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BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!

03 May 04 - 06:26 PM (#1177200)
Subject: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Little Hawk

Read all about this horrific penguin attack at:

You won't believe it! It's so awful! EEEK!!!


03 May 04 - 06:36 PM (#1177206)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Amos

I think the origin and quality of your information is suspect. You do know how easy it is to fake pencil drawings, don't you?

A


03 May 04 - 06:37 PM (#1177207)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: GUEST,Pingu

You were warned and chose not to heed. This is only the start. We will take over the World. Join us while you have time. Everything floats down here.


03 May 04 - 06:40 PM (#1177211)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Little Hawk

It figures. There we were, smacking the Pingu around heedlessly, not considering the moral implications. Then we started dismembering the little guys with that spiked club and blowing them up in the most hideous fashion. Our DOOM has now come upon us. Australia was only the beginning.


03 May 04 - 06:43 PM (#1177214)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Amos

Thanks, Pingu. I know where you come from. I know who you really are. This foolish pretense will only lead you to the same fate that met the freds, BubbaBubba and the other alien entities dreamed up by the tortured mind of your Author...namely, total marginalization in all dimensions!!

A


03 May 04 - 06:45 PM (#1177218)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Peace

But what will we DO? AAAAAAAHHHHHH.


03 May 04 - 06:50 PM (#1177222)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Amos

Go suck a throat lozenge, I reckon...


03 May 04 - 06:52 PM (#1177224)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Little Hawk

Other fools have scoffed in the face of doom, Amos. Don't think that your childish levity will save you from this waddling horror.


03 May 04 - 06:53 PM (#1177225)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: freda underhill

eek! help!!


03 May 04 - 06:55 PM (#1177228)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Amergin

Oh boy...I hope the future bride and our unborn child are ok....Has anyont heard form our Ozzie catters? I hope they're all right...

I hope the penguin doesn't come here to Oregon....but if it decides to take out California, Texas, or Washington, DC...that will be ok...


03 May 04 - 06:56 PM (#1177230)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Little Hawk

And Las Vegas and LA too.


03 May 04 - 07:31 PM (#1177264)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Peace

It's horrid. aaaaaaahhhhhh

Good idea, Amos.


03 May 04 - 10:12 PM (#1177386)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Rapparee

What does "Devastates" mean? Is that some sort of thing you go into when you hear music from India?


03 May 04 - 11:09 PM (#1177414)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Joybell

We're safe so far. We did see strange search lights in the sky a few nights ago. Rather like the beams from the monster's eyes, come to think of it. We have a penguin suit, I kid you not! so we will be able to infiltrate the ranks if there is an army of them. Will get a message through some how. Don't worry. We've a good supply of fish. Joy


03 May 04 - 11:36 PM (#1177426)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: GUEST,freda

I'm typing this from the 127th floor of a building in the city. I can see out the window across the horizon. There is a huge dark shape moving towards the harbour bridge - oops, theres a smashing sound - the lights have just gone in my building and the alarm is..


03 May 04 - 11:51 PM (#1177430)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: LadyJean

Could the Hairy Ghoulie of Cleckie that was on the mudcat last summer defeat this feathered fiend?


04 May 04 - 12:36 PM (#1177499)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Little Hawk

And the Penguin advances, trampling entire city blocks and scattering the hapless citizens of Oz in all directions! Where will it all end???


04 May 04 - 12:40 PM (#1177503)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: GUEST,Pingu

It will end when we are afforded with the respect we deserve. Your world is about to be rocked. Eat plenty of krill won't you? It will make you more to our taste.


04 May 04 - 01:07 PM (#1177531)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: John MacKenzie

I prefer the penguins on Philip Island, they wouldn't attack Freda.
John


04 May 04 - 01:24 PM (#1177545)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Chief Chaos

Holy Guano Batman!
Yes Robin, it seems our arch-foe the Penguin is up to his evil tricks again.
But what can we do against a giant penguin Batman?
We'll feed his dimensions into the bat computer and see what comes up.
                                                   
Bat click-click-click-bat-whirr-bat click-bat hummmm-bat chuck a chuck a chuck achuck - bat ripppp!

Bat hmmmm!
Well, what does the bat computer have to say Batman?
It bat suggests that we use the bat ray at 350 degrees for every ten pounds of penguin, garnished with carrots and red potatoes with a nice bat white wine or bat zinfandel!

Holy recipes Batman!
Yes, quite Robin!


04 May 04 - 01:26 PM (#1177550)
Subject: Lyr Add: ANDERSON'S COAST (John Warner)
From: freda underhill

ANDERSON'S COAST
John Warner

1. Now Bass Strait roars like a great mill race,
And where are you, me Annie?
And the same moon shines on this lonely place
As shone one day on me Annie's face.

