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29 Nov 04 - 10:29 AM (#1342065) Subject: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: wysiwyg Y'all can re-start the hunting controversy again if you want to, but that's not my goal. It's the Monday after Thanksgiving, so in our parts that means it's the legal holiday called Buck Day. Schools' out, everything except restaurants and hunting supply shops are closed. Local hunters (safe, experienced), including farm-raised teens, are out there bagging the first of the year's catch for the freezer, and God bless 'em in the hunt. They are joined annually, however, by yayhoos from the flatland who have been known to shoot (by mistake) each other, farm goats, large dogs in their yards, house windows, and, occasionally, things stored up in our attics. I sit between two prime hunting spots, literally-- one blaze-orange-garbed pair are out among the cows out back looking downhill toward my south-facing picture window, and another pair are blasting away on the hill rising in front of my north-facing puder window. They may get ME this year! I can't go out-- don't own a square inch of blaze orange to make a break for the car! Why do we put up with it? Hunters bring big money into the county's very poor economy, keep people working, and we get to have Christmas off it. Well, I love you all, and if they get me, remember me fondly! ~S~ |
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29 Nov 04 - 10:33 AM (#1342074) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: Stilly River Sage If they're on your property you can post it "No Hunting." My mother had an essay in her journal about her cousin, Norman, who was always absent from school for many years on the first day of hunting season in Washington State because his hunting fed his family. The school learned to look the other way. SRS |
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29 Nov 04 - 10:36 AM (#1342081) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: wysiwyg We rent out house on farm property, so no luck, and the signs don't do much up here on Buck Day anyway-- shoot first, apologize later. Too few game wardens to cover the area, and the landowner is a poor farmer who probably needed to give them the OK in return for some other favor. Well, we been here ten years and we ain't got it yet, so why worry? :~) Hell, next year I'm renting out the Mudcat Attic Dorm to some yayhoos for Buck Day week (non-Mudcatters!), so maybe I can teach a few their manners. ~S~ |
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29 Nov 04 - 10:37 AM (#1342082) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull I saw a tv programme recently, it was called "Stupid American People With Guns" [or similar], it showed how americans are all crazy, and go around shooting each other. In the UK last year about 5 people got shot, in America it was about 1 Million [I think]. |
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29 Nov 04 - 10:56 AM (#1342111) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: MMario We used to braid bright pink ribbons into the horse's manes and tails for the first week of hunting season - and the dogs weren't even put on their runs if it was daylight. The burro was self protecting - hunters learned not to get within eyeshot of him as he would announce their presence to the world (Pedro may have been a tattle-tale - but he was an excellent watchburro!) |
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29 Nov 04 - 10:59 AM (#1342113) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: wysiwyg That's what we need, Pedro, to warn off the deer! Yeah, the dogs-- Ruby merely cowers, hearing the shots since dawn from far off that we could not hear. Faulkner was shocked when I made him come right back in after peeing-- loves the cold and would otherwise spend most of the day out on the stair landing, shots or no. ~S~ |
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29 Nov 04 - 11:04 AM (#1342116) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: wysiwyg I had a friend whose grandma used to rent out the cabin on the extended-family farm compound, to the hunters. Charged them up the wazoo for "atmosphere" and fed 'em on cheap ham steaks and homemade pie. Whole family would make out like bandits, especially my friend-- who would perch in her bedroom window each dawn nailing the bucks the yayhoos would inadvertently drive down to her window each morning. Yayhoos make a lot of racket "stalking." :~) Being on private farmland, and having a farm anti-depredation permit to protect the corn, she didn't need a per-deer license, either, so her family ate real well each year! ~S~ |
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29 Nov 04 - 11:10 AM (#1342123) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: Rapparee As one who has and hopes again someday to hunt, I deplore the idea of "Buck Day" AND the damnedfools who degrade name of "hunter." I would, in fact, rejoice in their self-imposed demise except that they usually leave survivors behind to mourn. My old friend, Dave, is a judge in a county in Western Illinois that is known for its deer herds -- and less than 2% of the county is public land. You want to hunt, you either pay or know someone (we know someone). A few years ago a fella from Chicago came down and fired a 12 gauge slug through the wall of a house, narrowly missing a baby. Hangin' Dave wasn't pleased, 'cause Hangin' Dave is a genuine rifleman of the old school and takes a very, very dim view of safety violations, hunting law violations, and foolishness in general. The upshot was that when the Chicago guy appeared in court with hsi Chicago attorney, he plead guilty -- his attorney said that he'd be fined a couple hundred dollars and that would end it. Well, no. Dave fined him $10,000, gave him 180 hours of community service, made him bear the costs of repairs to the house, told him that he WOULD attend hunting safety courses AND pass with a perfect score, forfeit whatever he had with him hunting at the time (including a brand new pickup truck), and forfeit his hunting privileges for five years. I assume that the guy got a new attorney -- and Dave's sentence stuck on appeal! Good. j0hn, a million people a year do not die in gun incidents in the US. The people here aren't any stupider than those in the UK or anywhere else, for that matter. |
