|
11 Nov 04 - 02:03 PM (#1323508) Subject: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: grumpy al so lets see who has the funniest most unusual "it's about as much use as" lines. Hers a few to get you going. mudflaps on a spaceship chocolate fireguard ash tray on a motorbike tits on a goldfish |
|
11 Nov 04 - 02:06 PM (#1323510) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. |
|
11 Nov 04 - 02:14 PM (#1323517) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Leadfingers Do you want things like 'Welcome as a fart in a spacesuit' as well ?? |
|
11 Nov 04 - 02:14 PM (#1323519) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: McGrath of Harlow a chocolate teapot |
|
11 Nov 04 - 02:16 PM (#1323523) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST "As useful as a one-legged man at an arse-kicking competion." Or "As exciting as a MISTER Wet Tee-Shirt Competition." |
|
11 Nov 04 - 02:20 PM (#1323526) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: John MacKenzie Tits on a bull. Geoge W Bush at a peace conference. Giok |
|
11 Nov 04 - 02:21 PM (#1323529) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: grumpy al thanks Leadfingers all ideas welcome |
|
11 Nov 04 - 02:21 PM (#1323530) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: greg stephens ......a wet fart in a thunderstorm. ....a folk session in one of the repellent pubs and clubs that have taken over the centre of Newcatle-under-Lyme in order to sell coloured vodka to children. |
|
11 Nov 04 - 02:27 PM (#1323538) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Georgiansilver It's about as much use as an extra p.... on a honeymoon. " " " " " " wings on a pig. " " " " " " bull in a china shop " " " " " " some of the bigots on mudcat Best wishes. |
|
11 Nov 04 - 02:31 PM (#1323542) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: McGrath of Harlow Rubber strings on a guitar |
|
11 Nov 04 - 02:33 PM (#1323546) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: John MacKenzie An arsehole on a turd! |
|
11 Nov 04 - 02:36 PM (#1323551) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: grumpy al hi Geogiansilver Bigots on mudcat I can't think what you mean ho ho ho keep the ideas coming |
|
11 Nov 04 - 02:37 PM (#1323555) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Georgiansilver ROFLOL |
|
11 Nov 04 - 02:48 PM (#1323568) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Once Famous A Herman Munster mask on John Kerry. |
|
11 Nov 04 - 03:02 PM (#1323594) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Georgiansilver Martin, you actually made me laugh....Best wishes, Mike. |
|
11 Nov 04 - 03:15 PM (#1323615) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Greg-there's a few of them pubs in Hull now, it can be fun at closing time seeing pissed up youths fighting or more often threatening to fight with each other, just last week I saw 2 youths kids in tracksuits stood about 10 feet apart shouting at each other "Come on then!, "no, you come on then!", "come over here and say that" "no, you come over here, and say it" etc,etc. then usually one of their girlfrends will shout= "leave it Wayne, he's not werth it"! |
|
11 Nov 04 - 03:16 PM (#1323621) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Jim Dixon "Useless as tits on a boar hog" is one I've actually heard. "Ain't worth a hoot in a whirlwind" is one my father used a lot. I think "hoot" here is a euphemism for "fart." |
|
11 Nov 04 - 03:28 PM (#1323646) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST,Diogenes ....Martin Gibson. |
|
11 Nov 04 - 03:37 PM (#1323654) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Once Famous it's about as much use as guest, Diogenes' syphilis. |
|
11 Nov 04 - 03:38 PM (#1323658) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Georgiansilver Now GUEST Diogenes..your post reflects a sort of niaivety unobserved for some while...Martin Gibson...where he may annoy some...disturb some...play with some.....is not useless....He gets more attention than you do!!!! Best wishes. |
|
11 Nov 04 - 03:41 PM (#1323662) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: grumpy al OOOOOH!! Geogiansilver put the claws away. |
|
11 Nov 04 - 03:43 PM (#1323669) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Georgiansilver It's a clause....claws...in my contract...LOL |
|
11 Nov 04 - 03:45 PM (#1323676) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: grumpy al LOL |
|
11 Nov 04 - 03:50 PM (#1323688) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Once Famous Stay cool, G-silver guy. |
|
11 Nov 04 - 03:50 PM (#1323689) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Helen ................ a pocket in a pair of underpants and I found these in a search on the net: As much use as a trap door on a lifeboat As useful as a grave robber in a crematorium As much use as a lead parachute Helen |
