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30 Jun 04 - 02:49 PM (#1217195) Subject: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull New club, just opened, first meeting is tommorow, at The Marlborough Club, Chanterlands Ave, Hull, starts at 9pm, free admission, all welcome. |
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30 Jun 04 - 02:53 PM (#1217199) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: greg stephens MISS MISS MISS!! SIR JOHN'S SAID A NAUGHTY WORD |
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30 Jun 04 - 02:54 PM (#1217202) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: CarolC Don't forget your tuners and capos. |
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30 Jun 04 - 03:05 PM (#1217210) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: wysiwyg Mind if I start an associated group here John? ~S~ |
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30 Jun 04 - 03:31 PM (#1217225) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: John MacKenzie Save gas, fart in a bottle. Giok |
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30 Jun 04 - 03:58 PM (#1217252) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Bill D There was a young farter from Hull, Whose life was growing quite dull. So he started a club, But soon found the rub- The room emptied when e're he was full. |
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30 Jun 04 - 04:05 PM (#1217256) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: GUEST,confused CarolC: Instructions please, on how to use a capo and tuner to improve(?) change chord(?) tune(?) farts?? Or have you been talking to Spaw??? Inquiring minds want to know... |
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30 Jun 04 - 04:08 PM (#1217257) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Tweed I habv noticed thet English peoples habv more gas than other peoples. It seems they are farting on the tv and now thar is this. Whut causes this phermonimum? Iz it the beer over thar or the boiled potaters? Good luck Sir jOhn9 form hull. I hope it iz a gret success. Is it a smoking allowed sorta place? |
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30 Jun 04 - 04:56 PM (#1217283) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Once Famous This thread smells. |
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30 Jun 04 - 05:10 PM (#1217291) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Georgiansilver A sigh is an expression that comes from the heart. If it's expressed downwards, it becomes something else. An interesting thread...Should be dedicated to Joseph Pujol who lived and worked in France in the last quarter of the 19th c. He performed at the Moulin Rouge, at one point, and gave private audience to Prince Albert (much to queen Victorias disgust) He was known as "Le Petomane" or translated "The farter". He could imitate machine gun fire and artillery fire...could fart the Marsellaise and many other tunes, making himself a small fortune in the process. A film was made of his exploits and starred Leonard Rossiter as "Le Petomane"...If you can get hold of the film, please do watch it ....it is so funny. Be Blessed |
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30 Jun 04 - 05:17 PM (#1217299) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Amos The history of le Petomaine has been discussed several times on past threads. John, I recommend non-smoking, or perhaps smoking only in a no-farting section. Public safety must come first! A |
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30 Jun 04 - 05:22 PM (#1217304) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: ced2 On the banks of the 'umber int' rain, A young farter lit up his methane, It bew off his 'ead, Which left 'im quite dead, But the pong, nay stench, still remain. |
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30 Jun 04 - 05:47 PM (#1217318) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Shanghaiceltic Will beans and curry be served in the break? |
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30 Jun 04 - 05:52 PM (#1217323) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Rasener This thread is a load of shite |
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30 Jun 04 - 06:19 PM (#1217338) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: CarolC Confused (or stunned?) you just read the instructions that come with them. Silly. But make sure you get the right size. |
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30 Jun 04 - 07:20 PM (#1217365) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Bill D 'tuners' in this case, are usually only a piece of wood plug with a hole in the center...(sometimes cork, though it doesn't hold up long)...different size holes in the plug vary the tone. Now, I, being a woodturner, could fashion an elongated plug, with a center bore and holes drilled along the length..(why, yes...MUCH like a wooden flute, now that you ask!)..this would allow simple tunes to be played, much like an ocarina. If you will send me the size of the orfice, and a tightness quotient (1=snug, 2=tight, 3=permanent) I will endeavor to produce a personalized instrument of an appropriate wood that withstands moisture and chemicals. Teak is good for beginners, Lignam vitae for advanced "pooters", and several rare specialty woods for those who consider going Professional. prices dependant on size and wood... |
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30 Jun 04 - 08:57 PM (#1217392) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: darkriver Bill D., would the specialty woods include shittah or shittimwood? Thanks. Doug |
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30 Jun 04 - 09:54 PM (#1217408) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: GUEST,Paul from Hull sans biscuit Well, cant make it in the near future, but this sounds like an event I'll HAVE to attend at some point! ...but stay upwind & outside the blast radius folks, as I smoke too.... |
