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Folklore: Limericks...know any good ones [15]

30 Aug 05 - 08:12 PM (#1553129)
Subject: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: UncleToad

Hello all 'catters...I wish to compile some funny limerics and my first thought was (of course) the 'catters...a most diverse lot of critters.

There was a young lady from France
who never wore any pants

how 'bout the rest.

Thank you kindly, Uncle(NeedToLaughMyArseOff)Toad

AND keep wishing this old world the best.


31 Aug 05 - 04:59 AM (#1553329)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: Micca

There was a young lady from France
who never wore any pants

So the cold seaside wind
revealed her rear end
when she went on a day trip to Nantes


31 Aug 05 - 05:35 AM (#1553353)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: Lanfranc

Once Titian, while mixing rose madder,
Saw his model girl pose on a ladder.
Her position to Titian
Suggested coition
So he climbed up the ladder and 'ad 'er!

A young American seeking romance
Took his girl on a date to a dance
As she twirled in his arms
Her perfume and her charms
Caused a damp patch to form on his trousers.


31 Aug 05 - 06:45 AM (#1553397)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: Leadfingers

Uncle Toad - IF you put 'Limericks' in the search box you will find several threads about 'em . Including a few that I posted , back in the good old days !


31 Aug 05 - 07:51 AM (#1553450)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: kendall

My fAvorite is still:

A mathmetician named Hall
Had a hexehedronical ball.
The cube of its weight
Plus his pecker, times eight
Was four fifths of five eights of fuck all.


31 Aug 05 - 08:39 AM (#1553485)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: Cluin

Doot doot doobie doo, a do wop wop
Scoot scoot scoobie doo, a be bop bop
a fiddle dee dee
a diddle ee dee
Scootle opp a be bop wah!


31 Aug 05 - 08:40 AM (#1553487)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Vince

here's two (almost)...

There once was a man who insisted
that his annkle was sprained and not twisted
he hobbled about
and gave a great shout
when he stepped on a step, but he missed it!

A terrible poet was Jenny
Her limericks weren't worth a penny
In technique they were sound
Though often she found
whenever she tried to write any
she always wrote one line too many

(Sorry, so sorry...)


Vince


31 Aug 05 - 08:46 AM (#1553491)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: Cluin

There was a young lady from France
Who found a dead crow in her pants
She wasn't desirous
To contract West Nile Virus
But decided to leave things to chance


31 Aug 05 - 09:13 AM (#1553513)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: freda underhill

A dentist, young Mr Malone,
Got a strapping young client alone,
And in his depravity
He filled the wrong cavity.
And he drilled her right down to the bone

There was a young women, Loretta
Who wore a merino wool sweater.
Three reasons she had:
To keep warm was not bad,
But the other two reasons were better.***

***Note: The other two reasons were: (1) to support the Australian economy; (2) to shun non-union apparel produced under the appalling sweat-shop work environments found in many other countries.

A nifty young jockey named Morse, eh,
Fell madly in love with his horse, eh.
His wife said, "you rapscallion,
That horse is a stallion.
This constitutes grounds for divorce, eh."


31 Aug 05 - 09:17 AM (#1553515)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: freda underhill

Some Say That Karl Rove Should Apologize
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some say that Karl Rove should apologize,
Cause he slandered the Dems with derisive lies.
Will he yield? I think not.
Cause his speech was a plot
To distract us from failure and war unwise.


31 Aug 05 - 04:00 PM (#1553657)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: Georgiansilver

There was a young man from Salisbury,
Whose manners were quite Halisbury Scalisbury.
He would walk around Hampshire,
Without any Pampshire,
Till the Bishop insisted he Walisbury.





Doesn't make much sense until you discover that the shortened version of Salisbury is Sarum and the shortened version of Hampshire is Hants.......


Best wishes, Mike.


01 Sep 05 - 10:16 AM (#1553697)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: Midchuck

I think I posted this before...

A gay Irish priest in New Delhi
Had the Lord's Prayer tattooed on his belly.
By the time that a Brahmin
Got down to the "Amen,"
He'd blown both salvation and Kelly.

