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BS: Bubba & Jim Bob's Live Bait & Sushi Bar

24 May 05 - 02:24 PM (#1492137)
Subject: BS: Bubba & Jim Bob's Live Bait & Sushi Bar
From: Bee-dubya-ell

Howdy, ya'll! An' welcome t' Bubba an' Jim Bob's Live Bait an' Sushi Bar, home obv th' worl' famous Throwed Sushi!

Yup, tha's us aw'ight! I'm Bubba an' he's Jim Bob. It ain't lack we iz twins er nothin'. Any damm fool kin tell th' diffrunce. I iz th' good lookin' one an' Jim Bob sorta smells funny.

Jus' come rat on in an' sitchyoreself down fer some good eatin'! Bubba an' Jim Bob's sushi is perpared frum only th' finest fish an' other slimey an' crawly thangs thet we kin catch here in th' swamp.

Here's our menu:

1) Catfish Sushi - Made frum only th' finest feelays obv genuine farm-raised catfish. No belly meat.

2) Mullet Sushi - Made frum genuine salt-water mullet, not them damm thangs tha's been way up-river where them dioxins an' such iz.

3) Gator Sushi - A Bubba an' Jim Bob's 'sclusive! Slices obv tender gator tail! Yum, yum!

4) Rattlesnake Sushi - Yee haw! Ya'll ain't tasted nothin' 'til ya chow down on sum raw rattler!

5) Crawfish Sushi - Made frum whole unshelled Looziana crawfish so's ya kin pinch da tail an' suck da head!

6) Roadkill Sushi - A surprise ever time! Cud be possum, cud be 'diller, or mebbe coyote er buzzard. Ya jus' dunno 'til it ya gits it, an' ya might still not know then!

7) Vienna Sausage Sushi - Fer the newcomers thet ain't so shore 'bout this sushi stuff. Tender slices obv genuine Armour Star Vienna Sausage. Yore choice obv reg'lar an' barbecue.

8) Potted Meat Sushi - Same deal as the Viennies only they ain't no sich thang as barbecue potted meat.

9) Th' Bubba an' Jim Bob Sushi Sampler - One of nummer one t' nummer six above.

10) Grow Yer Own Sushi - Jus' bring in whutever ya want sushi-ized an' our master sushi chef an' bait-cutter Buford will make it real purty fer ya. No questions asked. If it useta be yore neighbor's yappy little Cheewawa dawg it ain't none uh our bidness.

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All sushi is made wif yore choice of rice balls er grits balls (cheese grits balls extra) an' iz served wif saltine crackers an' halapeeno pepper sauce.


But wait! Th' eatin's only 'bout haff obv th' Bubba an' Jim Bob's coolinary 'sperience. It ain't called "Home obv th' Throwed Sushi" fer nothin'! Say ya orders Th' Bubba an' Jim Bob Sushi Sampler an' it don' quite do th' job of fillin' yer belly up. No problem! An' no need t' wait fer somebuddy t' come take yore order. Jus' holler out whut ya wants an' Buford'll make it rat up an fling it towards yore table. Jus' ketch it on th' fly an keep on chowin' down. When th' joint gits crowded an' th' crowds is hongry there's apt t' be sushi flyin' all over th' place!

An' by th' way, if'n ya bring yore Mamma-in-Law along an' she jus' don' like th idear obv sushi, jus' let us know. We still got sum MREs* lef' from whut th' FEMA fokes pased out after th' hur'cane. We kin fix one up in a hurry. Jus' don' ask fer th' Chicken Teriyaki 'cause Jim Bob dun et all obv 'em.

Ya'll come on out an see us now, ya hear? An' if yer hankerin' t' go fishin', we got yer nite-crawlers an' crickets an' Tawba worms too.


*MRE = "Meals Ready-to-Eat" if ya likes 'em or "Meals Rejected-by-Ethiopians" if ya don't.
24 May 05 - 02:28 PM (#1492143)
Subject: RE: BS: Bubba & Jim Bob's Live Bait & Sushi Bar
From: GUEST

I think you mean sashimi.