|
11 Nov 04 - 03:51 PM (#1323693) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: grumpy al LOL |
|
11 Nov 04 - 04:00 PM (#1323705) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST About as much use as: Trying to explain music to Martin Gibson. Trying to explain anything rational to Martin Gibson. A dick on Martin Gibson. |
|
11 Nov 04 - 04:01 PM (#1323709) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Georgiansilver Always the GUEST who knocks Martin Gibson....reveal yourself GUEST.... |
|
11 Nov 04 - 04:02 PM (#1323710) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: grumpy al Now Now Guest that is getting much to personal. This is meant to be a bit of fun |
|
11 Nov 04 - 04:04 PM (#1323715) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Once Famous He or she won't. But I don't care. I figure they just don't want anyone to know that they gargle with pee-pee. |
|
11 Nov 04 - 04:06 PM (#1323718) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Once Famous grump al, this particular Guest is so hung up on everything that they don't realize how obvious they are to me. |
|
11 Nov 04 - 04:09 PM (#1323724) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Georgiansilver Or perhaps even to others who recognise their style. |
|
11 Nov 04 - 04:09 PM (#1323725) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: grumpy al nice to know you dont take it seriously all the best Al |
|
11 Nov 04 - 05:32 PM (#1323836) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST the "tits on (insert random animal)" seems a common one. Tits on fish is the one I know. |
|
11 Nov 04 - 05:52 PM (#1323873) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: skipy a lesbian without a tongue. Skipy (just made that up!) |
|
11 Nov 04 - 05:53 PM (#1323877) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Once Famous Let me ask, does the tits thing matter if they have brown or pink nipples? |
|
11 Nov 04 - 05:56 PM (#1323883) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Georgiansilver I would like to think I could keep abreast of whatever! |
|
11 Nov 04 - 06:28 PM (#1323906) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Juan P-B Oi! I've only bin away two weeks and everybody's picking on Martine Gibson - STOP IT! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and....... Oh Hello Nurse! Time for my medication already? Thank you Nurse |
|
11 Nov 04 - 07:35 PM (#1323976) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: frogprince padding in a coffin... snot on a necktie... |
|
11 Nov 04 - 08:11 PM (#1324018) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Rapparee ...a bicycle to an amputee. ...blanks in a firefight. ...another iceberg to the Titanic. ...a clumsy mohel. |
|
11 Nov 04 - 08:40 PM (#1324054) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Alba .....Eyeglasses for the earless .....a Condom with a rip .....Contraception after Menopause .....a rubber dart .....a chocolate Trumpet .....The Christmas present I bought a Relative last year...(she hated it... and now I have it back under the bed cause I don't like it either:>) Blessings Jude |
|
11 Nov 04 - 08:47 PM (#1324061) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: McGrath of Harlow A wart. A sundial at midnight. Playground insults among adults. |
|
11 Nov 04 - 09:31 PM (#1324084) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Ebbie Segue here... Many -if not all - male mammals have teats. When my daughter was 8 years old we got a male puppy. I was in the other room when she called me. Mom, she said, Rennie's got a tick! I said, OK, I'll be there in a minute. She said, Here's another one. He's got two! I said, OK, OK, just a minute. She said, Here's another one! I said, Kelly, are they in a row? She said, Yes...? |
|
11 Nov 04 - 09:34 PM (#1324091) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Once Famous Ebbie, you think about male teats all you want. I'll think about Pamela Anderson. then again, I have seen some fat guys who could use a bra. |
|
12 Nov 04 - 12:41 AM (#1324251) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Ebbie There are exceptions, I grant you, MG. You, for instance. You gotta be normal. |
|
12 Nov 04 - 06:24 AM (#1324405) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST As welcome as a fart in a space-suit As welcome as a pork-chop at a Bar Mitzvah |
|
12 Nov 04 - 08:32 AM (#1324460) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST,Sooz (at work) .. an anonymous guest? |
|
12 Nov 04 - 08:51 AM (#1324475) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST 46 posts already and no one has said Screen door on a submarine |
|
12 Nov 04 - 06:39 PM (#1325060) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: skipy Screen door on a submarine Skipy |
|
