BS: The Truth about Grass!

28 Jun 03 - 01:47 PM (#973880)
Subject: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Little Hawk

Daylia alerted me to this marvelous little discussion betweem God and St. Francis about grass in North American communities...

GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the U.S.? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistles & stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought & multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees & flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colours by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It's the people that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colourful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites don't know anything about the circle of life. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber", Lord. It's a real stupid movie about.....

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

(What a hoot, eh, folks! That is the sorry truth. It's refreshing to go to places like Trinidad and Cuba where most people couldn't care less about this sort of idiocy, and just let plants grow as they will, pretty much.)

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28 Jun 03 - 01:52 PM (#973885)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: leprechaun

I have a neighbor down the steet who must be from Trindad and Cuba.

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28 Jun 03 - 02:31 PM (#973902)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Little Hawk

Ha! Ha! Is he causing you to gnaw your nails down to the quick, Lep?

I think the real reason North Americans are so obsessive about lawns is that they are worried what the neighbours think. That's certainly true in my mother's case. The best way to escape it is to move out into the country, and have a meadow around your place instead...or a little patch of forest.

Either that or just pave the area over, and cover it with a green astroturf carpet that never needs watering or cutting, and will not attract ants either. Totally sterile, totally unnatural, but totally green. I'm surprised more people have not opted for that approach.

- LH

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28 Jun 03 - 02:47 PM (#973914)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Amos

The lawn artifice, Ithink, is imported from those who aspired tobe, or perhaps once were, great barons of land and livestock and thought it was mighty impressive to show wide swards of perfectly good pasture they didn't need to use -- a status symbol indicating affluence.

I think the ideal scenario would be in a wooded surround, where the plants that could grow would grow, the trees would do what they do on their own, mostly, and if I needed walkways I could just clear them.

A

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28 Jun 03 - 02:57 PM (#973920)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Little Hawk

I agree entirely, Amos. It was a desire to imitate the lifestyles of the very rich that led to this lawn culture. That is also why tanning became so popular in recent historical times. There was a time when having a very pale skin was associated with the rich, and you didn't find anyone going out and deliberately trying to get "a tan" in those days. Hell, no! A tanned skin in those days was the mark of the working class, most of whom worked the land under the hot sun, and had no choice about it.

Your ideal scenario is just like mine.

Now, I will admit that a nicely kept lawn is a lovely sight, and is nice to be out on. No doubt. But it's not obligatory, that's all. There are plenty of perfectly good alternatives.

- LH

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28 Jun 03 - 03:02 PM (#973922)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: rangeroger

After 8 years of fighting the weeds in my EPA installed lawn I took care of things this spring. After an initial mowing I sprayed the entire lawn with Round-up. Now anyhing that comes up green gets sprayed.

My lawn is a beautiful patch of brown in a neighborhood of green lawns.When my neighbor asked me what I was going to do when the lawn died,I told him I was going to paint it green like they do in Phoenix.

On top of everything else, I am conserving both water and gasoline.

rr

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28 Jun 03 - 03:17 PM (#973932)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Little Hawk

The EPA installs lawns???

Way to go, rr. I bet you're driving the neighbours nuts. It's no fun competing with someone who refuses to play the game. Be sure you have an underground escape route ready when the lynch mob arrives. :-)

What is "Round-Up"?

- LH

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28 Jun 03 - 03:27 PM (#973942)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: catspaw49

It's a spray that kills anything that grows green....a weed killer ideally. BTW, Hawk, it's not available as a suppository since grass doesn't have an asshole.......except the ones who manicure it.

Spaw

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28 Jun 03 - 03:55 PM (#973947)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Bee-dubya-ell

Amos' ideal scenario is a perfect description of where I live. Lots of trees. Leaves fall from trees to ground and stay there. The only time leaves get raked up is when pathways need clearing, and those leaves are either composted or used as garden mulch. We do have a few patches of grass, particularly on the dam around our pond (necessary for erosion prevention) but they provide an interesting contrast to all the brown instead of being the dominant element.

I remember some city friends bringing their kids out and one of them saying something about our lack of grass. "It's ugly. But it's ugly in a pretty sort of way."

