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24 Aug 04 - 02:27 PM (#1255475) Subject: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k it could be interesting |
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24 Aug 04 - 02:28 PM (#1255477) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST Fucking nazi lover |
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24 Aug 04 - 02:28 PM (#1255478) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k if this proves popular, we must gather together Hull Farting Club to conduct the experiment |
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24 Aug 04 - 02:31 PM (#1255480) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k an interesting point raised by guest there. |
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24 Aug 04 - 02:38 PM (#1255485) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Once Famous Brit mentality? |
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24 Aug 04 - 02:42 PM (#1255488) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Rapparee Any mentality? |
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24 Aug 04 - 02:48 PM (#1255495) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: pdq GUEST is just tempermental: 95% temper, 5% mental |
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24 Aug 04 - 03:17 PM (#1255517) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Amos This entire thread is a sterling example of the absolute pissant most mediocre the Mudcat has to offer... A |
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24 Aug 04 - 03:26 PM (#1255528) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Once Famous It's a wonderful thread, Amos. Glad you participated. Why don't you start a thread on how farts manefest and their impact on Republican propaganda. |
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24 Aug 04 - 03:33 PM (#1255530) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: pdq If there is an expert on "the absolute pissant most mediocre the Mudcat has to offer..." that expert is surely Amos. |
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24 Aug 04 - 04:32 PM (#1255570) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Amos Oh, bullroar, PDQ. You know perfectly well this is far below the best the Mudcat has been and that it is an effort to promulgate second-rate claptrap. Face up to it. Why not strive for excellence instead of defending horse pucky? A |
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24 Aug 04 - 04:36 PM (#1255573) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Once Famous Do you like your promulgate done rare or medium well? And quit discriminating against horses. There pucky is no worse than coes or aborigines for that matter. I |
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24 Aug 04 - 05:16 PM (#1255619) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k bugger off amos or i will curse a fart on all your houses |
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24 Aug 04 - 06:24 PM (#1255697) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Amos Kay: I am not afraid. I have children who are more mature than you are. But curse away if it makes you feel better, and if you would rather actually communicate, feel free to drop me a PM and let me know where I am awry. A |
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24 Aug 04 - 07:20 PM (#1255740) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k fuck off its a BS section, youre the immature one coming into BS section and moaning at EVERY post that is not "mature" by your standards. Well some of us like to laugh and relieve boredom at work with this website, so sod off and keep your opinions that dont matter to anyone to yourself. I am going to plant a HUGE fart on your house and i hope it lingers for the rest of the time you live there. that will wipe the smile off your face... oh i forgot, you DONT HAVE ONE. K THX |
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24 Aug 04 - 08:46 PM (#1255824) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Amos Kay: Gee, that's about the third-rudest message I've ever gotten on the 'Cat. Never mind, I understand. It's boring as hell doing work. I just thought you might raise your sights a little as to what kind of things you do for fun. Tell you what -- save the huge farts for the office, and maybe they will learn to not be so boring, laugh at fart jokes and be more sensitive to your sense of humor. That will improve the morale, and therefore the margins, and all will be well. A |
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24 Aug 04 - 09:00 PM (#1255833) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: pdq s6k - he says you're in third place. That's only good for a bronze. Try a little harder, move up two places and go for the gold! |
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24 Aug 04 - 09:24 PM (#1255850) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Bee-dubya-ell Please explain exactly how you propose going about this farting. Farting "on" a house would require that one be suspended above said house in some fashion. Sure, one could easily fart on a single wall or a floor, but that would not accomplish the objective of farting on the entire house at one fell swoop, as it were. And actually, if you look carefully at the thread title it says "A Fart On All Your Houses". Does that mean that one is proposing that a single fart be divided among the houses of all the members of the Mudcat Cafe'? Surely that would weaken the effect of said fart to the point of it barely being noticeable. Unless, that is, you were able to somehow convince Catspaw49 into donating one of his notorious farts, which is pretty unlikely, Spaw being a bit of an Anglophobe. Of course, you could just re-title the thread to something that makes more sense like "A Fart in the General Direction of All Your Houses" but then you would have to acknowledge Monty Python's influence upon the title or you would definitely be guilty of plagiarism and possible copyright infringement and may wind up farting in a jail (or gaol) cell. |
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24 Aug 04 - 09:25 PM (#1255853) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST s6K always look at the person criticising you and ask yourself, " Do I aspire to be like this person? ". |
