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20 Jan 05 - 10:11 AM (#1383168) Subject: BS: Mistresses From: Virginia2 I just read a book where someone said they were someone's mistress. It seems an old fashioned word now. Is it still appropriate? Does a mistress need to be a kept woman, or is it just used for a 'girlfriend'? And what is the male equivalent? V |
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20 Jan 05 - 10:15 AM (#1383172) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Leadfingers A Mistress is what comes between a Master and a Mattress . |
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20 Jan 05 - 10:16 AM (#1383174) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: John MacKenzie Gigalo, Toy Boy, Lucky Bastard! Giok |
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20 Jan 05 - 10:18 AM (#1383176) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: GUEST My wife will HAVE to be a kept women, she's just run of with her boss so she aint getting jack shit from me. Shes a mistress and shes missed the point |
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20 Jan 05 - 10:19 AM (#1383180) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Stilly River Sage Ben Franklin wrote an essay on the selection of a mistress. I can't confirm that his advice is followed these days. One gets the idea that kept women these days are also arm candy. Benjamin Franklin, Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress (1745). Link to text June 25, 1745 My dear Friend, I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. Your Reasons against entering into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient. But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these: i. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable. 2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman. 3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience. 4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes. 5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding2 only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement. 6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy. 7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy. 8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!! Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend. |
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20 Jan 05 - 10:20 AM (#1383183) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Stilly River Sage ah, redundancy. . . |
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20 Jan 05 - 10:23 AM (#1383188) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Amos Ah, Benjamin, Benjamin; would such wit and style of Pen could be found somewhere on Earth today!! LOL!!Thanks, SRS. A |
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20 Jan 05 - 10:28 AM (#1383193) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: GUEST,Mr Red - a born again bachelor - thank God paramour, lethario, rake. My ex wife was my stress> |
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20 Jan 05 - 10:47 AM (#1383212) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: wysiwyg Where can I get one? ~S~ |
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20 Jan 05 - 11:46 AM (#1383255) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Bert I would apply WYSILUV, but Tree would beat the crap out of me ;-) |
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20 Jan 05 - 11:53 AM (#1383264) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: GUEST,Mrr I thought a mistress was a woman who's sleeping with a married man and isn't the wife. I don't think she has to be kept, though. |
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20 Jan 05 - 11:55 AM (#1383267) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Schantieman I like to refer to my, erm, other half, as my mistress. She like it too! Both of us are divorced (but not from each other). S |
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20 Jan 05 - 12:03 PM (#1383272) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: wysiwyg Bert, better sign on as a couple then. :~) ~S~ |
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20 Jan 05 - 12:21 PM (#1383292) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: GUEST,Nic Definitely kept - Quiet |
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20 Jan 05 - 12:22 PM (#1383296) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: John MacKenzie Hey! marriage is good, cos unless you're married you can't commit adultery. Yo!! Giok |
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20 Jan 05 - 12:34 PM (#1383312) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Cluin Yep, Dommes are usually a pretty expensive service, I hear. The equipment isn't cheap. |
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20 Jan 05 - 12:35 PM (#1383314) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: GUEST,Anonymous I have been a mistress for just over a year and i do not get paid for the services that i provide. |
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20 Jan 05 - 12:51 PM (#1383328) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Bunnahabhain Trying to keep two women happy at once? Has anybody got enough time and energy? |
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20 Jan 05 - 12:54 PM (#1383330) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Cluin Oh yeah... it's about keeping the WOMEN happy... |
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20 Jan 05 - 12:58 PM (#1383337) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Amos Jaysus!! Those instructions to "submissives" on the Dommes link are stomach-turning!! Maybe SM isn't for me? A |
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20 Jan 05 - 12:58 PM (#1383339) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Bunnahabhain Well, if you don't you're bound to be in more trouble. And that's assuming they don't find out about each other..... |
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20 Jan 05 - 01:02 PM (#1383346) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Cluin Like Billy Connolly said: "Och! The things people are doin' tae each other!" |
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20 Jan 05 - 01:18 PM (#1383370) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: McGrath of Harlow "Bit on the side" is an equal opportunities term. |
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20 Jan 05 - 01:20 PM (#1383372) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Emma B for a great tribute to a mistress read "Lenten Thoughts" by John Betjeman or - much better still - listen to it with musical accompianment on the "Banana Blush" CD |
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20 Jan 05 - 01:51 PM (#1383411) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: McGrath of Harlow I suppose the logical term "Master" isn't on because there'd be an implication it was intended to be taken seriously, whereas "Mistress" has an element of pretence about it. |
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20 Jan 05 - 01:54 PM (#1383418) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Amos If you get a chance, hear Naemanson singing "I'd Like to Have A Mistress"; a loverly tune. A |
