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BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...

28 Apr 05 - 10:59 AM (#1473220)
Subject: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: Donuel

I put up large mirrors on the inside of our fence. It seems that the Mocking birds take this as an act of war by its own reflection.
They simply will not quit flying at and pecking its reflection for hours on end.

Maybe an ironic poem about this will come about but I feel a bit guilty leaving the mirrors up.


28 Apr 05 - 11:06 AM (#1473227)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: wysiwyg

Why did you put them up?

~S~


28 Apr 05 - 11:11 AM (#1473232)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: GUEST,leeneia

Take the mirrors down. While the mockingbird is trying to drive away the imaginary invader, its nestlings may be starving.

The world needs all the mockingbirds it can get.


28 Apr 05 - 11:13 AM (#1473234)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: Noreen

To make the garden look bigger, I imagine- it is an idea promulgated by the many garden design programmes on UK TV recently.

In this case I think I'd take them down/cover them up, Donuel- it may only be temporary behaviour, say in mating season, birds are more touchy...


28 Apr 05 - 11:14 AM (#1473236)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: Donuel

I had them, they were cheap, they create an interesting conceptual art portal in unlikely directions, I have a clever mirror theme inside the house and they cover the openings in the fence that might give too much "information" to passerbys.

Here is an anecdote I don't know where to place:

The revelation end of days plagues are starting to add up where Bush is concerned.

He had to cancel his Earth day appearence due to a freak giant hail storm. Yesterday he was evacuated from the white house due to a suspicious cloud. And of course there are those exploding toads ;)


28 Apr 05 - 11:21 AM (#1473243)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: Amos

Man, I bet the old adrenalin was popping in the basement! Wotta bird-brain.


A


28 Apr 05 - 11:23 AM (#1473247)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: Donuel

I can cover them with a nice beige remnent fo now.



XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Meanwhile here is a taste of my "End Days in Congress" screenplay...





You know John, the Republican party has so wrapped up the Christian voters by declaring all their candidates are appointed by God that I think you need to address the issue head on.

How do you propose to do that Mr. Soros?

You just need to find some authentic character who can inspire fundamentalists as well as humanists.

Fat chance, who are you going to find to depolarize fundamentalism?
Not even Saint Ralph the Nader can survive a multinational corporate attack. Besides there isn't such a thing as a Saintly politician.

Have you thought of praying?

Preying upon who?

No praying for a savior to restore democracy.
Join me: Please let there be a savior to deliver us from fascism by a man or woman and restore Democracy through out this land...

POOOOOFFF...
Oh my God!...Jesus...

"No gentleman just a humble carpenter that has been waiting for the right prayer to answer for a very long time. Now whats next on the agenda"

Who are you for real?

"You can just call me JC or even Jeeves for short. I understand you need some representation to oppose people appointed by God. Well I have a little score to settle with those people."

Well JC, if that is really your name, I suppose we will have to get your candidacy confirmed as long as we can document your eligibility and a little of your history.

"You won't find any paperwork on me, and what is written has been mostly twisted beyond recognition.

John: but how in the hell, excuse me, I just don't know how this is going to fly with the people let alone a Republican Congress.

"Let's just give it a try then."

...............


Special Congressional session as seen on C-Span:


The chair recognizes Tom Delay
"Mr. Chairman I thank you and the members of this special joint meeting and move that the democratic candidate allegedly named HeySoose Christ is ineligible to run for President". First of all he is not a real person. And if records do indicate he is even alive, he is not a naturalized citizen of the United States."
Point of order Mr. Chairman, my aids have informed me the sun has turned red and is traveling back wards in the sky!."
Over ruled Mr. Schumer. You may continue Mr. Delay.
"thank you Mr. Chairman, I would like to extend three minutes of my time to Mr. Trent Lott and reserve the right to extend and revise my remarks."
So granted.
Thank you Mr. Delay, I for one find it reprehensible that the Democrats would stoop so low as to drag Christianity in the mud like this with an imposter...this is sheer blasphemy and I intend to…
Mr. Chairman Point of Order
Yes Senator Clinton?
It was reported on CNN that it is raining frogs in DC and people are turning into pillars of salt...
Over ruled, please continue Mr. Lott.
"Thanking the chair could I please have time restored because of that interruption?
Yes, add 3 minutes to Mr. Lott's time.
"as I was saying I intend to investigate this homeless person in sandals with uncut hair who allegedly associates with prostitutes and expose him as the fraud he is and prosecute him to the furthest extent of the law."
A voice is heard from the gallery "Judge not lest ye be judged."
Remove that person from the Gallery…

