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Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)

12 Oct 05 - 03:33 PM (#1581630)
Subject: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: John M.

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Does anyone here know the joke/cante fable like that below? If yes, when was the earliest you remember hearing it? What tune did you use for the song? Are the words to the song different?

Any help is appreciated.

Sincerely,

John Mehlberg
~
My website: www.immortalia.com

SINGING TELEGRAM CANTE FABLE

Mrs. Murphy. Mrs. Murphy. Telegram for Mrs. Murphy.

       Is this a singing telegram?

Well, ma'am. It's rather sad news.

      I've always wanted a singing telegram.

Well here goes....
dada, dada, da ,da

Your sister Rose is dead.
I'm here to tell you that she died in bed,
And even though the broad was feelin' great,
She'd just turned ninety-eight,
Your sister Rose is dead!

12 Oct 05 - 04:52 PM (#1581685)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: frogprince

No idea of the origen of the thing, but before I heard "Sister Rose" I had heard an even grimmer version, in two slight variations:
   
       dada, dada, da, da,
       Your Sonnnn is Deeeaad...

and, to "Camptown Races":

      Your son was killed in Vietnam,
      Doo da, Doo da,...

12 Oct 05 - 05:32 PM (#1581726)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: John M.

frogprince, when is the earliest you remember hearing "Sister Rose" ?   Would you be willing to sing it over the phone to me for folklore purposes?

Any help is appreciated.

Sincerely,

John Mehlberg
~
Afternoons:   314.647.3883
Evenings:    314.381.0492

13 Oct 05 - 10:33 AM (#1582269)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Suffet

John,

I first heard that joke around 1965. It only had a one line punchline, "Your sister Rose is dead," and the tune was Hooray for Hollywood!

--- Steve

26 Apr 10 - 05:43 PM (#2894841)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST,Carrie

Well this is how my friends say it:

Mrs. Murphy. Telegram......

Oh I have always wanted a telegram!! Is it a signing telegram?

Um it's actually sad ne-

I've always wanted a singing telegram!!

Here goes......

Dada dada da

(Say it in a sad voice)

Your sister rose is dead
I'm here to tell you that she died in bed
And even though the broad was feeling great
She just turned nintey-eight,
Your sister rose is dead!!!

02 Mar 11 - 07:44 AM (#3105537)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST,Trevor

The one I grew up with was:

Your sister rosie is dead, we fucked her in the head, the penetration was so great and she died!

06 Jun 11 - 06:13 PM (#3166194)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST,Tim Peierls

I was challenged to come up with a full song on the basis of the lines "Your sister Rose is dead. / She's buried out behind the bed."

I came up with this.

--tim

23 Feb 13 - 10:56 AM (#3482885)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST,Tom

Your sister Rose is dead
She got kicked in the head
By a horse

23 Feb 13 - 02:04 PM (#3482947)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Lighter

I can't tell you when I heard it. '80s? Anyway, the tune wasn't "Hoory for Hollywood," it was the one I associate with the French can-can. It must have a name.

23 Feb 13 - 04:09 PM (#3483000)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Lighter

Come to think of it, when I heard it I believe the telegram contained only the first line.

And for some reason I think it may have been on "The Carol Burnett Show." If true, that would probably push it back into the '70s.

05 Jun 13 - 10:01 AM (#3523026)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST

The joke was made-up in 1959 or 1960 by a boy in Jacksonville, Illinois, and was soon spread in Quincy, Illinois. The young man has made up jokes all of his life. He is responsible for dozens of legendary jokes.

05 Jun 13 - 10:46 AM (#3523038)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: John on the Sunset Coast

I don't know when this joke was made up, but I first heard it when I was in high school, and I graduated in 19 and 57. When we used to tell/sing this joke Rose was Sue and the line was a bit sorter (ten words...it is a telegram after all).

