To Thread - Forum Home

The Mudcat Café TM
28 messages

BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy

10 Jul 03 - 12:42 AM (#980305)
Subject: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Amos

This is long but worth it...

Q. Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction.

Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.

Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass
destruction, did we?
A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll
find something, probably right before the 2004 election.

Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A: To use them in a war, silly.

Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use
in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to
war with them?
A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those
weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend

Q: That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had all
those big weapons with which they could have fought back?
A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.

Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those
weapons our government said they did.
A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those
weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

Q: And what was that?
A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein
was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another

Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his
A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic
competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops
to make U.S. corporations richer.

Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate
gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A: Right.

Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People
who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
A: I told you, China is different.

Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China
is Communist.

Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are
sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Like in Iraq?
A: Exactly.

Q: And like in China, too?
A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other
hand, is not.

Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some
laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with
Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists
like us.

Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and
started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become
A: Don't be a smart-ass.

Q: I didn't think I was being one.
A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.

Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam
Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a
legitimate leader anyway.

Q: What's a military coup?
A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country
by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United

Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is
our friend.

Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly
overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate
A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he
helped us invade Afghanistan.

Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men - fifteen of them Saudi
Arabians - hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings
in New York and Washington, killing 3,000 innocent people.

Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive
rule of the Taliban.

Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off
people's heads and hands?
A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off
people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars
back in May of 2001?
A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job
fighting drugs.

Q: Fighting drugs?
A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing
opium poppies.

Q: How did they do such a good job?
A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban
would have their hands and heads cut off.

Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing
flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off
for other reasons?
A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off
people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off
people's hands for stealing bread.

Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy
that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were
in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not

Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

Q: What's the difference?
A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet
fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her
eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of
patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her
eyes and fingers.

Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are
our friends.

Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were
from Saudi Arabia.
A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

Q: Who trained them?
A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very
bad man.

Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion
of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan
talked about?
A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or
thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call
them Russians now.

Q: So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends?
A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after
they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our
invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French
and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.

Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French
fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we
want them to do?
A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A: Well, yeah. For a while.

Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our
friend, temporarily.

Q: Why did that make him our friend?
A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked
the other way, to show him we were his friend.

Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes
our friend?
A: Most of the time, yes.

Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an
A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can
profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the

Q: Why?
A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for
America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is
a godless unAmerican Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked

Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A: Yes.

Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him
what to do.

Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because
George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes,
make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

A: Good night, Daddy.

And good night to you, Mrs McGillicuddy, wherever you are!


10 Jul 03 - 02:38 AM (#980325)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Cluin

Daddy! I'm scared! Leave the light on please!

10 Jul 03 - 10:02 AM (#980530)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: GUEST,misophist

This sounds like a fairly reasoned, accurate explanation to me.

10 Jul 03 - 10:19 AM (#980540)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Janie

Ahh Amos,

You make it all so very clear.


10 Jul 03 - 12:57 PM (#980678)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Little Hawk

And then there's that old quote... "Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive."

Study the power politics of any empire builder in history, and you will find such deception amid false declarations of high moral purpose.

- LH

10 Jul 03 - 01:00 PM (#980681)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: ard mhacha

The outcome of all of this is that Bush will be re-elected with a bigger majority, the good folk of the US are the most brain-washed electroate on earth. Ard Mhacha.

10 Jul 03 - 02:03 PM (#980725)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Peter K (Fionn)

Cheer up, ard mhacha. I don't think he's going to make it. "It's the economy, stupid!" - and the economy's going to be down the tubes. (I just wish the developing world would hurry up and default on debt repayments.)

10 Jul 03 - 02:52 PM (#980757)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Don Firth

There is enough going on in and around the Bush administration to make Watergate look like a childish prank and Monica to look like a nun.

Where in the hell are Woodward and Bernstein when we need them?

Don Firth

10 Jul 03 - 06:14 PM (#980869)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Amos

On the payroll?


10 Jul 03 - 08:57 PM (#980961)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: maire-aine

Check out this article
from Sr. Joan Chittister

10 Jul 03 - 09:46 PM (#980973)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Bobert

Good 'en, Amos, good 'en...

What I don't get is the large number of white males who, in spite of the facts, don't care one way or the other why the US attacked Iraq. Just so long as we did it? Man, the white male, in particular, is heading the field in the dumbed down race....

I don't get it?


10 Jul 03 - 10:05 PM (#980982)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Amos

I've met females of equally dunderheaded enthusiasm, believe it or not. I think what we have here is a sorta mass hypnosis thing. Expensive stuff, eh? Lives and money down the tubes every month. Be nice if we could get that desert sinkhole on its feet and leave it alone. But it isn't going to happen unless King George gets smart and pulls his bloody Hessians out.


10 Jul 03 - 10:25 PM (#980988)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: michaelr

Good one, Amos. Did you write that? Mind if I pass it around?


10 Jul 03 - 10:28 PM (#980990)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Bobert

Yeah, but now that we've so totally screwed it up, Amos, how are we just gonna pull out. Man, what a mess. Too bad that King Geogie Porgy blew the crap out of the UN on his way to Iraq or at least we could turn it over.... but the UN is another Bush casualty... Like I said, what a mess.

