29 Sep 05 - 10:38 PM (#1572599) Subject: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: Gypsy Drat, when she asked me for the rest of the lyrics, just drew a brain fart. My mother sang it, it is often sung at Ren Faire.......t'enny rate, rhyming song, with the obvious vulgarism replaced by a more genteel word in each case. Tune is similar to "shaving creme" For that matter, so is the story! Anyone recall the title, so i can find the lyrics? thanks, all |
29 Sep 05 - 10:50 PM (#1572605) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: Peace What are SOME of the lyrics? |
29 Sep 05 - 10:55 PM (#1572607) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: Seamus Kennedy There once was a sailor who sat on a rock, Shaking his fist, and abusing his... Neighboring farmer who was chopping up sticks, And teaching his children to play with their... Kites and their marbles in the old days of yore, When along came a young lady who looked like a... Decent young woman and walked like a duck, And said she'd discovered a new way to... Bring up her children, to teach them to knit, While cleaning the barnyard and shoveling the... Contents of the pigsty, the barn and the byre, While the dirty old farmer was pulling his... Horse from the stable to get it to hunt, While his wife in her boudoir was shaving her... Legs, singing: Sweet violets, sweeter than the rose, Covered all over from head to toe, Covered all over in sweet violets. Seamus |
30 Sep 05 - 09:56 AM (#1572680) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: John MacKenzie Pulling his horse from the stable to go to the hunt While the lady of the manor was powdering her... Nose from the vanity box, to prevent her from catching a fresh dose of... Gout or lumbago. etc... Giok |
30 Sep 05 - 12:44 PM (#1572803) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: Seamus Kennedy Attaboy, Giok! Let's see how long we can make this thing! Seamus |
30 Sep 05 - 01:16 PM (#1572824) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: John MacKenzie Full version I learned years ago.. There was an old farmer who sat on a rock Teaching his children to play with their... Kites and their marbles, in bold days of yore When along came a maiden who looked like a ... Pretty young maiden with feet like a duck Who said she'd invented a new way to... Educate her children to read and to write While the boys in the farmyard were shovelling some.. Dirt and some rubbish to put on the fire And the dirty old farmer was pulling his... Horse from the stable to go to the hunt And the lady of the manor was powdering her.. Nose from the vanity box To prevent her from catching a fresh dose of.. Gout or lumbago Another one we used to do along the same lines was.. Edinburgh Castle stands upon a rock And if you want to pass it you've got to show your.. Cocktail Ginger Ale, half a pint of water, Stick it up your.. Ask no questions tell no lies, Shut your mouth and you'll catch no flies Ah childhood innocence or what?? Giok ¦¬] |
04 Oct 05 - 10:26 PM (#1576122) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: Gypsy Ah, bless you all! will pass on to friend asapest! |
05 Oct 05 - 02:33 AM (#1576204) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: Tradsinger From Hampshire: There once was a farmer who sat on a rick A ranting and raving and waving his Fist at some people who sat on his walls A-teaching their children to play with their Bowstrings and arrows and weapons of war When along came a lady who looked like a Decent young woman who walked like a duck Who said she'd invented a new way to Educate her children to read and to write While down in the cowshed they were shovelling the Contents of the cowshed from the back to the front While the milkmaid was counting the hairs on her Cows' fronts and cows' backs, that's the end of my song And if you think it's dirty, you're ***** well wrong. I learnt this from schoolfriends in about 1961! Gwilym |
05 Oct 05 - 11:06 AM (#1576483) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: JohnB I always finished it with "what did you think I was going to say? You dirty young bugger thats all for today. JohnB |
06 Feb 07 - 10:25 PM (#1959855) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: GUEST,Beyond There was an old farmer who sat on a rock Teaching his children to play with their.... Toys and their games and all things of yore When along came a lady who looked like a.... Incredible nice young woman she walked like a duck She said she had found out a new way to.... Educate the children to read and to write While the farmer's son he was cleaning out.... Muck from the stable and dung from the byre And the dirty old farmer was pulling his.... Horse from the stable to go on a hunt.... While the farmers wife she lay powdering her Nose in the mirror of her vanity box.... She clearly had just caught a dose of the.... Cold from the milkmaid who was still in bed Renowned in the parish for giving boys.... Milk on the quiet which cost them 3 bits For only one more she would show them her.... Cows in the parlor tied up in chains Singing: Sweet violets, sweeter than the rose, Covered all over from head to toe, Covered all over in sweet violets. |
07 Feb 07 - 06:08 PM (#1960464) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: Sorcha All I did was agree, yes, see the Sweet Violets threads. It was considered nasty and got delted. It was NOT intended to be nasty. |