Bruce

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28 Jun 03 - 04:36 PM (#973958)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: John Hardly

Perhaps there's room to love both? I take dirt and make pots.

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28 Jun 03 - 04:59 PM (#973969)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: SeanM

LOL... "paint it green"...

Y'all haven't seen some of the California senior communities. Even with paid neighborhood gardeners who come with the property, the vast majority in Sun City have opted to root up ANYTHING living and replace it with...

Rocks. Lots and lots of rocks. Little round artificially formed "spring stream effect" rocks. Blocks and blocks of nothing but rocks, no less. Perhaps an occasionally topiary-style juniper tree. But always rocks.

*sigh*

M

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28 Jun 03 - 05:09 PM (#973977)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Bill D

the sad truth is, in the city, mowing takes less care than the weeding, trimming, digging, cutting, pulling..etc...associated with 'interesting' natural growth...just the poison ivy and wild raspberries keep me hopping...and the few areas we DO allow to grow have gotten out of control with all the rain this spring.

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28 Jun 03 - 05:57 PM (#974002)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Sam L

The fact that canines have been selectively bred for ten thousand years and are still just dogs makes one skeptical about genetic engineering. The cool thing about dingos is they went BACK.

   I don't know what to do about my yard. I tend to lag behind my neighbors in manicuring, and in most respects it looks like a Fellini Day Care center. May be building a teepee this summer. But the mosquitoes get to be unbearable with too much of the growth, the bushes, the asian trees--I'm beating it back now.

One good thing about some grass is it firms up the dirt so when it rains it's not all puddles of mud. Some area are all ivy, grow slower, look good, but it doesn't want to spread anymore. I only used a reel mower for many years but broke down and bought an electric--the yard's really a little too big, too many rainy days and it was unmowable.

   Ask God about the mosquitoes, somebody. What's the idea?

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28 Jun 03 - 06:04 PM (#974007)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Amos

ROTFLMAO, John!!   MArk Twain would love this thread!



A

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28 Jun 03 - 06:18 PM (#974012)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: artbrooks

When I lived in Seattle, I passed a yard on my daily bicycle commute...it had been covered with concrete, painted green, and had holes in it for shrubs.

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28 Jun 03 - 06:27 PM (#974014)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Mudlark

It has always amused me that about 90% of the work put in on grass in urban areas is strictly for social, rather than personal, benefit. All those front lawns, manicured to within an inch of their lives, and not a soul lounging around on them. They are strictly for show.

My wolf descendents, however, LOVE industrial turf, that thick heavy grass planted around commerical buildings. It's like catnip for their dog feet...makes them grin just to walk on it.

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28 Jun 03 - 07:29 PM (#974035)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Amos

Fred:

I think the answer is "humility".


Bxzzzxzxzzzzzzxzzxzzzmmmnzzzzzzzzzzmmmmmmmmmmmmzzzznnnnnnnnnn...SWAPPPP!

Anyone who's lost a night's sleep to the buzzing of one individual millimeter of invisible skeeter flying around and remembers what they felt like at dawn knows what I mean.


A

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28 Jun 03 - 08:08 PM (#974050)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: NicoleC

LOL -- I thought this thread was about the UCSD study which has just show that pot smoking doesn't cause permanent brain damage.

Provided of course, you stop smoking it at some point :)

Study: Pot Doesn't Cause Permanent Brain Damage

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28 Jun 03 - 08:16 PM (#974056)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Little Hawk

Mosquitos? Yeah, I've wondered about that too. Life is a mixture of pain and pleasure. The mosquitos help contribute to the pain part. Dealing with them teaches a number of things, like...endurance, patience, equanimity, covering yourself up properly, having enough self-control NOT to scratch the bites (which then go away quite quickly), and so on...

Hawaii had no mosquitos before the whites arrived, bringing them in their water barrels! It must really have been a paradise. Other kean things the whites brought were: rats, venereal disease, prudish ideas about female apparel and behaviour, preachers, firearms, firewater, marriage licenses, lawyers...

Like I said, it must have been a paradise...once.

- LH

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28 Jun 03 - 09:09 PM (#974080)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: catspaw49

Hawk, the real question is......Did the whites bring suppositories or did the Hawaiians already shove Macadamia nuts up their ass?

