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Lyr Req: The Ballad of Mini Cooper (Archie Fisher)

02 Jul 03 - 01:19 PM (#975273)
Subject: Lyr Req: The Ballad of mini Cooper
From: GUEST,Diane

Does anyone know the words to the Ballad of Mini Cooper by the Beggarmen?


02 Jul 03 - 01:33 PM (#975292)
Subject: Lyr Add: THE BALLAD OF MINI COOPER (Archie Fisher)
From: Leadfingers

The Ballad of Mini Cooper

Well, my name is Mini Cooper. I was once as white as snow,
Till I met a Rally Driver and a-rallying did go.
He promised me fine trophies and I've got them all, it's true,
But surely, girls, you'll pity me when you here what I've been through.

He took me down a shady lane so dark I couldn't see,
And surely, girls, there never was a man as fast as he.
He laid me on a mossy bank and gave me such a fright!
He examined my suspension with a spanner and a light.

When he found that I was stalling, he flew into such a rage!
But I knew he was trying to get me to a very special stage.
So he tickled my carburettors and gave my points a touch,
And how could I resist him, girls, when he slipped in the clutch?

But my back and sides are scratched now, and my bottom's red with rust.
My bonnet's badly dented and my Hydrolastic's bust.
I've got no brakes to speak of and I think my head is gone,
So don't go into the forest girls without your sump guard on.

Great song I haven't sung for years. Maybe I ought to revive it. Have fun.


    According to notes below, it appears the songwriter was Archie Fisher.
    -Joe Offer-


02 Jul 03 - 02:07 PM (#975327)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Ballad of mini Cooper
From: Ferret

Can you tell me what the tune is called please.
many thanks
all the best
ferret


02 Jul 03 - 02:12 PM (#975332)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Ballad of mini Cooper
From: alanabit

I recall Fred Wedlock singing this one, but I wonder if it is another example of Miles Wootton's mastery?


02 Jul 03 - 03:08 PM (#975378)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Ballad of mini Cooper
From: bill\sables

The tune is Hot Asphelt


02 Jul 03 - 03:16 PM (#975386)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Ballad of mini Cooper
From: Herga Kitty

As far as I know, it was written by Archie Fisher. I first heard it in the mid/late 1960s, when I was still at school but had started going to the Herga Folk Club and we had the High Level Ranters as guests, including of course, Archie's brother-in-law, Colin Ross. It was Tom Gilfellon who sang it - I think he'd been Archie's navigator on some rallies.

We had a folk club session at school, a few months after that, and I sang The Ballad of Mini-Cooper. I don't think our music teacher appreciated it.

Kitty


02 Jul 03 - 03:21 PM (#975391)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Ballad of mini Cooper
From: EBarnacle1

Gawd, I haven't rallyed in about 30 years. Had a tricked out '65 SAAB 96 Monte Carlo converted to 1.5 litre V4. It dynoed at 140 hp and used to take Porsches and Vettes on the straight. They never knew what hit them.


03 Jul 03 - 03:24 PM (#976139)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Ballad of mini Cooper
From: GUEST,Ritchie

I remember being in a mates mini cooper 's' and I swear that everytime we came up to a roundabout the rear wheels went round before the front ones. Gosh it was fast. Last year we went to Turin and saw where they made the 'Italian Job' ...not a lot of people know that!...well I can dream can't I.

nice song , thank you very much Diane and leadfingers.

regrds Ritchie


04 Jul 03 - 08:56 AM (#976591)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Ballad of mini Cooper
From: Willie-O

That Archie's a closet gearhead. When he played our town a few years ago, I got to open for him. I was working at the time at the Canadian Tire (large hardware/automotive chain) across the road from where he was staying. He came into the store before he left town, looking for a special set of "spanners" he could take back to Scotland so could fix the brake lines on his vintage Saab! (unfortunately we didn't seem to have them in stock).

I'd have to say, though clever enough, that lyric's not one of his all time classics. Early years.

W-O
I want a Mini Cooper.


05 Jul 03 - 04:06 AM (#977160)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Ballad of mini Cooper
From: open mike

i saw quite a few of these in sweden lately-
http://www.mini.com/
and these too, which apparently can not be
acquired in the u.s.
www.smartcar.com


05 Jul 03 - 05:29 PM (#977470)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Ballad of mini Cooper
From: Bernard

Pedant alert...!!

The Mini Cooper (well, some of them) had 'Hydrolastic' suspension - without the 'e'!

