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02 Apr 04 - 02:28 PM (#1152940) Subject: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Little Hawk You won't believe it. The horror! The horror! the total, horrible truth about Penguin Lust!!! |
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02 Apr 04 - 02:34 PM (#1152949) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: freda underhill i hope brucie doesn't come across this thread.. |
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02 Apr 04 - 02:35 PM (#1152952) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Peace I have got to get my breath back. This will definitely be censored. Glad I saw it before it is erased. Whew. Tabloid heading and all. I need my meds. |
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02 Apr 04 - 02:53 PM (#1152966) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Rapparee Why do you suppose Little Hawk was searching for this sort of material? And why does he feel a need to share it? Could it be that he...he...is...a....I can't bring myself to even think that Little Hawk...could be a...a...one of those! |
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02 Apr 04 - 03:03 PM (#1152978) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Ebbie I rather doubt that, Rapaire. I think it's far more likely that Little Hawk is cruising there out of a more immediate interest. I suspect he is looking for a meal. Oh, the horror! |
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02 Apr 04 - 03:09 PM (#1152984) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Peace Yes, the true heart of darkness. |
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02 Apr 04 - 03:17 PM (#1152999) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Little Hawk I am deeply concerned about this, people, and I thought everyone should know. Even now we have an anonymous GUEST attempting to stir up a hornet's nest over Bob Dylan's appearing in a Victoria's Secret TV ad while Penguin Lust smoulders on the streets and in the bedrooms of the nation! I hope that George Bush siezes the bull by the horns and takes appropriate and decisive action to clean up the whole sordid mess. For the full expose on Penguin Lust, be sure to press on beyond the introductory screens, which have been censored in order to protect youngsters and Republicans. |
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02 Apr 04 - 05:14 PM (#1153124) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: John MacKenzie That's really put the cat among the penguins now! John |
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02 Apr 04 - 05:36 PM (#1153147) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: GUEST,I'm not telling They do seem to be everywhere, don't they. Warning now they're getting (a)cross so that's what they're up to! |
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02 Apr 04 - 07:06 PM (#1153214) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Dead Horse I think Joe Clone should remove those links before mudcat is banned for soliciting porn. I have not worn my penguin suit in years for that very reason. |
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02 Apr 04 - 10:15 PM (#1153294) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: GUEST,Some good advice... Don't open links posted by unidentified Guests. You know not where they may lead. |
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03 Apr 04 - 12:52 AM (#1153353) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: LadyJean Tsk tsk tsk! Penguin porn! I'm shocked and stunned! shocked and stunned! |
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03 Apr 04 - 04:38 AM (#1153420) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Liz the Squeak I have a weird craving for an ice cube and some herring.... LTS |
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03 Apr 04 - 10:14 AM (#1153549) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Rapparee I find it hard to believe that Little Hawk isn't so deeply involved in (shudder!) pengy lust that he's missed this song: Penguin Lust Consider the penguin relaxing in slumber, all snug in his bed on a cold winter's night: his cares are forgotten now; nothing encumbers his avian dreams of exquisite delight ... He's dreaming of flying on gossamer wings, of drowsing on sun-dappled tropical beaches, debating philosophers, poets, and kings who listen in awe to the wisdom he teaches; of singing La Scala by public demand; of waking next morning well rested and tanned ... But then with a start he awakes to discover that penguins don't have fairy godmothers yet; instead, he has sisters who look like their brothers and a stunning physique he would sooner forget. He glides like a brick floating over the ocean; there's snow in his undershorts, ice on his tail, a voice that makes cats wonder "what's the commotion?" and the vast erudition of J. Danforth Quayle. In fact, on considering, life is so vile, there's only one thing that makes living worthwhile: it's penguin lust! Penguin lust! It's a penguin's hope and faith and trust. It's a penguin's only credo: underneath that black tuxedo lurks a fiery libido driven to exceed -- it's penguin lust! Penguin lust, reacting to a world that's so unjust! But somewhere in that wild defiance lurks the hope that someday, science will invent some new appliance that will help him fly ... that's penguin lust. Consider the penguin in search of his dinner, consulting the menu at Top of the Mark: observe that his waistline is not getting thinner eating polar bear potage or filet of shark. His vices are legend, his lusts are perverse; he cannot be sated, nor ever contented. His taste runs the gamut from awful to worse: all sorts of depravity not yet invented. His immoral appetite knows no restraint; it makes senators ill and evangelists faint: it's penguin lust! Penguin lust! Makes strong men cringe and shudder with disgust! It's so vile that if you're in it, God may strike you down this minute. There should be a law agin' it -- it's a mortal sin; it's penguin lust! Penguin lust! His psyche's far too twisted to adjust! His immodesty upstages vices awful to outrageous -- I sure hope it ain't contagious... Nothing can assuage it, penguin lust! No, nothing can assuage it, penguin lust! © Copyright 1992, Elton Wildermuth (does this qualify this thread for Above The Salt status?) |