Knock on the door...woman opens.
Man in cap and uniform says, "Telegram for Mary Smith".
She gushes, "Oh goody, a singing telegram!"
"No lady, this is just a regular telegram. I hand it to you and you give me a tip."
"Oh, please sing it to me. I've never had a singing telegram."
"Lady, you don't understand. This ain't no singing telegram."
"Please, please sing it."
Exasperated, "O.K., Lady." Tears open the envelope and unfolds the page,and sings, "Da da da da da da 'sister sue is dead you know she died in bed'"

29 Aug 13 - 01:18 AM (#3553991)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST,Mike in Santa Monica, CA

BEATRICE LILLIE used to tell this joke during her show, "An Evening with Beatrice Lillie" --in the early fifties. It is very representative of her special brand of absurdity.

THERE ARE NO ADDITIONAL LYRICS because there is no song. That's the joke: it's NOT a singing telegram, it's a single, brief and very grim sentence, that he sings anyway.

If additional lyrics have evolved in the past sixty years, I suspect it is the work of children--it sounds like jumprope rhyme--and that it has nothing to do with the joke--besides riffing on its punchline.

13 Sep 13 - 10:56 AM (#3558641)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST,Brian

Yes, I first heard it when Beatrice Lillie told it on a talk show in the 1960's. It was just the one line that was sung, dadadadadada, your sister Rose is dead.

28 May 14 - 06:56 PM (#3628796)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST,Jim Wright

I heard it was from early vaudeville star Fannie Brice
The telegram was just one line:
Da da ta da Your Sister Died today.

29 May 14 - 06:35 PM (#3629004)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST,#

http://themindsetlist.com/2012/08/the-honor-roll-of-what-america-has-almost-totally-forgotten/

21 Jul 15 - 03:01 AM (#3725146)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST

First heard Bea Lillie tell it on early 60s TV. And she tap-danced.

21 Jul 15 - 11:49 AM (#3725243)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Mrrzy

Tarara boum-de-ay? Is that the one "that must have a name?"

21 Jul 15 - 02:19 PM (#3725270)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Cool Beans

I heard it to the tune of "Milord."

20 Aug 15 - 12:46 PM (#3731840)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST,Joe

I heard this joke from my Aunt when I was a kid, never knew what the tune was taken from but I just looked up "Milord" and that's definitely it. This would have been somewhere around 1986, and the punchline was longer:

"Your sister Rose is dead,
your mother father and your Uncle Fred.
She had a heart attack,
and now she'll never come back..."

And it always kind of trailed off at the end. I came upon this forum actually because I was wondering if there was an end to it, about how everyone else died. But this is how the joke was always told in my family who were all from The Bronx NY.

20 Aug 15 - 12:50 PM (#3731842)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST,Joe

Oh also, my family is Irish, my great grandparents were from Ireland, and the joke seems sort of like Irish humor. It seems likely that could be the origin especially since many remember it starting with "Mrs. Murphy."

20 Aug 15 - 04:16 PM (#3731889)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Lighter

The can-can tune (if that's what it is) I had in mind was definitely not "Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom-Di-Ay," which isn't French anyway.

I believe the tune is the one often heard - at least as I recall - in Pepe LePew cartoons.

Each note rises higher.

20 Aug 15 - 04:32 PM (#3731896)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Lighter

The joke was elaborated into an entire song by American pilots during the Vietnam War.

Those not offended by black, black humor can find several versions by searching for "Your son is dead,/ He bought the farm today."

I think I knew the tune at one time, but can't recall it now. This one could well have been "Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom-De-Ay."

21 Aug 15 - 09:04 AM (#3732073)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST,Ebor Fiddler

The usual cancan tune is "The Can Can" from Offenbach's "Orpheus in The Underworld",or as my Grandad used to call it, "Orpheus in His Underwear".

21 Aug 15 - 09:32 AM (#3732081)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Lighter

Absolutely. And that wasn't it.

The tune I'm thinking of goes:

CDEFGA, with a lengthened F and A. Then the line is repeated. There's more, but the words of the joke didn't go that far.

What's that tune called?

