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BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...

09 Apr 05 - 07:41 AM (#1456085)
Subject: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Bobert

Yep, according to today's Washington Post an asteriod, named 2004MN4, is headin' our way and now has a 1 in 38 chance of hitting the earth with the impact equivelent to 10,000 *megatons* of dynamite which is greater than all of the nuclear weapons that now exist...

Looks as if Friday 13, April of 2029 will Earth's first opportunity to get 'bout half blowed up but...

... hey, if it misses in '29, not to fear, it will get more shots in '34,'35, '36, '37 & '38...

Yeah, I been tellin' you all to play nicer. Now look what you all done?... Looks like the Big Guy is getting ready to pull the plug on His little D- science experiement...

Now that's the blues...

Bobert


09 Apr 05 - 07:51 AM (#1456095)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: The Fooles Troupe

I think we should promote this thread to a 'Blues Song Challenge Thread'


09 Apr 05 - 07:55 AM (#1456102)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: jacqui.c

So... eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we get the shit kicked out of us by a lump of rock.


09 Apr 05 - 08:00 AM (#1456112)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Davetnova

I might make an effort to be dead by then. But there again it might be fun to see that as I go.


09 Apr 05 - 08:03 AM (#1456119)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: kendall

So, the republicans will still be in power...what's the BAD news?


09 Apr 05 - 08:06 AM (#1456120)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: gnu

2029.04.13? What time? I don't have much open, so you may have to move it to Monday.


09 Apr 05 - 08:18 AM (#1456131)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Bobert

First line of "Asteriod Blues":

"Didn't woke up this mornin'....."

B;(


09 Apr 05 - 08:26 AM (#1456138)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: GUEST,archy

so? we cockroaches arent worried. weve seen dozens of these.


09 Apr 05 - 08:30 AM (#1456142)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: John MacKenzie

You can buy a soothing cream which reduces the annoyance of assteroids, and I don't have to tell you where to stick it!
Giok ¦¬]


09 Apr 05 - 09:39 AM (#1456204)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: George Papavgeris

Depends how you get your rocks off, I s'pose


09 Apr 05 - 09:43 AM (#1456211)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: RangerSteve

Fer cryin' out loud. I just got the furniture dusted and for what? Some stupid asteroid comes along and I gotta start all over again. Why do I even bother?


09 Apr 05 - 09:46 AM (#1456214)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Amos

I am pretty sure we will have the means to re-route that puppy by then. One good kick in the orbital pants can send it into deep and empty space for a long time.

Depends where you kick it, of course.

A


09 Apr 05 - 11:31 AM (#1456240)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: GUEST

Well, obviously, you kick in the assteroid.


09 Apr 05 - 12:57 PM (#1456298)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Don Firth

Oh, wotthehell! I'll be wild! I'll go ahead and put new strings on my guitar anyway.

Don Firth


09 Apr 05 - 01:04 PM (#1456303)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Rapparee

Heck, I'll dare to eat a peach! And wear white flannel trousers! And even walk along the beach!

Carpe diem, I always say.


09 Apr 05 - 01:05 PM (#1456304)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Blissfully Ignorant

Well, i'm going to be almightily drunk. Actually, i'd better start panic buying now.....i mean, there's going to be a huge demand for booze, isn't there? Who wants to be sober for the apocolypse?


09 Apr 05 - 02:19 PM (#1456359)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: SINSULL

I knew they would find a way not to pay out Social Security. Damn Republicans!


09 Apr 05 - 02:36 PM (#1456381)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Hand-Pulled Boy

Sounds like it's going to hit America. We Brits can relax..........


09 Apr 05 - 02:36 PM (#1456382)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: John MacKenzie

A steroids, does that mean A for anabolic steroids? If so we'll all be androgenous so it doesn't matter if the world ends.
G


09 Apr 05 - 02:38 PM (#1456385)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: kendall

Not for long, HPB


09 Apr 05 - 02:52 PM (#1456404)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Charley Noble

Why am I painting the livingroom?
Why am I painting the livingroom?
Why am I painting the livingroom?
Why am I painting the livingroom?
Why am I painting the livingroom?
Why am I painting the livingroom?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


09 Apr 05 - 02:59 PM (#1456414)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Blissfully Ignorant

Cos magnolia's gone out of style,
Cos magnolia's gone out of style,
Cos magnolia's gone out of style,
Cos magnolia's gone out of style,
Cos magnolia's gone out of style,
Cos magnolia's gone out of style

?