MR CHAIRMAN
Yes Mr. Cheney
There is an unidentified airplane with a Kentucky Governor aboard that has entered Maryland airspace.
I believe we should
EVACUATE THE BUILDING AND RUN FOR YOUR undisclosed locations.

The Chamber is filled with a biminous light and a soothing voice spreads over the chaos...

"Relax, Ignore the fear monger of paralyzing Delay and consider your duty to the nation, your families and the world."

People then began to run more franticly...





to the tune of
(Has anybody seen my gal)





Eyes of blue
wears cheap shoes
He always knows just what to do
Will everybody vote JC?

Hairs a mess
Wears a dress
Says his daddy is the best
Will anybody vote JC?

You know that some folks
Hate that
he hangs with whores
Some folks say that
He seems to even love the poor.

Heaven sent
And hell bent
He's running for the President
Will anybody vote JC?

He's Democrat
That's a fact
He's got it in for all fat cats
Will everybody vote JC.

You know that some folks
Hate him
Cuz he's a Jew
Our folks love him
He is just like me and you


As President
Every Lent
The rich will give back
All they spent
Will everybody vote JC?

You know that some folks
say that
He's Socialist
I say it sure beats
George Bush and his torture iron fist

Jesus Christ
Men and mice
All think that JC is nice
Will everybody vote JC

Blacks and Jews
Athiests too
Join against the
Falwell crew
Will everybody vote JC?

The reverends On TV
have all
Denounced you
That they hate is
The one thing that we know is true.
Double U
Gets the flu
He turns right into
Soap and glue
Everyone suspects JC

Miracles
Spirituals
And songs that are
Satirical
Will anybody vote JC

The folks that hate
Say that
JC is a fraud
But they vanish
As if by some act of God

He's Democrat
That's a fact
He's got it in for all fat cats
Will everybody vote JC.






Eyes of blue
wears cheap shoes
He always knows just what to do
Will everybody vote JC?

Hairs a mess
Wears a dress
Says his daddy is the best
Will anybody vote JC?

*
You know that some folks
Hate that
he hangs with whores
Some folks say that
He seems to even love the poor.

Heaven sent
And hell bent
He's running for the President
Will anybody vote JC?

He's Democrat
That's a fact
He's got it in for all fat cats
Will everybody vote JC.

*
You know that some folks
Hate him
Cuz he's a Jew
Our folks love him
He is just like me and you


As President
Every Lent
The rich will give back
All they spent
Will everybody vote JC?

*
You know that some folks
say that
He's Socialist
I say it beats
George Bush's torture iron fist

Jesus Christ
Men and mice
All think that JC is nice
Will everybody vote JC

Blacks and Jews
Athiests too
Join against the
Falwell crew
Will everybody vote JC?


*
The TV
reverends
all Denounced you.
That they hate is
The one thing that we know is true.


Double U
Gets the flu
He turns right into
Soap and glue
Everyone suspects JC

Miracles
Spirituals
And songs that are
Satirical
Will anybody vote JC

*
The folks that hate
Say that
JC is a fraud
But they vanish
As if by some act of God

He's Democrat
That's a fact
He's got it in for all fat cats
Will everybody vote JC.


28 Apr 05 - 01:54 PM (#1473367)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: gnu

Take them down immediately.


28 Apr 05 - 02:32 PM (#1473401)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: SINSULL

You have my sympathy donuel. My son rescued an abandoned dove which had evidence of pecking attacks on its body. We nursed it back to health and he grew and he grew and he grew. I was convinced it was actually a seagull. In a moment of daftness I thought it might like the company of a mirror. I put it in the cage and the bird freaked out. Seems it was terrified of other birds. I nearly killed it and after that if I even set foot in the room the bird went into a fit.