12 Nov 04 - 06:46 PM (#1325066) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: frogprince Forgive me if this is being too serious: Nuclear weaponry in a sane world. Clothes to go swimming in. |
|
12 Nov 04 - 07:13 PM (#1325087) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Georgiansilver A 34b on Dolly Parton! |
|
12 Nov 04 - 07:21 PM (#1325095) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST Porch on a Submarine is one I've heard in use |
|
12 Nov 04 - 07:23 PM (#1325096) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: frogprince LOL Georgian. |
|
12 Nov 04 - 08:17 PM (#1325125) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: McGrath of Harlow A pair of boots are for a snake. A parachute for a parrot. A hairbrush for a hedgehog. |
|
12 Nov 04 - 09:03 PM (#1325163) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Cruiser "Worthless as teats on a boar hog" A gilt that is the daughter of a boar possessing few, misplaced, or malformed teats is genetically predisposed to the same undesirable characteristic. Hog breeders will keep gilts with at least 12 well-placed teats and will not keep others as brood sows for farrowing. So, teats on a boar and the sow are important in brood stock. Cruiser Oh, to the question at hand: about as much use as a milk bucket under a bull's prepuce (unless that is all you have and need semen for artificial insemination, but I will leave THAT chore to other "handymen" and I'll handle the milking of the cows). |
|
12 Nov 04 - 09:06 PM (#1325166) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: McGrath of Harlow True enough, quite a lot of these "useless" things can be quite useful. For example, if you have a load of fish to carry about, a bicycle can be quite a handy thing to use. |
|
12 Nov 04 - 09:40 PM (#1325201) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST,Diogenes Georgiansilver, if I wanted attention, I wouldn't live in a tub in the middle of the desert. But on second thought, I guess Martin Gibson is not completely useless. Anyone who can fart the entire Bach "Toccata and Fugue in D Minor" is really quite accomplished. |
|
12 Nov 04 - 11:00 PM (#1325278) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: kendall A pig skin Koran |
|
12 Nov 04 - 11:05 PM (#1325286) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: The Fooles Troupe ... as a loose prick in a brothel... |
|
12 Nov 04 - 11:11 PM (#1325295) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Bert A lady with a Navvy's pick. (I said PICK) |
|
13 Nov 04 - 12:24 AM (#1325337) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Cluin "...tits on a nun" we always said. |
|
14 Nov 04 - 02:38 AM (#1326238) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: dianavan |
|
14 Nov 04 - 02:40 AM (#1326239) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: dianavan hit the button by mistake now I have to think of something... ...... I'm baffled. a pen without ink? d |
|
14 Nov 04 - 04:16 AM (#1326252) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Hrothgar ...a hatful of spare armpits... |
|
14 Nov 04 - 04:22 AM (#1326253) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Georgiansilver Or hair under Julia Roberts armpits?? Not sure why that caused such a storm in the press...I like hair... women with hair...why not? Best wishes. |
|
15 Nov 04 - 12:43 AM (#1327013) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: YorkshireYankee ...leaves on a railroad track. ...good taste in a Turner prize winner. As welcome as... your lover's ice cold feet in a toasty warm bed. |
|
15 Nov 04 - 04:26 AM (#1327084) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Georgiansilver A guitar with no strings! A G-string on a wash board! A drumstick without a drum! A one armed window cleaner! A pig with wings! A computer without a keyboard! A dog with a keyboard! (Don't ask where the inspiration came from for the last two) Best wishes. |
|
15 Nov 04 - 07:38 AM (#1327199) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: C-flat ....a rubber ladder. ....an elastic toilet chain. Both of these gems were directed at me by my school rugby coach. C-flat. |
|
15 Nov 04 - 08:13 AM (#1327229) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST ...Hellen Keller with a microphone. |
|
15 Nov 04 - 08:16 AM (#1327230) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST ...Stevie Wonder with a pair of binoculars. |
|
15 Nov 04 - 08:35 AM (#1327247) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST,Frug Pork Pie at a Barmitzvah ?? Frank |
|
15 Nov 04 - 08:45 PM (#1327995) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Don Firth dianavan, even worse than a pen with no ink is ink with no pen around it! Don Firth |
|
16 Nov 04 - 11:51 AM (#1328709) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST,Chief Chaos A bishop in a brothel A priest doing marriage counseling |
