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Music for Menopause

20 Nov 03 - 12:01 PM (#1057829)
Subject: Music for Menopause
From: wysiwyg

Well, WHERE THE **** IS IT!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????

It can't just be me who would like to know what helps even things out a bit from time to, um, TIME!?

Thank you,

~Susan :~)


20 Nov 03 - 12:02 PM (#1057831)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: Sorcha

Check out Odetta and Sweet Honey in the Rock......(did you get snail mail recently?)


20 Nov 03 - 12:11 PM (#1057840)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: wysiwyg

Um......... hmmmm...... maybe......... oh yeah, just before I went outta town, thank you, I passed it on to a band member to do some mining, thanks! He'd been a member of the movement that spawned that little songbook, so he was very happy to get it. I sorry I not say so sooner.

They say Cottonheadedness is a symptom. :~)

Anyhow, music-- it can be so irritating at certain times!

~S~


20 Nov 03 - 12:17 PM (#1057843)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: Amos

Not music, but "Red Moon Passage" is an interesting collection of perspectives on the subject -- edited by Bonnie Jean Horrigan, of Olivenhain, and available on that big online bookstore, Amazon.com.

A


20 Nov 03 - 04:59 PM (#1058042)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: GUEST

There's Marie-Lynn Hammond's "Menopause Blues" (Lyrics pasted from her web site):

I'm a woman, I lead a woman's life
I've had three kids, I've been a dutiful wife
along the way I suffered every female complaint
enough to try the patience of a female saint
now I'm pushing fifty, figured I've paid my dues
what's my reward? It's the menopause blues

The menopause blues, the menopause blues
hot flashes flashin' from your hair to your shoes
brittle bones, insomnia and puttin' on weight
except for the above I guess I'm feelin' great
you say some women have no trouble, well thanks for the news
the rest of us are stuck with the menopause blues

I went to my doctor, I said is there a cure
she bit her lip and handed me a pink brochure
about the miracle of hormone replacement pills
the modern way to fix those pesky change-of-life ills
but oops! They might cause cancer - and I'm s'pposed to choose?
Good luck with sorting out all your menopause blues

The menopause blues, the menopause blues
hot flashes flashin' from your hair to your shoes
so where's the peace and wisdom that old age brings?
I'm feelin' like a yo yo with these wild mood swings
would Medicare reimburse me for a round-the-world cruise?
I need a little compensation for these menopause blues

They say don't fret over these changes that are comin' on
the benefits may well outweigh the pains
they tell us it's a natural phenomenon
well so are earthquakes and hurricanes - and rattlesnakes!

The menopause blues, the menopause blues
hot flashes flashin' from your hair to your shoes
at least there's no more unplanned pregnancy fear
a pity my libido's also disappeared
comin' soon to a body near you and you cannot refuse
so we'd better get used to the menopause blues
yes we'd better all get used to the menopause blues

(hey is it just me or is it hot in here?)


20 Nov 03 - 07:20 PM (#1058121)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: MAG

what was the name of that female blues trio -- the ones who did "Shake the dew off the lily ..."


25 Dec 03 - 07:33 PM (#1079911)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: Haruo

Email just received from a friend in Virginia:
Friends:   



     You have been selected to receive this email because you are in my address book AND because you are known to have a sense of humour.


     
    This morning, our supervisor tuned the radio to one of our local "Christmas music" radio stations. I heard for the first time [actually, I was TRYING to hear, since I was answering 9-1-1 calls at the time], a novelty song to the tune of "Here Comes Santa Claus,"   called "Here comes menopause......." Does anyone out there know the artist who recorded this...or...better yet, the rest of the words?   




Chris Astle   




P.M.S.   Happy Holidays ! !   :-)

Anybody? Paula suggests the Four Bitchin' Babes. Or whoever did the "There's Viagra in the water" song [who was that?]? The DT has Santa Pause, which might be what Chris is looking for (if he heard it wrong).