Spaw

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28 Jun 03 - 10:36 PM (#974101)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: JohnInKansas

leprechaun - (28 Jun 03 - 01:52 PM) I didn't know you lived down the street from me, but no, I'm not from there.

I've been as confused as Big G and St F about the behavior of my neighbors for decades - but surely they'd both know that dandelions and most of the common varieties of thistles that spring up in my neighborhood are not native to the US????

I rather suspect they were introduced here by someone a little less all-knowing than those guys.

I do try to treat the foreign plants as "honored guests," although the wild Morning Glory (called bindweed, here) does get a little "possessive" of my small bits of ground.

John

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28 Jun 03 - 10:56 PM (#974105)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: GUEST,Kimo in the Big Island

Mahalo, Catspaw. You wanna find out about stuff like dat, come to Hawaii, and camp out on da beach near Hilo. We local boys gonna show you a time you won't forget, brah. Guarans ballbearans!

Kimo

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29 Jun 03 - 06:17 AM (#974178)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Hrothgar

They didn't have macadamias then, spaw. They pinched them from Asutralia (where the common name used to be "Queensland nut".

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29 Jun 03 - 09:07 AM (#974189)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: *daylia*

JohnInKansas said " ... dandelions and most of the common varieties of thistles that spring up in my neighborhood are not native to the US????"

I'd never heard that before -- thanks! I did a bit of on-line research, and according to these sources you're absolutely right, John. (I'm posting 3 different sites in case SRS checks in here. SHe prefers it when I back up my claims with a couple different ... and I hope credible ... sites).

Alien Wildflowers of Ontario

Weeds of Wisdom - the Delights of Dandelion

Dandelion

It seems there's a bit of debate as to HOW dandelions were introduced here, whether by wind and water or human being, but NO question that they are originally native to Asia Minor/Europe. Sheesh, if you're not careful you can learn something new everyday on Mudcat!   :>)

But John, regarding your statement "I rather suspect they were introduced here by someone a little less all-knowing than those guys., when I read through the info about the historical medicinal/culinary uses of the dandelion, it's amazing that most people today consider them "weeds" and kill them! Here's a quote from the 3rd link I posted:

"Dandelion is very nutritious, having more vitamins and minerals than most vegetables, it has a long history of use as a food in many countries. The young leaves and flowers are eaten raw in salads, all leaves also cooked or boiled as a pot herb, flowers are often dipped in batter and fried, dried roots are used as a coffee substitute. Wine is made from fermented flowers said by some to be very flavorful and medicinal."

It goes on to say that dandelion remedies are used to treat just about everything, from skin conditions, kidney ailments, bacterial infections to corns and warts. What an amazing little plant!

For you adventuresome cooks out there, here's a pretty simple little recipe you might try. Just "weed" -- or rather, "harvest" -- your lawn first! And remember to wash the blossoms carefully, especially if you use weed-killers on your property.

Dandelion Blossom pancakes:

2 cups whole wheat flour, 4 tsp. baking soda, pinch of salt, w eggs, 1 cup of water, 4 T. olive oil, 2 c. dandelion flower.

Mix the dry ingredients together. Beat the egg in, then add the liquid and oil. Heat the oil and stir in the flowers. Spoon batter into a hot pan and cook like pancakes. Serve with maple syrup, yogurt or jam.


BillD -- I used to make wild raspberry dumplings when I had a patch growing in my backyard - and they are delectable! If you like I'll try to find the recipe again and PM you. I used to feel a bit guilty about it though, because the birds and wildlife actually live on these wild fruits and don't have the "supermarket" option ...

But Poison Ivy recipes? Any ideas out there???

:>)   daylia

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29 Jun 03 - 12:12 PM (#974230)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Mudlark

Dandelions are very tasty, the young raw leaves give a salad the same sophisticated flavor as expensive French greens. Harvesting can be a bit of a problem, however, as they are favored pee stops for 4-footers. At least wash thoroughly!

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29 Jun 03 - 01:06 PM (#974248)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Seamus Kennedy

When I see a perfectly manicured lawn, my first instinct is to take out my 9-iron or pitching wedge.. I few divots later, it won't look so nicely manicured.