It was a weird suspension system where the 'springs' on the front and rear wheel on each side of the car were connected via an hydraulic system. They weren't really springs as such, but a kind of balloon arrangement filled with a special green coloured hydraulic fluid. It was supposed to be 'self levelling' - if the front wheel was pushed up, the rear wheel was pushed down by the same amount to compensate.

Minis using this system didn't handle as well as their 'dry' counterparts...

Citroën made a much better job of it!

Sorreee! I'll go away now...

A great song... used to do it myself, years ago!!

Okay, I'm going!


15 Jun 05 - 06:26 AM (#1501399)
Subject: Lyr Req: My name is Mini Cooper
From: RWJ

I am looking for a song i have not heard for a while ,the first line is ( my name is mini cooper i was once as white as snow ) Can any one help

    Ron


15 Jun 05 - 06:42 AM (#1501410)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My name is Mini Cooper
From: Leadfingers

I posted the lyrics years ago ! Put 'Ballad of Mini Cooper' in the search box and there it is !


15 Jun 05 - 06:50 AM (#1501414)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My name is Mini Cooper
From: Dave Bryant

I believe it was originally written for Archie Fisher. It's proper title is "The Ballad of Mini Cooper" - the tune is "Hot asphalt". I can only remember fragments, but I heard it sung very recently. It's probably in a previous thread (it doesn't seem to be in the DT), but the search facility isn't working at the moment.

My name is Mini Cooper I was once as white as snow
Till I met a rally driver and a rallying did go

He took me down a shady lane and gave me such a fright
When he examined my suspension with a spanner and a light.

......
There never was a driver who was half as fast as he
He tuned my carburetter and gave my points a touch
So how could I resist him girls when he let in the clutch.

..... and my hydrolastic's bust
I've got no brakes to speak of and I think my head has gone
So don't go into the forest girls without your sumpguards on.


15 Jun 05 - 07:53 AM (#1501469)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My name is Mini Cooper
From: alanabit

Fred Wedlock recorded this back in the seventies.


15 Jun 05 - 11:12 AM (#1501620)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My name is Mini Cooper
From: Noreen

Have tried searching for these lyrics but no success at present. In the meantime here are a few more additions as remembered by Stewart:

"The Ballad of Mini Cooper"

My name is Mini Cooper I'd a body white as snow
Til I met a rally driver and a-rallying I did go
He promised me fine trophies and I got them all for sure
…..


He took me down a shady lane so dark I couldn't see
And let me tell you girls, what there he did to me
He laid me on a mossy bank up against a wall so tight
And he examined my suspension with a spanner and a light.

......
There never was a driver who was half as fast as he
He tuned my carburettor and gave my points a touch
So how could I resist him girls when he let in the clutch.

..... and my hydrolastic's bust
I've got no brakes to speak of and I think my head has gone
So don't go into the forest girls without your Nickons* on.

*Nickons = suspension struts


15 Jun 05 - 11:26 AM (#1501630)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My name is Mini Cooper
From: Dave Bryant

OK the thread search facility is now up an running again - you can find the thread here.


15 Jun 05 - 01:07 PM (#1501707)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My name is Mini Cooper
From: Leadfingers

Thanks for the link Dave !


15 Jun 05 - 07:23 PM (#1502077)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My name is Mini Cooper
From: RWJ

Thanks all found it

   Ron


13 Mar 11 - 04:05 PM (#3113054)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Ballad of mini Cooper
From: GUEST,Gordon

I have a vague memory of this song being called "The ballad of Mini Minor"in it's original form.I also recall "WPC Sadie Stick"being sung by somebody too,about the same era.


13 Mar 11 - 07:47 PM (#3113146)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Ballad of mini Cooper
From: GUEST

Archie did write it.
He was a confirmed Saab man, in the days when you had to know the Owners' Cub members in an area in case you broke down, as there were no parts available this side of the North Sea.
He used to get quite poetic about them... "... red mane flying in the wind" etc - a red Saab he used to have.
But of many years now, he prefers four legs!
I think he is one of the best, if not THE best, accompaniest of a song that I've ever heard.


14 Mar 11 - 09:32 AM (#3113451)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Ballad of mini Cooper
From: Geoff the Duck

Gordon - WPC Sadie Stick was by either Mike Absolom or Stan Arnold.
Quack!
GtD.


