BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!

22 Oct 04 - 08:42 AM (#1303792)
Subject: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Rapparee

Well, that's his own opinion, anyway.

I am an arrogant asshole.
Ebverybobby says that!

Tweed
K.O.T.R.O.T

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22 Oct 04 - 09:00 AM (#1303809)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Bobert

Hey, Rap, why the poor ol' Twwezer? He ain't got nuthin' to be arrogant about...Really...

(^%)(&*&^$T%^%(*&...................................)

Shoot, Rap, that website ain't nuthin' more than ol' cardboard, a little chicken wire and lots of 200 mph duct tape.

Bobert

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22 Oct 04 - 09:03 AM (#1303813)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Rapparee

Bobert, I pulled that whole from the MOAB, where ol' Tweed hiz own self posted it just today (October 22, 2004). I'm just tryin' to help him get the word out, since he's too danged shy to do it all himself.

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22 Oct 04 - 09:32 AM (#1303833)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Rapparee

Here's the whole thing, Bobert.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed - PM
Date: 22 Oct 04 - 08:16 AM

I am an arrogant asshole.
Ebverybobby says that!

Tweed
K.O.T.R.O.T

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22 Oct 04 - 10:15 AM (#1303873)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Little Hawk

Maybe he should run for president... :-)

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22 Oct 04 - 11:27 AM (#1303939)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: wysiwyg

Well, I've stated on a number of occasions that I'm an a**hole, too, but apparently while I think I'm over-sufficiently arrogant, I'm not quite arrogant enough to have rated a thread about it! :~(

:~)

~Susan

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22 Oct 04 - 12:52 PM (#1303988)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: CarolC

Define 'Ebverybobby'.

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22 Oct 04 - 03:44 PM (#1304108)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Amos

'Ebverybobby'. : Noun. A collective noun indicating alb bha beopble under cobsiberation.

A

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22 Oct 04 - 04:00 PM (#1304120)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: CarolC

It's not about English policemen then?

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23 Oct 04 - 09:20 AM (#1304713)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Tweed

Thank you Rawpeerz, for getting my message out to themasses, and to my enemas and frends alike. Yaz, I am a argent asshole and I wuld like to invite az many obv the rest of you wif this inflexion to come ford and be clenzed. I feel better from making my confection to the Mudcat communety as a hole az I know that menny obv you harbvor simular analgesics tucked away deep inside somwher.
My plea to each and every one obv you is to throw up your windows an yell at the top obv yore vorses,

Yaz,I....

(inserde yore own name here)

am a arrgoant asshole!!

You will feel better fore it and the truth will be known to all and this world will be a better place.

Yores,
Tweed
A.A.& K.O.T.R.O.T.

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23 Oct 04 - 02:04 PM (#1304911)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: CarolC

Our windows don't go up. They only go side to side. How anti-climactic.

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23 Oct 04 - 09:24 PM (#1305253)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Rapparee

Some of mine don't open at all. Can I shout it from the rooftop or off the porch instead?

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23 Oct 04 - 10:34 PM (#1305301)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge

Tweed's gross shortcomings as a human being and his wellnigh immeasurable arrogance are already so well known that I hardly think we need a vulgar thread about it. Tweed should just be ignored, like other unpleasant things that one cannot really do anything about.

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24 Oct 04 - 08:32 AM (#1305505)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Tweed

Yaz my darling Penelope, but you could not ignore me could you? Admit it, you are irreversibly drawn to my arrogance and devil may care demeanor. Come to me my Sweet, I will take you places you have nebver been.

Tweed
A.A.& K.O.T.R.O.T.

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24 Oct 04 - 09:18 AM (#1305523)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: GUEST,HC

What caused all the furor in the first place? Does tweed hold strong opinions or something?

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24 Oct 04 - 12:57 PM (#1305668)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: CarolC

Strong is a good word. Strong and powerful like a ripe limberger cheese, that's our Tweed.

