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01 Feb 05 - 01:26 PM (#1395830) Subject: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Cluin Those lines which, to you anyway, jump out as being either clumsy or rough or silly or ill-advised or whatever, in an otherwise good or great song. Examples, to me... from Gordon Lightfoot's Mountains and Mary Ann: There'll be hot blooded mountain love (Hot blooded MONKEY love??) from Danny Boy: It's you, It's you... (Gesundheit! And cover your mouth when you sneeze!) from Mac Davis's Texas in my Rearview Mirror: Hollywood was a lady in red, who danced in my dreams as I tossed in bed... (OVERSHARE! OVERSHARE!!) from Stan Rogers' Mary Ellen Carter: And the groan she gave, as she went down... (Alright! Jeez, if you really don't want to do it tonight, let's just watch some TV!) Any more? I know there are. |
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01 Feb 05 - 02:28 PM (#1395900) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Leadfingers Be a shorter list of Brilliant lines in otherwise good songs !! |
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01 Feb 05 - 02:58 PM (#1395935) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Bert It happens to all of us. The other day I was singing my song "There's never a good time for leaving" and I heard the line There's never a good time for going In a different light. |
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01 Feb 05 - 03:40 PM (#1395990) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: McGrath of Harlow In Hard Times: 'Tis a whale that is heard upon the shore... |
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01 Feb 05 - 05:14 PM (#1396085) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Charmion In "Play Me" by Neil Diamond: "Songs she sang to me, songs she brang to me ..." |
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01 Feb 05 - 05:23 PM (#1396098) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Teresa Gods, that previous one bugs the heck out of me, too! Not a folk song, but remember "Blinded by the Light" What the heck are the lyrics after "Blinded by the light" in the chorus. Sounds like "revved up like a doucher in a rumor of the night". :-P what are those called--mondegreens? (sp?) I know there's probably a thread on this somewhere. I'll come back when I think of more. |
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01 Feb 05 - 05:25 PM (#1396100) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: robomatic I dispute the Stan Rogers line above. It's all about context and intonation. Meanwhile, while you're on one of the great wrongliners of modern hist, towit Mr. Lightfoot: Oh, the skyline of torONto is something you'll get ONto..... But they say you've got to live there for awhile And if you've got the MON-ee you can get yerself a HON-ee A written guarantee to make you smile. And o'course Dave Barry loves hectoring Neil Diamond: I am I cried to no one there and no one said a word not even the chair |
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01 Feb 05 - 05:33 PM (#1396102) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Teresa Ok, a nit-pick, and I'm not a gardener.: ...Far beneath the bitter snow, Is the seed, that with the sun's love In the spring becomes the rose. seed? Or that Christmas song ... "I'll be Home for Christmas": And presents *on the tree? Teresa |
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01 Feb 05 - 05:45 PM (#1396107) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Gerry Stan Rogers' song, The Field Behind the Plow, is terrific - provided you can get past the second part of the second line: Watch the field behind the plow turn to straight, dark rows Feel the trickle in your clothes, blow the dust cake from your nose |
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01 Feb 05 - 05:47 PM (#1396109) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Clinton Hammond "What the heck are the lyrics after "Blinded by the light" Racked up like a deuce... another runner in the night... What was it Jimmy Rabbit said about "Whiter Shade O Pale"? "Poxiest bleeding lyrics ever" *walks away singing* 'In and out of the front door rraaaaan... 12 back... door angels Their hair was a golden-brown they didn't see me wink my eye' dirty old man... |
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01 Feb 05 - 06:05 PM (#1396125) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Teresa Thank you, Clinton. another mystery solved. on to the next one, wherever it may be. :) Teresa |
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01 Feb 05 - 06:06 PM (#1396128) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Bee-dubya-ell From the Christmas staple "Sleighride": Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling "Yoohoo!" But of course! I call "Yoohoo!" at least three or four times a day! More often than that if there's a sleigh somehwere nearby! What's the deal? Whoever wrote the thing couldn't afford a rhyming dictionary? Aren't there about 10,000 words in the English language that would make a more sensible rhyme for "you" than "yoohoo"? But, at least he didn't totally cop out like Alice Cooper did in "School's Out": ...and we got no principals and we can't even think of a word that rhymes! School's out for summer... |
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01 Feb 05 - 06:10 PM (#1396136) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: dick greenhaus WEll, there's he memorable line in some versions of "Jam on Gerry's Rocks" where "..They granted her her final wish, to be laid by young Monroe." and the immortal line in one version of "Red River Valley" "....can I leave her behind unprotected..." |
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01 Feb 05 - 06:27 PM (#1396163) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST John Denver....."young Randy(?)in his pain, put a bullet in his brain"....pass the sick bag! |
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01 Feb 05 - 06:41 PM (#1396184) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Amos That's Vandie -- the song is Marcie Darcie, or Farsee Arrow or Dark Sea Barrow or something like that.... :) A |
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01 Feb 05 - 06:45 PM (#1396194) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: sixtieschick Someone left the cake out in the rain.... |
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01 Feb 05 - 06:53 PM (#1396208) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: McGrath of Harlow "songs she brang to me .." "Bring" for "brought" is common enough in quite a lot of dialects. And pronouncing "bring" as "brang" is not such an unusual way of doing it in some places. We don't always notice that kind of thing when it isn't written down. |
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01 Feb 05 - 06:54 PM (#1396211) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Uncle_DaveO Dick Greenhaus said, in part: WEll, there's he memorable line in some versions of "Jam on Gerry's Rocks" where "..They granted her her final wish, to be laid by young Monroe." That brings out that some of these line, seen as bad or awkward today, were fine when originated. It's only with modern turns of phrase and modern dirty turns of mind that they become an embarrassment to the song. Dave Oesterreich |
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01 Feb 05 - 06:54 PM (#1396212) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: sixtieschick Whoops, I'm not sure that's an otherwise good song. In "Someone to Lay Down Beside Me" it always grates to hear: "...Of a world that can be sort of heartless Not like love that I feel in my heart Still you know that may be all you get..." First person? Second person? "Sort of" heartless? YOOOWWWWWWWW. |