01 Jan 17 - 10:47 PM (#3829920)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST

I heard this as a child, the lyrics I remember though were: da da, da da da da, your sister rose is dead, she died in bed last night, she had a heart attack, she's never coming back, they put her in the ground, she's never coming 'round, da da, da da da da.

05 Apr 17 - 08:06 PM (#3848941)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST,limapapa

Flying army helicopters in Korea in 74 and 75 (after tours in Vietnam 5 years earlier) we had a spinoff on this theme using Army Aviation metaphors and sung to a vaudeville tune I cant remember the name of:

Your... son... is..(pause) dead they say, he bought the farm today
he shouldnt fly when skies are cloudy and gray.
He pulled his thirty eight, he couldn't shoot it straight, so now he gets his pay at the pearly pearly gates.

While... fly...ing..(pause) IFR, on his horizon bar, he started climbing, spinning, falling much too far.
On his recovery, to his discovery, he came in contact with a...
great big fucking tree. Hey!

06 Apr 17 - 04:16 PM (#3849128)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Helen

Video search:

Your sister Rose is dead

This version is definitely the Milord tune

Vietnam version

Edith Piaf - Milord

BTW, I've never heard this joke in Oz.

Helen

08 Apr 17 - 04:06 PM (#3849516)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Helen

refresh

16 Jun 20 - 12:39 AM (#4059441)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST,IndigoHawk

This is the version I know....


Your sister Rose is dead
Your sister Rose is dead
After she got shot in the head.
A sound she did not utter
As she fell into the gutter.
She didn’t even get to die in bed.
No use crying
She’s gone away.
No use sighing.
The funeral’s coming Saturday.
Your sister Rose is dead
Your sister Rose is dead.
Your sister Rose ain’t comin’’ back no more

02 Jun 23 - 04:09 PM (#4173683)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST,AH

Welcome Back Kotter into joke

26 Oct 23 - 09:51 AM (#4184551)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST

I heard it a bit differently and can't exactly remember when but sometime in the late 60s. It went. "Your sister Rose is dead. The car rolled over and it crushed the dog. Your Uncle Fred, he died in bed. You're all alone, you'll have to fend for yourself."

26 Oct 23 - 09:51 AM (#4191344)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: GUEST

I heard it a bit differently and can't exactly remember when but sometime in the late 60s. It went. "Your sister Rose is dead. The car rolled over and it crushed the dog. Your Uncle Fred, he died in bed. You're all alone, you'll have to fend for yourself."

02 Mar 24 - 09:32 PM (#4198417)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Jack Horntip

Dear Mom Your Son Is Dead [aka The FAC (forward air command) Song]
[Tune - Milord]

Mrs. Murphy. Mrs. Murphy. Telegram for Mrs. Murphy.

Is this a singing telegram?

Well, ma'am. It's rather sad news.

I've always wanted a singing telegram.

Well here goes....

Dear Mom, your son is dead.
He bought the farm today
He crashed his OV-10 on Ho Chi Minh's highway
It was a rocket pass, and then he busted his ass.
Mmm, mmm, mmm.

He went across the fence to see what he could see,
There it was a plain as it could be
It was a truck on the road,
With a big heavy load.
Mmm, mmm, mmm.

He got right on the horn, and gave The Dasc' a call,
"Send me air I've got a truck that's stalled"
The Dasc' said "That's all right,
I'll send you Pirate flight
For I am the POWER."

The fighters checked right in, gunfighters two by two,
Low on gas, and tankers over due.
They asked that FAC to mark,
Just where that truck was parked.
Mmm, Mmm, mmm.

The FAC he rolled right in, with his smoke to mark,
Exactly where that fucking truck was parked.
The rest is still in doubt,
because he never pulled out.
Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Dear Mom your SON is dead
He bought the farm today
He crashed his OV-10 on Ho Chi Mihn's highway
It was a rocket pass, and then he busted his ass
Mmm, mmm, mmm.


HIM, HIM, FUCK HIM!
How did he go?...straight in
What was he doin'?...169
Indicated? .....Yeah.