24 May 05 - 02:32 PM (#1492148)
Subject: RE: BS: Bubba & Jim Bob's Live Bait & Sushi Bar
From: Once Famous

The only thing anything like sushi I will go near is lox.

How about some on a bagel with some onion, tomato, and cream cheese?

24 May 05 - 02:34 PM (#1492151)
Subject: RE: BS: Bubba & Jim Bob's Live Bait & Sushi Bar
From: Bee-dubya-ell

I know the difference between sushi and sashimi. Bubba and Jim Bob don't.

24 May 05 - 02:36 PM (#1492156)
Subject: RE: BS: Bubba & Jim Bob's Live Bait & Sushi Bar
From: GUEST

lox isn't even vaguely like sushi. sushi is vinagered rice. Normally served wrapped in a processed seaweed wrap - though sometimes covered with a slice of sashimi. Other ingredients may or may not be added.

Lox is vaguely like sashimi

24 May 05 - 02:37 PM (#1492159)
Subject: RE: BS: Bubba & Jim Bob's Live Bait & Sushi Bar
From: GUEST

sorry - it's a button with me. I grew up knowing the difference long before sushi was the "in" thing.

24 May 05 - 03:29 PM (#1492204)
Subject: RE: BS: Bubba & Jim Bob's Live Bait & Sushi Bar
From: Rapparee

Got any Giant Squid?

24 May 05 - 04:14 PM (#1492245)
Subject: RE: BS: Bubba & Jim Bob's Live Bait & Sushi Bar
From: Bee-dubya-ell

Naw, ain't no giant squid in Calloway Swamp.

FWIW, the inspiration for the Throwed Sushi is Lambert's Cafe in Foley, Alabama. All they throw there is rolls, which is rather lame considering all the things that could be thrown in a restaurant. Throwed ice cream would be great and, of course, throwed pies. Throwed Ceasar Salad would get sorta messy and throwed coffee might be an invitation to a lawsuit.

24 May 05 - 05:32 PM (#1492299)
Subject: RE: BS: Bubba & Jim Bob's Live Bait & Sushi Bar
From: Rapparee

One time my friend Steve was visiting at our house when my brother said, "Steve, spread your fingers." Steve did, and Tony throwed a huntin' knife right 'twixt 'em. Stuck that ol' knife in the wall.

You could throw knives in a restraunt.

24 May 05 - 06:24 PM (#1492321)
Subject: RE: BS: Bubba & Jim Bob's Live Bait & Sushi Bar
From: CarolC

I was impressed to see that Lambert's lists cottage cheese in their vegetable selections.

24 May 05 - 07:54 PM (#1492379)
Subject: RE: BS: Bubba & Jim Bob's Live Bait & Sushi Bar
From: Sorcha

Whoever you are Guest, thank you. I was going to point out the difference between sushi (appetizers) and sashimi (raw fish). Fugu anyone?

24 May 05 - 08:36 PM (#1492410)
Subject: RE: BS: Bubba & Jim Bob's Live Bait & Sushi Bar
From: Bee-dubya-ell

To repeat, Bubba and Jim Bob are fictional characters. They've never heard the word "sashimi". Their creator, on the other hand, has not only heard of sashimi, but purchased many hundreds of dollars worth of it during his single days in, mostly, vain attempts to impress young women enough to get them to perform natural and unnatural acts with him.

By the way, the Live Bait an' Sushi Bar is strictly an evening gig for Bubba an' Jim Bob. They have day jobs running Bush-Hogs for the easement and right-of-way maintenance department down at the rural electric co-op. They get their jollies seeing who can piss off property owners the most by mowing down cultivated plants and trees, knocking down split-rail fences, and generally leaving a Godawful mess in their wake that the property owners have to clean up.

25 May 05 - 08:19 AM (#1492748)
Subject: RE: BS: Bubba & Jim Bob's Live Bait & Sushi Bar
From: GUEST

Buba and Jim-bob ain't real?