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Lyr Req: …Many Pimples on a Pound of Pickled Pork

18 Dec 03 - 08:29 PM (#1075801)
Subject: Lyr Req: Pimples on a pound of pickled pork
From: Compton

Ok, Chums, help me on this one. I can't remember if Cosmotheka ever recorded this song but I could do with the words of anyone knows them.." You can't get many pimples on a pound of pickled pork". Tried the DT and Google. I remember Chas and Dave singing in one of their medleys but is there anyone out there that "does it" (there usually is!)
Thanks


18 Dec 03 - 08:35 PM (#1075805)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Pimples on a pound of pickled pork
From: Sorcha

Found on a 'pickled goose'....

Pimples on a Pound of Pickled Goose
banjo song
(stolen from mark twain)
uncle leuschner: vocals, bantar
chris complex: euphonium
chjad: drums


(as sung by uncle leuschner)
When you want genuine music
music that will come right home
to you like a bad quarter,
suffuse your system like strychnine whisky,
go through your body like Brandreth's pills,
ramify your whole constitution
like the measles
break out on your hide like the pimples on a pickled goose,
when you want all this,
just smash your piano,
and invoke the glory-be
banjo!


I played the Euphonium in the marines
Played it in the Egyptian army
I played it down in Israel
I played it in the Suez canal
I am man who shot Anwar Sadat
I am man who killed Anwar Sadat...


http://freshsquid.com/ulcc/lyrics/banjo.htm

(as Mark Twain quipped in "Enthusiastic Eloquence,"
San Francisco Dramatic Chronicle, 6/23/1865)
When you want genuine music--music that will come right home to you like a bad quarter, suffuse your system like strychnine whisky, go right through you like Brandreth's pills, ramify your whole constitution like the measles, and break out on your hide like the pin-feather pimples on a picked goose,--when you want all this, just smash your piano, and invoke the glory-beaming banjo!


19 Dec 03 - 02:31 AM (#1075944)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Pimples on a pound of pickled pork
From: mouldy

I've got it on a tape somewhere. I will sit down and listen to it, and jot down the words for you.
I think it was Roaring Jelly that did it.

(I can remember the chorus. That'll do for a start).

You can't get many pimples on a pound of pickled pork
Whether you come from China, or from Asia Minor.
You can go to Pimlico, Chicago or New York,
but you can't find many pimples on a pound of pickled pork.

First find the tape...


Andrea


19 Dec 03 - 04:31 AM (#1075970)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Pimples on a pound of pickled pork
From: GUEST,MC Fat

Lord Kenneth Johnson of Brampton sings it. It was done by Roaring Jelly. Don't have wurds though


19 Dec 03 - 06:54 PM (#1076483)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Pimples on a pound of pickled pork
From: Compton

Thanks in anticipation, mouldy. I tried to contact Neil reed about Roaring Jelly LP (CD?) via web site but no reply to date!


20 Dec 03 - 02:21 AM (#1076684)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Pimples on a pound of pickled pork
From: mouldy

Right. I've got it all except the last line which, because it's Roaring Jelly, and a live performance, degenerates into slightly schoolboy humour. They then pull themselves together and start another chorus to finish.

I've been sent out by the missus
Just to do a bit of shopping.
In every blooming shop for pickled pork
Have I been popping.
I've been in Dunn's the hat shop
But the wife don't want a bonnet.
She wants a pound of pickled pork
With lots of pimples on it.

But

You can't get many pimples on a pound of pickled pork
Whether it comes from China
Or from Carolina
You can go to Pimlico, Chicago or New York,
But you can't get many-a pimple on a pound of pickled pork.

I stood listening down the street
At several suffragettes a-shouting.
I raised me hat and clapped me hands
Each time they started spouting.
At last I says to one old gel,
All eyes and black looks scorning
"You can get yor man, then get your vote
and get let out next morning, but...

Chorus

(Drunkenly)
When I started out this morning
I had sixpence wrapped in paper.
But I've only got three ha'pence now -
The rest has gone in a vapour.
When I get home my (silly/stupid(sic)-it's slurred)little wife
Will start the crockery flinging.

Then it goes into quite a "melange" of drunken humour, among which is half a line about the angels singing. As this rhymes, it may be part of the original!

Chorus

So there we have it as far as I can do it.

Andrea


20 Dec 03 - 11:34 AM (#1076822)
Subject: Lyr Add: ... PIMPLES ON A POUND OF PICKLED PORK
From: Long Firm Freddie

Andrea's got it pretty close.

I certainly remember Cosmotheka doing this one as well.

I found this (presumably authoritative) version in the Music Hall series by International Music Publications:

YOU CAN'T GET MANY PIMPLES ON A POUND OF PICKLED PORK

By Fred Terry

© 1914 Francis Day & Hunter Ltd

I've been sent out by the missus
Just to do a bit of shopping
In every public house for pickled pork
Have I been popping.
I've been in Dunns the hat shop,
Not to buy myself a "bonnet,"
But to get the wife some pickled pork
With lots of pimples on it.

Chorus: (NB The "But" in the first line of the chorus is dropped after verses 3 & 4)

But you can't get many pimples
On a pound of pickled pork
Whether it comes from China,
Japan or Carolina;
You can go to Pimlico,
Chicago or New York,
But you can't get many pimples on a pound of pickled pork.