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01 Feb 05 - 11:56 PM (#1396519) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: DonMeixner WEll fair is fair Guest, what ever you are, and Amos, John Denver only sang "Darcy Farrow" he didn't write it. That was Steve Gillette. And as to "Field Behind The Plow", Gerry, you never plowed a field with a tractor driving across forty acres of dust on a hot june day have you. That is a purely descriptive and accurate line. Don |
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01 Feb 05 - 11:57 PM (#1396521) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Cluin But not so poetic an image. |
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02 Feb 05 - 12:09 AM (#1396529) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Bobert Pick any line from Bobby Goldsboro's "Honey".... Absolutley the worst song ever written!!!! Makes that song about the cake baked in the rain sound like the "Gone With the Wind" song of the 20th century... |
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02 Feb 05 - 12:37 AM (#1396549) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: goodbar alistair hulett "plains of maralinga" (sp?) "if they'd been white you could bet your backside there'd be holy shit to pay" who the hell says 'backside' and then goes on to say 'holy shit'??? |
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02 Feb 05 - 01:19 AM (#1396574) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Lin in Kansas Someone who thinks they've just made a very funny scatological pun, of course. Bletch... Lin |
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02 Feb 05 - 01:21 AM (#1396576) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Peace Muskrat love. |
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02 Feb 05 - 01:23 AM (#1396578) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Peace Dreamboat Annie, Dreamboat Annie, little ship of dreams. |
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02 Feb 05 - 04:38 PM (#1397056) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Cats 'I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps' - New York, New York...eh? |
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02 Feb 05 - 07:28 PM (#1397244) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Bonnie Shaljean What about this verse, which brings the otherwise haunting "Teddy O'Neill" way down beyond sub-sub music hall farce (no wonder Dolores couldn't bring herself to sing it). Worse still, it's the opener: I've seen the old cabin he danced his wild jigs in As neat a mud cabin as ever was seen Considerin' t'was used to keep poultry and pigs in I'm sure it was always kept elegant clean |
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02 Feb 05 - 07:34 PM (#1397253) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Bonnie Shaljean PS: Don't be misled by the wee boreen and the crossroads and the rambling lane - they're a later improvement. |
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02 Feb 05 - 08:38 PM (#1397300) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Joe_F GUEST,Gerry says: > Stan Rogers' song, The Field Behind the Plow, is terrific - provided > you can get past the second part of the second line: > > Watch the field behind the plow turn to straight, dark rows > Feel the trickle in your clothes, blow the dust cake from your nose Why is the dust cake any less dignified than the trickle? Both show he's been there. * My nominee for the worst line that fails to ruin a good song ("All My Trials") is "And the pilgrims call it the tree of life." The rhyme is "paradise". The vowel in "life" is stretched out over two whole measures, during which the naive listener can wonder whether the word is going to be "lies" or "lice". But then, we come to "Too late, but never mind", and all is forgiven. --- Joe Fineman joe_f@verizon.net ||: Politics is dirty business, and business is dirty politics. :|| |
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02 Feb 05 - 09:05 PM (#1397314) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,leeneia I could never get comfortable with Judy Collins turning "Man of Constant Sorrow" into "Maid of Constant Sorrow." "Maid" is just too cutesy. So I start it like this: I've lived a life of constant sorrow... |
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03 Feb 05 - 12:02 AM (#1397456) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Melani Or that Christmas song ... "I'll be Home for Christmas": And presents *on the tree? It was an old custom to hang small presents on the tree--19th century, and possibly 20th as well. |
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03 Feb 05 - 12:40 AM (#1397479) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: mg I think there was almost a consensus before that the absolute worst line was from a song I forget the name of..come to your life like a warrior nothing can bore yer...actually the rest of the song is quite fine... And for an author who consistently has about one great outstanding verse and several not great ones..Percy French...it's a shame because his good verses are so good.. mg |
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03 Feb 05 - 12:47 AM (#1397484) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Teresa Thanks, Melani. I'm amazed at the things I learn on Mudcat. :) Teresa |
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03 Feb 05 - 12:49 AM (#1397485) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Schoolmaster Mary, Go to bed. |
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03 Feb 05 - 04:28 AM (#1397593) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: RobbieWilson Eric Clapton sang"You talk to me in sign language, while I'm eating a sandwich", but I'm not sure that counts for this thread as it would be stretching it a bit to call that an otherwise good song. Another rhyme which has always made me cringe is from Tom Paxton's "made of sand" As I walk down the street my thoughts are tumblin', round and round, round and round. Underneath my feet the subway's rumblin' underground, under ground" love Robbie |
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03 Feb 05 - 04:40 AM (#1397602) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: BillR >Or that Christmas song ... "I'll be Home for Christmas": >And presents *on the tree? I've always heard that line as: "And presents under tree." Maybe I've been hearing it wrong all these years. -Bill |
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03 Feb 05 - 04:40 AM (#1397604) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Liz the Squeak Seven long years I've been paitently waiting, for just one glimpse of my Willie-O.... Ho hum..... LTS |
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03 Feb 05 - 04:52 AM (#1397612) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Richard And of course:- My Willie's not returning from the plains of Waterloo |
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03 Feb 05 - 05:56 AM (#1397642) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Tunesmith In " Can't Help But Wonder Where I'm Bound", Tom Paxton writes " nail your shoes to the kitchen floor, lace them up and shut the door", But really those actions should surely be reversed - i.e. could you reach the door with your shoes pinned to the ground? |
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03 Feb 05 - 07:49 AM (#1397696) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: CStrong I'm tempted to correct Neil: Songs she brought to me/Songs she taught to me... But then ya need two MORE! |