So, GUEST,HC, do your windows go up and down, or side to side?

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24 Oct 04 - 04:42 PM (#1305870)
Subject: Dealing with Gnats & Other Pests
From: GUEST,The Management

This thread has been brought to our attention by several members. They have complained that it is a personal attack and is therefore unworthy to be posted on this forum.

We have taken these complaints seriously & have spent the last 9 days in sober conference to determine what actions, if any, we shall take.

This afternoon, we decided to publicize our progress.

We have determined the following:

1. This is definitely a personal attack.
2. The attack is directed upon one "Tweed".
3. Said "Tweed" was also the originator of the attack.
4. The said "Tweed" has, in several previous posts, exhibited multiple personalities.
5. The said "Tweed" has often signed his ravings with strange, undecipherable "signatures", such as ; "Tweed who is aslo knhardazz" and other such silliness.
6. The said "Tweed" is somewhat crazy.
7. The said "Tweed" arrogantly parades his craziness like a herd of prized ginnies, therefore, he is arrogant.

Therefore, we have determined that said "Tweed" is arrogant but, at this time, no determination has been made regarding his assholiness.

If we conclude that said "Tweed" is arrogant but not an asshole then the original precept is merely half true and we will have to delete half of this thread.

If we further conclude that said "Tweed" is aslo an asshole, then the original precept is completely true & therefore not a personal attack, but rather an observation of truth. Thread will then remain intact.

We welcome any evidence regarding said "Tweed's" assholiness, as it is imperative that we put this matter behind us so we can get on to the next crisis.

The Management

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24 Oct 04 - 05:43 PM (#1305937)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: GUEST

Hey, CarolC, my windows go up and down!   And shouting makes me happy ;~)).   btw, do you know what K.O.T.R.O.T. means?

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24 Oct 04 - 05:44 PM (#1305938)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: GUEST,HC, my windows go up

I meant to type my name last frame. Sorry. :D

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24 Oct 04 - 05:51 PM (#1305949)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: CarolC

Knights Of Tweed Royal Outhouse Tippers

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24 Oct 04 - 06:57 PM (#1306033)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Little Hawk

Har! Har! Boy, Tweed, you really know how to drive Penelope's mercury beyond the boiling point, don't you? Actually, she does seem to be drawn toward arrogant men, presumably because they appear to be a suitable foil for engaging in a duel, a veritable battle royale of will and tenacity. If Penelope ever marries I predict that it will be to a stupendously arrogant man and the two of them will make life absolute hell for one another...but it will at least never be dull.

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24 Oct 04 - 08:24 PM (#1306115)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: GUEST

Royal Outhouse Tippers...had to write that down to figure it out....Tweed is weird, I'll grant you that, but who isn't around here, eh????

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24 Oct 04 - 08:25 PM (#1306119)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Rapparee

The window in my living room didn't open so I used a brick. I then shouted The Phrase as loudly as I could.

I am now in jail for breaking and exiting.

Please send $2.57 US in bail money.

Thank you.

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24 Oct 04 - 08:26 PM (#1306120)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: GUEST,HC again!

There I go again forgetting to identify myself!!!   I tried to login but the system didn't send me my password the way it said that it did!!

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24 Oct 04 - 09:21 PM (#1306150)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Little Hawk

You should also sue yourself for damages when you get out, Rapaire.

I opened the window here and yelled "the phrase" out into a dark and rainy night. All the dogs in the neighborhood started barking, including the three in this house, and it seemed to go on FOREVER! I blame you for this. You will be hearing from my lawyers.

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24 Oct 04 - 09:30 PM (#1306157)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: CarolC

Tweed is weird, I'll grant you that, but who isn't around here, eh????

Who said anyone around here isn't weird? Not me, I'll tell you. No sirree, I never said anyone around here isn't weird. Nope not me. No, we're all weird, every last one of us. No "normals" around here...