09 Apr 05 - 03:11 PM (#1456431)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Bee-dubya-ell

Maybe if we all blow really hard in the direction from which the asteroid is coming?

Or...

We could disrupt the gravitational matrix that is creating the earth-asteroid attraction by blowing up the sun!


09 Apr 05 - 03:23 PM (#1456443)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Peace

http://2004mn4.info/


09 Apr 05 - 03:27 PM (#1456445)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Peace

Good site to look at if yer at all worried.


09 Apr 05 - 04:42 PM (#1456504)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: John MacKenzie

Does that mean all the dinosaurs will die?
G ¦¬]


09 Apr 05 - 04:58 PM (#1456514)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: kendall

I hope I can stay awake to see it...


09 Apr 05 - 06:22 PM (#1456576)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Shanghaiceltic

Be just my luck to have JW's knocking on the door when it hits!


09 Apr 05 - 07:19 PM (#1456614)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: jacqui.c

Or to be sitting on the loo.


09 Apr 05 - 07:27 PM (#1456617)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Peace

Or watching the last episode of "Friends". On second thought, . . . .


09 Apr 05 - 07:46 PM (#1456629)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: jacqui.c

Or to find something worth watching on the box - maybe not.....


09 Apr 05 - 08:42 PM (#1456649)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: The Fooles Troupe

Chicken Little was right!


09 Apr 05 - 08:50 PM (#1456655)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Peace

Where's DougR?


09 Apr 05 - 09:47 PM (#1456699)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Bee-dubya-ell

I've got it! I know this one will work!

The current model is based on the orbital paths of the earth and the asteroid remaining as they are, right? So, let's just change the orbit of the earth a little bit! If everybody on the planet jumps up at exactly the same time, the earth will weigh less, right? And if it weighs less (has less mass) it will either (A) speed up, (B) slow down, or (C) change direction. One of you science guys can figure out which one, but it doesn't really matter because when April 13, 2029 get's here, the earth won't be where the asteroid thinks it's gonna be!

Okay. Are you guys ready? On the count of three:






One... Two... Three...





JUMP!!!


09 Apr 05 - 09:53 PM (#1456704)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: The Fooles Troupe

Oooops!

Missed it!

We'll have to do it again.

Let's form a committee to organise it! It won't be here till 2029 - we've got plenty of time!


09 Apr 05 - 10:10 PM (#1456716)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: annamill

This is, of course, assuming WE, being mankind, will still be here on earth. We might destroy ourselves, move on to outer frontiers, etc.

I doubt I will be here, but, I guess there's a slim chance.

Oh well.

Love, Annamill


09 Apr 05 - 10:34 PM (#1456728)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: tarheel

STOP THE WORLD!!!
i wanna get off!!!!


10 Apr 05 - 01:54 PM (#1457264)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Nigel Parsons

Bee Dubya Ell:

Already been done, it was a radio spoof on April 1st one year.

Also recorded in song by Zander Nyrond HERE

CHEERS

Nigel


10 Apr 05 - 03:42 PM (#1457363)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Peace

"STOP THE WORLD!!!
i wanna get off!!!!"

Ya may not have a choice, Chuck.


10 Apr 05 - 04:12 PM (#1457395)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: GUEST,Art Thieme

An asteroid is only an ass on steroids. Look for a huge new constellation called "Eyore"!!


10 Apr 05 - 04:33 PM (#1457411)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: GUEST

Ok boys that's what they all say!


10 Apr 05 - 04:51 PM (#1457423)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Peace

Coming soon to a galaxy near you.


10 Apr 05 - 05:51 PM (#1457476)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: beardedbruce

as a "pro-human" and "pro-Earth" person, in spite of whatever Bobert has to say, I am one of those who are working to give the human race a chance to survive that asteroid. Given the lead time, if we allow it to hit the earth it will be our own fault, and not any act of any God that I can believe in.

Even an ion motor, placed appropriately and run for several years, would move the orbit enough for it to avid the earth. Nuclear explosives could do the same, in less time, but would allow for the possibility of chunks that might get through the atmosphere.


We have the technology and materials- the only question is do we have the will to take action?


10 Apr 05 - 05:59 PM (#1457485)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: gnu

Will Smith?


10 Apr 05 - 05:59 PM (#1457486)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: gnu

Will Shatner? (Sorry.)


10 Apr 05 - 06:00 PM (#1457487)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Peace

Bruce Willis?


10 Apr 05 - 07:06 PM (#1457559)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: GUEST,Art Thieme

a living will!!


10 Apr 05 - 07:08 PM (#1457560)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Peace

Drop H2SO4 on it and reduce it to zip.