Seamus

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29 Jun 03 - 01:24 PM (#974254)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Marc

Ok, so how many other mudcatters came to this thread thinking it was about 'Grass' for smoking, instead of grass on the lawn?

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29 Jun 03 - 01:44 PM (#974260)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: GUEST,heric

When I protested my brother's refusal to pick up after his golden, he said: "If aliens land on Earth and see us following dogs around like that, who do you suppose they will sign the treaty with?"

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30 Jun 03 - 12:25 AM (#974446)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Little Hawk

Ha! Well, it wasn't a problem before 1492. All the animals were free to shit wherever they wanted to. Things have gotten very regulated in the last 500 years, to the point where there's almost no place left where a human being or an animal is allowed to shit anymore. This can be a real problem when one is downtown in a modern city, and needing to relieve oneself, specially with all these mean-minded people putting up signs in restaurants saying "Washrooms are for customers only!".

Talk about an unChristian attitude! They ought to be ashamed of themselves.

"My country 'tis of thy people you're dying."

Too damn many overfed people all crowded together, and no respect for anything except the dollar. That's not a free people. That's a community of terrified, regimented slaves.

Nobody cares where a dog shits in Cuba or Trinidad. They accept the fact that life is not perfectly convenient in those places, because they are materially poor and they know even as children that life is difficult...but it's free. More power to them! Vivan los pobres de la tierra!

- LH

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30 Jun 03 - 03:58 AM (#974487)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Liz the Squeak

Ah, thus answering the question, do bears crap in the woods - yes, but only if they poop and scoop afterwards!

I had a lawn once. Grass will grow anywhere. In cracks in paving, in flowerpots, on old carpets, in the wierdest of places... will it grow where it's supposed to? No.

Still, it's a good place to store the pots and other garden junk.

LTS

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30 Jun 03 - 07:57 PM (#974771)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: open mike

round-up is an evil herbicide made by Monsanto.
There are seeds now for crops which are "round-up
ready" meaning they can be planted and will still
grow despite everything else being "rounded up"...
thus ensuring sales of both the seeds and the evil
chemical. Ha! and we are concerned about chemicals
used in other countries?? we used to export 2-4-D
to third world countries when it was out lawed for use
here. Ask the people in Bhopal India about the most
toxic substance created by man---the by-product of
the creatio of 2-4-D and 2-4-5-T (which together
made up the defoliant which was spread over Viet Nam
by helicopter--and has caused deformities and genetic
mutations)agent Orange...ahh the wonders of modern
chemistry!! The Bhopal disaster rendered land around
the factory sterile and poisoned for years, and many
people died and were permanently disabled when the
factory there exploded. yikes!
"give me holes in my apples but leave me the birds and the bees"
Joni Mitchell--Big Yellow Taxi

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30 Jun 03 - 11:01 PM (#974846)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Bill D

*daylia*...."... wild raspberry dumplings.."

yeah, I have made wild raspberry AND blackberry dumplings/turnovers..etc. when I lived in rented place with LOTS of space and overgrown bushes...Now, there are barely enough raspberries (after the birds get thru) to cover a few dishes of ice cream!...but they clog the Azalias and scratch folks coming up the walk. *sigh* If they would grow ONLY where I want them....but, I have more to do with life now than train raspberries. Thanks, though!

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01 Jul 03 - 12:00 AM (#974864)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: LadyJean

Our ancestors BROUGHT dandilions from Europe because they liked the greens, and a little dandilion wine.
We had a lawn, when I was growing up, dotted with small daisies, and violets, that didn't seem to mind being mowed. Mother added the grass clippings to our extensive compost heap, along with the mortal remains of the dandilions. Mother was a disciple of Rachel Carson's, having met the lady, when she worked at Chatham College. For her, the best weed killer was a trowel, and the ideal insecticide was a praying mantice.

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01 Jul 03 - 12:13 AM (#974868)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Little Hawk

Good stuff. Your mother was on the right track. Modern marketing favours the lazy, the unobservant, and the convenience-addicted personality...and in fact is based on promoting and encouraging addiction in every way possible. Why? Just for money. And that is why it is said that "the love for money is the root of all evil". Imagine a creature inventing a mere tool to make life more convenient, and then falling in love with that tool and becoming a slave to it! That is what has happened with human beings and money in the last few thousand years. It didn't start to happen in North America until after 1492 (approximately).