Haruo


25 Dec 03 - 08:33 PM (#1079933)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: mg

well Susan Lewis of Rebel Voices wrote something called this might be the last time...mg


25 Dec 03 - 08:38 PM (#1079937)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: GUEST

WYSIWYG,

Are you really that old?


25 Dec 03 - 09:19 PM (#1079945)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: wysiwyg

yes!

~S~


25 Dec 03 - 09:22 PM (#1079948)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: katlaughing

Libana's Fire Within cd has good stuff on it.


25 Dec 03 - 10:28 PM (#1079974)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: Mark Clark

Not sure who you have in mind but you deffinately should check out Saffire - the uppity blues women. You'll be glad you did.

      - Mark


26 Dec 03 - 01:11 PM (#1080307)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: GUEST

" A womb with a view, and you....."


26 Dec 03 - 05:27 PM (#1080434)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: freda underhill

here is another menopause blues (poem)

The Menopause Blues

You may think I'm old and I'm wrinkly,
My body's a terrible state.
My hair's going grey, I suppose you might say,
I'm well past my 'Best Before Date'.

I think that my hearing is muffled,
I know that my teeth are all plastic.
I'm blind as a bat, but I'm grateful for that -
The view in the mirror's less drastic.

I'm obeying the old law of gravity,
And if it commands me much more,
I'll have rucksacks for eyes, boobs down to my thighs
And my buttocks will drag on the floor.

At aerobics I'd drown out the music,
With that Godawful cracking and creaking,
And I'd just feel like shit if I tried to 'keep fit',
My joints would protest with loud squeaking.

I'm not into jogging or swimming,
It's too much like strenuous toil,
My body won't take it: I can't even fake it
With gallons of 3-in-one oil.

But before you throw me on the scrap-heap,
Or have me put down by the vet.
Just wait, hold the zimmer. There might be a glimmer
Of hope for the old baggage yet.

There's a lot to be said for experience,
It wasn't all trouble and strife.
Just let me have fun with somebody's son,
And I'll soon spring back into life.

I could do with a nice little toy-boy,
I'd teach him a lesson or two.
Or perhaps three or four, then maybe some more,
Let's see what an old girl can do.

I've learned quite a lot in my lifetime,
Like how to be free and inventive,
The physical jerks would themselves be the perks,
Now that's what I call incentive.

As much as I've gained in endurance,
In exchange, I've lost inhibitions.
I'm raring to go and show what I know,
For hours, without intermissions.

Or maybe I'll go for an old one,
A 'dirty' old man, I just might.
So long as he's clean, and I know where he's been,
And he brings his own box of Yeast-Vite.

Though he might be a little bit slower,
At least he'd have more staying powers.
Though he may be wizened, once it has risen
He could possibly go on for hours.

An older man might have his drawbacks,
No hair, a loose denture that chatters.
But while he's not flagging, I won't mind him sagging
So long as it's not where it matters.

But having said that, on reflection,
A young stud sounds much more appealing.
And if he's too fast, and can't make it last,
I'll cry out "Now once more with feeling".

When I was younger I worried,
About morals too numerous to mention.
Someone who's older can be so much bolder,
And stuff all that pointless convention.

My creative streak has run riot,
There are no longer rules to the game.
I can play how I like and become an old bike,
Who cares if I get a bad name.

When I was young I was pretty,
I had men lined up in a queue.
But I sent them away, too frightened to play,
Sex was something that 'nice' girls don't do.

Then later on I got married,
And sex was a matter of course.
Once it was duty it lost all it's beauty,
To regain it I filed for divorce.

But sexual power is fleeting,
Before you know it, it's lost.
Who wants to be naughty with frumpy at 40?
I'm now finding out to my cost.

I'm left with a bit of a problem,
Now I'm ready, geared up for the kill.
Outside of the blind, it's so hard to find,
At my age, a lover who WILL.