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29 Nov 04 - 11:32 AM (#1342151) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: wysiwyg LOL! Hee hee hee! ~S~ |
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29 Nov 04 - 11:34 AM (#1342156) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: Stilly River Sage But the people here DO have virtually unlimited access to firearms and a helluva lot of them died in shootings, so he does have a good point. SRS |
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29 Nov 04 - 11:35 AM (#1342157) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: GUEST,Mingulay It reminds of a very politically incorrect joke I heard some time ago. Two coloured gentlemen from an unsavoury part of New York saw part of a programme on hunting on Channel 3million one day anf thought that it looked to be jolly fun. After all they had the essential equipment, guns and a pick up truck, so they headed on out to the backwoods. Being city boys and somewhat unsure of hunting etiquette they found that the use of the car horn and lights, not to mention automatic gun fire, attracted the attention of a game warden. The warden was not unduly fazed by hunters wearing purple shell suits and dayglo orange trainers wielding machine guns, he just wanted to sell them a hunting permit, which he did and sent them on their way. Our two friends set off again and were soon blasting at everything in sight. Eventually they managed to down a racoon (they thought it was some kind of deer)and following what they'd seen other hunters do, they tied it to the bonnet of the pick up. Proudly displaying their trophy they started to drive out of the park and met the warden again. The warden spots the trophy and is just about to comment on it when one of the hunters asks the warden to tell them what kind of deer it is they've shot. The warden scratches his head and shuffles his feet for a minute, looks at our friends and says 'what you shot is half the name we call you folks around here' and walks off. The two coloured gentlemen look at each other in bewilderment for a moment until, suddenly, the penny drops and they shout at each other in unison 'hey man, we just shot us a motherfucker'. I'm sure Bobert could tell it better. |
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29 Nov 04 - 12:09 PM (#1342188) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: Rapparee Just outside of Dave's hometown is a state prison. The prisoners being inducted in the Fall hear the gunshots of those in pursuit of deer, squirrels, rabbits, pheasant, etc. The guards tell them, "Each of you thinks you're a big man and you think you're going to escape. Hear those shots? Those are hunters. They shoot anything that moves. So go ahead, escape." There have been zero escape attempts. To get to the town you have to take a two lane highway. This makes many of the prisoners think that they are somewhere really, really remote (they're actually about 120 miles from Chicago and the same from St. Louis). One of them actually looked around for people riding mules and was surprised when they had pickup trucks and cars! |
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29 Nov 04 - 01:03 PM (#1342242) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: Big Mick Two coloured gentlemen from an unsavoury part of New York Mingulay ..... What color were they? Your joke starts off very poorly. I am not impressed. Mick |
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29 Nov 04 - 03:37 PM (#1342351) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: Bev and Jerry Many years ago Mad Magazine carried a simulated ad for "cow armor" showing a picture of a cow adorned with a full suit of armor to protect it from hunters. Farther down the page was another ad for "cow armor piercing bullets". Bev and Jerry |
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29 Nov 04 - 04:22 PM (#1342386) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: PoppaGator Thread drift, joke analysis. Mingulay's intro didn't bother me -- he was just trying to be polite/ironic by referring to the thugs as "gentlemen," which is OK. However, the whole thing breaks down over the "half of a name" issue. 1) "Motherfucker" isn't half of any epithet I know -- it's the whole deal, both halves. 2) "Coon" is indeed a rude and derogatory term for black folks, but it's the whole word. If it's half of anything, it's half of "Coonass," a term which refers *not* to people of color but to Cajuns (Acadian French) -- a white ethnic group. It is a formerly derogatory term which has become generally acceptable and sort of humorous. (Cajuns, to their great credit, refuse to get uptight about much of anything.) My friend Armand "Tiger" St. Martin wrote and regularly performs a disaster ballad about an incident several years ago at Jefferson Island, Louisiana, where an oil-drilling drew bored a hole into the top of an underground salt dome (a huge empty space), causing an entire lake to disappear like water in a sink when the plug is pulled. Fishermen in their boats on the lake were understandably terrified, but fortunately no one was sucked below the surface. The chorus of Tiger's song quotes the local sherrif: "Poo-yah, it's the Coonass Mount St. Helen's!" One time when he was performing in a bar, a young black woman, obviously not a local, jumped up and left all in a huff, insulted. Other patrons tried to convince her that she had no reason to be offended, that Coonasses are indeed white people, but she would hear none of it. |