**looks at ceiling, hands in pockets** (dum te dum te dum dum dum)

(Royal Outhouse)

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24 Oct 04 - 09:39 PM (#1306164)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Little Hawk

Ha! Ha! Ha! Amazing that McGill Porta-Potties would be put on the map, so to speak, by an accordion-playing woman from the USA. Great picture!

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24 Oct 04 - 10:03 PM (#1306187)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: khandu

I protest this "bath-room" humor from Carol C.!
Being completely uninvolved with this thread, I am nonetheless besmirched by her posting of a picture of me doing my gastronomical duty. What is more private than a visit to a privy? Truly, my rights as a citizen have been bruised with this cruel deed!

The Etherial Kingdom is in a tizzy over your action! This is a dark night in Mississippi.

Kk

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24 Oct 04 - 10:05 PM (#1306192)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Little Hawk

Every friggin' night is dark in Mississippi!

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24 Oct 04 - 10:10 PM (#1306201)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Rapparee

Of course it's a dark night in Mississippi, Khandu. That's 'cause the sun went down. It gets dark when that happens.

Now, if the sun went down at noon, then it would be a dark afternoon in Mississippi or anywhere else. Or if the sun didn't come up it would be a dark day.

By the way, the cheque or check I sent (for US $23,209,147.17) was cashed. It was endorsed by "Kanj Candooo" and deposited in a bank in Ulaanbaator. I didn't know that you were Mongolian.

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24 Oct 04 - 10:22 PM (#1306211)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: CarolC

That's funny, khandu. I didn't hear you complaining when you posed for that picture. Nor did I hear you complain when you asked me to be your spokesmodel and point to you while you were posing for the picture.

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25 Oct 04 - 11:35 AM (#1306652)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Tweed

Liddle Hargs, I do enjoy nothing more than pinching that old bidet Peneapple's scrawny bottom! HAW! She says she don't, but I know likes it perdy good and wuld feel ignorred if I didn't do it once in a while.

As fore the guest mangement, they habv hit the nail on the head on all counts. I habv attacked my own self and defly anyone to stop me from doing it! Asol, I hope thet more obv you will follow Rawpair and CarolC the CrapperQueen's lead in shouting your assholyness from the windows or rooftops, whichebver is more convenant for you. Posonby, it could habv great effect if shouted inside a loaded tour bus, museum or liberry. Tell the world and they will follow suit and honesty an directness will triumplph obver all!

My apoplexies to Khing Khnazgharr for the continued degradition he suffers from the Royal Porta Potty photo. But it iz a fine picture obv Carol nonetheless, and would look good on a billborad in Sudbury or summwhar. Ar Khing will find thet the nites are longer up thar wif summat more daylite at certain times obv the year. It iz surely cooler than Mizippi, but he will be able to see better while struggling wif hizzelf while in the Royal Chamberpot az he is wont to do. I feel sertain that the influks obv Kudzu into the Holy Khingdom of Mississippi has unsettled him as it did my own self while on hiatus there recently. Kudzu growing on trees thar will take the shape obv groups of giant green people who seem to be in conference wif one another. It is almost like they are wondering what to do about the problem obv cotton crops encroaching upon them. It iz very spooky to view in the twilight hours I can tell you that. Expecially when the wind blows thar arms around and they appear to be gestating to mak thar point better understood. Khing Khardaz'z job is no easy matter and I would hide in a opake outhouse if I wabz in his shoes aslo!

Tweed

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25 Oct 04 - 11:47 AM (#1306664)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Little Hawk

What are you trying to do? Make jOhn from Hull envious?

I think you're onto a good idea here. I will attempt to gain access to microphones at large public events, supposedly to make some public service announcement, then yell "the phrase" before they realize what I'm up to. In this fashion I hope to become quite well known in Canada and then maybe write a bestselling book whose title will of course be "the phrase".

