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11 Dec 04 - 03:24 PM (#1354168) Subject: BS: About Those #$@!-Reduction Candles From: Hollowfox Since George Ward asked baout them, I'll let you all in on their secret history, how to get them, and so on. It all starten in the early 1980's. It was late winter and the weather was miserable. Looking out the window was like looking into a dirty aquarium. The sky was always cloudy, there was no snow on the ground, everything was gray and depressing. I took to lighting a candle on my mantle as a gesture of defiance against the dismal. Our neighbors across the street started doing the same, and we could see each others' candles through the dark. It was kind of fun and made us all feel a bit better. Fast forward to a few years ago, about the time I joined the 'Cat. I was going through a rough patch, and as I was housecleaning I came across some ugly candles. Remembering how those other candles had made me feel better, and needing some defiance against the dismal, I lit one. then I thought, "Well, burning this gets rid of a little of the ugly in the world." Then I found some candles of, er, an unfortunate color. You see where this is going, right? Then somebody on the 'Cat needed a little bucking up, so I said I'd burn one for whoever it was. And being the nearest living 'Catter to Spaw, naturally the official title grew to the current official Gen-u-ine Purebred Midwest !@#$-reduction Candle. "!@#$" is pronounced like you're clearing your throat, by the way. So you don't have to make a special purchase; these are the candles that have cracked or warped, the ones you ended up with from a garage sale because you wanted something else and had to take them as well, the ones of some ghastly color you got as a gift. I don't claim that there's any magic, religion, or psychology involved. I just have thoughts of love and concern - whatever's needed - for the person who needs it when I light the candle. Also please note... I don't try to decide on a preferred outcome. I've read the Monkey's Paw. I just hope to make the path, no matter where it goes, a bit easier to travel. |
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11 Dec 04 - 04:36 PM (#1354232) Subject: RE: BS: About Those #$@!-Reduction Candles From: wysiwyg Been there, seen 'em. She has billions (almost) and they all show evidence of use or ready-to-use/nearby storage. As I recall, most are pretty fat/big/chunky. Sized for the need, clearly. Somebody at Mudcat always needs a little *ucking up, so it's a good thing she has so many. Her teenlings seem to take a good lesson from this approach to #$@!-, too. Ours are used ivory or white or cream pillars, leftover from Christmas decor at church. After a few years' re-use, they are too short to show well in the hurricane glasses that cover them, or to peek above the garland of green around the base. Or the colors get a little funky with age. In our old country house, tho, they're great when the power goes out, electric or otherwise. I dunno if we have reduced any #$@!-, but we have kept from bumping into things in whatever darkness may be happening. Some of 'em smell nice, too. I had to trim mine because they had not been brought up right. Apparently, to make sure a new candle always burns with the right amount of melted wax in the pool, yer sposed to trim the wick, light them, and let them burn a half hour, and after that they "always burn right." Ours had melted way-deep wells, and the candles would go out. So I had to pare off a couple of inches cuz the wicks were drowning. To do this, light the candle, and pare down in a spiral a little at a time as the flame softens the wax, until the well is gone entirely. Trim the wick and let it burn a half hour. No problems since then. It quickly forms a new well that WORKS and makes that pretty glow. No more drowned wicks. ~Susan |