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20 Jun 05 - 08:25 AM (#1504988) Subject: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Dave the Gnome Latest phrase to be under threat! Couch Potatoes Well, if we can't have a chairman or a blackboard why should be be unfeeling of the sensitivity of the common spud... :D |
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20 Jun 05 - 08:47 AM (#1505007) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Geoff the Duck Personally, I think Sofa Solanum has a nice ring to it! Let's go Up-Market! (or was that veg market?) Quack! GtD. |
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20 Jun 05 - 09:18 AM (#1505023) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: GUEST,Bainbo If we want to go upmarket, why not call them suite potatoes? Or is that something else? This protest is (as I suspect the organisers know full well) not going to result in the language being changed. But it's got British spuds into the world's media - which may just have been the potato marketing people's aim in the first place. |
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20 Jun 05 - 11:28 AM (#1505145) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: *Laura* The... the... The British Potato Council!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!? |
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20 Jun 05 - 12:25 PM (#1505201) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: jacqui.c OK, what's going to be on the banners the demonstrators hold up? |
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20 Jun 05 - 12:34 PM (#1505210) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Little Hawk Slice 'em, dice 'em, and boil 'em in oil!!! |
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20 Jun 05 - 12:50 PM (#1505223) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Dave the Gnome Must be a song challenge as well... :D |
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20 Jun 05 - 01:18 PM (#1505244) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Rapparee The spud dudes out here in Idaho think that the British Potato Council is being damned silly. Expo. |
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20 Jun 05 - 01:56 PM (#1505274) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Uncle_DaveO Don't call ME no couch potato! I'm a mouse potato! (Actually a trackball potato, but that expression doesn't fly very well.) Dave Oesterreich |
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20 Jun 05 - 02:05 PM (#1505283) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Donuel Speaking of healthy foods I looked at the nutrition of various fruits and vegetables and found out that watermellon has the most nutrients of all. |
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20 Jun 05 - 02:31 PM (#1505302) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: gnu I live alone... soooo, would I be an ensuite potato? |
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20 Jun 05 - 02:34 PM (#1505306) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Peace Jaysus. Just read the link. How PC we gonna get? Potato Potatoette Hey, are there girl and guy potatoes? |
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20 Jun 05 - 02:37 PM (#1505308) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: rumanci dunno but they've usually got eyes on each other for some reason |
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20 Jun 05 - 02:52 PM (#1505322) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Peace Grooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. |
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20 Jun 05 - 03:04 PM (#1505340) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: bobad gnu you can be a gnu potato from gnu brunswick |
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20 Jun 05 - 03:40 PM (#1505368) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Geoff the Duck Would the Jersey Royals use a Windsor Sofa? Quack GtD. |
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20 Jun 05 - 07:15 PM (#1505524) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Shanghaiceltic Would an English potato travelling by ferry to Franch be couchette potato? Pomme de terre sur chaise longue does not have the same ring to it. Why did the Arabs get the oil and the Irish the potato? Irish had first choice ;-) |
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20 Jun 05 - 07:24 PM (#1505537) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: gnu Mmmmm. New potatoes. Soon. And all those delicious veggies. I loves me veggie stew. Potatoes, corn, green beans, wax beans, carrots, turnip, cabbage, beets with the greens on, onions, spinach, Swiss chard, a pinch of summer savory, two pinches of salt, and a large dollop of butter. I can hear my guts rumbling already. Mmmmm. |
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20 Jun 05 - 08:47 PM (#1505577) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: GUEST,Shanghaiceltic No doubt 'new' potato's will be banned as a term, ageism! |
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20 Jun 05 - 08:52 PM (#1505578) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Blissfully Ignorant Since when did potatoes have a reputation for being unhealthy? I mean, they could be if one were to hit you on the head, but otherwise....nah... |
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20 Jun 05 - 11:50 PM (#1505660) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Bee-dubya-ell I've never associated the term "couch potato" with health. I've always associated it with immobility. A couch potato sits on a sofa and doesn't move. Last time I checked, the ability to move of its own volition was not one of the potato's principle characteristics. Are the protesting potato purveyors trying to tell us that potatoes are, in fact, mobile? Will we be seeing potatoes arising from sofas and running marathons? |
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21 Jun 05 - 08:08 AM (#1505885) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Geoff the Duck I've seen stranger things running in the telly broadcasts of the London Marathon! And would a King Edward be a Throne Potato? Quack! GtD. |