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30 Jun 04 - 10:05 PM (#1217410) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull heloo PAul, your up late, [its 3am in themorning here]! |
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30 Jun 04 - 10:08 PM (#1217412) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull anyway=i thhink you should go, as you are the only hull mudcat person, that i have not met in real life. Les met you, he told me one day, he said "i saw paul from hull in town the other day, he was buying some stuff" [that was a while ago. |
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01 Jul 04 - 12:54 AM (#1217479) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Seamus Kennedy The first mate's name was Carter, By Gawd, he was a farter! When the ship couldn't go 'Cause the wind wouldn't blow, They got Carter the Farter to start 'er. From HMS Pinafore or something.... Seamus |
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01 Jul 04 - 03:56 AM (#1217528) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Gurney From 'The Good Ship Venus', Seamus. Sir jOhn? Sir jOhn? Did you kneel before HRH, after what you've said about royalty in past threads? I HAD formed the opinion that you had principles. An opening here for a bartender with no sense of smell. |
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01 Jul 04 - 03:58 AM (#1217531) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: John MacKenzie Quercus is OK for me Bill D, or any suitable hardwood. Giok Giok |
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01 Jul 04 - 04:19 AM (#1217542) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: GUEST,MC Fat Surely it should be renamed . THE KINGSTON UPON HULL LEPETOMIE MEMORIAL FARTING CLUB |
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01 Jul 04 - 04:44 AM (#1217552) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: el ted What an offensive thread! I will certainly not be polluting my lungs by putting in a superstar guest appearance at this place! |
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01 Jul 04 - 05:30 AM (#1217569) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Dave Bryant I hope that it's strictly NO SMOKING. |
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01 Jul 04 - 05:34 AM (#1217570) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Dave Bryant In order to be in good "voice" a visit to the Curry Ship is recommended first. Do they serve a vindaloo-strength Channa Dhal ? |
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01 Jul 04 - 05:36 AM (#1217571) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: el ted Come and trump along with us a week on friday (july 16th) at SINGAROUND/FREAK OUT THE BLACKSMITHS ARMS FARLINGTON near YORK YO61 6NW free CAMPING/TOILETS/HOT WATER/ BBQ facilities. |
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01 Jul 04 - 06:13 AM (#1217580) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: GUEST,MC Fat Theres a town oop near 'uddersfield called Fartown. In fact some famous (so famous I can't remember his name) Rugby League chappie wanted to call his racehorse Fartowner and the Jockey Club objected. |
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01 Jul 04 - 07:00 AM (#1217591) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: GUEST,Sir Bufty of Tufty Congratulations on your Knighthood and MBE Sir jOhn, and not before time. Were your honours for services to literacy like wot mine was? Sir Bufty of Tufty. |
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01 Jul 04 - 11:40 AM (#1217657) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: GUEST,Noddy A young hellion from Hull, name of Bart Had never been taught how to fart The pressure inside Expanded his hide Till one sad day it blew him apart The report, like a great clap of thunder Was considered a crude social blunder When it ruptured his spleen With a sound quite obscene And then blew him completely asunder 'Twas a miserable fate don't you think? Fit to cause men to shiver and shrink At the grave consequence Of an arse over-tense And his death raised a terrible stink! |
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01 Jul 04 - 11:57 AM (#1217672) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Rasener :-) |
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01 Jul 04 - 12:25 PM (#1217695) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Seamus Kennedy Gurney, thanks for the correction. My instinct told me that Gilbert O' Sullivan didn't write it. Seamus |
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01 Jul 04 - 02:12 PM (#1217767) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: GUEST Good God Man ! Are you serious I thought I saw in in Sullivan's "A Gassing I Shall Go" |
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01 Jul 04 - 03:22 PM (#1217811) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: ced2 A phart it is a pleasant thing, it gives the bowels ease, It warms the bedclothes up at night, and suffocates the fleas. W. Shakespear Walter that is, not Will. |
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01 Jul 04 - 03:32 PM (#1217821) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Sttaw Legend To the tune of Gloria Gaynor's - 'I Will Survive'.... First I was afraid, I was petrified I could feel a strange commotion deep in my backside I had spent so many nights trying to contain the pong But I grew strong And my arse burst into song And so my gas Had come to pass As long as I know how to fart the world can kiss my ass I got all my life to live I got all my wind to give It's fun to fart It's fun to fart |
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01 Jul 04 - 04:30 PM (#1217876) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Mr Red I've heard the reports! |