02 May 08 - 12:56 PM (#2331300) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: GUEST There once was a farmer who sat on a rock Stroking his whiskers and shaking his Fist at his neighbors who sat on their ricks Teaching the children to play with their Kite strings and marbles in the old days of yore Along came a woman who looked like a Decent young lady who walked like a duck She said shed discovered a new way to Bring up the children to sew and to knit Down in the stables they were shoveling Contents of stables left after the hunt The carman was rubbing a nice piece of Straw from the stables and gleaning the walls In came the are maid to play with his Dog from the dairy where she did belong If you think this is dirty well you're fucking well wrong |
20 May 08 - 05:52 AM (#2344982) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: GUEST,Jim There once was a farmer who sat on a rock Tossing and waving his great hairy Hand at the people in the old days of yore When along came a lady who looked like a Descent young lady, she walked like a duck She said she was learning a new way to Educate her children to sew and to knit While the lads in the stable were shovelling the Contents of the stable, the muck and the mire While the filthy old farmer was pulling his Horse from the stable to go on a hunt While lady in waiting was powdering her Face for the occasion of tea on the grass While the big fat policeman was wiping his Forehead, which was sweaty the poor heated chap He said to the green grocer don't give me no Vegetables today man 'cause I won't be here I'm going to see my son who is a Student at university in Niagara Falls He sits there all day man and plays with his Chess set that I sent him when he turned twenty one To stop him from touching the neighbours Sweet violets, sweeter than the roses, Covered all over from head to toe, Covered all over in big piles of... Now what did you think I was going to say? No, you dirty bastards; that's all for today. |
20 May 08 - 07:34 AM (#2345031) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: GUEST,George Henderson There was an old farmer who sat on some ricks Teaching the children to play with their— Toys and their marbles as in days of yore When along came a lady who looked like a— Decent young lady, she walked like a duck, Said she'd invented a new way to— Educate her children to sew and to knit While the lord of the manor was shoveling the— Contents of the stable the muck and the mire And the lads in the cowsheds were pulling his— Horse from the stable to go out and hunt While his wife in her boudoir was powdering her— Nose and arranging her vanity box Taking precautions to ward off the— Gout and rheumatics which shook her to bits And the doctor's pink pills which got on her— Nerves and made her feel such a fool 'Cause well she remembered how she played with his— Instruments and gadgets and asked him to tea Knowing full well he was bursting to— Introduce his family and eat his wife's tarts, Contenting himself with occasional— References to his business his money and his luck And his life's one ambition which was to learn how to— Be a farmer's boy-oy-oy-oy, to be a farmer's boy. |
01 Aug 08 - 03:17 PM (#2403209) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: GUEST There was an old sailor who sat on a rock Waving his fists and abusing his...... Listen to my recording here |
08 Sep 09 - 06:29 AM (#2718707) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: GUEST,Scale There was an old farmer who lived by a rock He sat in the meadow a'shaking his Fist at some boys who were down by the crick Their feet in the water, their hands on their Marbles and playthings as in days of yore There came a young lady, she looked like a Pretty young creature, she sat on the grass She pulled up her dresses and showed us her Ruffles and laces and white puffy duck She said she was learning a new way to Bring up her children and learned them to knit While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling Refuse and litter from yesterday's hunt While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her Eyes at the fellows as girls sometimes do To make it quite clear that she wanted to Go for a nice pleasant stroll in the grass Then hurry back home for a nice piece of Ice-cream and cake at the three-layered stall And after desert she was ready to Go for another walk down by the dock With any young man with a sizable Roll of one-hundreds and a big bulge of rum If he'd ask politely she'd show him her Little fat dog who was subject to fits And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her Small tender hand with a movement so quick Then she'd bend on over and suck on his Soda so sweetly till she'd finished it Then pull down her panties to rub on her Hip that she'd bruised when she'd ran down the hall Cause he tried to force her to lick on his Candy. Then they both made a butter scotch And then he spread whipped-cream all over her Cookies that she had been baking all night If you think this is dirty you're FUCKING-WELL RIGHT! |