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25 Aug 04 - 12:10 AM (#1255942) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST,leeneia Please, please, let's be rational. Here s6k is trying to develop a humane alternative to "a plague on both your houses," and all some people can do is criticize. |
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25 Aug 04 - 12:42 AM (#1255956) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: The Fooles Troupe Wouldn't a Gold Fart be a bit messy? Dammned if I know what you would have to eat to get a Silver One though... |
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25 Aug 04 - 04:50 AM (#1256032) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST,The Bard "Do you shite your bum at us, sir ?" |
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25 Aug 04 - 04:58 AM (#1256035) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k hahahahahahaha. the bard has the idea. and i have a fan!! leeneia. many thanks. about the inquisition from Bee Dubya Ell, no dividing of one fart, the idea is currently proposed that the entire Hull Farting Club use our helicopter and be lowered by rope above each house. a megaphone will also be used to ensure that the occupant of each house knows what event has just taken place on their house. i think in romeo and juliet if the threat had been a fart on all your houses, then people would have taken note. |
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25 Aug 04 - 05:02 AM (#1256040) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST,The Same Bard, Again Better beware, good cat lords all, for as 'tis writ in my Tragedie of the Prince of Denmark: "For 'tis the sport to have the enginer Hoist with his owne petar." Take heed ! Good sport indeed ! |
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25 Aug 04 - 06:50 AM (#1256107) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Dave Hanson I'm training on Old Peculiar, mushy peas and curry. eric |
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25 Aug 04 - 06:53 AM (#1256109) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Dave Hanson If one must die, as oft as breath departs, Then he must often die, who often farts, And if to die is but to lose ones breath, Then deaths a fart, so a fart for death. eric |
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25 Aug 04 - 09:12 AM (#1256219) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Amos Eric, That little quatrain, like many farts, is a bit strained, but overall is a real Quality fart joke. A |
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25 Aug 04 - 09:23 AM (#1256225) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: The Fooles Troupe The Quality of Farting is not Strained. It droppeth as the gentle Breath from Heaven, Upon the Place Beneath. It is twice blest: It blesseth him that gives and him that takes." |
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25 Aug 04 - 10:47 AM (#1256313) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Amos I am sure you would like your own farts to drop as the gentloe breath from Heaven, FT, but the chances are they drop more like a rude blast from hell...damning the recipient to long suffering while the providor merely enjoys relief. A |
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25 Aug 04 - 01:02 PM (#1256474) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k ET TU FARTé |
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25 Aug 04 - 01:07 PM (#1256482) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Amos A classicist!! Who'd have thought you had such literate roots!! Well done, really. A cut above the ordinary. But I am sure you can do better, still. A |
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25 Aug 04 - 01:29 PM (#1256499) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Bee-dubya-ell Thanks for the clarification, s6k. I was reasonably sure that your plans would involve the use of helicopters, but I was not aware of the existence of the Hull Farting Club until now. That bit of information brings it all into focus. A large Sikorski with pilot, copilot and twelve dedicated farters, all members of the HFC. The copter hovers above an offending Mudcatter's house while Farter # 1 is lowered to a spot just a few meters above it where he releases a mighty blast. Farter #1 is then reeled back onboard where he replenishes his fart-gas supply by eating copious amounts of baked beans, Brussels sprouts and egg rolls until his turn in the rotation comes up again. Splendid! Have you contacted anyone in Hollywood regarding negotiations for the movie rights? They could do something like the scene in "Trainspotting" where the guy goes down the toilet only it could be shot from an egg roll's point of view. Arnold might even be convinced to put being the governor of California on the back burner for a few weeks so he could play the lead. |
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25 Aug 04 - 01:45 PM (#1256514) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k HASTA LA VISTA, FARTY |
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25 Aug 04 - 01:48 PM (#1256517) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST don't shout KAY you will wake people. |
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25 Aug 04 - 01:51 PM (#1256523) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Amos Kay: So glad your plans are coming together!! And the maturity thing? Well, no problem. It will happen, and at some rate or other. Entirely up to you whether it be soon or late; some prefer staying childish longer, for reasons too complex to go into just now. A |
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25 Aug 04 - 02:15 PM (#1256548) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST Amos she is young and having fun. What is your problem? She isn't hanging around on a street corner with her skirt up her jacksy, selling her self for the next fix. s6K you'd better not be! Go girl! |
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25 Aug 04 - 02:18 PM (#1256549) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Dave the Gnome Was it Burns? Or McGonagle??? Where 'ere ye be, let ye wind gan free Be ye in Church, or be ye in Chapel Fart awa' and make the windies rattle... :D |
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25 Aug 04 - 02:46 PM (#1256564) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Amos Me? Problem? No problem at all. I'm having fun myself, now that you mention it!! What's your problem? A |