To any young woman who'll listen,
I'd say without shadow of doubt.
Have fun and rejoice in your freedom of choice,
Or else you might find you've missed out.

Copyright; Stephanie Harness

ps i'm now post menopausal - it all happened pretty quickly. and I have found it the most enjoyable part of my life so far. No more moods like roller coasters or PMT. i'm not taking hormones, so far my body seems to be functioning pretty much as it used to (minus the monthly visitor, who I was so glad to say goodbye to a couple of years ago.

fred


27 Dec 03 - 02:45 PM (#1080534)
Subject: Lyr Add: Here Comes Menopause
From: Haruo

(Posted in the Help Forum while the Cat was Down):
From: Haruo
Date: 26-Dec-03 - 11:00 PM

Well, what I wanted to do was post the lyrics to "Here Comes Menopause" I had recently queried about:

Here are the lyrics as posted in a Hepatitis C discussion forum (URL: http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Hepatitis/messages/C35752-25.html and scroll down a ways):
"HERE COMES MENOPAUSE"
(Sung to the tune of "Here comes Santa Claus")
Note: song originally sung and perhaps written by Cahal Dunne:
See cahaldunne.com

Here comes menopause,
Here comes menopause,
Right down menopause lane.
Up with the blankets,
Down with the blankets,
Hot flashes night and day.
Who's the stranger screaming at me,
standing in my house.
No one ever told me
P M S meant PUNISH MY SPOUSE.

"Here comes menopause,
I love menopause
Here comes menopause
whoopee! menopause" *
     *(sung by ladies chorus in backround)
It's hormonal, not eternal
It's the change of life.
Spare me all your medical bull,
Just give me back my wife.
She's plucking – shaving—waxing
Like she's never done before.
I'm sharing all her prozac now
Cause life's just one big bore.

"Here comes menopause
Kegel exercises
Here comes menopause
(Peed my pantyhose)"*
     *(sung by ladies in backround)
Why is menopause
not called womenpause
HEY it's not our fault.
She wants a backrub,
I need whiskey
We're like sugar and salt.
They say someday she'll be back,
Just like she was before.
But sex has long gone out the window,
Old age is at the door.

**"Here comes menopause,
Here comes menopause,
Right down menopause lane.
Up with the blankets,
Down with the blankets,
Hot flashes night and day.
Who's the stranger screaming at me,
Standing in my house.
No one ever told me
P M S meant PUNISH MY SPOUSE."
     **(This final section sung in unison by men's chorus.)

The " * " (beginning second and third stanza) could all be:

Here comes menopause,
Here comes menopause,
Right down menopause lane.

Kim
Thanks, Kim, whoever you are.

Haruo


28 Dec 03 - 12:34 AM (#1080796)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson

I am sick of all the bad rap men get.

Why not call it "womenopause"?

It's actually more appropriate.


28 Dec 03 - 05:48 AM (#1080838)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: John MacKenzie

Jumping Hot Flush by the Rolling stones, apparently Jacks gone off!!
John


29 Dec 03 - 03:57 AM (#1081375)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: Liz the Squeak

Menopause, Mental illness, Menstruation....

Notice how most problems begin with men....


LTS


29 Dec 03 - 04:54 AM (#1081391)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: John MacKenzie

That is why the normal description for persons ons of the non male gender, is woman. This being a corruption of the old Norse "Woe to man"
John...Sits back and waits for flack.;-)>


29 Dec 03 - 07:39 AM (#1081425)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: Jeanie

Ho, ho John....but, woe is me, await the arrival of the Valkyries, in retaliation ;-)

"man" originally meant "adult human being of either gender". The distinction was made, in Old Germanic, between a gom-man (male) and a wif-man (female).

Men were originally "gooms". A "bridegroom", for instance, was originally called a "brideGOOM" (a bride's man). Once the word "goom" had disappeared from the language, the letter "r" was added by analogy with the word "groom".