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21 Jun 05 - 08:43 AM (#1505914) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Rapparee Okay. I'm gonna tell you all the truth about potatoes. Because what I'm going to relate is hard for some people to grasp, let me preface these remarks by saying that ever since I came to Idaho and the Snake River Plain I've been awed by the numbers of spuds produced here. Last fall I was stopped at a crossing by a train of 127 hopper cars, each of which was filled with taters. Potatoes are such big business here that the motto of Idaho is "Famous Potatoes" and is found on license plates. Idaho is proud of this vegetable, which is eaten by folks around the world. And it's a lie. After considerable research, digging down deeply to get to the truth, I've discovered that the potato is actually a parasite. Yes, a parasite. What you see above the ground is actually bait. The potato, which is actually a blind, subterranean creature similar to a mole (without the fur -- sort of like a chihuahua dog), moves below the surface eathing rhizomes, slow earthworms, mycelium, nematodes, and similar things. But the American Indian discovered centuries ago that these dim-witted critters can simply love the roots of Solanum tuberosum, a plant of otherwise no significance at all. The potato senses the presence of S. tuberosum by microscopic receptors in its skin and will travel amazing distances to reach it. Once it finds the roots, the potato (or "potatoe" is it is sometimes spelled by Dan Quayle) attachs itself to a convenient root and sucks the sap of the plant. Idaho and Maine, to use but two examples of potato country, used to be as flat as central Illinois. Beneath their soil potatoes moved, going about their potato business of buying and selling, reproducing, pawning their watches, mortgaging their homes, driving too fast for conditions, and searching for roots to suck. Especially the last. When the Indians, and later the White Man, found our about the little suckers' sucking habits they would deliberately cultivate S. tuberosum, creating huge fields of "bait." When the time was ripe the tops of the plants would be cut off and a few days later the suckling potatoes, their skins now hard, would be dug up and ignominously tossed into a basker or other container to be stored for winter food. So well has this been done for so long that both Idaho and Maine have had huge swathes of land subside because of the harvest of that subsurface parasite, the potato. In Idaho, for example, the subsidence in the Mount Borah area alone has been over 12,000 feet (more than 3,657,600 millimeters). I will leave it to you to figure out how many potatoes have been harvested in this one area alone! Mt. Katadin, up in Maine, is yet another example. So there you have it: potatoes are really soft, pasty, creatures that humans have addicted to an equivalent of a crack cocaine and methamphetamine cocktail. Humans then rip these inoffensive beings from their dark, warm home beneath the soil after subjecting them to the potato equivalent of "cold turkey" drug withdrawal, throw them into bins, store them in darkness without food, and eventually cook and eat their dead flesh with butter and sour cream. And it's been going on for ten thousand years. |
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21 Jun 05 - 10:05 AM (#1505977) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Geoff the Duck A very interesting explanation, but how does it explain the affinity which the little blighters have with soft furniture? Quack! Geoff the Duck. |
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21 Jun 05 - 10:15 AM (#1505982) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Peace Gawd dammit: Is there or is there ain't male and female potatoes? You folks don't seem to differentiate between serious and frivilous questions. |
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21 Jun 05 - 01:17 PM (#1506097) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: sixtieschick Pray for peace and grace and spiritual food, For wisdom and guidance, for all these are good, But don't forget the potatoes. —Prayer and Potatoes, by J. T. Pettee What I say is that, if a fellow really likes potatoes, he must be a pretty decent sort of fellow. —Winnie the Pooh, by A. A. Milne |
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21 Jun 05 - 02:00 PM (#1506128) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Emma B An attachment á la Plato for a bashful young potato... -W.S.Gilbert Patience |
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21 Jun 05 - 03:16 PM (#1506183) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Rapparee Yes, Geoff, potatoes are male and female, but nobody but potatoes care. They might even swap back and forth, the little perverts. |
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21 Jun 05 - 03:26 PM (#1506187) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Don(Wyziwyg)T Well that seems to cover the subject, and, based on the posts, the eyes have it. Don T. |
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21 Jun 05 - 03:48 PM (#1506202) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: sixtieschick Rapaire, have you contacted Homeland Security yet? Your shocking revelations should raise the alert-o-meter to at least an orange. M. |
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21 Jun 05 - 04:11 PM (#1506219) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: gnu Orange alert? You mean they're spraying the potato tops with Agent Orange again just before harvest? I thought they were using Round-Up now... wait, no, that's illegal too... oh yeah, now they use Vision so that the harvesters don't gum up. Much better stuff. Wash your potaoes REAL good folks. |
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22 Jun 05 - 04:27 AM (#1506668) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Geoff the Duck Rapaire - my query was about the predeliction which pota(and their)toes seem to have for reclining on a couch, not about their sex. Personally, I do not wish to hear about the sex of potatoes, and would like to suggest that if they DO intend to have sex, they take it to their bedroom and not do it on the sofa, Thank You! Even better, perhaps they should take it into another thread and leave this one alone. Quack! Geoff the Duck. |
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22 Jun 05 - 04:54 AM (#1506678) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: GUEST,CrazyEddie "Will we be seeing potatoes arising from sofas and running marathons?" Now that's just silly! Everyone knows they leave that to the runner-beans |
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22 Jun 05 - 06:33 AM (#1506731) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: GUEST,Wouldn't a female potato be a potata? |