02 Aug 10 - 08:13 PM (#2957050) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: GUEST Edinburgh Castle stands upon a rock And if you want to go there, you better show your... Come on, lads and lasses, pie and peas for supper But if you take a lass there, you better know how to... Farmer went to market to buy 2 dozen eggs 22 in his basket and 2 between his... Ladies in the garden picking roses white What's the use of having an arse if you don't know how to... Shine the buttons with Brasso 2 and 6 a tin. You can buy it, or nick it from Woollies if you think they'll have any Independent Television all so clear and bright But if you ask my opinion I think it's a load of Sugar in the pantry all in little bits * friends name* uses it for rubbing on her tits |
03 Aug 10 - 05:45 PM (#2957572) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: Steve Gardham Do all of these go to the same tune I wonder. Mine goes to the first strain of I think 'La Varsovienne'. If anyone was going to study and compare the versions it would be helpful to them if we gave dates and places to the versions. The following version is from Hull, UK and is 50s. There was an old farmer who sat on a rick, Ranting and raving and waving his -- Arms to the people who sat on the walls Teaching their children to play with their -- Bow strings and kite strings as in days of yore When along came a lady who looked like a -- Decent young lady who walked like a duck Who said she's invented a new way to -- Educate children to read and to write While their parents in the back yard were shovelling -- Refuse from the back garden round to the front While the maids in the tavern plucked hairs from their -- Pullovers and jumpers............................. Unfortunately I can't remember how the ******** ended. I'm certain it wasn't 'Sweet Violets' or 'Farmer's Boy' I seem to remember it was the old chestnut, 'If you want any more you can sing it yourself' |
03 Aug 10 - 07:34 PM (#2957633) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: maple_leaf_boy Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: GUEST Date: 02 May 08 - 12:56 PM There once was a farmer who sat on a rock Stroking his whiskers and shaking his Fist at his neighbors who sat on their ricks Teaching the children to play with their Kite-strings and marbles in the old days of yore Along came a woman who looked like a Decent young lady who walked like a duck She said she'd discovered a new way to Bring up the children to sew and to knit Down in the stables they were shoveling Contents of stables left after the hunt The car man was rubbing a nice piece of Straw from the stables and cleaning the walls In came the are maid to play with his Dog from the dairy where she did belong If you think this is dirty well you're fucking well wrong End Quote That's the version Bob Saget sings. |
17 Jan 11 - 12:14 AM (#3076141) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock..... From: GUEST,XOAnimeLoverOX There was an old farmer who lived on a rock He sat in the meadow just shaking his Fist at some boys who were down by the crick* Their feet in the water, their hands on their Marbles and playthings, and at half past four There came a young lady, she looked like a Pretty young creature, she sat on the grass She pulled up her dress and she showed them her Ruffles and laces and white fluffy duck She said she was learning a new way to Bring up her children so they would not spit While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling Refuse and litter from yesterday's hunt While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her Eyes at the fellow down by the dock He looked like a man with a sizeable Home in the country with a big fence out front If he asked her politely, she'd show him her Little pet dog who was subject to fits And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her Small tender hands with a movement so quick And then she'd bend over and suck on his Candy so tasty, made of butterscotch and then he'd spread whipped cream all over her Cookies that she had left out on her shelf If you think this is dirty, you can go fuck yourself! |
17 Apr 11 - 01:32 PM (#3136906) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock... From: GUEST There was an old sailor who sat on a rock, Waving and shaking his big hairy Fist at the ladies next door in the Ritz Teaching the young boys to play with their Ice-cream and marbles and all things galore Along comes a lady who looks like a Decent young woman who walks like a duck Who said she's invented a new way to Bring up the children to sew and to knit The kids in the stables are shoveling Susan was a nice girl with plenty of class Who turned the boys heads when she wiggled her Eyes at the young boys like girls sometimes do To make it quite plain she was ready to Go for a walk or a stroll on the dock With any young man with a sizeable Roll of big bills or a pretty good front And if he talked nicely she'd show him her Little white dog that was subject to fits And then she'd let him grab a hold of her Little white hand with a movement so quick And then she'd lean over and tickle his What did you think I was going to say? You dirty bugger! That's all for today. |
21 Jun 11 - 07:45 AM (#3173798) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock... From: threelegsoman Similar to some of the above, but ending: The squire of the manor was pulling his Horse from the stable to go on a hunt His wife in her boudoir was powdering her Nose and arranging her vanity box Taking precautions to ward off the Gout and rheumatics that made her so stiff She said she was avoiding another dose of What did you think I was going to say? NO you rude buggers that's all for today. |