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25 Aug 04 - 03:23 PM (#1256600) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k it wasnt a skirt it was hotpants!!!!! |
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25 Aug 04 - 04:11 PM (#1256632) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST Sorry Amos, your idea of fun just came across as patronising twaddle, my mistake. |
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25 Aug 04 - 05:30 PM (#1256716) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Amos Right -- no apology necessary -- I get delusory about other people often enough myself. A |
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25 Aug 04 - 05:34 PM (#1256722) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Amos BTW, has anyone noticed that resenting people disrupting the flow of your conversation is a two-way street? Funny how that works, huh? A |
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25 Aug 04 - 07:04 PM (#1256865) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k nobody cares what you have to say any more, sod off. anyone wanna see me in my hotpants? :p |
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25 Aug 04 - 08:01 PM (#1256913) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Amos Sure -- feeling aLL GROWN UP, ARE WE? JOLLY GOOD. Can you infect others with that spirit of intelligence and maturity? A |
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25 Aug 04 - 10:50 PM (#1257020) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: pdq Can you, Amos? NOT! |
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26 Aug 04 - 04:27 AM (#1257133) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Gervase C'mon Amos, we old farts are always going on about gtting the next generation involved in music. If a nine-year-old wants to make her first forays into it by posting fart and bottom jokes in the BS section of the Mudcat, let's not get too heavy on her. By the time she reaches puberty she might be able to make a genuine contribution. After all, we don't level at the guns of art criticism at our youngsters' early attempts at finger painting... Anyway, to get pompous for a moment (Moi?!), good fart jokes have a long and noble history. Aristophanes coined a word which should have wider use today in lifts, cinemas and crowded places - apopathuramai (I fart for my own benefit). And we've all done it, even if just to raise a snigger. |
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26 Aug 04 - 06:11 AM (#1257163) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Dave Hanson A fart is just a little thing, But often does it please, It warms the bed on a windy night, And gasses all the fleas. eric |
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26 Aug 04 - 06:23 AM (#1257168) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k ok, im not nine years old thank you. youre 10 years out my friend |
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26 Aug 04 - 07:04 AM (#1257183) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST You are doing quite well for a one year old, well done |
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26 Aug 04 - 08:16 AM (#1257214) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k the expected response, well done for being the one to come out with it |
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26 Aug 04 - 10:30 AM (#1257297) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Amos Gervase, and Kay: You know, you're right, Gervase. I shouldn't be leasning on Kay, and I apologize for singling her out. It wasn't the fart jokes as such that was getting under my skin -- I am familiar with their noble history -- but the dedicated promotoion of stupidness which upset me. The mudcat has always struck me as a place where those with more than two brain cells could find kindred souls and speak honestly and clearly. When someone runs around spreading idiocies it gets harder and there aren't that many such places left. I just think that we should struggle against the fall of darkness, not dramatize accelerating it. A |
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26 Aug 04 - 11:39 AM (#1257355) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k BS section = idiocies will be rife. Music section ABOVE THE LINE = serious music discussion. |
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26 Aug 04 - 11:45 AM (#1257364) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Gervase Aye, but Kay, just because you're from Hull, you don't have to write drivel. Or is there something in the water in the North-East that has brought on a sort of cyber-Tourette's? |
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26 Aug 04 - 12:08 PM (#1257389) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Amos There's BS and there's drivel, Kay. Good BS is an art-form, even if not about music. You can learn it. But not by covering it up with mud. A |
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26 Aug 04 - 12:09 PM (#1257392) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST s6K has chosen a mudcat name. Why don't you use it, instead of trying to undermine her. It really jars. |
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26 Aug 04 - 12:53 PM (#1257422) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST Amos it must be wonderful to be so perfect and self righteous. Please accept SINCERE apologies from all those who do not think as you do, and do a you act. Come on everyone we must try harder to achieve Amos standards. |
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26 Aug 04 - 12:57 PM (#1257426) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST If I could stoop that low I'd be a limbo dancer. |
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26 Aug 04 - 01:33 PM (#1257454) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Amos Hey, anyone want to try some straight conversation here? Guys? Fer crying out loud. If all you can do is pump snide remarks, maybe you should study up, or sompn'. It doesn't seem very productive, and it kinda hurts my feelings, too. You wanna get over this stuff and talk like humans? Awwwww, c'mon. It really really doesn't hurt. A |
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26 Aug 04 - 01:42 PM (#1257463) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST Then stop haranguing a 19yrold. It grates. |