Peter.


01 Sep 05 - 10:37 AM (#1553737)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: kendall

Peter, you are something else! LOL


01 Sep 05 - 10:51 AM (#1553759)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: UncleToad

These are great...

finish this one...

There was a young lady from Nice
who decided to go find her a piece


01 Sep 05 - 12:28 PM (#1553854)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Slim Eric

Her breasts were worth holdin,
Her hair it was golden,
And so was her sweet little 'fleece'


01 Sep 05 - 03:51 PM (#1554089)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Mrr

OK, here goes:

A young maid who was no good at tennis
At swimming was really a menace
She took pains to explain
"It depends how you train:
I was a streetwalker - in Venice."

There was a young man from Quebec
Who was buried in snow to his neck
When they said Are you frizz?
He replied Yes I is!
But we don't call this cold in Quebec.

There was a young man from St. Bees
Who was stung in the arm by a wasp
When they asked Does it hurt
he replied No it doesn't
But I'm so glad it wasn't a hornet!


01 Sep 05 - 03:59 PM (#1554100)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST,DB

There was a young Marquis of Avebury,
In the grip of a vice most unsavoury,
With bloodcurdling howls,
He deflowered young owls,
Which he kept in an underground aviary.


This is an example of a 'gothic limerick' - a special sub-category. Anyone know any more?


01 Sep 05 - 04:59 PM (#1554145)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Slim Eric

There was a young man from Hunts,
Who stood on the bridge at Buckingham.
Watching the stunts of the c.... in the punts,
And the tricks of the p..... that were f......'em


01 Sep 05 - 06:35 PM (#1554226)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: UncleToad

You 'catters are awesome...

finish this'un...

There was an old lady from Paris
who lusted after young Harris


Uncle(LaffingMyArseOffToad


01 Sep 05 - 06:57 PM (#1554253)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Slim Eric

She stood naked on the street,
Then she fell at his feet,
But only made Harris Embarrassed.


01 Sep 05 - 07:00 PM (#1554262)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Slim Eric.

I will finish any limerick you start as long as I don't have to find something to rhyme with the following:
Orange, silver or purple
Thank you.


01 Sep 05 - 07:01 PM (#1554264)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: Micca

There was an old lady from Paris
who lusted after young Harris

her decaying charm
caused him such alarm
he was last seen running towards Arras


01 Sep 05 - 07:06 PM (#1554268)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: *Laura*

Poverty Knock is written in Limericks.


02 Sep 05 - 06:02 AM (#1554570)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Slim Eric

alright alright, you have a go.

There was a young lady from Herts,
Who was clever at making jam tarts.

go on, you now you can do it.


02 Sep 05 - 10:12 AM (#1554744)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST

There was a young lady from Herts,
Who was clever at making jam tarts
Their fame was spread far
From her home (Potters Bar)
When they were blamed for an outbreak of farts


02 Sep 05 - 11:37 AM (#1554826)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: UncleToad

try this'un

There was a young priest from Kent
whose sermons were always hellbent

Uncle(LaughAMinute)Toad

Pray for our way of life...


02 Sep 05 - 01:35 PM (#1554919)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Slim Eric

Although they were 'bless' full,
They were so unsuccessful,
He ended his days in a tent.


02 Sep 05 - 05:41 PM (#1555028)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: Bill D

"A girl who went out wearing nothing,
------------------------------
------------------------
------------------------
--------------------------------"

"Bartender, please draw me a pint,
------------------------------
------------------------
------------------------
--------------------------------"


"A young man once spent a whole month
------------------------------
------------------------
------------------------
--------------------------------"


*grin*


02 Sep 05 - 06:27 PM (#1555068)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Bernie

A pirate,so history relates
Was horsing around with his mates
He fell on his cutlass,which rendered him nutless
And totally usless on dates


A strapping young fellow named Cass
had two balls of fine,solid brass
When jangled together,they played "Stormy Weather"
And lightning shot out of his ass.