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29 Nov 04 - 04:26 PM (#1342390) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: catspaw49 This very subject introduced Paw and Cletus and Buford to the Mudcat!!! Deer hunting while drunk, a popular pastime, was almost hazardous to the health of Buford. He and Paw and Cletus had a few and then went out to bag a deer. Living in Deer Region 4 in Ohio, this is no great feat as the population is monstrous! Here's the story as Cletus told it later: Catspaw woant lettus have no guns roundt hiz house senz he doan want the kids a gittin into em ur nuthin. 'Course he woan lettus play "Sink the Cheerios" in his toilets no more either. An ta tell yall the truth, me an Paw an the Reg boyz doan use guns too much now senz thet time a few years back thet we had one uv them huntin axseedents. We hadda few an went out ta git us a deer ur sumpin an we wound up gittin our buddy Buford. We dint report it ur nuthin but Paw said a few words over him. EULOGY FOR BUFORD O Lord, take our good buddy Buford into thy Heavenly Herd. He was a good ol' boy who knew that 27 was his limit, 'les somebody else was drivin'. So you gotta' forgive him for wearin' that brown coat with the white fanny pack 'cause it was about all he had left to wear after his ex sicced that lawyer fella' on him for back child support. And God, please bestow your benediction on me an Cletus. We had no way aknowin' that Buford had fallen into that dead and rottin' sycamore and got that funny lookin' branch stuck in his coonskin hat. 'Sides that Lord, there MUSTA' been sumpin' wrong with them three Head Cheese sandwiches that Buford had with his beers. I mean when he has aretchin', well me and Cletus woulda' swore it was a buck in rut. So long Buford, we'll miss yuh. We're awful sorry, but I know you understand...'specially since you had a kinda' similar thing happen a few years back with your ex-brother-in-law, Hiram. Dear God, please take our friend's soul to your bosom and forgive him his earthly transgressions. Cletus and me are gonna' take his beat up ol' pick-up and his Ithaca and leave his dead ass right here...'cause ain't nobody else gonna' miss him. Plus, the S.O.B. didn't have no money and we can't afford no funeral or any more trouble with the Law. AMEN ,br. It all turnt out OK tho an it shor wuz lucky whut we dint bury the ol' boy cuz he wuz jest nocked senseless cuz the shot hit him inna backpack whair he wuzza haulin a 12 pack uv Iron City. So we kinda figgered we shud givvup on either the beer or the guns so we figgered weed stick with the beer. CLETUS So there you have it. even I was happy that Buford was okay although I do regret allowing them to have that celebration party when he turned up okay........ Spaw |
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29 Nov 04 - 07:04 PM (#1342578) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: LilyFestre The hunters here were blasting away this morning before I had even brushed my teeth. I have posted signs along the frontage of our property...NO TRESPASSING...NO HUNTING...etc. Last year I had come home from work to find some yahoo with his truck parked directly in front of the NO TRESPASSING sign. He was meandering through our field. Now...I don't mind that the deer are being hunted (large population that would otherwise not survive the winter due to lack of food) because I know many folks who COUNT on that deer in the freezer...they need the meat for the winter. What I do mind is that this guy had blatantly ignored the sign and was wandering TOWARDS our house and where our livestock is. I stopped the car and just watched him for a minute or two. He looked over his shoulder at me and kept walked. That pissed me off and I (okay, this was NOT smart) honked the horn several times...LONG AND LOUD. I thought THERE...if there were deer here, they are now gone. Meanwhile, the guy with the gun and has started walking back towards me. I didn't say a word until he was about 4 feet away from me. I pointed to the sign and politely said, "NO TRESPASSING. NO HUNTING." He said, do YOU own this land? I said I did and asked him to leave. He turned around cussing away mumbling how he didn't see the sign! I don't know how he could have missed it..big BRIGHT YELLOW signs posted every few feet down the road. He couldn't see those signs but he was going to aim that gun and shoot at something that moved in the bush by God......._()&#$@^$#(*&)(*^^%$ FLATLANDERS! Michelle |
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29 Nov 04 - 10:00 PM (#1342745) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: Gypsy When we had the dairy goats, i would write, in grease pencil, GOAT stem to stern. They also got to wear day glo orange bandanas. I still wouldn't let them out to browse on any foggy days. "Gee lady, you wanna MILK that goat? How 'bout barbecue?" Sigh. They can have the deer, they are locusts with hooves as far as i am concerned. But leave the livestock alone! |