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03 Apr 04 - 12:15 PM (#1153606) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: JohnInKansas I haven't seen anything like this since my research on "debt slaves" in the US went astray (don't use "bondage" as a search key!!!). John |
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03 Apr 04 - 12:56 PM (#1153626) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Little Hawk Good Lord! That is one amazing song lyric, and I never knew of it till today. Thanks, Rapaire! |
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03 Apr 04 - 04:27 PM (#1153715) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Rapparee Oh, HORRORS! What have I done? Oh, woe is me, for I fear the I have sunk poor Little Hawk even more deeply into the morass of penguin lust! Can no one save him? But, yes! If we all work together I think that we just might save Little Hawk from Penguin Lust! First, send me a voluntary contribution (PM me for the address, cash only) and then close your eyes real tight and say, "I do believe in fai..." oops, I mean "Save Little Hawk!" |
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03 Apr 04 - 04:43 PM (#1153718) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Little Hawk LOL! Rapaire, you have no shame. I always liked the character Opus, in Bloom County. He was forever trapped in a miasma of penguin lust, but was afraid to show it. |
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03 Apr 04 - 05:53 PM (#1153755) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: GUEST,Puffin If you type "penguin porn" into Google you get 52,900 results. |
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03 Apr 04 - 06:01 PM (#1153762) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Little Hawk What???? You gotta be kidding. How many of those actually have anything to do with penguins? |
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03 Apr 04 - 06:14 PM (#1153773) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Peace GUEST,Puffin: You have my eternal thanks. |
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03 Apr 04 - 07:23 PM (#1153813) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Rapparee I had shame, but we were so poor when I was growing up that I sold it to buy a crust of moldy bread for my mother, who was ill. She took the crust in her loving hands, hands that had worked themselves raw sewing shirts in the sweatshop so that her children might have a better life than she had had, coughed up a little blood (and bits of thread), looked at me, her first-born, through her slowly dimming eyes, and said, "What the hell is this? This is it?" |
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03 Apr 04 - 07:33 PM (#1153821) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Little Hawk Well, that's quite a story. I hope that the Twillingsgate gentry get to read it, thus instilling in them a sense of compassion for the downtrodden and wretched of the Earth. |
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04 Apr 04 - 05:56 AM (#1154020) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Gareth Hmmm ! Could "little Hawk" be a "Little Auk" in drag ? Gareth |
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04 Apr 04 - 07:04 AM (#1154051) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: freda underhill it was a light and freezing day as i wandered onto the ice delirious, dizzy and reeling in some fish, all tasty and nice i saw a sanguine penguin waddling, flirtatiously it came and gazed unto my eyes and hopped onto my knee it was a moment beyond preconception as her little arms did flutter my beating heart was throbbing hard as little sounds she uttered i was about to grab her and stab her with a fork to punctuate her feathered soul to sautee here with pork when in wandered a tall and slender man dark eyed and nostrils flaring he lassood her with a golden rope and rescued her with daring he turned and strode across the ice with the penguin on his arm i watched, as they wandered onwards into the evening calm and crimson streaked across the sky like my bereft and bleeding heart while the penguin thumbed its nose at me and said "piss off, old fart" my tears were hot and sizzled deep in the cracking, crumbling snow my feet crunched in the frozen ice it was time to turn, and go. from The Rhyme of the Ancient Marinator. ps, send $5 for penguin recipes, c/o freda underhill, mudcat cafe. |
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04 Apr 04 - 11:40 AM (#1154143) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Peace Hey, this kinky stuff has to stop. I don't think it's right for humans to EAT penguins. What kinda people ARE you? |
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04 Apr 04 - 11:44 AM (#1154148) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Peace Samuel Taylor, eat your heart out. But not the penguins. Lightly saute in . . . . |
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04 Apr 04 - 01:49 PM (#1154225) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Jeanie Calling all penguin fanciers !! Have a look at the "World Rat Day" thread for details I have discovered about "International Penguin Day", happening at the end of April. Get the details here and celebrate ! - jeanie |
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04 Apr 04 - 02:43 PM (#1154264) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: McGrath of Harlow Penguins do not taste at all good, fortunately, unless you are a leopard seal. (Or unless they are chocolate bars.) |
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04 Apr 04 - 06:57 PM (#1154392) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Strick Aubrey and Maturin used to salt them down... |
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04 Apr 04 - 10:38 PM (#1154508) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Rapparee It goes back to my First Law of Cooking: Nontoxic in, nontoxic out. I understand that penguins are oily and taste fishy. Eating them won't kill ya, but! |
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05 Apr 04 - 12:11 AM (#1154546) Subject: RE: BS: Penguin Lust...hideous truth revealed!!! From: Bee-dubya-ell Penguins taste better than coots, but that's only because anything tastes better than coots. |