Anyone out there reading Adbusters?

- LH

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02 Jul 03 - 09:50 AM (#975133)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Sam L

That's true. All the time-saving innovations didn't save time, just raised the bar as to how much and how often one should do chores, and gave us more things to keep up with, fix, and clean. And I think in many cases they removed the aspects of process that made some chores kind of fun to do. Next came the wave of labour enhancing innovations, so everyone can work all the time, anywhere. Whee. I've read that the figures of the gross national product are suspect because you can't tell how much people work anymore, for one, and the U.S. counts value-enhancements in their figures.

I remember eating dandelions as a kid, read about it in the Euel Gibbons books. Anybody remember those?

   I remember a few things that I don't see anymore. Thistle used to be everywhere, and now I rarely see any. And people used to paint the lower trunks of trees white, but I suppose there are different treatments now for whatever that was.

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02 Jul 03 - 09:49 PM (#975638)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Rapparee

"Dandelion wine will make you remember
The first days of Spring in the middle of December.
Dandelion wine, dandelion wine...."

It's also a good marinade for steaks. And there's good reason that the dandelions are also known as "piss-a-bits." High in vitamins, dandelions are one of Nature's Good Things. Along with cat tails, they can keep you alive when lost if you know how to fix them (and dandelion leaves can be eaten raw).

Cat tails, now. The brown seed heads can be worked into biscuits for a nutty flavor. The young shoots in the spring can be cooked like aspargus and are delicious with butter. And the bulbous roots used to the be called "Indian potato" and are cooked in a similar way. Just be careful of what they are growning in because...

...it's been discovered that cat tails can convert raw sewage into "good" effluvient and there is quite some indication that cat tails can even neutralize heavy metals in soil and water (i.e., mud).

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men, or what good lurks in the plants around us?

Mind you, my own feeling about a lawn can be summed up as "if it's green, it's grass."

Roundup is quite useful for writing what you think of that anal-retentive neighbor in the middle of his perfect lawn. So are dandelion seeds, which you can buy....

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02 Jul 03 - 09:50 PM (#975640)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Rapparee

Oh, yeah, another thing about lawns: "God planted it, God can water it."

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02 Jul 03 - 10:00 PM (#975652)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Little Hawk

Another cool thing you can do to your neighbour's lawn is scatter clover seed all over it at night. Hard as it is to believe, some people sweat to eliminate all the clover from their lawns, despite the fact that it looks wonderful and is highly beneficial to the grass.

- LH

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03 Jul 03 - 04:31 AM (#975765)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: stevetheORC

Damn I thought we wus talking bout real GRASS n WEED ((((G)))))

De Orc

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03 Jul 03 - 12:11 PM (#976011)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: *daylia*

Okay, maybe this isn't the best place to ask this, but I have a couple "weeds" growing in my backyard (which is BTW the kind of 'lawn' that if I used weed-killer EVERYTHING would die) I'd really love to identify.

They are about 3 feet tall right now, bushy and branched. They have little round flat green things, with seeds visible inside them, about the size of a quarter, hanging from every stalk. They're really pretty, and I'd love to know what they are. I've checked out various "Weeds of Ontario" sites to no avail. Do any of you Cats have any idea what they might be???

Thanks in advance,

daylia

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03 Jul 03 - 12:14 PM (#976014)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: *daylia*

PS -- Rapaire, thanks so much for the interesting info on cat-tails! Really cool!

daylia

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03 Jul 03 - 12:45 PM (#976034)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Raptor

You people don't know SHIT!

Dog shit isn't good for the environment, Because of the stuff we feed the dogs! It would be stupid to not pick it up. A form of littering if you will!

The only pet shit that will properly compost is an animal that not only eats compleaty vegatarian diet but has beddind that will breakdown as well Example A Guinny Pig that is given Carefresh Bedding!

You see I KNOW SHIT!

Most will tell you I'm Full of it!

P.S. A pox on anyone who sprays chemicals on thier Lawns!