CHORUS: But Annie dear, don't wait for me.
I fear I shall not return to thee.
There's naught to do but endure my fate
And watch the moon, the lonely moon
Light the breakers on wild Bass Strait.

2. We stole a vessel and all her gear,
And where are you, me Annie?
And from Van Diemen's we north did steer
Till Bass Strait's wild waves wrecked us here. CHORUS

3. We fled the lash and the chafing chain,
And where are you, me Annie?
We fled hard labour and brutal pain
And here we are, and here remain. CHORUS

4. We hail no ships, though the time it drags,
And where are you, me Annie?
Our chain-gang walk and government rags
All mark us out as Van Diemen's lags. CHORUS

5. And somewhere west Port Melbourne lies,
And where are you, me Annie?
Through swamps infested with snakes and flies.
The fool who walks there surely dies. CHORUS

a beautiful song to sing to the Penguins on Philip Island, Bass Strait..


04 May 04 - 01:47 PM (#1177566)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: JohnInKansas

?? I don't get it ??

That was Shatner in a chicked suit? No???

John


04 May 04 - 03:31 PM (#1177664)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: John MacKenzie

Freda that is a lovely song, any place I can find the tune? Yes we went to see the Little Penguins on Philip Island when we were over on holiday last year, they are so cute, my SO wanted to take one home. We stayed in Ryde, and had a great Mexican food meal, and Margaritas to die for.
John


04 May 04 - 03:35 PM (#1177669)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Peace

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die. The penguins are coming!


04 May 04 - 03:38 PM (#1177670)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: GUEST,amergin

oh good freda glad you're ok...I was worried that they got you last night...I heard from my partner...she's ok....just worried that the penguin will hit her area of Sydney...Where are the other sydneysiders? Have they checked in? Are they even able to or are the lines flooded with panicked calls???


04 May 04 - 05:38 PM (#1177807)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Don Firth

Stalwart hero steps into the path of the Great Colossus Penguin striding toward yet another city, the ground shaking with each of the monster's footsteps. Standing directly in its path, stalwart hero, in defiance, shouts the dreaded words, "Pluck you!!!"

(Webbed foot the size of a circus tent mashes stalwart hero flat.)

Can nothing stop this creature?

Don Firth


04 May 04 - 07:04 PM (#1177914)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Gareth

Errr ! Is it a Pingu, or a nun on steroids ?

Gareth


04 May 04 - 07:15 PM (#1177924)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: freda underhill

my building went down, i was buried in the rubble - this is the ghost of freda writing, to confound all those sceptics..

Giok, you can hear a beautiful version of that song (called Anderson's coast) on a CD by Nancy Kerr and James Fagan called Steely Water. It's also on John Warner and Margaret Walter's CD, Pithead in the Fern, which has some other great songs on it by John Warner as well, one of which i heard last night as a session at the Riverview Hotel in Balmain. It was the end of the evening, and John just played it out of the blue. we are lucky to have hime here in sydney!

best wishes

the ghost of fred


04 May 04 - 08:38 PM (#1177976)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Charley Noble

Ghost of Freda-

Good to hear that at least your muse survives.

If only Bob Bolton could have been mobilized with his bush bandits, they would have driven the beast out beyond Sydney Heads with their concertinas, fiddles, and banjos in less time than it takes to shake a fish finger. But I suppose Bob was overwelmed in the initial onslaught before he could shift out of his tie and jacket as the Oz Energy Commission headquarters came tumbling down. So sad to have seen this happen on CNN.

But what of Sandra, JennyO, JennyG, Jack Whiplash, Margaret, Chris of Canberra and the others too dear to mention?

So sad, indeed!
Charley Noble


04 May 04 - 08:56 PM (#1177989)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: GUEST,Pingu

They were delicious.


05 May 04 - 12:16 AM (#1178128)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Joybell

It's alright! We are old friends The Giant Penguin and me! You can view us on the members photo page for Joybell.
I'm the one in the canary suit. Joy


05 May 04 - 03:13 AM (#1178200)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: darkriver

I'm still trying to find the location of Austraria in the atlas.


05 May 04 - 07:52 AM (#1178368)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Charley Noble

Giant Penguin does not do spell-chek (sic)...

Charley Noble


05 May 04 - 07:55 AM (#1178371)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Tracey Dragonsfriend

If you liked that, you'll love the SpecWorld Penguins


05 May 04 - 09:04 AM (#1178412)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Sandra in Sydney

My penguins are all sitting quietly as they always do.

Should I worry?


05 May 04 - 10:16 AM (#1178472)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: JennyO

JennyO here - just surviving. It's no wonder the penguins are revolting, after that latest penguin-bashing game! Our fortress in Earlwood is just holding out, so Jack Halyard (is that who you meant, Charley?) and I are OK.