This is transcribed from the CD A Night at the Bar with the Boys by a trio of Warthog pilots. It was recorded in Scotland in 1989 and originally issued on cassette.   The tune is "Milord". The song shows up in numerous Air Force fighter pilot songs books from Vietnam and after.

02 Mar 24 - 09:42 PM (#4198419)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Jack Horntip

Your son was killed in Vietnam,
do dah, do dah,
Your son was killed in Vietnam, all the do da day.
Shot him through the head.
Shot him through the head.
Your son was killed in Vietnam, all the do dah day.


From autobiography I Served by Don C. Hall & Annette R. Hall. 2001. pg 273.

The setting is the NCO club.

Google books here: https://books.google.com/books?id=kRxfrchUBncC&pg=PA273&lpg=PA273&dq=%22was+killed+in+vietnam%22+%22do+dah%22&source=bl&ots=33d3cIleDn&sig=ACfU3U1P_fdXvTUqxg99Zf3ATIBW6fq4IA&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi1qs7ahNeEAxVTKlkFHc9ZDSYQ6AF6BAgJEAM#v=onepage&q=%22was%20killed%20in%20vietnam%22%20%22do%20dah%22&f=false

02 Mar 24 - 10:30 PM (#4198420)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Jack Horntip

This guy delivers a telegram to an old lady.
“Could you make it a singing telegram for me. I love
singing telegrams .. .” “Lady,” he says. “Puh-leez ...”
she begs. “I do so love singing telegrams .. .” -
“Okay, you asked for it—da, da, da,
YOUR SON IS DEAD,
OH HOW HE BLED..

From the 1978 book Teen Angel by Sonia Pilcer.

See online here:

https://archive.org/details/teenangel0000pilc/page/96/mode/2up?q=singing

02 Mar 24 - 10:57 PM (#4198422)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Jack Horntip

DEAR MOM
Melody--Itself

Dear Mom, your son is dead, he bought the farm today,
He crashed his OV-10 on the Ho Chi Minh highway.
He made a rocket pass, and then he busted his ass,
Hmm, hmm, hmmmmm.

He flew across the fence to see what he could see,
And there it was, as plain as it could be.
There was a truck on the road, with a big heavy load.
Hmm, hmm, hmmmmm.

He got right on the horn, and gave the DASC a call,
"Send me air, I ve got a truck that s stalled."
The DASC said, "That s all right, I ll send the Stinger Flight,
For I AM THE POWER!"

Those Hornets checked right in, gunfighters two by two,
Low on gas and tanker overdue.
They asked the FAC to mark, just where the truck was parked,
Hmm, hmm, hmmmmm.

That Bronco rolled right in , with his smoke to mark,
EXACTLY where that truck was parked.
But now the rest is in doubt, cause he never pulled out,
Hmm, hmm, hmmmmm.

(With reverence): Dear Mom, your son is dead, he bought the farm today,
He crashed his OV-10 on the Ho Chi Minh Highway.
He made a rocket pass, then he busted his ass,
Hmm, hmm,
FUCK HIM!

(Sung to "Camptown Races"): Motherfucker s dead, motherfucker s dead,
Son s comin home in a body bag,
Oh, doo dah day!

(Spoken): How did he go? STRAIGHT IN!
What was he doing? THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-ONE!
Hell of a deal. WHOOEE!

Cocksucker, motherfucker, eat a bag of shit,
Cunt hair, douche bag, bite your mother s tit.
We re the best fighter squadron, all the others suck.
Bronco FAC, Bronco FAC, rah, rah, FUCK!


Note: "FAC" = forward air controller; "DASC" = direct air support
coordinator; "Stinger Flight," "Hornets" = aircraft and crews of the 43rd Tactical Fighter Squadron.

Contributed the Ed Cray's unpublished Erotic Muse. 3rd ed. by Paul "Flying Booger" Woodford

https://archive.org/details/ed-cray-collection-aka-erotic-muses-iii/page/352/mode/2up?q=dear+mom

Lacks the "singing telegram" introduction by has the camptown races addition.