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03 Feb 05 - 08:05 AM (#1397716) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: robomatic I like the pharase of Guest, Joe's: "worst line that fails to ruin a good song" because I really like the next two songs: Bonepony, a wonderful rockabilly song: "There is a sacred spot upon a mountaintop Beside a river flows, and it don't ever stop" Well, obviously, that river isn't flowing on the mountaintop. I am a devotee of the work of Dan Bern. I recall that in one of his songs he reaches the end with: "I've got to go I need a shave" to get out of it. |
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03 Feb 05 - 10:46 AM (#1397902) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Joe_F In Kipling's "Mandalay": "Though I walks with fifty 'ousemaids outer Chelsea to the Strand" If one is reciting rather than singing that, it is just barely possible, by putting enormous stress on "fifty", to deliver the intended sense (I don't care how many dates I have with Englishwomen). But that won't fit in a tune, so there he is, poor fellow, traipsing along the pavement with his train of 50 housemaids. Ah, but then we come to "I've a neater, sweeter maiden in a cleaner, greener land" and, once again, all is forgiven. How often, on business trips from my commune in Virginia, did I think of that line when I saw the New York women stuck in their fashionable clothes like castings stuck in their dies! --- Joe Fineman joe_f@verizon.net ||: If you do the right thing under duress, you still get credit, but you don't have as much fun. :|| |
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03 Feb 05 - 12:41 PM (#1398050) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST I once saw on Country music tv a guy who was quite good and i was enjoying the song till he took it too far and sang; "I've a burning, yearning, churning, deep inside o'me" Try and sing that without sounding ridiculously Scandinavian! |
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03 Feb 05 - 07:58 PM (#1398419) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Nancy King at work I think the "Cherry Tree Carol" is a lovely song, but have always been uncomfortable with the line, "And Mary gathered cherries while Joseph stood around." Makes him seem like a vagrant or something. Nancy |
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03 Feb 05 - 08:10 PM (#1398435) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Little Hawk Mary, you've got it. The "come to your life like a warrior ('war-yah'), nothing can bore ya" is the worst. Even Shatner could not have topped that if he wrote songs. |
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04 Feb 05 - 03:37 AM (#1398668) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST From Lizzie Wan: "There is a child between my two sides Between my willy and eye." Bit odd, like, her having a willy? |
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04 Feb 05 - 03:52 AM (#1398679) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,John O'Lennaine From Roy Orbison: "Love is like a stove, burns you when its hot." What is this thing called love? Well, it's a bit like a stove, see? |
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04 Feb 05 - 07:12 AM (#1398775) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: The Fooles Troupe What is THIS thing called, Love? But I thought a pianist was someone who plays the piano.... |
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04 Feb 05 - 10:31 AM (#1398925) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Joe_F Guest Nancy: "Stood around", said of one person, is a (I believe) vulgar American, and a tipoff that that stanza is a fairly recent U.S. interpolation. To me, it suggests, not vagrancy, but idle frustration, as in "She immediately chatted up a storm with her ex, while I stood around with my finger etc.". So, yes, that is a funny line; but on the other hand it is so perfectly in the spirit of the original that I have always found it charming. * Sometimes, a word that is not poetic diction can be not only tolerable but an improvement in the poetry. An example, IMO, is in "Angel Band": I hear the noise of wings. I have heard that "corrected" to "I hear the sound of wings". It is true that, in a certain mood, "noise", with its suggestion of unpleasantness, is ludicrous. But that is not the mood for even a skeptic to approach a hymn in. "Noise" makes a startling improvement in vividness. That song, after all, belongs to people who believe they are *saved*, and who know from their Bible that salvation is not pretty. If you were saved, profanely & prosaically, from some earthly misfortune, and contemplated telling about it with a sentence "I heard the blessed --- of a helicopter", would you go for "sound", or "noise", or indeed "racket"? Another example, from "Fox on the Run": She walked thru the cornfield and down to the river. Her hair shone like gold in the hot morning sun. It would have been easy to call the sun bright instead of hot -- a better link with "shone", besides being more "poetic". But "hot" takes us back to the cornfield, back to earth, and even its sexual tinge IMO is not unwelcome. After the gold, and end of romance! That one unexpected word invigorates the refrain & thus the whole song. --- Joe Fineman joe_f@verizon.net ||: You have to die of something. :|| |
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04 Feb 05 - 10:16 PM (#1399640) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Cluin "Abra, Abra Cadabra... I wanna reach out an' grab ya" Whoops, that's not an otherwise good song. The whole thing was shite. |
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05 Feb 05 - 12:32 AM (#1399737) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: LadyJean My prep school's alma mater included the line "We vere the glory of thy name." I don't think vere is even a word. There is a beautiful, tragic song about a man killed working in a steel mill. It was written by a Slavic immigrant, who didn't understand that "East McKeesport! This valley of fire!" is hard to sing with a straight face. Though I have heard Pete Seegar do so. |
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05 Feb 05 - 02:07 AM (#1399771) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: sixtieschick When it's apple blossom time in Orange, New Jersey we'll be a peach of a pair. |
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05 Feb 05 - 07:22 AM (#1399831) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Wrinkles I half remember a song where "Garden of Eden" was ryhmed with "weeding", and a Frank Sinatra gaff were "pleasure" and "leasure" would have ryhmed in the English accent of the composer but not in Frank's American accent. Oh, and the Manfred Man "Blinded by the Light" lyric is "revved up like a duce, another runner in the night" not "racked". A good site for contemporary lyrics and tabs is http://www.thetabworld.com/ It's got loads of links to other similar sites too ;-) Wrinkles |
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05 Feb 05 - 07:39 AM (#1399833) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST Vere is the original - Re-vere is the repeat.... hence the Ritual... The Fooles.... ;-P |
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05 Feb 05 - 12:23 PM (#1399900) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Murray MacLeod I have always felt uneasy about the line "I learned about life and I found a wife" in Phil Coulter's otherwise superb song, "The Town I Loved So Well". IMHO he should either have devoted the best part of a verse to his good lady, or else left her out of the equation completely. A throwaway half line just seems bizarre, to me. Better by far to have written "I learned about life, 'midst the trouble and the strife" |