I haven't seen Bob Bolton for some time - maybe the giant penguin got him.

You will find a clip of "Andersons Coast" here

It is Margaret Walters' website. Click on CD's and scroll down to Pithead In The Fern, then click on the notes next to Anderson's Coast. It's John singing it. Lovely song!


05 May 04 - 01:17 PM (#1178671)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Chief Chaos

Forget the penguins! There seems to be a plague running about the fair folk of Mudcat. That's the fourth or fifth person that has said something about sceptic. We need the antibiotics! Maybe it's because of the penguin? But he wasn't around for the UFO thread!


05 May 04 - 01:42 PM (#1178700)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: John MacKenzie

WHY DON'T ELEPHANTS LIKE PENGUINS?
BECAUSE THE CAN'T GET THE SILVER PAPER OFF.
BOOM BOOM!!

Penguin is the name of a UK chocolate biscuit, a bit like a double choc Tim Tam.
John


05 May 04 - 08:17 PM (#1178965)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: GUEST,Pingu

What a coincidence. We have a shrimp flavoured wafer that we call a Human.


06 May 04 - 03:37 AM (#1179185)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: JennieG

So far (touch wood) all is well here in the wild western suburbs of Sydney. However there was something on the news the other day about the eclipse early in the morning - I don't think it was an eclipse at all, I reckon it was the giant penguin standing in front of the moon.

Cheers
JennieG


06 May 04 - 03:51 AM (#1179194)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Liz the Squeak

Some one said giant penguin? I'm coming to Oz, and I'm armed with scissors to get the wrapper off... none of that elephant or polar bear trouble for me!

Just you make sure it doesn't melt in all that sun!

Mind you, the idea of swimming in a chocolate lake....... Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

LTS


06 May 04 - 03:47 PM (#1179621)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Chief Chaos

Liz - was that swimming or skinnydipping? Just curious you understand?


06 May 04 - 08:12 PM (#1179860)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Joybell

JennyG, He was EATING the moon. Haven't you noticed how it's got more and more bits chewed off it since the other morning. Soon it won't be there at all. Joy


06 May 04 - 08:21 PM (#1179865)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: GUEST,Pingu

BBBBuurrpppppppppppppppp. And it don't taste of cheese.


06 May 04 - 10:18 PM (#1179940)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: GUEST

Bob Bolton .. are you okay?

concerned guest


07 May 04 - 05:32 AM (#1180108)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Shimbo Darktree

I always thought Sydneysiders were mad ... now I know the truth! (Didn't say what the truth was, did I?)

John Warner's "Anderson Coast" is a magnificent song, and about the only sane writing in this thread. I am here because I was so directed ... and I will get the one who so directed me ... are you listening, Rich-Joy?

In almost total horror,

Shimbo


07 May 04 - 07:34 AM (#1180181)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: JennieG

Oh dear Joy......what will we do if Penguin eats the moon? Does that mean my feet will no longer be hairy at the full moon, becauise there will be no full moon anymore?

However I won't cry if Penguin eats Darling Harbour. That place (with the exception of the Maritime Museum) is the pits.

Cheers
JennieG - my house is in Sydney but my heart's in the country.....


07 May 04 - 08:09 AM (#1180203)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Charley Noble

Darling Harbour threatened! Oh, no! You mean the tall-ship James Craig will be munched up, her masts and spars spat out like so many fish bones. Jack Halyard, you can't let that happen. Assemble the Wattle Street Trogs and the Pyrmont Street Flash Girls and defend this beautifully restored bark from the Giant Penguin's bite.

We may get a ballad out of this yet!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble, safe and sound 10,000 miles away


07 May 04 - 08:37 AM (#1180214)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Hrothgar

Anything that devastates Sydney can't be all bad.


07 May 04 - 11:13 AM (#1180323)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Dave Bryant

Chief Chaos - much as I like LTS - I think that the idea of her "skinny dipping" is an oxymoron - mind you I'd enjoy seeing her "well-rounded dipping".

Why not send this penguin to Hull - I'm sure it would like whelks - it might end up curried though.


07 May 04 - 11:22 AM (#1180342)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Dave Bryant

Is this in anyway connected with the "Penguin Long Lankin" thread.

Pingu - I've always liked your published collection of English Folk songs.


07 May 04 - 01:20 PM (#1180491)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: JennyO

Charley, I have alerted Jack Halyard to the imminent threat to the James Craig, and will see to it that an appropriate shanty is crafted that will drive the giant penguin away.

If he can't do it, nobody can!


07 May 04 - 01:35 PM (#1180508)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: GUEST,Pingu

JennyO       You were right second time. Nobody can. I am just warming up.