P.P.S. Little Hawk Give the cuba and trinadad thing a rest If I lived in a third world country I wouldn't worry about my lawn or dog shit either I'd be trying to figgure out where my next meal is comming from!

They probably don't concern themselves about such things as "Should I buy the Land Rover or the Hummer" either!

Raptor

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03 Jul 03 - 01:31 PM (#976077)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: *daylia*

Raptor, if you're really so "full of shit", you must have daily opportunities to achieve a state of true "enlightenment" (as we discussed yesterday). This is Guru material, for sure!

Please let me know when you're "enlightened" enough to start your own ass-can. (Oops, I mean ashram!)

daylia

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03 Jul 03 - 01:46 PM (#976084)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Raptor

Someone call Clinton Cuz that was funny!

Raptor

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04 Jul 03 - 03:28 AM (#976459)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Sam L

daylia, daylia,

my daughter and I spelled her name in the leaves of weeds, twigs, sea-shells and also the blossoms of a golden rain tree, as a kind of abstract portrait of her which I mounted by museum methods in a shadowbox frame.

If we can find out the name of the Eastern Virginia Bower, also called the Devil's Darning Needles, then surely you with your superior powers, higher wisdom, and better looks, can find those sites where you enter your locale and they provide endless images of plants you're apt to see there. It may take searching, scrolling, and difficult rejections of almost-matches, but it will be worth it.

   Incidentally it's also fun and poetic to have small children find and select particular rocks to represent people they know. Rock poetry. It's unexpectedly powerful stuff.

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04 Jul 03 - 11:41 AM (#976689)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: *daylia*

Rock poetry? Whimsical weedy self-portrayal in a shadow-box? That's sounds most creative and fun too, Fred!

" If we can find out the name of the Eastern Virginia Bower, also called the Devil's Darning Needles, then surely you with your superior powers, higher wisdom, and better looks ... "

WHere the h*** did you get those ideas about me, Fred? Been paying me psychic visits in my dreams or something (I look better ... sometimes even think better asleep, I think!)? Or are you just dissin me?!

" ... can find those sites where you enter your locale and they provide endless images of plants you're apt to see there. It may take searching, scrolling, and difficult rejections of almost-matches, but it will be worth it.

*sigh*   I've wasted a few hours and burned out my eyeballs doing that already, Fred. I've decided it really doesn't matter what they're called, they're so pretty. I intend to "harvest" them in the fall, dry them out, and use them in the dried flower crafts I love fumbling around with. I'm not intending to eat them though!!

happy days --- daylia

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04 Jul 03 - 12:05 PM (#976699)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Little Hawk

Look, Raptor, you oughta actually go with me to Cuba or Trinidad and then you would learn a thing or two. Not everyone there is just worrying about "where their next meal is coming from" (although that is true of some people, of course). On the whole, I find they are a lot more relaxed and easygoing about life than people in North America, despite (or maybe because of) their lack of luxuries.

Now, I know a lot of North Americans who are in deep shit because of bad teeth that they can't afford to get fixed, cos dentists charge you hundreds or thousands of dollars to do it. In Cuba it's done for free. Bite on that, ol' buddy! Them Cubans may not be as badly off as you think.

- LH

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04 Jul 03 - 02:58 PM (#976833)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Sam L

Daylia, eNature.com is the one we had luck with, if you ever try again. my ideas came from previous observations, stuff you seem to have at your fingertips, and a rumour possibly started by you and Little Hawk that you look like Mick Jagger. I look like a potato, and my kids pick out potato-shaped rocks to represent me. Only difference is, I come with an assortment of lips, ears, and noses.

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04 Jul 03 - 03:25 PM (#976857)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: *daylia*

Fred, you sound really nutritious, and cute too! Especially the "assortment of lips, ears and noses"! If I really did look like Mick Jagger, I'd be just beseeching the Higher Powers -- or maybe, Fred Miller! - for an different "assortment of lips", that's for sure!

See, I always thought Mick was about as cute as a can of cut worms, although I did acquire a bit of a taste for the "Strollin Bones" after many years of being reluctantly inundated with them. Sympathy for the Devil -- ah, I can relate to that!