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25 Oct 04 - 11:57 AM (#1306670)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: wysiwyg

I know what the probalem was, now. I may or may not be argent but I am usually proclaiming my iggerance (or ignernce depending on your local dialect).

~S~

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25 Oct 04 - 12:25 PM (#1306690)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Tweed

Wizzy, that wuld be iggornance. Let me kno if you need enny farther help wif yore spelling, az I am writing a new dictlenary and will try to publish it here on MOAB when it gets complexed.

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25 Oct 04 - 12:39 PM (#1306708)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: wysiwyg

Have also heard variant IGG'R'NT.

I will consult with Bobbered later this month!

~S~

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25 Oct 04 - 02:44 PM (#1306804)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Tweed

You will find thet Boberdz is obv liddle help. He too iz an arrogant asshole but in denile by his own admission. I invite him to free hizzeld by shouting from the top obv his mountain retreat:

I, Boberdzz, am an arrgrant asshole just like the rest obv you.

Boberdzz??? Are you wif me here? Just climb the mountain and be free obv yore constraineds and fedderdz.

Yores,
Tweed

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25 Oct 04 - 06:29 PM (#1306979)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Rapparee

Is the world large enough to contain the accumulation of arrogant assholity that will result if everyone goes out and shouts The Phrase? Have we world enough and time?

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25 Oct 04 - 06:39 PM (#1306988)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Jack the Sailor

If the sun doesn't come up how is it day?

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25 Oct 04 - 08:44 PM (#1307101)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Rustic Rebel

Tweed,
I swear upon my collection of deer-turd necklaces,I never called you an arrogant asshole...

all in one sentence.

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26 Oct 04 - 11:54 AM (#1307675)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Tweed

You share my taste in fine geegaws, Rustic. I myself wear a rabbit turd headdress arranged into corn-rows with small bells attached, but only while posting here at MOAB. I find that it clears my mind summat, and am able to think more lucite. I am certain though thet you must have called me a stupid, silly, ignorant, crazed, or some other adverb during our long simmering romance. ;~)
Posonby it is penelope I am thinking of who has paid me such complemends in the past.

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28 Oct 04 - 04:58 PM (#1309895)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Tweed

Dammit!! I thought certain that the mental image of "a rabbit turd headdress arranged into corn-rows with small bells attached", would elevate this thread to new heights of absurdity and cause madness and mouth foaming to spread like SARS.

After much thought I have come to the conclusion that I will no longer be associated with arrogant assholes....no, I am of higher Ilk than that. I will henceforth be known as

Tweed, the Flaming Asshole.

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28 Oct 04 - 06:42 PM (#1309993)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Rapparee

Being a simple, plain sort of chap I don't have time for such folderol and headresses. Just a simple gimme cap is fine with me, something advertising seed corn or tractors.

That's all I wear, and boy, it's starting to get cold!

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28 Oct 04 - 07:31 PM (#1310031)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: khandu

It is clear that Tweed wears his absurd headdress in an effort to emulate my Royal Self, King khandu of the Etherial Kingdom of Mississippi, whom Tweed desires to be! Little does he realize that the Royal Cherokee Headwear which I so proudly don is a sign of a covenant between my Royal Self & Chief Boi-Ardee of the Knookie-knook tribe which forbids the wearing of the unclean turds of rabbits any where above the navel or anywhere below the goonads.

Further, the Honored Covenant aslo forbids the burning of "noxious gasses which are expelled from the relaxed sphincter of the holes of asses". In non-Royal terms, that means it forbids flaming assholes.

Tweed, there is no need to try to promote yourself this way? Was it not enough that I gave you a kid-sized reasonable facsimile of my
Royal Headwear (with attached gee-gaws!)? Or that I gave you a Porta-Potty made as a replica of my Royal Throne? Can you not be happy just being the greatly needed Royal KOTROT & Asshole you are?

Come to your senses Man! Anyone can be a Flaming Asshole!