03 Jul 11 - 04:07 AM (#3180553) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock... From: GUEST,Alva This version my father learned in North London in the 1940s, There was once a farmer who sat on a rock, Stroking his wihiskers and shaking his ... Fist at the neighbours who were picking up sticks, And teaching their children to play with their ... Kite strings and marbles as in days of Yore, When along came a lady who looked like a ... Decent young lady with legs like a duck, Who said she was learning a new way to ... Bring up her children and teach them to knit, Whilst out in the stables they were shovelling up ... What was left over from yesterday's hunt, While the gardener was having a nice piece of ... Celery in the garden where he doth belong, And if you think this song dirty you're jolly well wrong. to this tune: 3/4 g ||: ceg | ceg | efe | d-(g) | beg | beg | ded :|| |
28 Aug 11 - 10:50 PM (#3214292) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock... From: GUEST,Stephen. What is the name for this musical tradition? Thanks, Stephen. |
28 Aug 11 - 11:47 PM (#3214307) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock... From: PHJim I'm sure there was more, but I haven't heard it since grade 5 or 6: Country boy, country boy, sittin' on a rock Along came a bee and stung him on the Cocktails, ginger ale five cents a glass If you don't like it you can shove it up your Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies If you get hit with a bucket of shit Be sure and close your eyes. |
06 Mar 12 - 02:16 PM (#3318312) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock... From: GUEST thers was one a sailor who sat on a rock shacking and waving his big hairy cock |
29 Oct 12 - 03:23 PM (#3427886) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock... From: GUEST The song seems to have made the round in england and the US in the early 1900s. There was a recording in the late 1930s/early 40s of a song titled "My Girls Monkey". I can't recall the artist but it was very similar in what you'd hear in a Benny Bell production. Here's the lyrics as best as I can remember them: There was an old man he lived by the cricks He used to watch small boys play with their Marbles and toys in the good days of yore There came young lady who looked like A decent young lady, she lay in the grass And when she turned over you could see her bare (musical interlude) The was a young lady she looked like a duck She said she was learning a new way to Bring up her children and teach them to knit The boy in the bathroom was taking a Vacuum cleaner to clean up the halls He tripped on the the bath mat and cut of his (Musical interlude) {There's a line here I can't remember} {And another} Was an old woman while striking a match It fell in her lap and burned up her Honest and truly this scene touched mny heart The whole damned affair sorta smelled like a (musical interlude) We went in the circus we went in the flock We saw the ring master do tricks with his Girl on the trapeze while doing her stunt She fell on the crossbar and riblappened her Tights were so fancy, her ruffles were blue The monkeys went frantic and stated to (musical interlude/end) |
28 May 20 - 09:41 AM (#4055628) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock... From: and e Watching the little boy play with his   Marbles and cronies in the springtime of yore, When his little companion was a great big fat   Decent young lady, who sat on the grass And when she rolled over, showed the shape of her   Shoes and her stockings, which fitted her like a duck She said she was learning a new way to   Bring up her children and teach them to knit While the boy in the pasture was taking a   Pretty little girlie down to the crick Where he said he would show her the length of his   Rowbot, which was anchored down by the falls, On the way down he slipped and he injured his   Finger and he cursed like a Jew. He wished he had a gun with which he could hunt And started out on the trail of a   Rabbit, which bounded away over the sod, You may think this is bull-shit, but it isn't, by God. From pg 139 of the Canfield Collection. See here: https://archive.org/details/1926canfieldcollection/page/n139/mode/2up Dated ca 1926, this important collection of American bawdy songs is comparable to the Gordon 'Inferno' Collection at the Library of Congress. |
28 May 20 - 09:51 AM (#4055631) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock... From: Steve Gardham Sorry, Stephen, if you're still around...they are generally known as 'teasing songs'. They go back at least to the 18th century, probably much further. This particular one I doubt goes back much beyond 1900. |
13 May 21 - 09:18 PM (#4105967) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock... From: RunrigFan Wicked Tinkers version There was an old farmer who lived by a rock, He sat in the meadow a waving his fists at some boys who were down by the creek Their feet in the water, their hands on their marbles and playthings and in days of yore there came a young lady who looked like a lovely young maiden, she sat on the grass she lifted her skirts and showed us her ruffles and laces and a neat little tuck she told us she was learning a new way to raise up her children and teach them to knit while the boys in the barnyard were shoveling straw from the stables and they worked day and night If you think this is vulgar then bless you your right |