Thought I may try Queensland next.But don't go planning now, I can change my mind at the flick of a flipper. I fancy some pineapple. Heard it goes great with moon. Whelks???????? Credit me with some taste.


07 May 04 - 08:56 PM (#1180787)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: GUEST,Penny Gwin

Hello Big Boy, Forget Queensland. There's a Harvest Moon shining down here over Bass Strait. I've been waiting for your return such a long time. Come fill my empty flippers. Penny


08 May 04 - 12:58 PM (#1181167)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Liz the Squeak

I was going to mention that I don't do skinny anything, but I see someone beat me to it.....

Anyone mentioned this to Rockhopper Morris? They were after a giant penguin.

LTS


08 May 04 - 03:27 PM (#1181267)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: John MacKenzie

He'll do anything for a plate of Macaroni!
John


08 May 04 - 04:43 PM (#1181308)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Little Hawk

A possible opponent to take on the Giant Penguin?

It's Huge!!!


08 May 04 - 04:45 PM (#1181309)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Liz the Squeak

Firstly there is no P in hamster and secondly, that's not a hamster anyway.

LTS


08 May 04 - 06:04 PM (#1181351)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Little Hawk

Quite right. It's an incredibly fat groundhog! It must have done the 30 days of supersized meals at McDonald's to get that figure. Still, I think it might be a worthy adversary for the Giant Penguin.


08 May 04 - 06:06 PM (#1181357)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Little Hawk

Giant Armadillo!


08 May 04 - 06:09 PM (#1181360)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Little Hawk

The Flemish Giant Rabbit!


08 May 04 - 06:11 PM (#1181363)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Little Hawk

Giant Duck!


08 May 04 - 06:11 PM (#1181364)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Joybell

We have a giant Koala down here. She's pretending to be made of concrete and tourists walk in her bottom, to buy postcards, but she's really quite alive, just waiting for her moment. She'll protect us. Joy


08 May 04 - 06:14 PM (#1181368)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Little Hawk

Giant Pig!!!!


08 May 04 - 06:58 PM (#1181400)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: GUEST,Pingu

Penny, I have heard all about your dalliance with the Giant Armadillo, and quite frankly am devastated. My mother told me not to trust you and she was, as ever right. Please don't contact me again, as I do not want my mission to be impeded by overwrought emotions.

I will send my cousin around for my vinyl.


08 May 04 - 08:15 PM (#1181441)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: GUEST,Penny Gwin

Oh Pingu, I love it when you play hard to get! As for Mr. Ahmad Dillo how could you even suggest such a thing? You have a cousin? I'm interested. Send him over. He'll do for a warm up.
As for your dear mother I believe she came regularly to our place to play FISH. My mother was keen on card playing too and they were good friends. They would have loved to have us paired off. Penny


08 May 04 - 08:32 PM (#1181448)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: GUEST,Noddy

The truth is, it's Ahmad Dildo she's been dallying with. Shameful! I think you're entirely justified in breaking things off, Pingu.


08 May 04 - 09:07 PM (#1181470)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: GUEST,Pingu

Penny, cut the crap and go to hell on an ice floe. You said you would be true to me. You said we could start looking at flat pack furniture together. You said I made you feel like no other. You said we had a future. You said alot didn't you Penny?

Thanks Noddy, guess you've been shat on by a penguin too eh?


08 May 04 - 09:29 PM (#1181483)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: GUEST,Penny Gwin

Noddies are Terns aren't they. Well what would a Tern know? You've heard of Tern-coat! Never could trust one.
Leave no Tern unstoned 'till we get the truth I say!
For everything Tern Tern Tern there is a season ...
It didn't last anyway. Well maybe just a season. He Terned out not to be the one.
He's really a Booby. A Masked Booby. Ask Al B. Tross if he's not. Penny


08 May 04 - 09:37 PM (#1181488)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: Charley Noble

And one good tern deserves another!

Charley Noble


08 May 04 - 09:53 PM (#1181496)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: GUEST,Pingu

Al B. Tross would agree with anything for a quiet life. So leave him out of it Penny. The counselling is working and he feels really happy for once, so don't go messing his head up.

On the other hand I have spent an eye opening evening with C. Gull, and he says he saw you strutting your stuff at the Snow Ball. There's me taking over the world, while you just lounge around being fed shrimp by all and sundry.

It's over Penny. I have continents to devour.


08 May 04 - 10:00 PM (#1181502)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: GUEST,Blotto

Hell hath no fury like a penguin scorned!


09 May 04 - 04:44 AM (#1181607)
Subject: RE: BS: Giant Penguin Devastates Australia!!!
From: John MacKenzie

I thought a giant armadillo, was something they issued to WRACs when they joined up!
John