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08 Apr 04 - 10:05 PM (#1157678) Subject: Music for Healing and Transition From: CarolC This is from another forum that I'm a member of. It struck me as being something that people everywhere could benefit from at one time or another. I asked the person who posted it for permission to post it here, and he graciously gave it. At the end is a link to an organization that has a program in which people do this sort of thing for others. I think it's pretty amazing: "There isn't really much to the story, but it was the first time I was present at someone's death and I found it a remarkable experience. Rosemary was eighty two years old when she died a short while ago and I had known her for over twenty. She used to own the small property we bought a year and a half ago and she rented an apartment from us. Just before Christmas she told us that she felt her heart was getting weaker and she didn't think it would keep going for much longer. For a number of weeks after that she would invite friends over to say their goodbyes and we would see them leaving with gifts of her personal belongings..books. paintings..CDs....photographs......"everyone is saying goodbye but noone is talking about it" she said laughing. One thing she really liked was having musician friends come over and 'practice' at her place during the daytime to keep her company, so each day my wife and I were lucky enough to hear Bach or Brahms or whomever, played on the cello, piano, violin or whatever as we had lunch. "Don't forget Saturday morning you two, we're having the quintet over to play the Schubert" she said. The trout quintet was her favorite piece of music. On friday my wife and I had to go away for the day and didn't know untill we came home in the evening that Rosemary had had a heart attack that morning and was unconscious, so a bunch of us stayed up with her over night. Next morning, five friends arrived all dressed in tuxedoes and with their instruments, started to set up in the living room to play Schubert's Trout while Rosemary did her part in the next room. This may seem strange to most folks, but knowing Rosemary as well as we all did, there wasn't one of us who thought that she would want it any other way. A few of us were with Rosemary as the music started. Then a few minutes into the recital the phone rang so I went to answer it and stayed by it so there would be no more interuptions. When I went back to Rosemary's room after the music ended forty minutes later, she had changed. Literaly, as the musicians were leaving, her breathing stopped, and over the next fifteen minutes or so her pulse got weaker and faded. So seven of us stood round her bed, each with a glass of Cognac, and we toasted to Rosemary. I don't know how many ways there are of dying with dignity but this was definitely one of them. Not only in the dying itself, but also in the time spent prepairing for it. A few days before she died Rosemary was in high spirits and joined in on the heavy laughter and fun. When her carer said to her, "Rosemary, do you think you should be getting so excited?", she laughed and said, "I'm dying! Let me laugh". That was Rosemary." The Music for Healing and Transition Program |
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08 Apr 04 - 10:25 PM (#1157691) Subject: RE: Music for Healing and Transition From: Lonesome EJ Thank you for that story, Carol. I wish I could have met your Rosemary. |
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08 Apr 04 - 10:43 PM (#1157698) Subject: RE: Music for Healing and Transition From: CarolC Thanks Lonesome EJ. I should probably point out that, although she sounds like someone I would have loved to meet, I did not know Rosemary. She was a friend of someone who posts to another forum of which I'm a member. I borrowed his words for this thread (with his permission) because I was very moved and somehow comforted by them. I wanted to share them with the people here in this forum, along with the link to the Music for Healing and Transition site. |
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08 Apr 04 - 10:48 PM (#1157701) Subject: RE: Music for Healing and Transition From: CarolC Here's some information from the MHTP site: "The founders of MHTP had a clear vision as to the purpose of the program. MHTP's objectives are charitable and educational, which include: Serving the critically ill and dying with live music to promote healing or assisting in the life/death transition; Providing the same service to all those for whom it is of benefit; Teaching the practice of this service; Establishing programs and centers for service and education at various locations; Publishing information, research findings and other material concerning the service; Developing affiliations with healing, charitable and educational organizations where this service may be given and learned." |
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08 Apr 04 - 11:12 PM (#1157717) Subject: RE: Music for Healing and Transition From: Art Thieme Simply beautiful. For some reason it reminds me of the gentle way Gerry Armstrong passed. I think I'll resurrect that thread so those who want to can look in there. Thanks, Carol. Art Thieme |
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09 Apr 04 - 12:42 AM (#1157771) Subject: RE: Music for Healing and Transition From: katlaughing Thanks, Carol, that is a beautiful story and I hope each of us can be so ready and accomodated when our time comes. kat |
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09 Apr 04 - 12:15 PM (#1157883) Subject: RE: Music for Healing and Transition From: CarolC You're welcome, Art and katlaughing. |
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09 Apr 04 - 06:53 PM (#1158279) Subject: RE: Music for Healing and Transition From: AllisonA(Animaterra) I've gone to the MHTP and asked to subscribe- what wonderful work they do! Thanks for the link and the beautiful story, Carol, Allison |
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10 Apr 04 - 09:44 PM (#1158955) Subject: RE: Music for Healing and Transition From: CarolC You're welcome, Allison. I'm glad you've done that. It is indeed wonderful work that they do. |