And I thought that the Washington Bullets (Wizzards) were a mess. Bush makes this hapless team lookm like the world champs...


10 Jul 03 - 10:37 PM (#980997)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Billy the Bus

Aw, shucks, must get some new glasses! I read the thread title as "Summary: Bush Foreskin Policy" - my mind boggled furiously.

His current about face re: US involvement in Africa could be worth a few Q/A's Amos.

When he was 'erected', I shook my head and wondered why. Now I just shake my head. Why wonder?

Cheers - Sam

10 Jul 03 - 10:40 PM (#980999)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: LadyJean

A lot of Americans need to believe that their husbands, children, friends, etc. are fighting for something. I buy cookies from a woman whose daughter is in Iraq. She decorates her table with flags. She doesn't want to believe that her daughter's life is on the line to make Dick Cheney more money.
Go through the blue collar neighborhoods, and you'll see the flags, the ribbons and the signs, because their kids are over there fighting, and they need, desperately, to believe that they're fighting for freedom, not oil.

10 Jul 03 - 10:57 PM (#981010)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Bobert

Not to mention the fact that half the folks on their block have been laid off over the past two years and they're scared if they don't have enough flags on the car or on the porch, they'll be next....


10 Jul 03 - 11:15 PM (#981015)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Amergin

yeah well I wonder if they'll ever realise that their flag decal won't get them to heaven anymore....

10 Jul 03 - 11:16 PM (#981016)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Bobert

My man,... John Prine....


10 Jul 03 - 11:47 PM (#981034)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Amos

Great timing --- I just heard him singing it on web radio -- loved it!

Yes, the remark about King George's Hessians is original, at least for this time and place, and feel free.

It is a very tough position for someone who has bought the flag -- and who among us has not been full of pride for it at some point? If my daughter were over there I'd be baking cookies and praying too, while I was doing anything I reasonably could do to get her out. But if she was over there because she personally believed in the rightness of that course of action -- unlikely, but if -- then I'd just bake cookies and pray. A lot.
We have a great luxury to be able to harp on this massive stupidity.


11 Jul 03 - 02:24 AM (#981063)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Amos

Oh, stupid me... I answered the wrong question. No, I did not write it, and I apologize if I gave that impression. It was circulating -- not for the first time -- on an email net of friends, and I just swooped it up. I don't know who wrote it -- there was no attribution.



11 Jul 03 - 03:52 AM (#981088)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Billy the Bus


Georgie Porgie
Puddin' and pie
Kissed the girls
And made them cry

When the boys
Came out to play
Georgie Porgie
Ran Away

Refers, I think, to King George III of England. Your post is the first I've seen connecting DWG - "Dork-Wit George" to him. It's appropriate, George III annihalited a few folk while Empire Building.

Oh for the day when GWB, the Army, Airforce and Navy fund themselves by "selling cookies" - there's a song from the 60s, but I can't remember it.

Sad Cheers - Sam - in Nuclear Free NZ (but that may change thanks to US pressure)

11 Jul 03 - 10:28 AM (#981249)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Tinker

Thanks Amos, I sent it off to my daughter who is spending the week in DC at a National Student Leadership Conference on International Relations... Last I talked to her she was commenting on all the young republicans she had met...BG...


11 Jul 03 - 10:34 AM (#981254)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Amos

We're both blessed with daughters who don't mind using their brains and thereby arriving at similar political views to our own, eh? I tell ya , it makes a fella proud! :>)


11 Jul 03 - 12:09 PM (#981316)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: curmudgeon

For another look at George and the gang, do check out this iconoclastic site here.

11 Jul 03 - 01:02 PM (#981354)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy

Fionn I hope I am wrong, but reading the various notes on this Thread, I don`t feel any more optimistict.
The economy will certainly come into play, but will it be enough to turn around the gullible electorate?. I dont believe it.
At least reading the wise heads on this thread gives out a little hope. Ard Mhacha.

16 Jul 03 - 07:56 PM (#984766)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Amos

An interesating perspective on the possible consequences of fallout from Bush's current scandal as a liar:The Behining of the End??


16 Jul 03 - 08:50 PM (#984799)
Subject: RE: BS: Summary: Bush Foreign Policy
From: Bobert

Hey, Amos, like has everyone forgotten that the Weapons Inspectors were telling the world that Iraq di not have nuclear capabilities?

I mean, There were lots of folks telling Bush to "check the facts" including millions who took to the streets accross America and the rest of the world. "Like Check your facts, dude!"

But, no, Bush couldn't have cared less if he was lieing or not. He wanted to invade Iraq. Why? 1. Oil, 2. Polls, 3. "Cause Saddam tried to kill my daddy", 4. Because it took the focus off the fact that he's been stealing from the American working class, and 5. It also took the focus off the fact that he is a miserable presidcent...

Anyone want to add a few reasons why Bush lied to the world... jump in.