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11 Feb 05 - 06:33 PM (#1406451) Subject: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Bee-dubya-ell This thread's not about politics. The right and left both make me sick. It speaks not of religious things, Like Satan's horns or angel's wings. And you'll not find a sheep herein. Nor goat, nor monkey, nor penguin. Kitchen utensils won't be found. Spatulas do not here abound. No root crops growing 'neath our feet. No Swedes. No mangelwurzel beet. Of shellfish we have said enough! No whelks! No lobsters, or such stuff. Accordions we won't belittle, Nor bodhrans nor Hardanger fiddle. We will not bash Martin guitars Nor Gibsons, nor even Taylors. Of lawyers we will not make jokes, Nor banjo players and such folks. There'll be no free computing hints. No techie talk to make us wince. And please do not be such a jerk As to refer to Captain Kirk Or to the so-called thespian Who once portrayed him, way back when. And no tales of fair Twillingsgate's Dysfunctional inbred ingrates. And no one cares how cold it is Wherever in the hell you live. (If being warm's such a big deal, Move your ass down here near Mobile!) I'm sure I've left a few things out, That this thread's surely not about. Please feel free to fill in the blanks. And please accept my humble thanks. Just be sure when you are posting, To keep your post about nothing. |
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11 Feb 05 - 06:38 PM (#1406461) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: CarolC It's not about my "ilk", either. Right, Bee-dubya? BTW, looks like we're going to be in the area around Mobile next week starting on Tuesday. I don't know how much free time we'll have, but if there's anything interesting going on (mullet tosses or whatever), will you let us know? |
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11 Feb 05 - 06:45 PM (#1406470) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Bee-dubya-ell Nor anyone else's ilk for that matter. It wouldn't be fair since some of us have no ilk. |
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11 Feb 05 - 07:01 PM (#1406488) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Ebbie I think it might work very well if each of us wrote a response and then deleted it. What say you? (I'd like to lead the parade but it would be hard to get the message across. |
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11 Feb 05 - 07:09 PM (#1406501) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Peace THE WORST CASE OF CRABS I EVER HAD Before leaving for a club gig in Jacksonville, Florida, I stated at a friends place and slept on his bed. My train from NYC left at some crazy time in the morning (3:00 AM) and he lived close to Grand Central Station. About a week later I was soaking in a warm bath and my unmentionables started to itch like a sonuvagun. I figured I was allergic to something but couldn't figure out what, and I also couldn't figure out why the reaction was restricted to my unmentionables. I got my buddy Bill to come check out the situation. He told me my rash had legs, and he went off to purchase some A-200. Until that time I had thought crabs were seafood reserved for the affluent. I learned later that just a single pregnant femal can lay upto 5000 eggs. I guess one had, and they took that mament in the bath to begin hatching. There is probably a song in there somewhere, but it won't be written by me, because right now--as with anytime I hear the word 'crabs', I beging to itch. So, pardom me while I scratch. Bee-dubya-ell, I hope this modest post has stayed within the parameters you so adroitly, skillfully and eloquently outlined above. I agree with you about p and r. I'm tired of it, too. BM |
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11 Feb 05 - 07:15 PM (#1406512) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: The Fooles Troupe |
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11 Feb 05 - 07:21 PM (#1406518) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Bee-dubya-ell So you're the one that brought those crabs to Jacksonville! Half of Riverside wound up with those things! |
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11 Feb 05 - 07:28 PM (#1406533) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Kaleea Got Ilk? Music is the answer to life's problems. Play Music, not politics. Too much violence on TV & movies? ---Get a jam together. Make Music, not war. Got the blues? --Sing about it. Wanna share your life experiences? --Compose Music. Maladjusted family? --Go to a jam. Preacher harrassing you? Sing "I was sinking deep in sin . . . Whoopie!!" to her or him. Bored? Learn a new instrument. Need $$$? Sell an instrument you don't have time to play. Happy? Share your happy Music with folks in a Nursing home. Win the lottery? Come get me & I'll help you spend your million$$!! Still got ILK? Add POSITIVE Musical suggestions to this list. |
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11 Feb 05 - 07:52 PM (#1406567) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Amos SO those of you who do so choose May make this thread a tale of blues Or ballads 'bout the ole boll weevil Or love back in the Age Primeval About blood being as thick as water Or loving up to someone's daughter Or mounting up some monstrous labors To hunt leviathan and his neighbors Or wrapping the debbil up with rope And sailing from Capes Horn and Hope Or wearing out your wits in baitin' That riddle-posing monster, Satan; Or winning hearts, or winning bods Or fighting dragons, plowing clods, Drowning vile killers, pursuing Gods Or finding groundhogs for to kill! Pray, make it be 'bout what you will! Except, I'll add, while I am hot, Those things about which it is not! A |
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11 Feb 05 - 08:02 PM (#1406583) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Don(Wyziwyg)T Oh! come on Bee Dubya ell, don't be a party pooper. You gotta let us bash one Martin & one Gibson (two birds with one stone?). Purty Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaassssssse! DT |
