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BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread

02 Dec 04 - 12:15 AM (#1345091)
Subject: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell

Sir jOhn from Hull has lost his thread.
We are afraid it must be dead.
He started it upon Wednesday,
then looked around, it'd gone away.

Sir jOhn wondered where it had gone,
and so began another one
inquiring of the first thread's fate.
Oh, what a mess he did create!

For that thread was deleted too
as quick as you could say, "skidoo"!
He only asked," Where'd my thread go?"
The answer, now, he'll never know.

Each time his question he'd repeat
the answer was the same: "Delete!"
Now jOhn's thread's fate, it is unknown
except by some irate Joe Clone.

Now to jOhn's rescue we have come,
beating upon Free Speech's drum,
to ascertain the reason why
poor Sir jOhn's thread was made to die.

We surely hope that it was not
merely because jOhn is a sot,
a drunkard with a pickled brain
whose threads are often quite inane.

For relevance and worth should be
determined by the treatment we
give to the thing, yes, and not by
a censor in some tower on high.

Now if somebody should decide
that this thread they cannnot abide
and choose to send it to its doom,
sweep it away as with a broom,

then they can rest assured it will
rise up again (like daffodils?)
in places they won't think to peek
(I freely admit I'm a sneak)

until the answer we do know
to that question that irks us so.
You know the answer, tell us Joe,
just where the hell did jOhn's thread go?


02 Dec 04 - 12:22 AM (#1345094)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Peace

Brvao.

Waht thred?


02 Dec 04 - 12:37 AM (#1345105)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell

I dunno. Ask jOhn what it was about. I only write the pomes.


02 Dec 04 - 03:29 AM (#1345196)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Joe Offer

I regret that I cannot say
What happens to threads when they go away
Sometimes, it seems they never leave
And that can give us cause to grieve.

You may think the deletion was hasty
But I gotta tell ya, the thread was nasty
I'd comment on Bee-dubya's doggerel
but for the life of me, I can't think of anything that rhymes with "doggerel"....


-Joe Offer, deteriorating quickly-


02 Dec 04 - 03:33 AM (#1345201)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Paco Rabanne

This is a thread of most excellent fancy. What tune did you have in mind, so I can sing it at him?


02 Dec 04 - 03:37 AM (#1345203)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: GUEST,beardedbruce

can you spell
doggerel?
what the hell,
who can tell?


02 Dec 04 - 03:41 AM (#1345207)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: GUEST,Mingulay

This thread is obviously canine oriented. Can we please have more references to our feline friends

pomes on Moggerel if you will.


02 Dec 04 - 08:15 AM (#1345322)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Jeri

Believe editors
Have heads up asses?
They must strive
To appease the masses!

Note:
It's 'asses' this time--
'Arses' doesn't rhyme.


02 Dec 04 - 08:47 AM (#1345358)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: The Fooles Troupe

No, it's 'Arses' don't rhyme!


02 Dec 04 - 09:41 AM (#1345401)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Jerry Rasmussen

Having read the thread, I applaud Joe for deleting it. To me, along with freedom comes some level of responsiblity. The thread was the most racist, obnoxious thread that I've read on Mudcat. And I've read some mighty obnoxious ones in the last three years. I like John and find him entertaining and amusing most of the time. But, rather than howl about freedom of speach, I'd ask why people think it's alright to post such extremely racist comments as John did. Is it alright to express racist philosophies? How about a Hitler thread saying it was alright to exterminate Jews? I have no sympathy with peo0ple who post racist philosphies and then complain because they've been deleted.

Chalk up one "Way To Go" for Joe and the mythical (imaginary) clones!

Jerry


02 Dec 04 - 10:58 AM (#1345462)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Rapparee

I saw it too, Jerry. I'm glad it's gone.

Here's some cat haiku -- I didn't write it.

Cat Haiku

The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.
----

So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle's closer.
----

There's no dignity
In being sick -- which is why
I don't tell you where.
----

Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.
----

Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service: none.
----

Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow's taken.
----

Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost interest.
----

The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.
----

My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?
----

Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.
----

My affection is conditional.
Don't stand up,
It's your lap I love.
----

Cats can't steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail's
Pulled again, I'll learn.
----

I don't mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.
----

So you call this thing
Your "cat carrier." I call
These my "blades of death."
----

Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
You're an idiot.


02 Dec 04 - 11:22 AM (#1345489)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell

I didn't see the original thread. I only saw jOhn's subsequent thread asking where his thread had gone. In fact, I was in the middle of posting some meaningless drivel to that subsequent thread when it also was deleted.   

Please rest assured that my bit of doggerel was not intended as any criticism of Joe et al for doing a thankless job, but as a, hopefully, humorous response to some of the dynamics of this forum. That Joe responded in the same vein as the original indicates to me that he, at least, interpreted the post as the light-hearted fun-poking it was intended to be, not as serious criticism.

I apologize if it appears that I was trying to defend any post which was, in fact, scurrilously offensive.


02 Dec 04 - 11:31 AM (#1345498)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Jerry Rasmussen

No apology needed bee-dubya-ell. I took your post in exactly the spirit you intended it, and so did Joe. I take Rapaire's post as a light-hearted, humorous antidote, and appreciated it. Kinda like taking a spoonful of sugar after one of Castor oil.