A fine-looking lassie named Lee
Was raped by an ape in a tree
The result was just horrid,all arse and no forehead
Three balls and a purple goatee.


02 Sep 05 - 07:10 PM (#1555100)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Slim Eric.

With poetic licence Bill D:-

A girl who went out wearing nothing,
From her boyfriend received a good cuffing.
It was not for her rudity,
or general crudity,
But because she was getting a muffing.

Bartender please draw me a pint,
Of your best American ale,
It's not that I worry
Bout other pubs slurry.
But it always looks a bit pale.

A young man once spent a whole month,
Enjoying each wonderful night.
Although all the covers
On his bed were all loose,
The bugger was always up---tight


02 Sep 05 - 07:14 PM (#1555102)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Slim Eric.

There was a young man from Ghent,
Whose prick was exceedingly bent.
To save him much trouble,
He bent it in double,
And instead of coming..He went!


02 Sep 05 - 07:18 PM (#1555106)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: catspaw49

We've had about a hundred limerick threads but what the hell.........

I like the alliterative quality of this one:

There once was a man named Magruder
Who met a nude and he wooed her.
But she thought it was crude
To be wooed in the nude
But Magruder was shrewd...and he screwed her.


A beautiful image here.......

THe was a young man named Glass
Who had two balls both made of brass.
When he rubbed them together
They played "Stormy Weather"
And lightning shot out of his ass.


These two make a conversation of sorts.........

While I sat by the Duchess at tea
She asked, "Do you fart when you pee?"
I replied with some wit,
"Do you belch when you shit?"
And felt it was one up for me!

But the Duchees turned and asked me
If an eggplant I ever did see.
When I replied, "Yes," rather bored
She said "Sir you've explored
Up a hen's ass much further than me!"


A little bestiality..........

Pretty young Janice McNair
Was had by a man all covered with hair.
Then he took off his hat
And Jan realized that
She'd been fucked by Smokey the Bear.


For the beer lover..........

A pretty young miss named Ann Hiser
Claimed that no man could surprise her.
But Pabst took a chance
And found Schlitz in her pants
Now he is sadder...Budweiser.



Don't get me started. BTW, don't post "The Farter from Sparta" as it has been posted several times before here.

Spaw


02 Sep 05 - 09:38 PM (#1555202)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: Bill D

yessir, 'spaw...I mean nossir, 'spaw....


(not bad, eric...considering...)


03 Sep 05 - 02:32 AM (#1555259)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: catspaw49

Geeze that did come off badly didn't it? LOL.......Sorry all! I think I've gotten used to jacking around with Shambles so much that I ain't fit for real folks no more.

Spaw


03 Sep 05 - 12:28 PM (#1555477)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: UncleToad

and these...

There was an old spinster from York
who diddled her clit with a fork

There was a young cowboy from Idaho
who rode into town to rideaho

There was a spinster from Dover
in her garden did bend over

There was a young tart from Touloose
who was rumored to be quite loose

Uncle(KeepEmComing)Toad


03 Sep 05 - 01:49 PM (#1555487)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST,There was an old spinster from York,


03 Sep 05 - 02:02 PM (#1555494)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: Nigel Parsons

There is a Mudcatter named Shambles
Who bores us with incessant rambles.
He thinks that his fate
Is to cause 'mass debate'.
So let's toss him...













....Into the brambles

Nigel


03 Sep 05 - 04:21 PM (#1555572)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: Tannywheeler

My daughter, now 38yrs.old, wrote this one in 5th grade.

A grasshopper hopped on a square.
He hopped on a girl sitting there.
He chirped in her ear,
Which filled her with fear,
And sent her sky high in the air.

Love to all.                  Tw


03 Sep 05 - 07:04 PM (#1555647)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Slim Eric

There was a young spinster from York,
Who diddled her clit with a fork.
With a knife she tried too,
But did not have a clue,
A knife did not have enough torque.

There was a young spinster from Idaho
Who rode into town to rideaho,
She could lie on her back,
And open her crack,
But preferred to do it from the Sideaho.