I stopp'd list'ning down the street
Where sev'ral suffragettes were shouting;
I raised my hat and clapped my hands
Each time they started spouting.
At last I said to one old girl,
All thoughts of black eyes scorning,
"You can get a vote, then get a month,
Then get let out next morning

When I started out this morning
I had sixpence wrapped in paper.
I've only got three ha'pence now
The rest has gone in "vapour."
When I get home I'm sure the wife
Will start her crockery slinging.
It's ten to one she kill me,
Then I'll hear the angels singing

I went into Crosse and Blackwell's,
But they made me feel so silly;
The nearest thing to pickled pork
They'd got was "piccalilli."
The manager of Selfridge's
Said, "Try the lace department."
But the lady said, as she dug me
In my "Third class compartment"


20 Dec 03 - 12:36 PM (#1076853)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Pimples on a pound of pickled pork
From: Billy Weeks

This was sung originally by music hall comedian Ernie Mayne. He recorded it on Winner 2680 in 1914/15 (a 78 of course, but no doubt, by now, transferred by someone to CD). He had a wonderfully 'ignorant' voice (sorry, I can't think of a better way to describe it) that often managed to be suggestive in ways that don't always come over on the page. E.g:

Goosey Goosey Gander
That was the song that I was singing
Goosey Goosey Gander
Whither shall I wander?
Upstairs, downstairs,
Somebody shouted 'Danger!'
So I rushed off with my goosey goose
Into a lady's chamber.

The first place to look for the origin of songs like this (as I keep on boringly saying) is Michael Kilgarriff's 'Sing Us One of the Old songs', 1998 - THE greatest treasure house for anyone seeking information on music hall songs (or music hall-related songs).


20 Dec 03 - 02:09 PM (#1076895)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Pimples on a pound of pickled pork
From: Compton

Thanks all..another impressive response to all!


21 Dec 03 - 02:26 AM (#1077224)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Pimples on a pound of pickled pork
From: mouldy

As I said before, mine is a live performance, with all its "nuances"!

I'm glad the "proper" version has turned up.

Andrea


21 Dec 03 - 07:32 PM (#1077502)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Pimples on a pound of pickled pork
From: Compton

To Billy (Weeks)..This "Bible"..Like the idea, but £40 - £60 seems a bit high (yes I know it's 800= pages. Does it have music notation as well??


22 Dec 03 - 12:21 PM (#1077802)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Pimples on a pound of pickled pork
From: Billy Weeks

Ah, no! It'snot a songbook but a multiply cross-indexed-index.   But for tracking down songs (of this type), their original singers, songwriters, publishers, published titles, dates etc, there's nothing so far to beat it. The original cover price (OUP) in 1998 was £35, which I think is not bad- and I believe it is still in print. Iincidentally, Kilgarriff has a web site carrying regular additions and corrections.

Cheaper still, if you are in UK (I don't know how things work in the States) insist that one of your local public libraries adds it to their reference shelf.

If you like this kindof daft song, you really must hear Ernie Mayne some time! Not much of him on modern CDs, but his time will come.


12 Mar 04 - 02:04 PM (#1134964)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Pimples on a pound of pickled pork
From: GUEST,Dave Wilkins

I remember this song very well as it was a family favourite sung to me by my Mum at our South London flat in the late 50's. I have since kept up this tradition and my two 4 year old grandchildren now sing it!

You won't find many pimples on a pound of pickled pork
Whether you come from China, Spain or Carolina
You can go to Pimilico, Chicago or New York
But you wont find many pimples on a pound of pickled pork


29 Apr 15 - 07:56 AM (#3705143)
Subject: Lyr Add: YOU CAN'T GET MANY PIMPLES ON A POUND ...
From: GUEST,Andy

YOU CAN'T GET MANY PIMPLES ON A POUND OF PICKLED PORK
Words and music by Fred E. Terry, ©1914
As recorded by Ernie Mayne (1871-1937)

1. I've been sent out by the missis just to do a bit of shopping.
In every blessed shop for pickled pork have I been popping.
I've been in Dansy's hat-shop, but the wife don't want a bonnet.
She wants a pound of pickled pork with lots of pimples on it.

CHORUS: Well, you can't get many pimples on a pound of pickled pork,
Whether it comes from China,
Japan or Carolina.
You can go to Pimlico, Chicago or New York,
But you can't get many pimples on a pound of pickled pork.

2. I stood listening down the street at several suffragettes a-shouting.
I raised me hat and flapped me hands each time they started spouting.
At last I said to one old girl, all thoughts of black eyes scorning,
'Now you can get a vote, then get a man, then get let out next morning.'

CHORUS: Ah, but you can't....

3. When I started out this morning, I had sixpence wrapped in paper.
I've only got three-ha'pence now; the rest has gone in vapour.
When I get home, I'm sure the wife will start her crockery flinging.
It's ten to one she'll kill me, then I'll hear the angels singing:

CHORUS: You can't get many pa-himples on a pa-hound of pa-hickled pa-hork....


29 Apr 15 - 10:10 AM (#3705159)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Pimples on a pound of pickled pork
From: GUEST,#

http://monologues.co.uk/musichall/Songs-Y/You-Cant-Get-Many-Pimples.htm


02 Aug 18 - 07:33 AM (#3941042)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Pimples on a pound of pickled pork
From: GUEST

I have just found out from my dad that my Great Grandad used to perform with Charlie Chaplin as part of the Fred Karno troupe.
According to my dad, he wrote the lyrics to this as well as some others too. He remembers seeing him writing ideas on the inside of a cigarette packet while he was working and he used to sing to them all the time! He supposedly also wrote; Why is the Bacon so Tough and The Beautiful Poison (which I can't find any record of!) And I Can't Do My Bally Bottom Button up although he thinks he just used to perform the last one and didn't necessarily write it.
When he wasn't performing with the Fred Karno Troupe - he was a butcher so that's why the lyrics have references to meat!
Trying to research to find out how true this is but struggling as my Great Grandad probably had a stage name ??