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16 Feb 05 - 06:51 PM (#1412463) Subject: BS: Crap Full Circle From: Pogo I think this pretty much covers every single BS thread in Mudcat effectively...enjoy and don't get yer knickers in a bunch, it's not meant to be taken seriously XOP * Taoism: S#!t happens. * Confucianism: Confucius say, "S#!t happens." * Buddhism: If s#!t happens, it isn't really s#!t. * Zen Buddhism: S#!t is, and is not. * Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of s#!t happening? * Hinduism: This s#!t has happened before. * Islam: If s#!t happens, it is the will of Allah. * Islam #2: If s#!t happens, kill the person responsible. * Islam #3: If s#!t happens, blame Israel. * Catholicism: If s#!t happens, you deserve it. * Protestantism: Let s#!t happen to someone else. * Presbyterian: This s#!t was bound to happen. * Episcopalian: It's not so bad if s#!t happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it. * Methodist: It's not so bad if s#!t happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it. * Congregationalist: S#!t that happens to one person is just as good as s#!t that happens to another. * Unitarian: S#!t that happens to one person is just as bad as s#!t that happens to another. * Lutheran: If s#!t happens, don't talk about it. * Fundamentalism: If s#!t happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!) * Fundamentalism #2: If s#!t happens to a televangelist, it's okay. * Fundamentalism #3: S#!t must be born again. * Judaism: Why does this s#!t always happen to us? * Calvinism: S#!t happens because you don't work. * Seventh Day Adventism: No s#!t shall happen on Saturday. * Creationism: God made all s#!t. * Secular Humanism: S#!t evolves. * Christian Science: When s#!t happens, don't call a doctor - pray! * Christian Science #2: S#!t happening is all in your mind. * Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this s#!t. * Quakers: Let us not fight over this s#!t. * Utopianism: This s#!t does not stink. * Darwinism: This s#!t was once food. * Capitalism: That's MY s#!t. * Communism: It's everybody's s#!t. * Feminism: Men are s#!t. * Chauvinism: We may be s#!t, but you can't live without us... * Commercialism: Let's package this s#!t. * Impressionism: From a distance, s#!t looks like a garden. * Idolism: Let's bronze this s#!t. * Existentialism: S#!t doesn't happen; s#!t IS. * Existentialism #2: What is s#!t, anyway? * Stoicism: This s#!t is good for me. * Hedonism: There is nothing like a good s#!t happening! * Mormonism: God sent us this s#!t. * Mormonism #2: This s#!t is going to happen again. * Wiccan: An it harm none, let s#!t happen. * Scientology: If s#!t happens, see "Dianetics", p.157. * Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< S#!t happens. * Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our s#!t? * Jehovah's Witnesses #3: S#!t has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening. * Moonies: Only really happy s#!t happens. * Hare Krishna: S#!t happens, rama rama. * Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this s#!t! * Zoroastrianism: S#!t happens half on the time. * Church of SubGenius: BoB s#!ts. * Practical: Deal with s#!t one day at a time. * Agnostic: S#!t might have happened; then again, maybe not. * Agnostic #2: Did someone s#!t? * Agnostic #3: What is this s#!t? * Satanism: SNEPPAH T!#S. * Atheism: What s#!t? * Atheism #2: I can't believe this s#!t! * Nihilism: No s#!t. * And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: S#!t happens-one day at a time! |
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16 Feb 05 - 07:20 PM (#1412494) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: akenaton :0)....Hehehe |
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16 Feb 05 - 08:47 PM (#1412567) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: Cluin What a load of shit. |
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16 Feb 05 - 08:51 PM (#1412571) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: Bill D Star Trek Command--Sh#tner happens |
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16 Feb 05 - 08:57 PM (#1412578) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: Little Hawk The World after the Great William Himself is crowned Emperor of Everything: HAIL SH#TNER!!!! |
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16 Feb 05 - 11:29 PM (#1412657) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: mack/misophist Somebody has a good imagination and too much free time. |
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17 Feb 05 - 12:01 AM (#1412667) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: Little Hawk So true... |
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17 Feb 05 - 12:08 AM (#1412672) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: Cluin That's pretty much everybody's story around here. |
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17 Feb 05 - 01:11 AM (#1412711) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: LadyJean I'm sorry. I don't believe in crap circles. |
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17 Feb 05 - 01:20 AM (#1412715) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: John O'L That's pretty comprehensive Pogo. You must have spent a long time on the crapper working it out with a pencil before posting. |
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17 Feb 05 - 03:30 AM (#1412777) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: Liz the Squeak You forgot Jedi - Happening it is, this s#!t, may the s#!t be with you. LTS |
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17 Feb 05 - 03:42 AM (#1412786) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: Davetnova Of course only one of these is really true. I'm glad its the sh1t I believe. |
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17 Feb 05 - 09:13 AM (#1412917) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: GUEST,Rapaire Crap circles!!??? The aliens are coming!! Hide the barnyards!! Hide the manure piles!! The Truth is out there -- believe!!! |
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17 Feb 05 - 11:12 AM (#1412979) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: GUEST We've been enjoying using the term "crap circles" around our house lately, inspired by misreading the thread title. "Dang, honey, somedambody put out a crap circle all around us last night while we was sleeping. Reckon it was aliens?" ~S~ |
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17 Feb 05 - 01:29 PM (#1413094) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: Pogo John: Actually I cannot take credit, I am merely the humble shoveler...I'm not sure who originally left this philosophical surprise on the carpet of mankind, but it is funny nonetheless...provided you look before you step {O) |
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17 Feb 05 - 02:20 PM (#1413157) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: GUEST Traditionalism. If I know who wrote it it's s#!t |
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17 Feb 05 - 02:51 PM (#1413194) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: gnomad There's a story about Winston Churchill during World War II: one day he was happily ensconced in the bathroom with his newspaper when he was told that the Lord Privy Seal wished to see him. "Tell the Lord Privy Seal," barked the Prime Minister, "that I'm sealed in the privy and can only deal with one s#it at a time." |
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17 Feb 05 - 02:55 PM (#1413196) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: Blissfully Ignorant Couldn't they just be grouped into a single category? - Holy shit!! |
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17 Feb 05 - 05:07 PM (#1413330) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: Rapparee Dang, I'd like to see a Privy Seal. Do they balance a ball on their nose and go "AWK! AWK!" while in the outhouse? |
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17 Feb 05 - 06:53 PM (#1413455) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: The Fooles Troupe They leave a deep impression on some things.... |
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17 Feb 05 - 07:05 PM (#1413468) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: Little Hawk FDR - "We have nothing to sh#t but sh#t itself." Churchill - "I have nothing to offer you but blood, toil, tears, and sh#t." Empress Josephine - "Let them eat sh#t!" Julius Caesar - "I came. I saw. I shat." |
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17 Feb 05 - 09:08 PM (#1413576) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: Cluin Ronald Reagan: I okayed this sh#t? |
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18 Feb 05 - 06:20 AM (#1413890) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: GUEST,~S~ Read... my.... sh*ts. :~) Hey, I misheard a great one on TV yesterday-- "He's the cream of the crock." ~S~ |
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18 Feb 05 - 07:27 AM (#1413901) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: GUEST,dental hygenist Never look a gift s**t in the mouth. |
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18 Feb 05 - 07:38 AM (#1413905) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: GUEST,charlie windsor A s**t, a s**t, my kingdom for a s**t. |
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18 Feb 05 - 07:40 AM (#1413906) Subject: RE: BS: Crap Full Circle From: GUEST,Otis Ferry Tally s**t. |