Kk

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28 Oct 04 - 07:34 PM (#1310035)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: khandu

I meant to say "Hell. . . Even Rapaire can be a F.A. !

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28 Oct 04 - 10:01 PM (#1310135)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Rapparee

I am humbled by such noblesse oblige.

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29 Oct 04 - 03:45 PM (#1310834)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Tweed

I am humbelled aslo, khing Khnakwortz. Obv corse you are correct and most royal in all things. Pa is the only true flaming asshole and I could nebver hop of completing with him. Yaz, I am just another asshole with no accootermens needed. I hbv done away with my headress at yore behast and found that if unstrung, makes a fine crouton and a welcome addition to salads and even meatloaf filler,although I'm summat at a loss for what to do with the bells.
I remain obv corse,
Yores,
Tweed
K.O.T.R.O.T. and Nobleffe Asshole

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29 Oct 04 - 05:19 PM (#1310934)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Rapparee

If Tweed is no longer an AA, and I'm not one, Khandu is the only one left, right? And if that is right, then Khandu, who is king and therefore must always be right, can't be left and hence not an AA, and that means that Tweed must still be one even though he is not.

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29 Oct 04 - 05:54 PM (#1310965)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: khandu

Your logic is impeccable! I am awed! Hmmmmm. . . did I ever offer you a place in the Royal Counsul?

Kk

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29 Oct 04 - 06:32 PM (#1310988)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Rapparee

Impeccable logic has always been one of my many strong points.

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29 Oct 04 - 10:02 PM (#1311115)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: khandu

I am somewhat distressed. Re-read Tweed's latest post & tell me if it rings true? NO! He was obviously preoccupied with something as he wrote this. If a photo had been taken as he composed it, the message would have appeared as an insignificant incidental. From past experiences, I fear there is something no good afoot & the foot is Tweed's!

k

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16 Jan 05 - 06:55 PM (#1380125)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Little Hawk

Bravely posted, Bee-dub! It is indeed a pleasure to see this thread return. I wonder if we could collectively form a new 12-step association for assholes?

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16 Jan 05 - 07:15 PM (#1380146)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Amos

I never usedter be an asshole. But then, I hung around and stayed around and next thing you kno I are wun, and loudly anouinted in public places by folks like Martin Gibson and Beered Bruce and Go2Hull and suchlike which have persuaded me now to honestly succumb and confess to their opinions even as though I held them my own self, in saying I too am an asshole. Damn. That feels mighty fine!!

A

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16 Jan 05 - 09:49 PM (#1380227)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: GUEST,Leonard Nimoy

WILLIAM SHATNER IS AN ARROGANT ASSHOLE!!!

God, did that ever feel great! I've been waiting almost forty years to say that. You really have no idea.

And, now some fucking morons have given the no-talent sack of shit a Golden Globe Award, whatever in the hell that is. I'll never hear the end of it. Oh well, maybe I'll cut a new CD and try for a Grammy.

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16 Jan 05 - 10:19 PM (#1380237)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Amos

I wish to make it absolutely and ineluctable clear that the Golden Globe award, of which Mister Shitner is a recent recipient, is in no way sponsored, honored, supported, put forward, or recognized by the Temple of the Golden Globes, also known as the Temple of the Divine Curve.

There is no association between the two; one is a crude materialistic pursuit and the other is a highly enlightened organization seeking to perfect certain tactile and meditative techniques in recognition of the divinity inherent in certain curvaceous creations on the ortal plane.

I hope this resolves the issue completely.

Frere Tacitus Aeternitus, Brother of First Contact
Temple of the Golden Globes

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16 Jan 05 - 10:25 PM (#1380242)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Peace

The ortal plane? Twin engines I suppose, right?

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16 Jan 05 - 10:28 PM (#1380243)
Subject: RE: BS: Tweed is an arrogant asshole!
From: Amos

Ah, woe, I am sure Frere Tacitus meant "mortal". I think the Ortal Plane went down in 1907 in North Carolina.

A

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