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05 Feb 05 - 04:58 PM (#1400111) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Michael 'And Joseph stood a round' makes perfect sense in the UK, it means he bought everyone a drink in the pub - whilst Mary did the work. Very traditional. Mike |
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05 Feb 05 - 06:16 PM (#1400167) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: YorkshireYankee Come to your life like a warrior/Nothing will bore ya is from Cris Williamson's "Song of the Soul". And I have to agree, it is a jarring couplet in an otherwise glorious song. But it can (with the right delivery) add a bit of humor to a song about (IMHO) getting the most out of life by not always playing it safe... Come to think of it, Cris Williams was certainly not "playing it safe" by using those lines, so in a strange way, I guess it's appropriate (whether or not that was her conscious intention). |
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05 Feb 05 - 06:39 PM (#1400179) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Midchuck I like the line in "The Grave of Bonaparte," a Victorian chestnut revived by Norman Blake: He eats not, he hears not, he's free from all pain. Perfectly good line in print, but when you sing it... Peter. |
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05 Feb 05 - 08:02 PM (#1400252) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Joe_F LadyJean says: > My prep school's alma mater included the line "We vere the glory of thy name." I don't think vere is even a word. It takes pioneering spirit to vere things so that the rest of us can revere them. > There is a beautiful, tragic song about a man killed working in a steel mill. It was written by a Slavic immigrant, who didn't understand that "East McKeesport! This valley of fire!" is hard to sing with a straight face. Though I have heard Pete Seegar do so. It is an embarrassing fact about English that some of its proper names are poetic diction and some, thru no fault of their bearers, are not. Wyndham Lewis & Lee, in their preface to _The Stuffed Owl: An Anthology of Bad Verse_, remark: "The dragging of the average middle-class surname into serious verse is at all times fatal," and gives among a number of examples Methinks of friendship's frequent fate I hear my Frogley's voice complain. Likewise, if East McKeesport had been Chicago, or even Wilkes-Barre, there would have been no trouble. --- Joe Fineman joe_f@verizon.net ||: Some difficulties present valuable opportunities, and the rest present valuable excuses. :|| |
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05 Feb 05 - 09:54 PM (#1400326) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: JWB Paul Simon's "Wednesday Morning, 3:00 AM" is a lovely song (the slow version, that is -- I hate the later rock and roll version). However, the line I held up and robbed a hard liquor store just doesn't make the grade. What was the protagonist expecting, a building made of sponge rubber? Jerry |
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05 Feb 05 - 10:55 PM (#1400374) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: YorkshireYankee I'm no expert, but I'd guess he meant "hard liquor" (like vodka, whisky, gin) as opposed to things like beer and wine, although I have to admit I've never heard them referred to as "soft liquor". But I *have* heard the phrase "hard liquor" before now... |
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05 Feb 05 - 11:13 PM (#1400392) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: coldjam I immediately thought of Darcy Farrow's "bullet in the brain" line, but alas it had already been laid bare.So how about,"I have a love so deep in the PIT of my heart"? Can't remember the song title at this exact moment...got lost in the pit of my brain I think. |
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05 Feb 05 - 11:15 PM (#1400395) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: coldjam Wait! Ain't too proud to beg, The Temptations. |
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05 Feb 05 - 11:18 PM (#1400398) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST You better love me all the time now You better shove me like it's alive now "You Better, You Bet" The Who / Pete Townsend |
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06 Feb 05 - 05:58 PM (#1401056) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: emjay "You fill up my senses..." John Denver Always sounded to me like a stuffy nose and an unfortunate line in a lovely song. mj |
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06 Feb 05 - 08:03 PM (#1401152) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Gerry Guest wrote, I once saw on Country music tv a guy who was quite good and i was enjoying the song till he took it too far and sang; "I've a burning, yearning, churning, deep inside o'me" Sounds like someone was channelling Tom Lehrer spoofing Cole Porter. This is from Lehrer's version of Clementine: ...imagine what might have happened if, for example, Cole Porter had tried writing this song. The first verse might have come out like this: In a cavern, in a canyon, Excava-ha-ha-hating for a mine, Far away from the boom-boom-boom of the city She was so pretty -- what a pity, Clementine. Oh Clementine, can't you tell from the howls of me This love of mine calls to you from the bowels of me. Are you discerning the returning Of this churning, burning, yearning for you...oo oo...ah ah... |
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07 Feb 05 - 04:46 AM (#1401415) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Peter T. In honor of the Super Bowl: "And in this ever changing world in which we live in" (Paul, Paul, Paul) and who could ever forget -- "The movement you need is on your shoulder" (John's favourite line). The worst Beatle line ever? Hard to pick from so many. "Nothing's going to change my world" is my pick for sheer wrongness. yours, Peter T. |
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08 Feb 05 - 02:18 PM (#1402741) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Chris C Nice thread: There are sooo many examples of the bad or odd line mucking up a fine song. Often it's a reach for a (bad) rhyme. This one has been bugging me lately: on Ray Charles' last CD (Genius Loves Company), he & Bonnie Raitt do the beautiful "Do I Ever Cross Your Mind". The phrase "melancholy jailer" sticks out as kind of strange (to me). Approx lyrics (BTW: These turn up differently, depending on the source): Do you ever want to know If all dreams go on endlessly Or do they just run down Somehow and gradually become The custody of that melancholy jailer father time Is it just me? I can't think of other examples now, but there are lots! ~CC |
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08 Feb 05 - 05:32 PM (#1402987) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Art Thieme Sometimes I'll let a song go and not learn it---just because one line doesn't ring true or isn't what folks'd really say. Often it's a line that's obviously there just to make a rhyme with what came before. I met Grandpa Jones back in '65 or '66 and he sang a song called "East Bound Freight Train" that I thought about learning. It was a half way passably o.k. song--not great though.---But one line in the chorus made the difference and nixed it for me. See if you know which line??!! East bound freight train, East bound freight train, Take me home again, East bound freight train, East bound freight train, Let me ride 'til the end. Art |
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08 Feb 05 - 05:37 PM (#1402992) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Big Mick Let me ride 'til the end? Mick |
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08 Feb 05 - 06:17 PM (#1403040) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: The Fooles Troupe He just wanted to go all the way...... |