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11 Feb 05 - 10:08 PM (#1406718) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Padre It's also not about rutabagas, spatulas, or hamsters! |
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11 Feb 05 - 10:33 PM (#1406735) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: khandu Just be sure when you are posting, To keep your post about nothing. "Posting" & "Nothing" do not rhyme. Perhaps I am wrong! maybe posting does rhyme with nothing. But...if posting rhymes with nothing then that would mean it does not rhyme with anything!! And if it does not rhyme with anything, then it must not rhyme with nothing! But that would mean that nothing & anything are the same thing!!! GHHARRRRRRHHHHHGGGGGGHHH!! This is some more of you insidious mind games, MR bee dubya ell!!! Yes, this threads not about...; but it IS about...!!!! But I'll not give in!!! You'll get nothing from me!!! (But wait...doesn't that mean you will get anything from me????)GHHARRRRRRHHHHHGGGGGGHHH! k |
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11 Feb 05 - 10:48 PM (#1406744) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Teresa Well done! That ought to be a Mudcat song! :) Teresa |
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11 Feb 05 - 10:57 PM (#1406752) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: GUEST,It never was about love. a tired old piece of clothes went through the wringer Hung out to dry Discarded. For something new that can't see. Cant see the road ive walked. Now im bitumen. Bitchtomen. |
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11 Feb 05 - 11:19 PM (#1406774) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Bee-dubya-ell You are absolutely correct, my Khing. I fudged the rhyme, I just didn't to a good enough job of it. If I had spelled "nothing" as "no-thing" it would have been closer. And please note that even though I am talking about something in this post, the something that I'm talking about is nothing, so I am remaining true to my own directive. |
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11 Feb 05 - 11:52 PM (#1406810) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: khandu Fudging rhymes is good! I have fudged many a rhyme & I aslo have rhymed fudge! Yes I have. Look...nudge, budge, grudge, drudge, judge, khudge. You can do it too! If you wish, I could send you a complete fudge rhyming dictionary for only three easy payments of $19.99 plus S&H! Nothing is good! I love & often enjoy nothing. Nothing is a subject worth discussing on this forum. I had a bag of nothing but someone stole it and now I have nothing. I got plenty of nothing & nothing is plenty for me! My former fiancee ran away to Mexico & I have heard nothing of her in these 6 years. It matters nothing to me now since my lucky wife, Cheryl, has given me something. But this is not about something. This is about... k |
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12 Feb 05 - 12:16 AM (#1406826) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Bill D "Nihilism, there is Nothing to It" --------------------------------------------------- "There is also a dialectic in Sartre which begins with being and its negation. The conceptualization of being (being-in-itself) and its negation (being-for-itself) is borrowed from Hegel, but the third stage, the stage of synthesis in Hegel, is repudiated. Sartre's dialectic is not dissolved or transcended in any synthesis; it is perpetual." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Last night I looked upon the stair. I saw nothin'. Nothin' was there. From my front porch to the top of the wall, There was lot's of nothin', nothin' at all.... Nothing.... A pree-ponderance of vacancy. There's a man in town, he's goin' around, Spreadin' lots of nothin' all over the ground. I heard some passin' people say, "All that nothin' gets in the way.... There oughta be a law." My wife said, "Honey, don't you know, Nothin' makes my flowers grow." So I figured I better lay in a supply And I went downtown, some nothin' to buy. Took along an empty... Wallet. The man in the store, he smile an' say, "We got plenty o' nothin'; nothin' today. Boxes, bottles, cans, and jars, Semi-trailers and big boxcars,... All vacuum-packed. He says, "How do you want it? Large or small? Fat or slender? Short or tall?" I says, "Gimme a slightly rounded pile, Empty as a politician's smile... Full of hot air.... Wrap it up as a gift." Well, this song was written with nothin' in mind, Nothin' at all of any kind, Nothin' at all in any degree, Nothin' to it that I can see,... Nothin'... Nothin'... It just grew... Out of a poverty of intellect. ok? |
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12 Feb 05 - 12:19 AM (#1406829) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Stilly River Sage Zed wrests from Bee-Dub's Small ilk like nothing else could save a small zero |
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12 Feb 05 - 12:22 AM (#1406832) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: LadyJean Oh I got plenty of nothing, and nothing's plenty for me. |
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12 Feb 05 - 12:25 AM (#1406833) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Teresa Oh, I love donut holes. Not those things that call themselves holes; they're fakey. I mean the glorious empty holes. they are nothingness supreme. |
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12 Feb 05 - 12:25 AM (#1406834) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Peace |
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12 Feb 05 - 12:37 AM (#1406846) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Rustic Rebel I see Brucie had nothing to say. I have nothing to say also. I feel I've contributed nothing to this thread. |