There was a young spinster from Dover,
In her garden did try to bend over,
But for heavens sake,
She sat down on the rake,
And thought that it was Casanova.

There was a young tart from Toulouse,
Who was rumoured to be somewhat loose.
She removed of her pants,
In the middle of France,
And ended up in the caboose.

Any more for any more........


04 Sep 05 - 12:34 AM (#1555843)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Barrie Roberts

A couple of 'religious' ones:

There was a young lady in Crewe
That the curate was longing to screw,
She said, 'I'd rather the Vicar,
He's thicker and quicker
And six times longer than you!'

There was a young curate named Bings,
Who discoursed upon God and such things,
But his secret desire
Was a boy in the choir
With a bum like two jellies on springs.

And a tongue-twister:

To his girl said the lynx-eyed detective,
'Could it be that my eyesight's defective?
Has your east tit the least bit
The best of your west tit---
Or is it my sense of perspective?'


04 Sep 05 - 03:04 PM (#1556014)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Slim Eric

There was a young girl from Frod,
Who was having a baby from God.
It was not the Almighty,
That crawled up her nightie,
But the vicar, the dirty old sod.


05 Sep 05 - 07:15 AM (#1556433)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Slim Eric

There was a young man from Mondatta,
Who people thought was a mad hatter.
He was really quite clever,
And will be for ever.
Because he is an avid 'mudcatter'


05 Sep 05 - 09:30 AM (#1556505)
Subject: RE: BS: Limerics...know any good ones
From: Schantieman

There once was a man from Dunoon
Who always ate soup with a fork
For he said, "As I eat
Neither fish, fowl nor flesh
I should finish my dinner too quick".

Another young man from Dundee
Was stung on the arm by a wasp.
When asked, "Does it hurt?"
He replied, "No, it doesn't -
I'm so glad it wasn't a hornet".

A lady who lived on the Humber
Had a wond'rous collection of lumber:
Old boots and tin whistles,
A brush without bristles,
Three harps and a fossilised plumber.

*****RUDE ONES BELOW!*****


And I'm sure, 'twas a fellow from Kent
Whose prick was so long that it bent.
To save himself trouble
He put it in double
And instead of coming, he went.

(But it might have been Ghent)

There once was a chap from Nantucket
Whose prick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it".

Another young fellow from Buckingham...


05 Sep 05 - 04:36 PM (#1556857)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Slim Eric

Comje on peeps keep it going


05 Sep 05 - 04:55 PM (#1556881)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Cluin

There once was a man named St. John
Who was packing a whopping great engine
In bed, when his wife
Expressed fear for her life
St. John would insist "Stop your whingein'!"


06 Sep 05 - 01:59 AM (#1557223)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Coyote Breath

Gothic ehh?

A foolish young woman named Gwen
Was of seen with the 'wrong kind of men'
She vanished one day
And the following May
Her legs were retrieved from a fen.

or

The disection of Vavasour Scowles
Was a sickener; they came on his bowles
In a firken; his brain
was found Clogging a drain
and his toes were done up in some towels.

The above were written by Edward Gorey who pens the most exquisite gothic limericks with delicious illustrations to match. I'd write more but my children have stolen all my Edward Gorey books and those were the only ones I could remember.

CB


06 Sep 05 - 08:34 AM (#1557401)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Midchuck

The above were written by Edward Gorey who pens the most exquisite gothic limericks with delicious illustrations to match. I'd write more but my children have stolen all my Edward Gorey books and those were the only ones I could remember.

Here's a bunch more.

Peter.


06 Sep 05 - 11:12 AM (#1557539)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Flash Company

There was a young lady named Gloria,
Who was raped by the Comte du Maurier,
Then to her surprise,
by three other guys
And the band from the Waldorf Astoria!

Fc


06 Sep 05 - 04:13 PM (#1557892)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Slim Eric

There was a young man from Stroud,
Who was having a bit in the crowd.
A chap at the front,
turned around and said "c***",
Just like that and not very loud.