10 Apr 05 - 07:28 PM (#1457576)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: beardedbruce

brucie,


presuming something small, like 1 cubic mile, mixed stoney and metallic, how much h2so4 do you think we might need? And YOU can get the clearancc from the UN Space committee to put it up!


10 Apr 05 - 08:09 PM (#1457595)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Gray D

So, er, given that the average age of Mudcatters is 83, how many of us old b*ggers actually think we'll still be around in 2029?

Leave it to the kids to sort out, that's my advice,

and . . .

Don't Worry, Be Happy (you're going to be singing it all day, now . . . MUWAAAHAHAHAHA!)

Gray D

P.S. If everything turns out all right, can we get everyone who's left to get together on April 14th. 2029, and get them to point to the sky and shout

"MISSED! YA B@STARD!"?


10 Apr 05 - 08:12 PM (#1457597)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: jacqui.c

I intend to be there then. I'll get meself ready to shout!


10 Apr 05 - 08:28 PM (#1457610)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Peace

bb, just kidding. I think it's a problem that we have to look at. If something that size hits us and we could have done something to prevent it, well, we'd deserve the extinction we received. However, I don't think our children or theirs or theirs would deserve the extinction we receive. If you really are working on ways to change its path, good on yer. And good for us, too. Thank you.


10 Apr 05 - 08:34 PM (#1457617)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: beardedbruce

check "DART", and think about what it is trying to do....


Just a first step, but ....


10 Apr 05 - 08:42 PM (#1457623)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: beardedbruce

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A20924-2005Apr2.html


http://www.orbital.com/AdvancedSpace/DART/


10 Apr 05 - 08:50 PM (#1457629)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Peace

Interesting, both articles. And also may its use be kept for peaceful purposes. (I realize you have no control over that, bb. Politicians will do what politicians will do.) It's a great start, anyway. A big explosion would knock a rock that size off its course. Even a bit soon would be enough to change potential events. Good on you, buddy.


10 Apr 05 - 08:57 PM (#1457633)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: beardedbruce

Some of us have been asking for an asteroid search program to identify all the ones that might be a danger- but no funding to find out about potential problems.....

Another reason to support a moon-base- one more set of eyes looking out....


10 Apr 05 - 10:20 PM (#1457665)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: beardedbruce

http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/solarsystem/asteroid_report_000918.html


http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/asteroid_search_030910.html

http://cfa-www.harvard.edu/~marsden/SGF/


10 Apr 05 - 10:41 PM (#1457675)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Peace

The moon-based setup would be good. Better 'eyes' due to less interference from Earth's atmosphere. Hope it happens.


10 Apr 05 - 11:58 PM (#1457711)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: beardedbruce

one of my earlier programs ( Clementine/DSPSE) forund the best location for a base on the moon... but the followup mission was cancelled due to funding problems...


11 Apr 05 - 01:56 AM (#1457745)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: The Fooles Troupe

There was an old movie with goddamn awfuk physics called "Asteroid".

(Hmmm, meant 'awful', but I'll leave it!)

And a few more recent ones, just as unbelievable.


11 Apr 05 - 07:33 AM (#1457857)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Mr Red

It looks as if the best prediction for the close approach puts it below the altitude of geostationary satellites. Which gives it two goes at zapping one. A long shot but how many more satellites will we have up there in 25 more years? A lot! And some of them are not going to stay up there. Forget the asterrisk - look for Rupert Murdoch to ruin you - he has done it with TV.


11 Apr 05 - 07:44 AM (#1457862)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Emma B

Just seen this thread immediately followed by "You must leave now"
thought I had a little longer...........


11 Apr 05 - 09:35 AM (#1457953)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Donuel

What is coming this July is a comet.
It will not hit Earth but it will be visible to all.


11 Apr 05 - 09:42 AM (#1457956)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: GUEST

Have you got the name or any other info? Thanks in advance.


11 Apr 05 - 09:45 AM (#1457959)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: The Fooles Troupe

http://www.space.com/

you can even get a daily email with all the latest info on what's happenning up in the sky...


12 Apr 05 - 09:47 AM (#1459003)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: robomatic

Lucerne
31 March 2029
The International Space Agency announced that the 911 Diversion Project has been terminated due to 'lack of enough fuel' to power the partially constructed multi-stage rocket vehicle currently on site in the Azores. "This is disappointing" said Robert Ulmer Cannon, spokesman for the UN agency today, "It would have been seen as a legitimization of UN organization and capacity had we been able to get the project finished, as well as the salvation of the major continents of the world."