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30 Nov 04 - 04:10 AM (#1342957) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: GUEST,Mingulay Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. As I said, the joke relies on the telling and mere bland words do not do it justice. Perhaps I was not offensive enough, or maybe it's just my accent. In an effort to rectify the accent problem I am just about to undertake a crash course in the lingua franca of certain citizens of the United States of America which involves 7 solid days watching videos of the Jerry Springer show. At the end of this time I expect to be appropriately brain dead. |
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30 Nov 04 - 09:32 AM (#1343166) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: Big Mick The insincerity of your answer prompts me to answer. Racism is ugly, and often very subtle. You might consider the effect your words could have on someone else. And as I understand it, the Jerry Springer Show is immensely popular in Great Britain. One thing is apparent though. When your intellectual depth fails you, just fall into backhanded slaps at Yanks. Mick |
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30 Nov 04 - 09:39 AM (#1343172) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: wysiwyg OK guys, let's get back to arguing gun control, OK? ~S~ |
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30 Nov 04 - 10:22 AM (#1343206) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: GUEST,Mingulay I wholeheartedly agree that racism is ugly, I have seen its effects and do not condone it. I work, live and play in a multicultural society and my friends are drawn from many of those cultures. As for backhanded slaps at Yanks, I work for an American company (the second I've worked for). Yes the Jerry Springer show is fairly popular although it is not on mainstream terrestrial tv, and is I hope, not truly representative of America and the American people. At least it does not equate to the Americans I know and have met, but rather to an underclass not dissimilar to large sections of British society and seems to provide Mr Springer and his audience with a source of great merriment. I always try to think what effects my words have on others and never intentionally seek to hurt or abuse. If you think I have done so here then I apologise. Just one other thing, the original joke was told to me by a West Indian (Afro Carribean) from Jamaica. My version was considerably watered down from the original. |
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30 Nov 04 - 10:39 AM (#1343220) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: artbrooks Who is Jerry Springer? Is his show about hunting? |
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30 Nov 04 - 11:05 AM (#1343247) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: tarheel i was with some hunters years ago before i got married and we came to some unfamliar farm land,so we decided to send ole Joe up to the farm house to ask the folks there for permission to hunt on the land there! well,unbeknownest to us, the ole farmer said ok, but first he wanted ole Joe to shoot his poor ole mule in the pasture there,because it was sick and nothing he could do for it...just put it out of it's misery, was all he asked for!...well ole joe came back to us and he was cussin', stompin', pitchin' a fit! when we asked what was wrong,ole joe said...."that sob,that jackass,that stupid asshole! he made me so mad i'm a gonna shoot his ole mule there!"...and with that,ole joe raised his shot gun and BAM! BAM!!!!!killed the ole mule right there in front of us! well,we had another hot tempered guy with us...ole Fred! as soon as ole Fred saw and heard what ole Joe did,he jumped up and said,"way to go ,joe!!!...you get his mule and i'll get his cow!" BAM! BAM!....it was my last hunting experience! |
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30 Nov 04 - 11:22 AM (#1343271) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: GUEST,Mingulay Jerry Springer - hunting? Not directly, but a lot of game sems to be transfixed in spotlights. |
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30 Nov 04 - 11:41 AM (#1343296) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: George Papavgeris My neighbour used to have a Jerry Springer Spaniel. Not much of a hunter, though it used to chase my cat Archimedes until one day Archie stood his ground and biffed him on the nose. That lost the dog some of his spring - it's a Jerry Spaniel now. |
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30 Nov 04 - 11:47 AM (#1343299) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: GUEST,Mingulay I trust he was not trying to 'screw' Archimedes was he George? |
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30 Nov 04 - 12:07 PM (#1343319) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: Rapparee I agree about the flatlanders, folks. And grew up as one, but my section of Illinois was both rural and blessed with rolling hills and the Big River so I wasn't exposed to concrete canyons and aluminium tree trunks until I was ready to start high school -- and by then it was too late for me to change. The Depression lingered longer where I grew up, and a gun "behind the door" often meant meat on the table. I ate wild duck, squirrel, rabbit -- not deer, for they had not yet reproduced enough to warrant a hunting season (in fact, you got two years in jail if you shot one) -- and enough carp and catfish that even now I sometimes want to jump in a slough and spawn. I also learned to close gates after passing through, how to splice a broken fence wire, how to share your kill with the property owner, when NOT to pull the trigger or release the arrow, how to respect the property of others, how to ask permission to go on another's land, responsible weapons usage, and in general how to be a good neighbor and citizen. Those I grew up with did the same. We're trying to pass these, oh, hell, values on to the next generation. And we seem to be succeeding. |