26 Jul 11 - 03:36 PM (#3196046)
Subject: Lyr Add: THE BALLAD OF MINI COOPER
From: GUEST

THE BALLAD OF MINI COOPER

Well, my name is Mini Cooper. I was once as white as snow,
Till I met a Rally Driver and a-rallying did go.
He promised me fine trophies and I've got them all, it's true,
But surely, girls, you'll pity me when you hear what I've been through.

He took me down a shady lane so dark I couldn't see,
And surely, girls, there never was a man as fast as he.
He laid me on a mossy bank and gave me such a fright!
He examined my suspension with a spanner and a light.

When he found that I was stalling, he flew into such a rage!
But I knew he was trying to get me to a very special stage.
So he tickled my carburettors and gave my points a touch,
And how could I resist him, girls, when he slipped in the clutch?

But my back and sides are scratched now, and my bottom's red with rust.
My bonnet's badly dented and my Hydrolastic's bust.
I've got no brakes to speak of and I think my head is gone,
So don't go into the forest girls without your sump guard on.

I tell you girls now truly I would rather have this life
Than be locked up in a garage and polished every night
I would rather have a young man who would drive me hard and fast
Than be some old man's darling to be made to last and last

I would rather be driven hard and fast along a forest track
To feel me valves a-bouncing and me revs go off the clock
I would rather have my accelarator hard against the floor
Than be proded by an old man who's forgotten what it's for.


27 Jul 11 - 05:00 AM (#3196388)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Ballad of mini Cooper
From: Leadfingers

GUEST - Who added the last bit of Lyric ??


19 Oct 11 - 02:05 AM (#3241109)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Ballad of Mini Cooper (Archie Fisher)
From: GUEST

I remember hearing another few verses that went something like this:

We went upon a rally and he took along a friend
And I'll tell you how I lost it on a very sticky bend
He tried to make me do a turn, of that there is no doubt
And when he finally coaxed me round me tail was hangin' out!

I new that I was slipping, I knew he'd lost control
By the way he yelled "Geronimo! I think we're gonna roll!"
What happened to me next dera girtls, I cannot tell to you
For he tipped me on my side and left me to the service crew.

This was on a live recording which my brother had on cassette abut 20 years ago.   No idea who the artiste was, but he also sang about the Bantam Cock, the flasher of Wimbledon Common, and the old one about "While the train is in the stattion......."

Tony Thomson
Cape Town, South Africa


11 Nov 13 - 06:45 PM (#3574833)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Ballad of Mini Cooper (Archie Fisher)
From: GUEST,John Bowen [MASSAC 1966-69]

Re: Mini Cooper suspension - Hydrolastic versus dry.
The reason BMC [as it was then] reverted to 'dry' from Hydrolastic was cost - 'dry' was a lot cheaper. All the Works drivers reckoned the Hydrolastic system had much better feel, particularly on slippery surfaces where Mini excelled.


20 Jan 16 - 02:22 PM (#3766992)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My name is Mini Cooper
From: GUEST,Folking Bob

Well, my name is Mini Cooper. I was once as white as snow,
Till I met a Rally Driver and a-rallying did go.
He promised me fine trophies and I've got them all, it's true,
But surely, girls, you'll pity me when you here what I've been through.

He took me down a shady lane so dark I couldn't see,
And surely, girls, there never was a man as fast as he
He laid me on a mossy bank and gave me such a fright!
He examined my suspension with a spanner and a light.

We went upon a rally and he took along a friend
And I'll tell you how I lost it on a very sticky bend
He tried to make me do a turn, of that there is no doubt
And when he finally coaxed me round me tail was hangin' out!

I new that I was slipping, I knew he'd lost control
By the way he yelled "Geronimo! I think we're gonna roll!"
What happened to me next dera girtls, I cannot tell to you
For he tipped me on my side and left me to the service crew.

When he found that I was stalling, he flew into such a rage!
But I knew he was trying to get me to a very special stage.
So he tickled my carburettors and gave my points a touch,
And how could I resist him, girls, when he slipped in the clutch?

But my back and sides are scratched now, and my bottom's red with rust.
My bonnet's badly dented and my Hydrolastic's bust.
I've got no brakes to speak of and I think my head is gone,
So don't go into the forest girls without your sump guard on.

I tell you girls now truly I would rather have this life
Than be locked up in a garage and polished every night
I would rather have a young man who would drive me hard and fast
Than be some old man's darling to be made to last and last

I would rather be driven hard and fast along a forest track
To feel me valves a-bouncing and me revs go off the clock
I would rather have my accelarator hard against the floor
Than be proded by an old man who's forgotten what it's for.