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20 Jan 05 - 03:41 PM (#1383516) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Stilly River Sage There is a difference between a participant as mistress versus being involved in a love affair. In the literary sense, at any rate, a mistress is supported in some substantive way, with either a residence or some form of income. If you're acting as a mistress, dealing with the inconvenience of having that relationship around a married man's home life but without that support, then you're not a mistress, you're a bit on the side, even if it is a long-term basis. When newsman Charles Kuralt died, it became public that he had a mistress, who owned property that was, unfortunately, surrounded by land claimed by his wife. There were difficulties. It looks like the mistress finally received the acreage, but for a time it was quite messy. In other trials, there was a story a year or two ago about a woman who had been promised a payment by the man who offered her partial support over the years of their relationship. Because of the state in which this occurred, when the mistress approached the wife for the cash, the wife sued for alienation of affection and ended up garnishing the retirement checks of the mistress to get all of the money back that had been paid to her over the years. It's a tough situation to be in. SRS |
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20 Jan 05 - 03:48 PM (#1383522) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Stilly River Sage BTW, my remarks have nothing to do with the links posted to the domination site above. That's a separate issue entirely. |
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20 Jan 05 - 04:03 PM (#1383543) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: GUEST Benjamin Franklins advice on why to select an older woman for a mistress updated with modern style: They don't yell They don't tell They don't swell And they're grateful as hell! I would sign this with my regular Mudcat name, but my wife is in the other room. Oh, re female domination? Most men have a place like that already. It's called "home!" |
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20 Jan 05 - 04:50 PM (#1383598) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Liz the Squeak And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement. And just how did he know? And where do I get an application form?!! LTS |
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20 Jan 05 - 05:06 PM (#1383622) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Bill D 'mistress' always has a ring of 'regularity' and some sort of formal arrangement about it, even if kept mostly quiet....it also kinda implies a single woman, though not necessarily. I knew of a guy who had done VERY well in business who, very briefly, (for a few months) had himself a younger 'trophy girlfriend' to stroke his ego (among other things) as contrast to a fairly plain wife. It soon became obvious that the GF just liked the game and the side benefits, and the guy decided that it wasn't worth messing up his life totally.....too bad more don't see it that way, and sooner. |
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20 Jan 05 - 05:25 PM (#1383642) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Stilly River Sage Oops--one important detail was missing--the wife and the mistress in that last case I cited--the husband died and the mistress approached the wife. I don't think that was clear. |
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20 Jan 05 - 07:43 PM (#1383766) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: McGrath of Harlow "...it also kinda implies a single woman, though not necessarily. Not at all, as our beloved Royal Family continues to demonstrate, in keeping with its traditional way of arranging these things. |
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20 Jan 05 - 07:50 PM (#1383769) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: GUEST,jed I know there are always rumours re Phil the Greek, but who is he meant to be liasing with and is she married to a.n.other? |
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21 Jan 05 - 04:07 AM (#1384050) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Liz the Squeak I was told once that if you are a mistress, don't marry the guy if he leaves his wife, you're just creating a vacancy! LTS |
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21 Jan 05 - 08:11 AM (#1384163) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Crystal I always believed that a mistress is the woman the man tells that he never sleeps with his wife! |
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21 Jan 05 - 08:22 AM (#1384176) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: GUEST,Sooz (at work) My union, now called ATL was the Association of Assistant Mistresses until it combined with the gentleman's equivalent. What does that make me? |
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21 Jan 05 - 08:31 AM (#1384184) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: MudGuard Misdresses are unfitting pieces of clothing ;-) |
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21 Jan 05 - 08:41 AM (#1384200) Subject: ADD: The Mistress (Robbie O'Connell) From: JennyO Amos, I had the pleasure of hearing Naemanson sing "I'd like to have a mistress" when he was here in Oz with Charley Noble. In fact I have a recording of him singing it. Gotta love the ending! I think I should put the words here: The Mistress "I'd like to have a mistress," I told my wife one day "To help me through the middle years, it would suit a man my age" And to my great astonishment, she never said a word She just looked at me as if to say "Now don't be so absurd." "I'd like to have a mistress, no more than twenty one With a figure like a goddess, it would keep me feeling young. She'd make me tea in the afternoon, served on a silver tray Dressed only in her birthday suit or a skimpy neglige." "I'd like to have a mistress, who was tender young and chic, We'd make love in the afternoons, maybe once or twice a week. I'd leave the office early and I'd go round to her flat We'd always have champagne on ice as we'd take a bubble bath. I'd like to have a mistress who would know just what to do She'd have read the Perfumed Garden and the Kama Sutra too And the more I think about it, the more I think it wise " My wife just looked at me and said, "Why don't you advertise?" "I'd like to have a mistress," so ran the ad next day "The work is light, the hours are short and we can discuss the pay" I waited by the phone all day but I got just one reply When she came round for an interview I could not believe my eyes At last I had a mistress who was every dream come true She was sexy, blond and beautiful, 'though she was twenty-two My wife gave her approval, she didn't seem to mind I hardly could believe my luck, they hit it off just fine. It was nice to have a mistress, it seemed so civilized It gave a touch of spice to life, there was always some surprise But then one afternoon, I found a note upon her door Saying our affair was over, she'd not see me anymore I'd like to have a mistress who'd be a little more content And not go running off on me, not saying where she went One I could rely on, who would stay with me through life And not leave me with a note to say she ran off with my wife.