That filthy bird was the only animal I have ever disliked. He ended up with the "Bird Lady of Queens" whose home had been converted into huge cages for injured and abandoned birds. I wish him long life and peace.


28 Apr 05 - 03:14 PM (#1473470)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: Metchosin

I agree with gnu, take it down immediately. The devastation caused by glass and mirrored glass to the songbird population is massive. Granted tall buildings on migration routes cause the greatest death tolls, but why add to the problem by erecting mirrors outdoors in residential areas.

Other neckbreaking obstacles include glassed in patios and decks. The little buggers have a hard enough time with free roaming cats, why add more problems to a life already fraught with danger?


28 Apr 05 - 03:27 PM (#1473487)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: Metchosin

Corner windows are particularly bad.

"Dr. Dan Klem of Muhlenberg College estimates that each year, in the United States alone, during migration 98 to 976 million birds fly full tilt into windows and are fatally injured.

Dr. Klem says we can minimize these collisions by breaking up the reflection on the outside of the window with a non-reflective window coating, window screens, flash tape and bird netting.

Planting trees and installing window awnings to block the sun from hitting the window may eliminate some reflection. Putting a bird feeder on or within a few feet of a window helps to slow birds down and lessen the effect of impact."

There, have I instilled enough guilt?


28 Apr 05 - 04:50 PM (#1473560)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: JohnInKansas

If the intent of the mirror is to make the space feel larger, you may be able to "break the image" enough to pacify the birds while still retaining a reflection of the garden scene by hanging something like a fishnet over the front of the mirror. Something with a 1/4 inch mesh or so might make the reflection sufficiently less "in your face" for the birds. And the birds will bounce better when they fly at the reflection.

Of course a few nice ferns would work as well, but netting grows faster.

The mirrored wall deco thing has been touted in a few places in the US too. The idea is to make it blend into the garden, and it can be hard to "soften" the reflection enough to avoid the "invasion of the techno monster" effect.

John


28 Apr 05 - 04:51 PM (#1473562)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: gnu

Are they down yet?


28 Apr 05 - 05:46 PM (#1473625)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: Uncle_DaveO

Donuel:

Some clever and funny thinking there, but two comments:

It wouldn't help JC's chances for the office even if he were a naturalized citizen. To be president you have to be born here.   

And your song, while clever, is way too long and repetitive.   

Oh, well.

Dave Oesterreich


28 Apr 05 - 08:05 PM (#1473781)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: Bobert

Like I've said before, if Jesus Chrisr were to return in the flesh today, Bush and his boys would arrest him just as the Romans did a couple thousand years ago...

But I loved the skit, Donuel...

Bobert


30 Apr 05 - 11:38 AM (#1475006)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: Donuel

I turned them around backwards easily since they happen to fit in the existing slots of the wood fence. It was the hatchling of the adult Mockingbird that was upset with the mirror by perching on a seven armed maiden statue that stands in the middle of a birdbath and was vehemently chirping at its reflection. The adult has no interest in the mirror this year.

re: the song, I accidently pasted it twice in a row. It is actually quite short.

If anyone here is familiar with the radio play The Investigator, one can see the opportunity to do a similar genre piece as it would apply to the current administration.


30 Apr 05 - 10:54 PM (#1475418)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: EBarnacle

Somebody has not been following the R.........s efforts to change the rules so that naturalized citizens can run for president, like Aaahnold.


30 Apr 05 - 11:18 PM (#1475430)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: Ebbie

Speaking of the Aahhnold, it sounds like he's losing some of his luster. Interesting if he became the kind of figure of fun that Jesse became.*

* For people across the various borders: Arnold Swartzenegger, governor of California, and Jesse Ventura, one term governor of Minnesota.


01 May 05 - 05:26 PM (#1475981)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: Mrrzy

Donuel, I almost fell out of my chair, that was great, you have to find a better place to put it!


01 May 05 - 05:36 PM (#1475987)
Subject: RE: BS: I did not mean to torture birds but...
From: GUEST

Put a teaspoon of dark rum in the hummingbird feeder. They seem to share better with other birds.