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01 Jul 04 - 04:42 PM (#1217879) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Bill D darkriver...umm..that is usually called "Chittamwood" or Gum Bumelia, but I like the idea! *grin* Giok..!! gotta be careful..Quercus rubra leaks!..now Quercus alba, might be "okey".. "Honey from the honeycomb Water from the fountain. Whiskey from the White Oak barrel- Wild Rose of the Mountain" |
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01 Jul 04 - 07:18 PM (#1217942) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Gray D My family think that I should get a residency at the club. Now then, this phenomenon - "Trapped wind" - that they keep advertising the medicines for . . . anyone got any idea what that might be ???? Gray D |
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01 Jul 04 - 08:06 PM (#1217961) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Bill D a politician with tape on his mouth? |
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01 Jul 04 - 10:27 PM (#1218017) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: GUEST,Paul from Hull sans biscuit 'ello Sir John, Yeah, was at werk (am now too) Its been a while since I bumped into Les, but I'm determined to get to SOME folky evening sometime soon. |
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01 Jul 04 - 10:29 PM (#1218019) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull your at work now? [its 3.30am in the morning], waht do you do, your either a copper an ambulance bloke, a fire man, a baker, or a petrol forecourt bloke, or a security man. |
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01 Jul 04 - 10:32 PM (#1218020) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull anyway= did you knmow that night shift workers are 7 times more likey to get divorced, and will probably die 5 years younger than daytime workers? [i think its 5, might be 10], i bet thats cheered you up! higher incidence of depression, and cancers as well, [especially stomach cancer]. |
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02 Jul 04 - 03:39 AM (#1218109) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Sttaw Legend Right then, lets get straight to the point. FARTING - I LOVE IT. Okay, I know it can be embarrassing, smelly, noisy and a definite no-no when you're having a shag......but let's face it, we all do it and it can be hysterically funny, very entertaining and an excellent party piece. |
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02 Jul 04 - 04:37 AM (#1218148) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: GUEST,cracker Well! this thread has certainly come up trumps! Sorry for the delay in posting - i only just got wind of it! |
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02 Jul 04 - 05:58 AM (#1218193) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: GUEST,Windy Miller Were you in that film 'A Mighty Wind'? |
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02 Jul 04 - 06:48 AM (#1218221) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Sttaw Legend Farting with style takes practice, Perfection takes time, its a gift, You've first got to learn all the basics, Like pushing one out in a lift. Those silent but violent are classics, With friends it's a really good game, Fart in a crowd at a party, Then watch to see who gets the blame. Now once your technique has been mastered, You'll know what your bottom can do, But ALWAYS remember - don't push too hard, Coz one day you might follow through !!!! |
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02 Jul 04 - 06:59 AM (#1218229) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Dave Bryant See if you can get backing from the Green Party - after all you'd be providing at least two forms of renewable energy - Wind Power and Gas. On the other hand, do farts damage the ozone layer ? |
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02 Jul 04 - 07:34 AM (#1218242) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: ossonflags I can light farts, me. |
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02 Jul 04 - 10:06 AM (#1218332) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: JennyO 50 posts - thankyou. Jenny (a blow-in from Oz) |
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02 Jul 04 - 10:22 AM (#1218344) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: el ted Rats!! I was too slow! I have only bagged a couple of 100th posts this week. |
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02 Jul 04 - 10:37 AM (#1218360) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: The DeanMeister Careful of the blowbacks, Osson. I witnessed a horrible episode at Ripon Grammar School. Brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it... |
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02 Jul 04 - 11:02 AM (#1218380) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Dave Bryant Lighting farts is one way to get the hair off your bum ! I've farted, I've farted, I've made a trouser cough, I've whistled in me Y-Fronts, I've just peeled one off, I've blown my bowel bugle, I've ben eating peas. I've broken wind, I've dropped my guts. Someone open a window please. |
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02 Jul 04 - 11:58 AM (#1218416) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: ossonflags Aware of that Deanie old bean , have done the risk assesment. |
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02 Jul 04 - 04:48 PM (#1218585) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Sweetfia Eww!! Farting is gross! You lot are sick! |
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02 Jul 04 - 06:16 PM (#1218641) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Bill D ...but it's better than pain and/or exploding! *grin* |
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03 Jul 04 - 07:36 AM (#1218854) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Gurney Silly place to hold it, anyway, a club. Should hold it in a public library, or a lift, as above. |
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03 Jul 04 - 02:10 PM (#1218962) Subject: RE: BS: Hull Farting Club From: Sonnet Have you considered booking The Windy Bottom Kazoo Ensemble? JMcS |