Jerry


02 Dec 04 - 11:02 PM (#1345952)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Joe Offer

Well, I'm still looking for a decent rhyme for "doggerel." Beardedbruce did pretty well, I admit...

I have to stand up for John, because I believe in him, and I like him a lot. John told me his post was an attempt at irony, to try to show the folly of racism. When I attempt irony, I usually fall flat on my face. I do about the same when I try to tell a joke. So, I think that the thread was a failed attempt at irony, not real racism. I think John would agree with that.

-Joe Offer-


02 Dec 04 - 11:44 PM (#1345964)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Clinton Hammond

"I'm still looking for a decent rhyme for "doggerel."

Well, how about -'jogger'll'- as in "You missed him this time but I'm sure that jogger'll be back around to this side of the block again in no time"


03 Dec 04 - 12:07 AM (#1345979)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Bobert

Well, thankee very much, Jerry for saying what I would have said.... and kinda did... No, make that did in a post right after jOhn posted the initial thread...

Like I siad. "I hope you are trying to be facitious 'cuase if yer not this thread needs to go in the toilet".... 'er somethin' like that...

I usually enjoy jOhn, but not this time. Mankind has come too far for that kinda thinking... even if is intended to be a joke.... IT ISN'T!!!...

Went way too far, pal...

Bobert


03 Dec 04 - 02:12 AM (#1346032)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Joe Offer

Clinton, how 'bout:
    That poetic blogger'll
    Kill you with his doggerel
-Joe Offer-


03 Dec 04 - 02:30 AM (#1346034)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Clinton Hammond

See... there are all kinds of options Joe...


03 Dec 04 - 03:00 AM (#1346048)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Rustic Rebel

Words are meant for dispelling thought
Be it right or be it snot.
Sir jOhn from Hull has made me see,
I can be as drunk as he.
So let the words drip, as if they were snot,
my nose can handle it,
but my brain, can too.




(Ha!)


03 Dec 04 - 03:22 AM (#1346055)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Skipjack K8

......I'd comment on Bee-dubya's doggerel
if I'd rhymed it with sweet bugger all!


03 Dec 04 - 07:54 AM (#1346212)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Pied Piper

That was my first thought Skipjack K8.
PP


03 Dec 04 - 08:03 AM (#1346218)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: John MacKenzie

The rhyme of the logger'll
Sound just like doggerel
When he tries to rhyme Sir J0hn of Hull
With surgeon of Hull in hospitull.
Giok
[I'll get me coat]


03 Dec 04 - 08:29 AM (#1346244)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: freda underhill

Twas a dark and lonely night
And all the world did sleep
When through the mudcat black hole
The missing thread did creep

With the grace that comes of caution
The missing thread did tread
As it determined with a vengeance
Better dead than read.

As gutters watched and slimy rats
Pursued the random roach
With midnight stealth the jaded thread
the cemetery encroached

And down that long and weary route
Past many headstones grey
along faded paths and winding thoughts
the missing thread did stray

and lay itself in a quiet place
to ponder, all alone
why words are written in the sky
or carved into stone

to be itself, the thread divined
was a moment, peace to be
without the posts of a million thoughts
tattoo'd like a memory

a vast, unfolding, memory
of a million different minds
speaking, shouting, arguing
they are the posts that bind

and the thread went quiet, what was best?
To hide? Alone to ponder?
Or to wind and unfold on an unknown path
With company to wander..

And so the thread rose up and turned
And back to the lights did tread
Deciding that, for future it was
Better read than dead.


03 Dec 04 - 09:15 AM (#1346293)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Bill D

If your thread


Has disappeared


It no doubt was


Overtly weird

    Burma Shave


03 Dec 04 - 10:04 AM (#1346339)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Hand-Pulled Boy

jOhn what have I told you about working with children and animals? You're bound to come unstuck. It happens all of the time. Your words of wisdom are open to interpretation if you don't use the 'spell-check'! Wristy slap.


08 Dec 04 - 04:55 AM (#1350752)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull

For anyone that did not see the thread, and wonders waht all the fuss is about, there are copies of it in 2 current threads, "The Gallery of Mudcat Quotations", and the current "BNP" thread.


08 Dec 04 - 07:34 AM (#1350837)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: Georgiansilver

Sat on the loo I tried to think,
Of a word that rhymes with doggerel.
I couldn't think of a single rhyme,
Until I used the Bog-roll.

Well it is sort of close eh??
Best wishes.


08 Dec 04 - 05:01 PM (#1351289)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: *Laura*

sir jOhns thread was lost
when people tried to find it
they started rhyming

(haiku)


09 Dec 04 - 08:45 AM (#1351911)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: s6k

omg bee dubya, you legend, that must be sung to j0hn one time at marlborough! any takers??


09 Dec 04 - 10:17 AM (#1351979)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: GUEST,heric

You mean the one which ends with "There, now I've covered all the points you had to raise [josh & Timbo], now kindly fuck off." ??
THAT's what sparked this firestorm??


09 Dec 04 - 10:25 AM (#1351989)
Subject: RE: BS: Ode to Sir jOhn and His Lost Thread
From: GUEST,heric

Not to criticize the janitors around here who have to clean up so much mud, but reading what people said about jOhn's comments without the seeing the comments he had made me believe there was some twisted sick side to him that briefly bubbled to the surface. Thanks for the quote jOhn, and restoring my faith in the grand glory of Hull.