Slievenamon Music (BMI) From recording: Never Learned to Dance - Green Linnet, GLCD 1124 Gotta give credit where credit is due. -Joe Offer- |
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21 Jan 05 - 10:18 AM (#1384290) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: MBSLynne There are also the words paramor - an illicit lover of a married person, (so presumably either sex) and leman - a lover or seetheart, usually an illicit lover()again, probably either sex). The dictionary says that a Mistress is a woman, apart from his wife, with whom a married man has a sexual relationship, usually prolonged. Love Lynne |
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21 Jan 05 - 10:34 AM (#1384302) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: alanabit I always liked that quote in the Good Book which said a man can't have two masters. Fortunately, it seems, mistresses do not fall under that proscription. |
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21 Jan 05 - 11:38 PM (#1384936) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Stilly River Sage Meaning? |
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22 Jan 05 - 05:01 PM (#1385466) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: dianavan Are you a mistress if he doesn't tell you he is still sleeping with his estanged wife? |
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22 Jan 05 - 09:28 PM (#1385625) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Stilly River Sage The wife is what helps define the mistress. Estranged or not. But if you're sleeping with a married man, that doesn't necessarily make you a mistress. Gray comes in again--in this case, a gray area. |
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23 Jan 05 - 10:42 AM (#1386052) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: GUEST At nineteen years of age I was young, naieve and a mistress. The liasion lasted 4 years. I spent four chriatmas mornings wondering what 'he' was doing. I envisioned him surrounded by kids, wife and presents. I spent four birthdays hoping 'he' would get a chance to see me. I went to weddings, christenings and everything else alone. He was 13 years older than me and I assumed 'he' was worldly wise and correct in most things. I grew up and wised up. He stayed with his wife, in their single beds of course. I found true love. He is still substituting that for an opportune shag. I am now older than 'he' was when I knew him. He was a manipulative sad human being. Never able to give without a price. I think to be a successful mistress you need a heart of stone. Because then you will be on even footing. I am ashamed as a woman that I decieved another woman. |
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23 Jan 05 - 11:12 AM (#1386075) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Stilly River Sage One last naive idea needs to be expunged: He stayed with his wife, in their single beds of course. Do you know this because he told you? This was most likely a control mechanism to keep your sympathetic ministrations for as long as he did. It would be more realistic to assume that he's getting it at home also, and is just crafty enough to convince the mistress that he isn't. I've seen relationships similar to yours with much longer duration but in which there were no expectations of any birthday or holiday gifts, just a chance for exciting sex when they could get the time together. They didn't presume the other wasn't getting it at home. Upon the death of the man it became clear that the wife did know about it, and the woman was banned from the funeral. SRS |
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23 Jan 05 - 11:34 AM (#1386095) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: GUEST I knew about the single beds because that is where we very often had (looking back with hindsight) very unexciting sex. I also thought at the time he was probably getting his marital exercises at home. I was proved wrong when I met his wife's girlfriend. Apparently she had denied her lesbian tendencies to have a family. The wife and her girlfriend have had a wonderfully close relationship for the best part of twenty years. Now that her parents are dead she is considering 'blowing her cover' and living her own life at last. I hope she does. Meanwhile 'he' is old and bitter and lonely, accorsding to his family. I can understand any person, male or female who is denied a sexual/loving life at home looking elsewhere. The problem arises when they bring their resentments to the illicit relationship. But at 19 none of that really registered. Now twenty years later,happily married to a fantastic guy, with a healthy sex drive and our four kids to love, I feel pity for the errant husband, because he has never found what he craved. |
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23 Jan 05 - 01:08 PM (#1386185) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: the lemonade lady Thanks Schantieman, It's true I do like it, (other half eh?) 8-) |
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24 Jan 05 - 05:38 AM (#1386871) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: GUEST "Sleeping with a married man"? When my married man and I get the chance to be together there ain't gonna be a lot of sleeping going on!!!! V |
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24 Jan 05 - 06:08 AM (#1386873) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: GUEST You can't beat a mistress - hard enough |
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25 Jan 05 - 10:53 AM (#1388043) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: Dick The Box A kept woman is one who wears mink all day and fox all night ;-) |
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08 Feb 05 - 01:19 PM (#1402691) Subject: RE: BS: Mistresses From: the lemonade lady " I like to refer to my, erm, other half, as my mistress. She like it too! Both of us are divorced (but not from each other). " Yet! 8-) |