07 Sep 05 - 11:37 AM (#1558540)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Flash Company

An incestuous young girl from Dunbar
Said 'At golf, I am sure to go far,
I've no putter or driver,
But I'll bet you a fiver,
I can still play around under pa(r)'

There was a young girl from Madras,
Who had a remarkable ass,
Not rounded and pink
As you probably think,
It was grey, had long ears and ate grass!

There was a young lady from Thrace,
Who's corset would no longer lace,
Her mother said, 'Nellie,
There's more in your belly
Than ever went in through your face!'

Want any more?

FC


08 Sep 05 - 05:43 AM (#1558864)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Slim Eric

Go for it Flash!


08 Sep 05 - 08:50 AM (#1558982)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Rapparee

The limerick gets laughs astronomical
In a space that is quite economical
But the good ones I seen
Are seldom so clean
And the clean ones are seldom so comical.


08 Sep 05 - 11:57 AM (#1559110)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Mrr

By Edward Gorey:

The babe, with a cry brief and dismal
Fell into the waters baptismal;
Ere they'd gathered its plight
It had sunk out of sight
For the depth of the font was abysmal.

and

Each night father fills me with dread
As he sits at the foot of my bed
I'd not mind that he speaks
In gibbers and squeaks
But for 17 years he's been dead.

and, a music one:

They had come from the fugue to the stretto
When a bearded young man from the ghetto
Reached forward and grabbed
Her tresses and stabbed
Her to death with a rusty stiletto.


09 Sep 05 - 06:48 AM (#1559628)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Flash Company

A young man called Cholmondely Colquohoun
Once kept, as a pet, a Baboquohoun,
His mother said 'Cholmondely,
Do you think that it's colmondely
To feed your Baboquohoun with a spoquohoun?'

It helps if you know the name in line 1 is pronounced 'Chumley Colhoon'

There was a young lady named Gwen
Who just did it now and again,
And again, and agajn,
And again, and again,
And again and again and again!

There was a young man from Darjeelin,
Who got on a bus down in Ealing,
A sign on the door
said 'Don't spit on the floor,
So he lay down and spat on the ceiling!

I'm off to Cornwall for another two weeks now, keep it going whilst I'm away.

FC


13 Sep 05 - 08:13 PM (#1563108)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: GUEST,bigp

You may have heard these before...........

There was a young man from Hocket,
Who got blasted up in a rocket,
The force of the blast blew his balls up his arse,
And they found his cock in his pocket

There was a young Nun from Nigeria,
Whos morales were rather inferior,
She done to someone what she shouldn't have done,
And now shes a mother superior

There was a young Man from Leeds,
Who swalowed a packet of seeds,
Flowers and grass grew out of his arse,
And around his balls were weeds


13 Sep 05 - 09:34 PM (#1563154)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Mrrzy

What about the one where she offered her honor, he honored her offer, and all night long he was on her and off her?


14 Sep 05 - 06:49 PM (#1563839)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Midchuck

An incredible fact, although true
Concerning the sage, Lao-Tzu
Is that when questioned how
One attained the Great Tao,
He replied, and in English, "F*** You!"

Peter.


14 Sep 05 - 07:39 PM (#1563878)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Lanfranc

Variations on a theme....

Once a lesbian whore from Khartoum
Took a gay Arab up to her room
But they argued all night
About who had the right
To do what, and with which and to whom.

There was a Scots whore from Pitlochry
Who once turned a trick in a rockery
When she found he had come
All over her bum
She cried, "'Tisnae a f**k, it's a mockery!"

A New York hooker called Sandy
Was quite preternaturally randy
She serviced ten cops
And several wops
And a fire hydrant because it was handy.


15 Sep 05 - 05:41 PM (#1564586)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: UncleToad

You 'catters have come up with some real good'uns.

Finish this'un...

Old Mother Hubbard
went to the cupboard
to get her poor doggie a bone

Uncle(Can'tRememberThePunchLine)Toad


16 Sep 05 - 01:16 PM (#1564983)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Slim Eric

But when she bent down, the doggie went round,
And gave her a bone of his own!