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12 Feb 05 - 12:40 AM (#1406850) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Bert Brucie, I had a friend who was deathly allergic to chiggers. His doctor gave him some of that purple stuff treat them. Everything was OK until his girlfriend saw the medication in his medicine cabinet! |
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12 Feb 05 - 01:03 AM (#1406871) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Peace Well, the crabs were bad enough, but that A-200 sure gave a whole new meaning to "Great Balls of Fire." |
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12 Feb 05 - 01:07 AM (#1406873) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Teresa Youch!!! :> Teresa |
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12 Feb 05 - 01:56 AM (#1406914) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Amos This thread is NOT about Brucie's balls. A |
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12 Feb 05 - 02:11 AM (#1406925) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Bert Or Teresa's. |
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12 Feb 05 - 02:26 AM (#1406934) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: The Fooles Troupe Plunk your magic twanger and play with your balls, kids... |
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12 Feb 05 - 08:07 AM (#1407075) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Bee-dubya-ell Why is a brave man said to be "afraid of nothing"? Bullets? No problem. Pack of hungry Rotweilers? No sweat. But throw a little nothing his way and it's "I'm afraid of nothing!" I don't get it. |
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12 Feb 05 - 08:38 AM (#1407095) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: khandu Because our greatest fear is the fear of the unknown, which is nothing! See, if once you get to know the unknown, the unknown no longer exists, so it must have been nothing all along! k |
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12 Feb 05 - 09:08 AM (#1407113) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Bee-dubya-ell I can feel this thread tilting toward Emily Dickinson. The first person to cut and paste that "I'm nobody. Who are you?" poem gets his or her name moved to the top of the shitlist. |
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12 Feb 05 - 12:09 PM (#1407258) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: CarolC We've got a shit list? I want to see it! I want to see who's on top now. |
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12 Feb 05 - 12:27 PM (#1407276) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Bee-dubya-ell Of course we have a shitlist! But, like the rest of the Mudcat, the ShitList Maintenance software isn't working too well right now. There should be a new release, "SLM 5.3", in the near futre that should patch all the holes, squash all the bugs and spray Lysol around to kill the viruses. It should be a great improvement. So easy to use that you can maintain your own shitlist without having to hire that Kellyperson to come in once a week and update it for you. |
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12 Feb 05 - 12:38 PM (#1407282) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Rustic Rebel The shitlist is nothing. I've been on it since I don't know when. |
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12 Feb 05 - 12:39 PM (#1407283) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: GUEST,King of the Guest Shit List There is nothing to fear but ilk itself. And nothing is a terrible thing to waste. I think, therefore I ilk nothing. |
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12 Feb 05 - 12:42 PM (#1407286) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: GUEST,Queen of the Guest Shit List "Are you a good ilk or a bad ilk?" asked Glinda with a tilt of her crown and wave of her wand. |
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12 Feb 05 - 12:54 PM (#1407293) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: GUEST,Clickie Monster Did somebody hex the thread and ask for this little bit of detritus? I'm Nobody! Who Are You I'm nobody! Who are you? Are you nobody, too? Then there's a pair of us--don't tell! They'd banish us, you know. How dreary to be somebody! How public, like a frog To tell your name the livelong day To an admiring bog! |
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12 Feb 05 - 01:42 PM (#1407337) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Bill D what's the plural of 'detritus' ? |
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12 Feb 05 - 01:48 PM (#1407342) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Stilly River Sage Maybe its like "fish" or "deer," and is singular and plural simultaneously? |
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12 Feb 05 - 02:48 PM (#1407402) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Amos "Detritus" by definition is a collective noun, like "trash". It has no singular because it is collective inherently. arts of dead organisms and cast-off fragments and wastes of living organisms. The forest floor is covered in detritus. www.hubbardbrook.org/education/Glossary/Glossary.htm the particulate decomposition or disintegration products of plankton, including dead cells, cell fragments, fecal pellets, shells, and skeletons, and sometimes mineral particles in coastal waters www.coris.noaa.gov/glossary/glossary_a_k.html Accumulated organic debris from dead organisms, often an important source of nutrients in a food web. www.ucmp.berkeley.edu/glossary/gloss5ecol.html Loose material such as rock fragments and organic particles, that result directly from disintegration of the parent material. Synonymous with debris. www.wisconline.com/wisconsin/geoprovinces/glossary.html A |