|
16 Nov 04 - 12:39 PM (#1328766) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: George Papavgeris "Flies" for a spacesuit. Damp firecracker on 4th July. A side of bacon at a Bar Mitsvah Warm clothes in Hell. |
|
16 Nov 04 - 05:18 PM (#1329097) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST a bottle of crisps a pocket in a shift ( this last one from my late granny who would have worn such an old fashioned undergarment...) |
|
16 Nov 04 - 05:55 PM (#1329124) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: YorkshireYankee ...glass hammer (a popular British saying) ... Microsoft tech support And here's a Yorkshire favourite:"Daft as a brush wi'out handle." |
|
17 Nov 04 - 12:26 PM (#1330069) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST,Chief Chaos Yorkshire Yankee - your post reminds me of what I considered about the greatest waste of taxpayer money. Former VP Al Gore had an award called the Hammer Award given out to those individuals and agencies who made an impact on easing the public burden through tax savings, efficiency upgrades etc. The award was a standard store bought hammer (which they probably payed $200.00 for) mounted slanted against a blue velvet mat in a gold frame (which I would estimate to have cost approx. $70.00 apiece) What good is it giving me a hammer that I can't use? |
|
17 Nov 04 - 01:15 PM (#1330127) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: wysiwyg Tits on a boar hog. ~S~ |
|
17 Nov 04 - 01:16 PM (#1330130) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Chris Green The "s" in "lisp." |
|
17 Nov 04 - 01:47 PM (#1330157) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: George Papavgeris Viagra for a eunuch? A Dutch cap for Sunday church? |
|
17 Nov 04 - 10:29 PM (#1330667) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST,Tony Hip pocket in a singlet is a common one in Australia as is Tits on a Bull. Slight thread creep in honour of one of my work colleagues: Couldn't organise ... a piss-up in a brewery, .. a f*ck in a brothel |
|
18 Nov 04 - 10:10 PM (#1331797) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: YorkshireYankee Couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. Couldn't organise a Ladies' night out in a chocolate factory. (That one courtesy of my other half!) |
|
19 Nov 04 - 11:57 AM (#1332466) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: The Beast of Farlington ...something that is no use whatsoever |
|
19 Nov 04 - 03:32 PM (#1332674) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST,Chief Chaos 1 square of toilet paper? |
|
19 Nov 04 - 08:23 PM (#1332987) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: mack/misophist a few I've heard used are: feathers on a catfish a boar hog in sunday school trying to herd cats/snakes |
|
20 Nov 04 - 11:04 AM (#1333578) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Cluin ...a drunken wing man. And thereby hangs a sordid tale |
|
20 Nov 04 - 05:42 PM (#1333939) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Strollin' Johnny ....a candy-floss door-knocker ....a chocolate teapot ....a w**k in a brothel others of a similar ilk:- It's like trying to knit fog ...........trying to plait shit |
|
20 Nov 04 - 10:39 PM (#1334154) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: wysiwyg it's about as much use as....... / Popular Views of the Bush Administration ~S~ |
|
09 Dec 04 - 10:07 AM (#1351968) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: GUEST,Rob ... an ashtray on a motorbike. |
|
09 Dec 04 - 02:13 PM (#1352181) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Ebbie Chief Chaos, you surprise me. I thought you paid more attention to accuracy than that. "The Award is the Vice President's answer to yesterday's government and its $400 hammer. Fittingly, the award consists of a $6.00 hammer, a ribbon, and a note from Vice President Gore, all in an aluminum frame. More than 1,200 Hammer Awards have been presented to teams comprised of federal employees, state and local employees, and citizens who are working to build a better government. " |
|
09 Dec 04 - 03:19 PM (#1352234) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: Ebbie Drat. Try Again |
|
10 Dec 04 - 03:26 PM (#1353362) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: michaelr ...varicose veins on a peg leg. |
|
10 Dec 04 - 04:55 PM (#1353437) Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as....... From: HuwG Common insults in the UK Armed forces: "As much use as a rubber crutch" "As much use as a concrete cushion" One of mine: "Useful as a haemorrhoid transplant" I believe that Georgiansilver said, "... a computer without a keyboard". Quite apt. Try booting a PC without a keyboard, and it will often say, "Keyboard error. No keyboard detected. Press F1 [or any key] to resume" |