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08 Feb 05 - 06:23 PM (#1403046) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Bonnie Shaljean The line that makes it impossible for me to take the other "Freight Train" seriously is the one about it running down "by the end of Bleecker Street". Since when do freight trains run through Greenwich Village? (Or am I missing something?) |
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08 Feb 05 - 08:19 PM (#1403208) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Gerry I think you'll find that in its original form Freight Train went like this: When I die please bury me deep Down at the end of Chestnut Street So I can hear old Number Nine As she goes rolling by Maybe Peter, Paul, and Mary changed Chestnut Street to Bleecker Street, maybe it was someone else, but you know, the Number 9 subway line does go by Bleecker (and I know that when PPM did the song there was no 9 train in the New York subway system, but that just makes PPM prophetic). |
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09 Feb 05 - 06:34 PM (#1403846) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Bert Don't be too hard on the Beatles Peter T. After all they are only bleedin' scousers. Another bad line of theirs. "I do appreciate your being round" Sounds as if they like their judies on the chubby side. |
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09 Feb 05 - 09:25 PM (#1403975) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: MAG I agree with Tersea above (way above) about that phrase in "The Rose." I grow roses myself and I can tell you it is the rare fanatic (breeder)who grows them from seed. Lies the root Lies the life Sleeps the bush/stalk Lies the bud is currently my favorite change, since the flower itself actually comes from a bud. And roses only die down to the ground with a VERY hard freeze. ok, off my soapbox ... folk process: incremental improvements by da folk over time ... |
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10 Feb 05 - 01:03 AM (#1404136) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: LadyJean In church we now and then sing a hymn that includes the lines, "Spirit of the living God fall afresh on me." and "Melt me, mold me, fill me, move me." Is it just me, or are those lines suggestive. I have a terrible time keeping a straight face when I sing it. |
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10 Feb 05 - 01:05 AM (#1404138) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Cluin And why are church choirs always singing about "Bringing in the Cheese"? |
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10 Feb 05 - 08:03 AM (#1404395) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Roger in Baltimore I think it's the Steve Miller Band in a song called "Jack and Diane" who rhyme "Texas" and "facts is" in the same song where they rhyme "big hassle" with "El Paso". Roger in Baltimore |
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10 Feb 05 - 09:11 AM (#1404473) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: The Fooles Troupe As a teenager I found it difficult to sing any hymn in church with a straight face after I learnt about putting "between the sheets" after every line.... Rock of Ages, Cleft for me, Let me hide myself in Thee... Trust me, it gets worse after that.... |
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10 Feb 05 - 09:42 AM (#1404501) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Joe_F Mention of Bob Dylan in another thread reminded me of the following spectacles of nonpoetry: And some of us will grow up to be lawyers and things. With sensitive instincts, she was the creative one. and the ignorant & clumsy diction in Trapped by no track of hours we hanged suspended. --- Joe Fineman joe_f@verizon.net ||: Ten bums lay in the sun; a passer-by offered a dollar to whichever was laziest; nine jumped up to claim it. :|| |
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10 Feb 05 - 06:28 PM (#1405176) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Chris Green When I was a kid we used to have to sing a hymn called "Let Us Break Bread Together On Our Knees". It always gave me a mental image of someone struggling with a stale French loaf. However, the accolade for most buttock-clenchingly piss-poor lyrics ever to befoul the ears of the masses must surely go to the late Marc Bolan. "She's my woman of gold And she's not very old Uh-huh-huh She's faster than most And she's lives on the coast Uh-huh-huh I don't want to be bold But please my I hold your hand." I hope he's up there amongst the angels. Who all have big sticks with nails in and and are saying "NOOO!!! THIS is how you wrote lyrics, you puling fop!" Ahem. Got a tad carried away there. Sorry... |
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10 Feb 05 - 08:08 PM (#1405242) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: coldjam Seems fair to me...! |
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10 Feb 05 - 10:36 PM (#1405363) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: The Fooles Troupe ... took all the trees and put 'em in a tree muse-um, and they charged all the people a dollar and half just to see-um! but all us young people thought Joni was just wunnerful! |
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12 Feb 05 - 11:56 PM (#1407887) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Guest Bert, I believe the Beatles said, "Help me if you can, I'm feeling down And I do appreciate your being 'round," The un-hearable apostrophe replaces "a", just as in another pop oldie, also British: "I'm leaning on a lamp, Maybe you think I look a tramp, Or maybe you think I'm 'round to steal your car". When I'm down, I do like my friends to be around, or "there for me" as we say over here. At least that's how I've always heard "Help!" --Guest Too |
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13 Feb 05 - 01:45 PM (#1408251) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Joe_F Guest Guest: No apostrophe needed, especially in Britain. "Round" as an adverb & preposition is perfectly good English, but more common there than in the U.S. Saying "around" in the lines you quote (besides spoiling the meter) would stamp you as an American. --- Joe Fineman joe_f@verizon.net ||: What is fascinating in a mirror? A world I am not at the :|| ||: center of. :|| |
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14 Feb 05 - 05:58 AM (#1409045) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: JennyO "Riders on the Storm" came on the radio this afternoon, and I heard a line that I remember always grates a bit when I hear it - the next line's not all that wonderful either IMO, but I particularly don't like the "dog without a bone" bit. Riders on the storm Riders on the storm Into this house we're born Into this world we're thrown Like a dog without a bone An actor out on loan Riders on the storm |
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14 Feb 05 - 06:30 AM (#1409066) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: The Fooles Troupe ... now would you be getting confused with "dog without a boner"? ... |
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14 Feb 05 - 07:07 AM (#1409079) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: George Papavgeris Having learned English in later life (and because of that being always in "learning mode"), there are some things that glare at me which native English speakers take for granted. Two examples from traditional English songs: "With a hammer in his hand he looked so clever...". Visions of a rough-looking smithy with vacant expression wielding a 7-pounder...CLEVER, for God's sake? I think not. "She held a rose in each hand...". Are we talking about the goddess Kali here? There are of course many (too many) corny lines in contemporary songs, and C&W has a lot to answer for in that respect. But that's been dealt with in another thread. |