Thanks so much for the site -- I'll try it now!

daylia

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04 Jul 03 - 05:51 PM (#976940)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Raptor

Little Hawk

I'd love to go to cuba if only for the birdwatching

As usual you'd probably end up teaching me something new as well

I'd go too if my wife would let me spend the money, If I did it without asking she'd have my balls for bookends!

Raptor

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04 Jul 03 - 06:05 PM (#976945)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: toadfrog

Truth about grass (in the American West) is that it is an extremely serious problem because of the water it consumes. One of these times we are going to exhaust all our aquifers and go bone dry. Land is already beginning, in some places, to sink into collapsing aquifers. Colorado has the lushest, greenest lawns I have ever seen. Even Western Colorado, which is part of the Great Basin. They love those green lawns, in part if Colorado does not consume all that water, it might get consigned to other States, or to Mexico.

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04 Jul 03 - 08:15 PM (#976987)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Rapparee

Actually, some in The West are trying to do something about stupid water usage: Xeriscape, for one.

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05 Jul 03 - 12:50 AM (#977103)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Little Hawk

Good point, toadfrog. Water is needed for far more vital matters than providing Joe Sixpack with a nice, green lawn. If the Indians could have foreseen what was going to happen to America they would probably all have joined forces and stopped the European invasion on the Atlantic beaches.

Now, however, the water and all the other resources will simply go "where the money is"...until even the money is no longer enough to prevent an overall collapse of our social pyramid scheme.

- LH

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05 Jul 03 - 11:14 AM (#977298)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Sam L

An inventor who has a solar power company and some audio products told me one of the biggest dampers to solar was that it just looks different, having panels on the roof. He also said he couldn't sell his innovative audio speakers in line with how cheaply he can produce them, because in audio, people just want to pay more. Like water for lawns.

   Lawns seem to be another of these absurd forces that persist against any amount or degree of plain sense. Manipulating social discomfort and embarrassment is probably the only forceful argument, short of actual disaster.

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05 Jul 03 - 12:20 PM (#977323)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Little Hawk

People are creatures of habit...no matter how silly, useless or harmful the habit is, they will persist once the habit has been established. And that is why I am concerned that George Bush may launch another war...

- LH

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06 Jul 03 - 11:25 AM (#977788)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: GUEST,noddy

Hey Raptor who are you trying to kid " balls for bookends". Next time use Elephant Man as you name you might get believed.

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06 Jul 03 - 07:59 PM (#977998)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Raptor

I didn't mean that!

I AM NOT AN ANIMAL...

Raptor

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06 Jul 03 - 08:35 PM (#978014)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Bobert

Hey, there's a place fir grass, folks. In me and L.H.'s peace pipes... Jus funnin'...

Other than than, not much us fir the stuff. I got lots of gardens and use the stuff between beds fir paths and effect but that's about it.

Man, there are folks who think that growing grass is gardening??? Where did that idea cone from? Oh, Scott's... Yer right. Hey, howz about the cool plants that do more than, ahhh, grass?...

Man, I was just someplace out in Wes Ginny ridin' thru this town and there was nuthin' but grass. Acrea and acres of freshly cut, ahhhh, grass.

How original...

Geeze...

Bobert

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06 Jul 03 - 10:55 PM (#978063)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Rapparee

Shucks, LH, I've thought for a long time that most of the problems in the Americas stem from the lax immigration policies of the Indians.

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07 Jul 03 - 12:30 AM (#978088)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Little Hawk

Well, I can remember a time when dealing with the many white immigrants to the American West certainly taxed my patience... :-)

Some of my friends at that time had the attitude that "the only good white-eye is a dead white-eye". These kind of ideas take hold of people and lead to all kinds of trouble...specially considering that he who lives by the vendetta generally ends up dying by it as well. Of course, some of us would rather go out with a bang than die quietly of old age. I seem to be going for the old age option in this life, having tried the "die young and have a good looking corpse" routine so many times before.

- LH

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07 Jul 03 - 09:05 AM (#978221)
Subject: RE: BS: The Truth about Grass!
From: Rapparee

Shucks, dealing with some of those folks taxes my patience even now.

Considering what I've often been told is my probable destination, it sounds so unpleasant that I don't think I'll make the journey at all.
When the roll is called up yonder, I won't be there. 8-)

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