The project was begun twenty years ago as the major world powers vied for peak position in construction of the delivery vehicle. Once all the great astronomical observers had agreed that the asteroid was of appropriate size and on collision course with Earth and would "create an impact greater than all known weapons designed in human history, nuclear included".

The President of the United States was unavailable for comment. Presidential spokesman Jesse Jackson III has consistently maintained that misappropriation of funds donated by the World Congress to the United Nations resulted in the current debacle. He has previously maintained that the Azores didn't need a space complex, that UN workers held conferences and parties over a period of years before actual construction was begun, and three civil wars and two revolutions could have been moderated by UN troops, had any been available.

Much had been made about the contentions that the required amount of fuel for the rocket, which cannot be found, might have been available had the General Motors vehicle "The Hummer" been discontinued in 2010.

"That twelve miles per gallon really killed us," said Clayton Gaines, President of the Sierra Club. If those people commuting in three and a half ton behemoths had been on bicycles, we'd have less cholesterol in our veins and a future for the human race."

Scientists who were available for comment have voiced hopes that the asteroid may pass extremely near without impact. "It could be just a case of having one or more oceans ripped away by powerful gravitational forces" said Dr. Abrams of the Planetary Bodies Institute.

"One thing is certain, adjustments will be necessary."


13 Apr 05 - 09:28 AM (#1459939)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: tarheel

BRING IT ON!!!!!...always wanted to get a close-up photo of one!


13 Apr 05 - 09:54 AM (#1459963)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: podman

I'd just like to know the movie has a sequel.


13 Apr 05 - 09:58 AM (#1459966)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: robomatic

Well maybe The Great Zarquon will be right behind it.


18 Apr 05 - 08:07 PM (#1464775)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Shanghaiceltic

A case of the Earth sucks?

Earth's gravity may lure deadly asteroid
By Nigel Hawkes


A HUGE asteroid which is on a course to miss the Earth by a whisker in 2029 could go round its orbit again and score a direct hit a few years later.
Astronomers have calculated that the 1,000ft-wide asteroid called 2004 MN4 will pass by the Earth at a distance of between 15,000 and 25,000 miles — about a tenth of the distance between the Earth and the Moon and close enough to be seen with the naked eye.

Although they are sure that it will miss us, they are worried about the disturbance that such a close pass will give to the asteroid's orbit. It might put 2004 MN4 on course for a collision in 2034 or a year or two later: the unpredictability of its behaviour means that the danger might not become apparent until it is too late.

As a safety precaution, some experts are calling for 2004 MN4 to be "tagged" with a transponder that would constantly radio its position. Scientists hope that this would provide enough warning to allow emergency action if necessary, possibly by diverting the object away from the Earth.Other instruments on the probe could provide information about its composition.

Benny Peiser, from Liverpool John Moores University, who is an expert on asteroid hazards, said: "We don't know what that asteroid is made of and that might influence the way it's affected by the Earth's gravitational pull. There are other close approaches, in 2034 and 2035. In all likelihood it will produce an orbit that will not intercept the Earth, but we don't know."

The asteroid is big enough to cause damage on a regional scale, with an expected impact equivalent to a 1,000-megatonne explosion. It was discovered last June and its orbit plotted in detail by December. Startled astronomers calculated at one point that its chances of a direct hit on Friday, April 13, 2029, were 1 in 38. But additional calculations have set those fears to rest. The asteroid is now expected to miss but come close enough to be below the altitude of TV satellites. It should be visible as a rapidly moving point of light.

Brian Marsden, of the Harvard-Smithsonian Centre for Astrophysics in Cambridge, Massachusetts, expects the close encounter to increase the frequency of the asteroid's orbit, creating the possibility of further close encounters every five to nine years.

An interceptor mission is feasible and Dr Peiser said that an opportunity would arise in 2012, when 2004 MN4 will be ten million miles from Earth. "That's not a big distance as far as space missions go," he said.

"This is most likely not the object with our number on it, but one day we will have to address this question and we'll need the technology. A transponder mission should not be too complicated or costly, and would provide a lot of vital data."


18 Apr 05 - 09:25 PM (#1464832)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: robomatic

I don't see why they should put a locator tag on it. We have plenty of time. We should fix a big ol' tranquilizer dart and knock it out first time around. Taht way there won't be no more trubble.


18 Apr 05 - 09:48 PM (#1464852)
Subject: RE: BS: Asteriod's a' Comin'...
From: Bobert

Loved yer maybe-not-so-hypothethical post a few posts back.... (April 12th)....

Bobert