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14 Feb 05 - 07:57 AM (#1409108) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: The Fooles Troupe El Greko - English words can often change their meaning - and for instance that 'clever' may have meant something quite else in the dialect in which the song first appeared... |
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14 Feb 05 - 08:02 AM (#1409114) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: alanabit Roger in Baltimore, I think the song by the Steve Miller Band was "Take the Money and Run". In context I think those lines sound funny, which is what the writer intended. Apparently it was a reference to a US detective series, in which the lead character's catch phrase was, "Just the facts Ma'am." I also like "Jack and Diane", which I think is by John Cougar Mellencamp. Didn't George Formby sing "Maybe you think I'm hanging round to steal a car?" There are wiser (and older) heads than mine on Mudcat, so I am sure the correct line will emerge. Joe F has pulled out a couple of appalling lines from Dylan. I have also always thought that was a rotten line in the otherwise excellent "Ballad in Plain D", which is a favourite of mine. "You're a Big Girl Now" has several lines which score highly on the cringe factor scale too. I like W.Somerset Mauigham's comment,"Only a mediocre writer is always at his best." |
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21 Apr 06 - 07:00 PM (#1724224) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST blinded by thelight is a springsteen song, opriginally, not manfred mann. worst line ever, and i'm an english teacher: live and let die--"but in this ever changing world in which we live in ...." THREE ins!!! |
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21 Apr 06 - 08:00 PM (#1724268) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Jack Campin For I am married to a house carpenter And I think he's a nice young man Now that's what I call passionate commitment. Doesn't sound like the devil has lot of persuading to do, does it? |
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21 Apr 06 - 09:40 PM (#1724334) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Joe_F Guest Jack: I have never heard that version of the line, and suppose it is corrupt; "nice" in that sense is recent. The version I know best has "And he is a fine young man"; Child likewise quotes an American version "And a fine young man is he". Earlier versions have "And by him I have a son" or the like, which express the real point. Serious business. * I have since thought of another embarrassing line from Bob Dylan: "In the ovens they fried". Ick. --- Joe Fineman joe_f@verizon.net ||: The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits. :|| |
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22 Apr 06 - 07:39 AM (#1724543) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST,Brian It may be a bad song from beginning to end but Ken Dodd's Happiness comes out as: A penis, a penis The greatest gift that I possess, I thank the Lord that I've been blessed With more than my share of a penis. Now that has to be worth singing. Part way through singing 'Eggs in her Basket' the other night, Jacqui burst out laughing at the the line She sat down to take her ease (E's) Brian |
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22 Apr 06 - 09:21 AM (#1724601) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Hawker In the song 'Up in the North' 'He was a ships carpenters son, by his trade' A What? Cheers, Lucy |
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22 Apr 06 - 11:15 AM (#1724654) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: melodeonboy "Then I met a nice urologist, But she was always taking the piss" (From "Psychiatrist" by Peter Buckey-Hill) Mind you; he meant it to be cheesy! |
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24 Apr 06 - 12:27 AM (#1725771) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Cluin "Bed of Roses" by Bon Jovi has a few real cringers in it: "With an ironclad fist, I wake up and french kiss the morning..." "I wanna be just as close as the Holy Ghost is..." "Tonite I won't be alone but you know that don't mean I'm not lonely..." "The barkeeper's wig's crooked and she's giving me the eye; I might have said yeah, but I laughed so hard I think I died" (That last line from the very clumsily worded and sung bridge. ) Basically a stupid fucking song. |
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24 Apr 06 - 12:46 AM (#1725781) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Cluin On a second listening to "Bed of Roses", I've decided to start a grass-roots email campaign to demand a public apology from Jon Bon Jovi for inflicting that song on us. It's really insipid and insulting at the same time... it's insipulting is what it is. I don't care if it ended up being a last-dance song at a lot of high school parties. He had a lot of nerve putting it out there, like leaving a huge steaming pile of dog poop on our collective doorstep. Damn him! |
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24 Apr 06 - 12:47 AM (#1725784) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Cluin This guy's got it right too! |
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07 Sep 07 - 07:20 PM (#2143609) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Cluin James Gordon's song "Lonesome Cowboy's Lament" has the line: He's headed west out to Lethbridge He suspects some kind of death-wish... I told him: "You are my songwriting hero! You had the balls to force a rhyme out of "Lethbridge" and "death-wish" and still make the song work" |
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07 Sep 07 - 08:03 PM (#2143624) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: dick greenhaus Bad lines in bad songs don't bother me a bit, but every so often one pops up in a song that I think is really good, and it infuriates me. In Keith Marsden's magnificent "Normandy Orchards", there's this bit of nostalgia: "tanks on the village green, just a fond memory.." fond? FOND? Aw, c'mon. It scans just as well, and makes sense with "dim memory" |
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07 Sep 07 - 08:13 PM (#2143632) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: TheSnail It's probably blasphemous to criticise the Blessed Ewan MacColl but I don't know if I can forgive him for Kissed her once again at Wapping, flow, sweet river, flow After that there was no stopping, sweet Thames, flow softly Sweet Thames Flow Softly |
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07 Sep 07 - 09:43 PM (#2143676) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Cstargazy remember a couple of wicked extracts from my days in Scotland, but the songs weren't what you'd call 'otherwise great or good': .....'Oh ho ho Idaho, but I'd rather be back in Kirkcaldy'.........and 'Heaven can't be far away, From the Town Hall in Stornoway' |
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07 Sep 07 - 11:27 PM (#2143741) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Joe_F "It was his career or mine" -- "Mary Magdelen" |
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07 Sep 07 - 11:43 PM (#2143747) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Genie Gordon Lightfoot: Cotton Jenny "In the hot sunny South, where they say, "Well, shut my mouth! ... " |