Eeh, bah goom - it's true, lad (or, should I say, goom) !

- jeanie


29 Dec 03 - 08:17 AM (#1081442)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: Pied Piper

Bowie's "Changes"
PP


29 Dec 03 - 08:44 AM (#1081452)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: wysiwyg

Goombah!

~S~


29 Dec 03 - 12:19 PM (#1081581)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson

Storekeeper! Estrogen for Everybody!


29 Dec 03 - 12:38 PM (#1081596)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: Kim C

GUEST, a woman doesn't have to be THAT old for menopause to start. I'm only 36 and am already having some pre-menopausal happenings. I've read I could endure them for 10-15 years before I actually hit menopause. Isn't that fun?!!!?


29 Dec 03 - 12:50 PM (#1081602)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson

It sounds rather dry to me.


29 Dec 03 - 01:44 PM (#1081636)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: GUEST,saff

I suppose the menopause misery women have to suffer replaces the
P M T misery that men have had to suffer at the hands of women,
as in the Martin Nesbitt song the P M T RAP.

I got married to a woman with a real bad monthly temper
She rants and she raves, from January to December
I asked her once "Whats wrong with you,why do you always start on
me"?
She curled her lip and snarled, and she said P M T

Shes a mean and wicked woman with a sharp and vicious tounge
That bloodshot glazed look in her eye, tells me its time to run
And if I try to calm her down, its a total waste of time
She turns into a female Tyson, a real life Frankenstein.

Chorus
Yelling and screaming and throwing things around
Pots and clocks and furniture, broken on the ground
Banging and crashing, her face a twisted scowl
and when she turns to pick on me, do not hang around
cos I run, and I hide, cos I get scared, shes bloody wild

A month ago on monday, she hit me with a brick
I spent a week in hospital and three weeks on the sick
I thought that I might change her if I threatened I would leave her
She kicked my leg and bit me and chased me with a cleaver
(and she was)
Chorus

I admit she has her good points, in fact she has a few
and if you get to meet her, maybe you might like her too
Be careful what you say to her, in case you might upset her
Im told that by late middle age, the change will make things better
And if you get to meet her, don't you tell her what I said
For you can guarantee one fine day, I will wake up dead
And standing by my body with blood dripping from a knife
Will be that snarling monthly pain, my P M T life of a wife.
(and she'll be)
Chorus


29 Dec 03 - 03:21 PM (#1081720)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson

Great lyrics, but my wife will kill me if I show it to her.


29 Dec 03 - 04:15 PM (#1081756)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: Herga Kitty

I heard a great song in the Endeavour at Whitby Folk Week in August, to the tune of Clementine. The chorus went something like, Menopausal, menopausal, menopause has done for me, and my hormones need replacing menopause has done for me. The verses record increasingly severe levels of decrepitude (including lost limbs) which the doctor, when consulted, invariably attributes to the menopause...

Kitty


29 Dec 03 - 04:55 PM (#1081786)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: GUEST,saff

Martin would she kill you because shes menopausal or is            
   it that time of the month or is she naturally a "mean and
   wicked woman with a sharp and vicious tounge".


29 Dec 03 - 05:14 PM (#1081802)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson

Definately the latter


30 Dec 03 - 05:37 AM (#1082214)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: GUEST,saff

Do you think PAUSE is the wrong word?


30 Dec 03 - 03:17 PM (#1082608)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: Art Thieme

ON FOLK LEGACY---Lucy Simpson singing "Time Has Made A Change In Me". (sriously) Check with Sandy.

On another note: menopause has made me see women more positively than before. I never, ever could trust something that'd bleed that long and not die. ;-)   But now...

Art Thieme


30 Dec 03 - 03:26 PM (#1082618)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: wysiwyg

LOL!

~S~


30 Dec 03 - 10:44 PM (#1082925)
Subject: RE: Music for Menopause
From: dick greenhaus

And there's always "Flash Company"