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16 Apr 03 - 06:13 PM (#935013) Subject: BS: Yet Another Petition From: Bee-dubya-ell Petition to Mr. George W. Bush, President Dear Mister President, We the undersigned do hereby petition the President of The United States of America to return the large bronze statue commonly known as "The Statue of Liberty" to the people and/or government of the country known as "France". Insofar as the seldom showerin' , blue-cheese-eatin', Yes, Mister President, it's true. You yourself may not have knew this, but we have discovered that the Statue of Liberty was gave to us Americans by them French people back about a hunnert 'n twenty year ago. We was shocked! Hell, we didn't think it was already here when Columbus discovered the place or nothin', but we sorta figgered it was either made here or come from some nice agreeable country like England where they at least sorta speak the same language (At least we think they do, though we have a pretty hard time understandin' them Monty Python guys. An' that Trainspottin' movie - what'n the double-dee hell was that all about?) Anyways, since them French folks have dissed you so bad, we have decided that we don't want their ole statue no more. It's bad enough that they went and named all the fries in MacDonalds and Burger King and Wendie's after theirselves and we had to go and rename 'em Freedom Fries. We just don't think that havin' a national emblem with any Sincerely Your'n, Bubba Clem Bodine Chairman, Committee to Get Rid of Everthing French |
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16 Apr 03 - 06:41 PM (#935026) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: Morticia Jeez, if you guys get rid of everything that was |
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16 Apr 03 - 06:53 PM (#935029) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: gnu Get a fuckin grip. This is gettimg fucking foolish. |
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16 Apr 03 - 06:57 PM (#935035) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: CarolC We got Mount Rushmore, Morticia. What else do we need? ;-) P.S. there is a serious movement afoot, seeking to have Ronald Reagan's face added to the Mount Rushmore |
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16 Apr 03 - 07:19 PM (#935044) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: Bee-dubya-ell Get a fuckin grip. This is gettimg (sic) fucking foolish. Please excuse me for trying to interject a little humor into this "fucking" place. Did somebody leave their sense of humor in bed when they woke up this morning? And if the reason for your statement is because somebody else has already done this bit, sorry, I don't own a television so I woulda missed it. Bruce |
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16 Apr 03 - 08:46 PM (#935103) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: gnu A little humour. Oh, okay. Sorry. I thought you were just pissing on France. 'Scuse moi. Je ne comprend pas. Flit mon tu. Bonjour. |
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16 Apr 03 - 08:56 PM (#935105) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: GUEST Fuck France, no good bunch of batards, wine swilling, frog eating cowards. Good for fuck all really! |
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16 Apr 03 - 09:00 PM (#935108) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: gnu Oh, now that really adds to the conversation. Flit mon tu aussi !!! |
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16 Apr 03 - 09:15 PM (#935112) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: Bee-dubya-ell No, gnu. Actually, pissing on the idiots who are pissing on France. Now, just in case anybody else doesn't get it, and there seems to be a lot of that going around the Mudcat right now: IT'S SATIRE! THERE'S NOT REALLY ANYONE NAMED BUBBA CLEM BODINE. THERE'S NO SUCH ORGANIZATION AS COMMITTEE TO GET RID OF EVERTHING FRENCH. I MADE IT UP. I LOVE THE FRENCH. AND I'LL CALL 'EM "FREEDOM FRIES" WHEN SOMEONE PUTS A GUN TO MY HEAD AND MAKES ME! Bruce |
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16 Apr 03 - 09:23 PM (#935116) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: gnu Maintenant, bain Goddamn, Je departs fer de comfoooort of my rocker now me cause I can't stand dat, joke or no. I 'ope you gets a lot of names on dat petition so dat it's nice 'an big 'an fat when you shove it up your arse. Vive La France et vive la liberete. Oh yeah. God bless America, Land of da Free and 'ome of da Brave. I am sure the French accept your t'anks for da statue and for dat help in securing your freedom so dat you can shit on dem. Bon nuit. |
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16 Apr 03 - 10:24 PM (#935147) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: catspaw49 LMAO!!!! Just a great job Bruce!!!! Wish I'd thought of that one myself, but I couldn't have done it better!!! Let's face it, I stick to low (blow low) humor because a fart is hard to mistake as anyhting but a fart whereas irony and satire.....I take the occassional foray in but it ain't funny whan ya' gotta' explain it! Then I end up having to spend a few days bedrest at the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed...... Anyway, ya' done more than good!!!!!!! Listen if you want some low humor try catching up with the action on my non-birthday thread where we're about to have "The Great Mind Straightening and Patriotic Firworks Display." Spaw |
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16 Apr 03 - 10:49 PM (#935160) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: Troll gnu, I think we paid 'em back at The Marne and at Bastogne. Besides, it was the Kingdom of France and not the Republique who sent aid to the Colonies during our revolution. Vive le Roi! troll |
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17 Apr 03 - 09:58 AM (#935386) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: gnu Damn !! 7:53PM ? I'm glad noone dropped by last evening. Then again, how the hell would I know if I was that loaded by 8. My sober apologies (I know, I know). Perhaps I should switch to American Bud. Nah. I'd just stay up later. Maybe a nice Californian wine... the French say wine is good for you, non ? |
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17 Apr 03 - 10:37 AM (#935428) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: gnu AHA !!! Somebody DID drop by. I just took some burger out of the freezer and discovered that Dr. McGillicuddy was here and left half a pony of Fireball Whiskey Shooter. Not only that, but, upon surveying the kitchen counter, I spied a shooter glass with a thick, golden coating on the inside that smelled distinctly sweet. I sniffed aroud around a bit more and discovered an open, full can of Bud on the mantle by the stereo. Not leaving any stone unturned, I took stock of the contents of the fridge and found 8 unopened cans of Bud. I've got a hunch that either a party went on here or that I drank copious quantities. I'll have to dust for prints, after I drown some aspirin with a Bud. The plot thickens. |
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17 Apr 03 - 10:47 AM (#935435) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: Doktor Doktor Does anyone have the words to "That's Why I Hate the French" by Martin Long? It'd go down real well* with Gnu * as in the Titanic** ** or a Dijon Whore# #(last time I was there they were still WWII vintage) |
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17 Apr 03 - 11:21 AM (#935467) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: GUEST,noddy oh by the way television was invented by a Scot JOHN LOGIE BAIRD. So Stop trying to rewrite history and pretend Americans did everything. |
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17 Apr 03 - 12:59 PM (#935554) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: CarolC Even that's debatable, noddy: 1923: The television or iconoscope (cathode-ray tube) invented by Vladimir Kosma Zworykin. 1925: The mechanical television a precursor to the modern television, invented by John Logie Baird. Twentieth Century Inventors Or maybe television was invented by Philo T. Farnsworth: The Farnsworth Chronicles |
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18 Apr 03 - 12:22 PM (#935994) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: kendall One other thing. Our bombers were catching hell over Germany with 20% casualties. What was needed, was fighter escort. So, we sent a squadron of P-51 Mustangs wich didn't have enough range, so England installed the far superior MERLIN engine in them, and, that gave them the range to see the bombers to and from their targets. England also invented radar, and, they broke the enigma code, and the Japanes code. The French discovered a way to make snails edible. "Going to war without France, is like going deer hunting without an accordion." (Ross Perot" |
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18 Apr 03 - 12:27 PM (#936000) Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Petition From: kendall A little song I heard as a boy: "The first marines went over the top Parlay vous " " " " , and picked up the pennies the Canadians dropped, Inky dinky parlay vous. |