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08 Sep 07 - 12:19 AM (#2143755) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: MystMoonstruck from Sammy Hagar's "Your Love Is Driving Me Crazy": Lead me to forbidden doors You know I'm yours Yeah you've got it, yeah I want it Don't you know it babay Right on time, a tight fit right on the money So sublime, hot sweet cherries on the vine. Every time I hear it on the radio, I shout, "Cherries don't grow on vines!" I'm not sure why that irritates me so much. I need to learn to switch to another station or turn down the volume. Actually, the rest isn't all that good either, but that line BUGS me! As for this Paul Anka hit, I can't imagine the girl being too flattered by the "so old": Diana by Paul Anka I'm so young and you're so old This, my darling, I've been told I don't care just what they say Cause forever I will pray You and I will be as free As the birds up in the trees Oh, please, stay by me, Diana Can we excuse him because he was very young? I don't think so. Yet, we Baby Boomers made it a hit! I've always heard "I'll Be Home for Christmas" sung as "presents under the tree". Perhaps somewhere along the line, the lyrics were tweaked to change the "on". I love playing "Madereine Rue", which has a lively tune, but slang lends a different interpretation to the fox's theft, so I hesitate to sing it. Maybe it could be "nicest rooster in Erin"? (Teasing! I think... Perhaps I'll just stick with the melody. After all, there's that "fine fat..." bit, isn't there?) The only person I've heard sing this subversive little song is Peg Clancy on one of her brothers' albums. Now, if I could sing it as adorably as she does, perhaps I'd do it. Unfortunately, "Leezie Lindsay" tends to draw laughter from crowds as the fellow reveals his identity as Ronald McDonald (or MacDonald in some versions). Every performer I've seen develops a rather sheepish grin before saying the surname, fully aware that at least part of the audience will break into giggles. |
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08 Sep 07 - 12:32 AM (#2143759) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Genie Yeah, Cluin, but given Anka's age when he wrote "Diana," she was probably just 2 or 3 years older than he. (I think, in fact, the songs was written for a slightly older girl he had a crush on.) When you're a lad of 17, a 21-year-old female is "an older woman." ====== GUEST(21 Apr 06), I originally 'heard' McCartney's lyric the way you did, and I cringed too. But the actual lyric is: "but in this ever changing world in which we're livin' ..." Perfectly grammatical, just a case of underenunciation -- common in everyday speech. ===== Foolestroupe, Joni M is, indeed, wunnerful! And, at the risk of being nit-picky, it's " ... they charged all the people a dollar and half just to see 'em!" (as in "see them"), not "see-um" (as in "Tonto see-um heap big horse). Again, most of us probably say "see 'em" a lot more often than we say "see them." == LadyJean, in the hymn "Spirit Of the Living God," the original lyric is "melt me, mold me, fill me, USE me." I guess to some our minds that's still suggestive, but in the context of the Bible, it's pretty straightforward with no double-entendre. |
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08 Sep 07 - 12:48 AM (#2143764) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Genie Much as I love Leonard Cohen's song "Hallelujah," he does have a few groaner lines in that song, e.g., [Now maybe there's a God above but all I ever learned from love Is how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya ..." - with that last bit being a rhyme for "Hallelujah." And, of course, this next one not only stretches the rhyme but is rife with double-entendre - which I really don't think was intentional: "There was a time you let me know What's really going on below, but now you never show it to me, do ya? ... " |
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08 Sep 07 - 03:56 AM (#2143798) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST The chorus of "Dumbarton's Drums" is "Dumbarton's drums, They sound sae bonny And they remind me o' my Johnny Such fond delights they steal upon me When Johnny comes and kisses me." Presumably followed by a cigarette? Somebody somewhere decided to change the last line to- "When Johnny kneels and kisses me." My question is, where did he kiss her? It might give us a hint if she then had a cigarette! Eddie |
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08 Sep 07 - 04:59 AM (#2143806) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: David C. Carter I do believe Dylan wrote "Sign Language"mentioned above. His song "Highlands"contains a ligne about "Boiled eggs" I believe he made it up while recording it.I can't get past that ligne. But I don't lose any sleep over it! Good thread Cluin. |
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08 Sep 07 - 05:20 AM (#2143815) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in otherwise good Songs From: Genie A couple of people have decried Amanda Bloom's botanically incorrect lyric to "The Rose," but, in truth, while I realize roses seldom, if ever grow from seeds and usually survive snow, that bit of poetic license has never bothered me any more than do lyrics about "feeling" things "from the heart" -- which we all know is not the part of the body wherein emotions lie, either. And, Teresa, if anyone wants to nit-pick about "The Rose," the last verse ends: Just remember, in the winter Far beneath the bitter snowS, (rhymes with "rose,") LIES the seed that, with the sun's love, In the spring becomes the rose. ======== [[ McGrath of Harlow - "songs she brang to me .." "Bring" for "brought" is common enough in quite a lot of dialects. And pronouncing "bring" as "brang" is not such an unusual way of doing it in some places. We don't always notice that kind of thing when it isn't written down.]] Hey, that line irked me like chalk on a blackboard the first time I heard it. And I don't think I've actually ever seen it written. Harry Belafonte sings the lines: "Songs she sang to me, Songs she brought to me, Words that rang for me, Rhymes that sprang from me ... " And it sounds just fine. Far better than the way Neil wrote and sings it. ================================== [[GUEST - 03 Feb 05 - I once saw on Country music tv a guy who was quite good and i was enjoying the song till he took it too far and sang; "I've a burning, yearning, churning, deep inside o'me" ...]] That really does sound like he was singing Cole Porter's "Night and Day" or some spin-off from it. "Night and day, under the hide of me, There's an oh, such a hungry yearning, burning inside of me ... " == [[GUEST,Joe_F - 4 Feb 05- Sometimes, a word that is not poetic diction can be not only tolerable but an improvement in the poetry. An example, IMO, is in "Angel Band": I hear the noise of wings. ... ]] For what it's worth, the version of that "Angel Band" lyric I like best is "I hear the rush of wings." ====== [[YorkshireYankee - 5 Feb 05 Come to your life like a warrior/Nothing will bore ya is from Cris Williamson's "Song of the Soul". And I have to agree, it is a jarring couplet in an otherwise glorious song. But it can (with the right delivery) add a bit of humor to a song about (IMHO) getting the most out of life by not always playing it safe... Come to think of it, Cris Williams was certainly not "playing it safe" by using those lines, so in a strange way, I guess it's appropriate (whether or not that was her conscious intention).]] Poor Chris! If you listen to her recording of the song, it's really not all that forced a rhyme. She doesn't enunciate "warrioR." Rather, she pretty much sings "Come to your life like a warriah, Nothing will bore ya ... ." Still not the most eloquent rhyme in the world, but it does approximate how an American might normally pronounce both "warrior" and "you," and the rhyme does work that way. What made the lyric seem really awful was my seeing lyric sheets printed up that had the lines as "Come to your life like a warrior; nothing will bore yer ... " Aarrgghh! === |