26 Sep 05 - 04:31 PM (#1571040)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: GUEST

there was a man called pete
who liked the smell of womens feet
when his wife found
without a doubt
there was no action under their sheet


26 Sep 05 - 07:47 PM (#1571110)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Ron Edwards

there once was a plumber named Lee
who was plumbing his girl by the sea
said the gal to the plumber
I hear some one coming
said the plumber still plumbing Its ME


26 Sep 05 - 07:56 PM (#1571119)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Bill D

getting worse here. That last one was truly hopless.

How come when a limerick thread starts, there are a predictable 9-10 that ALWAYS show up? If YOU have known it for 40 years, chances are everyone else has too.

There are a few nice creative attempts up there...and several that are pretty good and NOT from the list of "25 most repeated limericks of all time"

Let's dig up some like this gem! (and DO attempt to keep the basic limerick meter, perhaps?)


26 Sep 05 - 07:59 PM (#1571123)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Bill D

left out the limerick!

"There was a young fellow named Hyde,
Who fell down a privy and died.
His unfortunate brother,
Fell down another.
And now they're interred side-by-side."


26 Sep 05 - 08:02 PM (#1571124)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Bill D

oh...when I said "that last one", I meant 'guests' contribution...Ron Edward's offering is merely about # 3 on the most quoted of all time...*grin*....It has been translated into several languages, including Latin!


27 Sep 05 - 08:01 AM (#1571372)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Mr Red

There was a young man named Morse
Who went for a ride on a donkey
He tripped on a hummock
And fell on his head
And got up and said tut! Tut!

A man from Henly in Arden
Whos wife........................ er perhaps not


27 Sep 05 - 02:13 PM (#1571633)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Richard Bridge

There was a young girl from Aberystwith
Drove her chaff to the mill to make grist with
The miller's son Jack
Laid her flat on her back
And united the organs they pissed with.


27 Sep 05 - 02:21 PM (#1571641)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Pseudolus

My all-time favorite which is from another limeric thread but I couldn't find it nor remember who posted it...

There once was a man named McKnight
Whose limericks were never quite right
They's go on just fine
til the very last line
And they they just seemed to fall apart somehow.....


I'm sure I didn't get that word for word but....

Frank


29 Sep 05 - 06:25 AM (#1571939)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: GUEST,CrazyEddie

................................
to travel much faster than light,
He set out one day,
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.


does anyone know the first line?


29 Sep 05 - 06:45 AM (#1571954)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: JennyO

A rocket explorer named Wright
Once traveled much faster than light.
He set out one day
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.


29 Sep 05 - 04:48 PM (#1572371)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: GUEST

refresh til I can come back and read 'em


29 Sep 05 - 06:22 PM (#1572422)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Dead Horse

No


30 Sep 05 - 10:53 AM (#1572737)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: Schantieman

A relative lady called Bright....


20 Oct 05 - 11:58 AM (#1587036)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Byrhthelm

There was a young man from Japan
Whose poetry never would scan
When they asked him why
He said in reply
It's because I always try and fit as many syllables on the last line as I can.


20 Oct 05 - 09:08 PM (#1587423)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: UncleToad

I am glad some good 'catter raised this thread from the abyss...

Great Material!

Uncle(FeelsGoodToLaff)Toad


20 Oct 05 - 09:17 PM (#1587427)
Subject: RE: BS: Limericks...know any good ones
From: GUEST,Joe_f

A lady lubricious and lewd

Once stood in a queue in the nude,

And a man down in front

Hollered out "I smell cunt" --

Just like that! Right out loud! Fucking rude!



Now everyone loves a butch guy.

That's a fact that we cannot deny.

But between butch & bitch

Is such a small switch --

Just the difference between U & I.



There was once a young lady named Sue,

Who preferred a stiff drink to a screw,

But one leads to the other,

And now she's a mother.

Let that be a lesson to you.

--- Joe Fineman    joe_f@verizon.net

||: Quotation marks & car horns are warning signals that are used by the vulgar to express their emotions. :||