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12 Feb 05 - 02:49 PM (#1407405) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Peace "I want to see who's on top now." PERVERT Besides, who's on first. THE SECOND WORST CASE OF CRABS I EVER HAD When I returned to NYC after the harrowing experience in Jacksonville flesh still burning from the A-200, I noticed an itch that was familiar. On a closer reading of the label I noticed that the manufacturers suggested a second application a few days after the first. Sheets, clothing, combs, towels all had to receive two HOT water washes, and my unmentionables--which I notice some ne'er-do-well has called 'balls'--required another application of St Elmo's Fire. Foolishly, I decided to shave. Oy gevalt! Never again. It was an experience. Shaving is no problem at all with an electric razor, but with a safety razor it is a risky enterprise--one that necessitates a steady hand and at least a dozen beer. If you ever do this, do NOT use a straight razor. Just as there are many a slip twix the cup and the lip, so too could there be while shaving one's nether regions. Remember, you are one sneeze or cough away from sopranodom. I will spare the gentle reader details; suffice it to say that bald is not always beautiful. A-200 needs to be left on for about ten minutes. During that time the syrupy liquid oozes into one's pores where the crabs and their eggs are. The experience taught me that 'slash and burn' has its uses in the world of agriculture, but red skin, especially on ones unmentionables, is PAINFUL. To alleviate the sensation of having lit my orbs on fire, I drank more beer. It was the beer that has allowed me to wax philosophical about it all. I showered and for the last time carefully put clothes into a pillow case. I had many sleepless nights thereafter suffering from the worry that I had missed a pregnant female. However, life soon took its course, and in NYC I said goodbye to my erstwhile travelling companions. Within two weeks, the situation returned to normal, but it was over a month before the itching cause by hair growing back went away. Lessons to be learned? 1) Do not ever get crabs. 2) Just say no to crabs. 3) You do not have to shave to get rid of crabs. That's it. |
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12 Feb 05 - 03:03 PM (#1407421) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Teresa Bert, not about my balls? Well, I never. Now my day is ruined! |
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12 Feb 05 - 03:05 PM (#1407422) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Stilly River Sage I will spare the gentle reader details Wow, Bruce, if what you posted aren't details I'm sure glad you didn't share them! This is plenty bad enough! You're not going to get a lot of sympathy re: shaving from the women on the list. Between the American social pressure to be hairless (ever hear of a bikini wax?) or the nurses wielding razors prior to surgery or childbirth (just say "no!" when you can!) many of us have been there. SRS |
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12 Feb 05 - 03:14 PM (#1407429) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Peace Uh huh. |
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12 Feb 05 - 03:25 PM (#1407439) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Peace I didn't actually want any sympathy from anyone. This all happened 35 years ago, and I know women have it tough in this world. FYI. |
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12 Feb 05 - 03:55 PM (#1407465) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: CarolC PERVERT --brucie Flattery will get you nowhere, brucie. |
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12 Feb 05 - 04:09 PM (#1407477) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Peace LOL |
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12 Feb 05 - 04:34 PM (#1407506) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Stilly River Sage I don't want you to think that by suggesting women suffer the discomfort of hair removal that the hair removal is an experience as lurid as your encounter with crabs. That sounds pretty awful. ;-D |
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12 Feb 05 - 05:18 PM (#1407543) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: khandu If you happen to go back to 1975 for a few days, DO NOT spend the night at Russom's Motel in Pearl, Mississippi!! Even if every other motel is booked solid & the only other place to sleep is at the Sunday Mission, DO NOT sleep at Russom's Motel!! Crabs originated there! k |
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12 Feb 05 - 06:11 PM (#1407598) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Peace Thanks a heckuvalot, khandu. NOW you tell me. The crabs are very funny to me now, SRS. They were a bloody nuisance and nightmare at the time. They are amazing little critters, however. Like cockroaches, they are survivors. But with a little help from Mr A-200, and the regenerative properties of the epidermis . . . . THE THIRD WORST CASE OF CRABS I EVER HEARD ABOUT--WAS A CASE OF LOBSTERS FROM THE MARITIMES. But that's a story for another time. |
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12 Feb 05 - 06:31 PM (#1407615) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Little Hawk And this thread is NOT about the shocking and unjustifiable censorship of posts and closing of threads by the draconian, fascist, authoritarian administration and joe clones of Mudcat Cafe! Hell no! And for that, we may all be very, very thankful. :-) |
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12 Feb 05 - 07:19 PM (#1407659) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: GUEST And peace be with you. |
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12 Feb 05 - 07:38 PM (#1407667) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Amos Nah -- most women, left tot heir own devices, don't do "lurid". In my experience, anyway. A |
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12 Feb 05 - 08:26 PM (#1407730) Subject: RE: BS: This Thread's Not About... From: Cluin Then you need to experience more, Amos. |