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08 Sep 07 - 05:25 AM (#2143819) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Genie The first time I heard Paul Stookey's "The Wedding Song," this couplet stood out like a sore thumb for me and kind of ruined the whole song: "As it was in the beginning, is now unto the end, Woman draws her life from man and gives it back again." The line made me think of the one version (of two) in Genesis of the creation of humans, in which Eve is taken from Adam's rib. Later on, I realized it can be interpreted differently. He could just as easily have said it the other way around, but it wouldn't have scanned as well. It's an ongoing circle of reciprocity (codependence?). Still, I think that line is the weakest part of the song. |
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08 Sep 07 - 06:18 AM (#2143842) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: TheSnail Buckets of rain Buckets of tears Got all them buckets comin' out of my ears. Maybe the greatest love poet of the twentieth century was having an off day. |
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08 Sep 07 - 03:46 PM (#2144116) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Stringsinger "Feeeeeelings! Nothing more than feeeelings!" (whatever they are) A nice mixup although not intended in the song. The Riddle Song performed by a novice folkie. "I gave my love a baby that had no end". Someone called out, "That's the only way to have 'em." Times change: "I feel so gay in a melancholy way"..................... Ol' John Jacob Niles might have mixed his styles up in his Olde English ballad, "Lass From The Low Countree" by proclaiming at the end of the song, "He ain't got no soul, nor no sympathy." Now here's a conundrum. "I hate to wake you up to say goodbye. So kiss me and smile for me." This after "I'm standing here outside your door". (walking through walls?) Frank Hamilton |
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08 Sep 07 - 07:14 PM (#2144272) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in otherwise good Songs From: Genie One of the dumbest, most nonsensical lines I've ever heard is in Rod Stewart's song that goes "You're In My Heart, You're In My Soul ... " In one verse he sings: "You're (something), you're glamour, Please pardon the grammer But you're every schoolboy's dream." Absolutely nothing wrong with his grammar in the song - so the line is an inane, feeble rhyme. Similary -- Neil Diamond (again). From "I Am, I Swear" (again): "I'm not a man who likes to swear, But I never cared for the sound of being alone." What's the point of saying "I don't like to swear" except to force an internal rhyme? But other songs also avail themselves of cheap, pointless rhymes too. In "Walking After Midnight" Patsy Cline sings, "I stop to see a weeping willow Crying on his pillow." Pillow??? (And Neil Diamond - again - also uses the trite, unimaginative "willow"/"pillow" rhyme in his song "Song Sung Blue.") (Sorry, Neil. I really do love some of your songs, but you come up with some real lyric groaners from time to time.) |
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08 Sep 07 - 08:55 PM (#2144319) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Cluin "Kookie, Kookie, lend me your comb" "Baby, you're the ginchiest!" Ah, never mind... the WHOLE song was stupid beyond belief. |
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08 Sep 07 - 09:22 PM (#2144333) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Cluin Then there was this gem by Clarence Carter: (but you know, you can't help but like it, cheesy and fairly crude as it is... especially when the DJ plays it at a wedding recpetion and your elderly relatives are up on the dance floor and they think he's singing "Smokin'") Strokin' When I start makin' love, I don't just make love... I be strokin' That's what I be doin' I be strokin' I stroke it to the east And I stroke it to the west And I stroke it to the woman that I love the best I be strokin' Lemme ask you somethin'... What time of the day do you like to make love? Have you ever made love just befo' breakfast? Have you ever made love while you watch the late, late show? Well, lemme ask you this... Have you ever made love on a couch? Well, lemme ask you this... Have you ever made love on the back seat of a car? I remember one time I made love on the back seat of a car And the police came and shined his light on me, and I said: I'm strokin' that's what I'm doin' I be strokin' I stroke it to the east And I stroke it to the west And I stroke it to the woman that I love the best I be strokin' Lemme ask you something... How long has it been since you made love? huh? Didja make looooove yesterday? Didja make love las' week? Didja make love las' year? Or maybe it might be that you plannin' on makin' love tonight But just remember When you start making love You make it hard, long, soft, short And be strokin' I be strokin' I stroke it to the east And I stroke it to the west And I stroke it to the woman that I love the best I be strokin' Now when I start making love to my woman I don't stop until I know she's sassified And I can aaaaaaalways tell when she gets sassified Because when she gets sassfied, she start caaallin' my name She say: 'Cla'ence Carter, Cla'ence Carter, Cla'ence Carter, Cla'ence Carter Oooooooo SHIT! Cla'ence Carter!' The other night I was strokin' my woman And it got so good to her, you know what she told me? Lemme tell you what she told me She said, 'Stroke it Cla'ence Carter, but don't stroke so fast If my stuff ain't tight enough, you can stick it up my... WOO! I be strokin' Ha ha ha ha! I be strokin' I stroke it to the east And I stroke it to the west And I stroke it to the woman that I love the best I be strokin' I be strokin' ha ha ha ha! I be strokin' yeah! I be strokin' I stroke it to the north I stroke it to the south I stroke it everywhere I even stroke it with my... WOO! I be strokin' I be strokin' ha ha I be strokin' |
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09 Sep 07 - 07:24 PM (#2144939) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: GUEST mg, Yorkshire Yankee, and Genie: I've loved chris Williamson's "Song Of The Soul" since i first heard it, but the "...warrior...bore ya" lines are awful no matter how you pronounce them. For years, I've been singing "Come to your life like a lover, soon you'll discover...." It makes as much sense and is a lot less jarring. |
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10 Sep 07 - 09:33 AM (#2145399) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Colin Randall Pop not folk, but I have always thought these - from Elton john's Candle in the Wind, lyrics by Bernie Taupin - were among the worst lines ever written, if only because they are so sloppy Even when you died The press still hounded you All the papers had to say Was that Marilyn was found in the nude It is sloppy because of one word: WAS If Taupin had written: Even when you died/The press still hounded you/All the papers had to say/That Marilyn was found in the nude ...he would have been making the point he intended, ie that the evil press gleefully added that the body was naked. Instead, he suggests – absurdly of course – that the papers said ONLY that she was found in the nude. The reports of MM's death would, in those circumstances, have been very short indeed. But then, maybe only a journalist would care. |
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10 Sep 07 - 09:47 AM (#2145406) Subject: RE: Not-So-Good Lines in Songs From: Steve Shaw "Born a poor young country boy, Mother Nature's son...." ...and the rest of the words to it don't do a lot better! |