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30 Nov 04 - 12:21 PM (#1343337) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: wysiwyg Rapaire, those kinds of hunters come here too, and are welcomed gladly as neighbors of the heart. Clearly, you are no yayhoo. :~) It's unlikely you'd even be called a flatlander up here. I was raised in the midwest. Every time I drive back across Indihio in corn season I feel a deep peace, especially in the early evening sunlight when the land has just the right roll to it. ~S~ |
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30 Nov 04 - 05:40 PM (#1343681) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: LilyFestre Rapaire, Now I don't mind that kind of hunting....respectful and safe. I'm thinking you might make some BIG money if you would offer a class in just such a thing for those who come up from New Jersey They run all through our POSTED fields with their 4-wheelers late at night and shine their big giant spotlights into our house in the evening! Our house sits back from the road, in fact, in the summer, you can't even SEE the house....so those yahoos have some REALLY BIG lights for spotting. I almost feel sorry for the deer when those idots come (nearby folk have a house they use for a cabin...yep...from Jersey). Not only that, but the hunters who come often frequent the local bars leaving their wedding rings in the hotel room...you get the idea. I can't tell you how many times I have been approached by a hunter. One time a group of hunters asked me and my two friends if we would go to their room and let them take photos of us.....can't say as I ever had much respect for hunters ever since. They come to hunt deer and women....neither of which I think they respect. Michelle, who wears orange as much as possible and drives an orange truck during hunting season!!!!!! |
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30 Nov 04 - 07:07 PM (#1343754) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: Rapparee Spotlighting deer (jacklighting) is, as far as I know, illegal in all States. Call the game warden or the sheriff or whoever is responsible for such enforcement. It's not until the real, respectful, lawbiding hunters turn in the jerks and fools who pretend to the honorific that things will change. Of course, it would also help if Hollywood would take the lead in this.... |
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01 Dec 04 - 09:59 AM (#1344336) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: wysiwyg Mingulay, I appreciate your post of 30 Nov 04 - 10:22 AM, more than I can say. ~Susan |
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01 Dec 04 - 11:40 AM (#1344427) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: GUEST,Mingulay Susan, I appreciate your appreciation if that makes sense. I felt that I was being unjustly accused of racism and was trying to set the record straight. Might one ask the reason for the appreciation. No problem if you don't want to say. Pete |
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01 Dec 04 - 11:50 AM (#1344440) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: wysiwyg Pete, there are so many layers to racism, so many ways it's a blot on our societies, so many places it's gotten stuck to each and every one of us. Cleaning it up is messy, painful, and grim work most of the time. I often find that people of good heart get into a wrangle about whether something is or is not racist-- the stuck spot tends to sound something like this: "You said/did a bad thing, you're being racist!" (This is well meant but actually jackal-talk.) "I didn't mean to hurt anyone, how can I be racist if that's not at all what I meant??????!!!" (This of course is a defensive protest at a perceived attack.) When I hear this kind of exhange, MY translation often is: "What you said/did hurt me and I know it's the kind of thing that has hurt others." (This is heart-talk.) "I didn't mean to hurt anyone, and that's not what at all what I meant-- help me see how to keep from causing harm." (More heart-talk.) I found your joke painful, and I didn't know what to do or say about it. (I usually PM in hopes of discovering a relationship that will stand the messy stuff.) What your post did was restore heart-talk, to use shorthand. You yielded when many people shoot back (defensively). It has made a difference in a situation I'm not at liberty to describe, and it felt GOOD. ~Susan |
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01 Dec 04 - 12:08 PM (#1344459) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: GUEST,Mingulay Susan, so sorry that the joke caused you (and/or anyone else) any pain. That was certainly not the intention and I'm glad to have cleared that up. It does make me wonder, however, how many people would have regarded the original teller of the joke as racist given his ethnic background. Sorry you couldn't PM me, you would have been welcome to do so, but until I get a working PC at home again I'm afraid I only have access via work. That being said, it is now home time, turn off the computer, snuff out the candle and leave a new quill prepared for the morrow. Regards - Pete |
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01 Dec 04 - 12:11 PM (#1344464) Subject: RE: BS: God Help Us, It's Buck Day Again From: wysiwyg Well met, Pete. ~S~ |