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26 Aug 04 - 01:44 PM (#1257466) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Amos I already stopped haranguing her; now I am simply encouraging her to stand up for higher standards of communication! Wot, you think 19 is too young for responsibility? Come on. A |
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26 Aug 04 - 01:47 PM (#1257470) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST "If all you can do is pump snide remarks, maybe you should study up" Memory not working to well Amos "The mudcat has always struck me as a place where those with more than two brain cells etc" |
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26 Aug 04 - 01:50 PM (#1257474) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST You are not encouraging her. You are patronising her. I am not 19 and can see right through you. |
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26 Aug 04 - 01:53 PM (#1257480) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST "I am simply encouraging her to stand up for higher standards of communication" You just don't get it do you - are these the "Amos higher standards" |
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26 Aug 04 - 01:55 PM (#1257483) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: pdq It's easy to see right through Amos because there ain't must there. |
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26 Aug 04 - 02:15 PM (#1257500) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Amos PDQ: See PM -- let's get this sorted out. A |
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26 Aug 04 - 02:35 PM (#1257513) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Once Famous Is anyone going to quit over this fabulous thread? |
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26 Aug 04 - 02:35 PM (#1257514) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k "It's easy to see right through Amos because there ain't must there." LOL !!!! |
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26 Aug 04 - 02:39 PM (#1257519) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k by the way im looking through mudcat rules, to see where it says "Amos has the right to decide what BS should be posted, and what BS should not be posted" ill let you know when i find it.... *rolls eyes* |
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26 Aug 04 - 06:34 PM (#1257684) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull I think Amos fancies s6K! |
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26 Aug 04 - 06:41 PM (#1257691) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST Thank Gawd you're back. I have been defending s6K for the last couple of days. But I am no more than a lily livered suv'ner. |
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26 Aug 04 - 06:43 PM (#1257692) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST Dam why didn't I think of that, it's courtship before our very eyes, Amos you should have said, it takes all sorts |
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26 Aug 04 - 07:15 PM (#1257711) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k so, not all GUESTS are bad after all ;) |
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26 Aug 04 - 07:23 PM (#1257713) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST :-) all part of the service m'lady. |
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26 Aug 04 - 11:35 PM (#1257843) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST,Mrs Olive Whatnoll This 'ere is the sort of f'read I was talkin' about, s6k! It's bloody offensive. Me Eddie says you ought to get the strap for starting such a rude f'read, and I agree wif him. It's not polite in the least. Jest wot are you playin' at? I feel like I 'ave to wash me 'ands every time I look at the title of this 'ere f'read. It's an outrage! As for John from 'Ull, 'e assaulted me cousin Rutherford the other night over in 'Ull when 'e was politely askin' for a cigarette. John from 'Ull's a maniac. 'E ought to be put in the Tower of London or sent down under to Australia or summat like that...away from decent god fearing people wot puts their pants on one leg at a time and sings "Rule Britannia" in the shower like me Eddie does. Disgraceful! Shocking! Scandalous! I am seething wif rightchous indignytion! Mrs. Olive Whatnoll |
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27 Aug 04 - 06:16 AM (#1257983) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k be silent |
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27 Aug 04 - 06:16 AM (#1257985) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: s6k also = a fart on your house olive |
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27 Aug 04 - 06:49 AM (#1258034) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: The Fooles Troupe Please don't send him to Australia. |
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27 Aug 04 - 06:55 AM (#1258042) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST him !!! eh it's a her me thinks |
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27 Aug 04 - 07:01 AM (#1258046) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Caroline1984 g'day mates |
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01 Sep 04 - 04:53 AM (#1261407) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Hull Farting Club next meeting=Tomorow, at The Marlborough Club, Chants Ave, Hull, 9pm start, all welcome. |
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15 Sep 04 - 02:55 AM (#1272070) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull |
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15 Sep 04 - 07:59 AM (#1272252) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: Dave Bryant "She isn't hanging around on a street corner with her skirt up her jacksy" - It might be if she farts hard enough ! - if she's wearing the hotpants, she'll probably split them up the back ! |
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15 Sep 04 - 12:07 PM (#1272536) Subject: RE: BS: A Fart On All Your Houses From: GUEST,Skinnymalinky Dave the Gnome: In yer post to this thread awhile back, wad that no be: "Fairt awa'..."? Amos: Even though you're a swatty horrace, I like yer posts, mostly. (If ye dinna ken what swatty horrace means, ask Dave the Gnome.) And it's: A Fairt on a' Yer Hooses. By the way, what's a "jacksy"? |