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22 Jun 05 - 08:43 AM (#1506837) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Rapparee Potatoes, as I said, are male and female. I shan't discuss the matter beyond that, even though I (shudder!) know more about it than I really want to know. I will say, and only to satisfy your prurient interest, that What Goes On is degrading, disgusting, degenerate, and other, similar, words that begin with "d" -- and the word "pervert" quite adequately describes them. (AND they do it in the street and scare the horses! Humph!) |
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22 Jun 05 - 10:12 AM (#1506926) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Emma B Looking out of my study window all I can see is fields and fields of the litle buggers! Rapaire you've got me really worried now...... "where the potato-gatherers like mechanized scarecrows move" Patrick Kavanagh |
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22 Jun 05 - 10:18 AM (#1506933) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Peace So, like, if there's male and female potatoes, how do they uh, well, you know, uh, how do they--ah, c'mon, help me out here. What's the word I'm lookin' for? Uh, how does he get the starch in her? There. Whew! |
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22 Jun 05 - 10:23 AM (#1506942) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: GUEST,Bainbo Brucie, I think the word you're lookin for is "root". |
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22 Jun 05 - 10:32 AM (#1506952) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: rumanci hmmmm - they saute root about just to create chips off the old block - perhaps they will jacket in now that people have noticed rum |
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22 Jun 05 - 10:40 AM (#1506956) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: freda underhill How do they do it? ....... two potatos gettin'hot together can only mean one thing... I was working in the lab late one night When my eyes beheld an eerie sight For my monster from his slab began to rise And suddenly to my surprise He did the mash He did the monster mash The monster mash It was a graveyard smash He did the mash It caught on in a flash He did the mash He did the monster mash From my laboratory in the castle east To the master bedroom where the vampires feast The ghouls all came from their humble abodes To get a jolt from my electrodes They did the mash They did the monster mash The monster mash It was a graveyard smash They did the mash It caught on in a flash They did the mash They did the monster mash The zombies were having fun The party had just begun The guests included Wolf Man Dracula and his son The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds The coffin-bangers were about to arrive With their vocal group, "The Crypt-Kicker Five" They played the mash They played the monster mash The monster mash It was a graveyard smash They played the mash It caught on in a flash They played the mash They played the monster mash Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring Seems he was troubled by just one thing He opened the lid and shook his fist And said, "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?" It's now the mash It's now the monster mash The monster mash And it's a graveyard smash It's now the mash It's caught on in a flash It's now the mash It's now the monster mash Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band And my monster mash is the hit of the land For you, the living, this mash was meant too When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you Then you can mash Then you can monster mash The monster mash And do my graveyard smash Then you can mash You'll catch on in a flash Then you can mash Then you can monster mash (Bobby "Boris" Pickett) ps can i have butter & salt with that? |
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22 Jun 05 - 11:42 AM (#1507019) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Rapparee Don't Slay That Potato by Tom Paxton How can you do it? It's heartless, it's cruel. It's murder, cold-blooded, it's gross. To slay a poor vegetable just for your stew Or to serve with some cheese sauce on toast. Have you no decency? Have you no shame? Have you no conscience, you cad, To rip that poor vegetable out of the earth Away from its poor mom and dad? CHORUS: Oh, no, don't slay that potato! Let us be merciful, please. Don't boil it or fry it, don't even freeze-dry it. Don't slice it or flake it. For God's sake, don't bake it! Don't shed the poor blood Of this poor helpless spud. That's the worst kind of thing you could do. Oh, no, don't slay that potato What never done nothing to you! Why not try picking on something your size Instead of some carrot or bean? The peas are all trembling there in their pod Just because you're so vicious and mean. How would you like to be grabbed by your hair And ruthlessly yanked from your bed And have done to you God knows what horrible things, To be eaten with full-fiber bread? (CHORUS) It's no bed of roses, this vegetable life. You're basically stuck in the mud. You don't get around much. You don't see the sights When you're a carrot or celery or spud. You're helpless when somebody's flea-bitten dog Takes a notion to pause for relief. Then somebody picks you and cleans you and eats you And causes you nothing but grief. (CHORUS) There ought to be some way of saving our skins. They ought to be passing a law. Just show anybody a cute little lamb And they'll all stand around and go "Aw!" Well, potatoes are ugly. Potatoes are plain. We're wrinkled and lumpy to boot. But give me a break, kid. Do you mean to say That you'll eat us because we're not cute? (CHORUS |
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22 Jun 05 - 02:21 PM (#1507161) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Charley Noble Great songs! Being from the great State of Maine I can fully understand why The British Potato Council doesn't see eye to eye with the Oxford Dictionary folks, and why they find the term "couch potato" less than appealing... We don't get no respect from them half-baked lexiconners! Potato growers of the world arise! You've got nothing to lose but your skins. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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23 Jun 05 - 08:02 AM (#1507862) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: GUEST,Bainbo Poem de Terre |
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24 Jun 05 - 09:11 AM (#1508808) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Geoff the Duck Don't expect much respect from half-baked potatoes either..... Quack! GtD. |
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25 Jun 05 - 09:18 AM (#1509394) Subject: RE: BS: Don't call me a couch potato! From: Geoff the Duck Or from half Baked Potatoes... Quack! GtD. |