03 Mar 24 - 09:35 AM (#4198447)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Jack Horntip

THE SINGING TELEGRAM

Your son got killed today
He bought the farm Ha Ha.
He flew his F-4B right into Subic Bay
While flying high and far
On his horizon bar
He went down spinning, turning descending, way to fast.
Upon recovery, quite accidentally
He had a rendevous wiht a Friendly Sparrow III
(pause) . . . . . . FLY NAVY

Dedicated to the USS RANGER

From The Crusader Hymnal. 1967. Pg 11.

See online here: https://archive.org/details/1967thecrusaderhymnal/page/12/mode/1up

03 Mar 24 - 10:11 AM (#4198450)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Jack Horntip

PHU BAI G C A

This is the true story of an episode in the life of a young spud pilot.

"Miss Smith was born in 1912 and she lost her father in the first world
war... Her mother managed to keep the family together and Miss Smith got
married in 1939 and became Mrs. Jones. Mr Jones became Sergeant Jones and went
to war and in two years Mrs Jones got a telegram telling her that she was now
the idow Jones... Well the widow Jones struggled and kept her family and when
her son Johnny grew up he joined the army and went into army aviation...
He went to viet name and became a spud. Every day the widow Jones went to
the mailbox and pulled out a letter from Johnny... Then one day the letter didn't
come... The next day there was a knock at the door 'Knock, Knock' the widow
went to the door and there stood a man in uniform... "Oh wonderful" the widow
Jones did say "You must be the new postman with a letter from my son". "No
Madam, this is a rather special telegram" the man in uniform said. "Oh, I
know its a singing telegram, a singing telegram from my son." "Well, ma'am
it's not exactly a singing telegram" the man in uniform said, "Oh yes, I
just know that its a singing telegram---Please Mr Telegram Man sing me my
telegram..."

And this is what the man in uniform sang:

Your son is dead, they say--he bought the farm today,
He got below glisdeslope on the Phu Bai G C A
And now he's on the ground, He's sort of spread around
What....More...Can....I ...Say....

(CHORUS)
Your...sons comin home in a body bag, doo dah, doo dah
Your sons coming home in a body bag, doo dah, doo dah day
Shot through the head---That Motherfuckers dead
Your songs coming home in a body bag, oh doo dah day

And the grieving widow said "How did my son go?"

STRAIGHT DOWN !

"Well, what was my son doing?"

300 KNOTS!

(CHORUS)
Will I've got a job in the one thirty first, do dah, doo dah,
I'm taking bets on who'll die first, oh, doo dah day
Will it be IR? No, perhaps its SLAR,
Your sons coming home in a body bag, all the doo dah day

Don't wrap 'em, bag 'em!!   IN BAGGIES!!!


From The Spud Hymnal. 1970. 1st ed. pg 6.

See online here: https://archive.org/details/1971spudhymnal-1stedition/page/6/mode/1up

03 Mar 24 - 11:00 AM (#4198454)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Jack Horntip

your son's been killed in vietnam, doo-dah, doo-dah

your son's been killed in vietnam, doo-dah, doo-dah your son's been killed in
vietnam, oh, the doo-dah day the mother fuckers dead, they shot him in the head;
your son's been killed in vietnam, oh the doo-dah day.

chorus

oh, gwine to fight all night, gwine to fight all day gwine ta send him home in a
body bag, oh the doo-dah day
hit him in the chest with an rpg--
he ain't got but an arm and a leg--
send him home in a body bag---

repeat first verse


----------------------------------------

the impact of mates getting killed never lessens, you just close of that part of
yourself with 'hard-core' songs like the above.
a rpg is a b-40 rocket propelled grenade, Chinese or Russian.
many versions-this is a compilation from 161 recce flight songbook, a respondent
from the snowy mts, and les cleveland, of wellington,
nz and a wwii vet and collector.


From the the telegram.txt file, in the folder "vietnam war songs 1" in the Sam Hilt digital collection. Sam Hilt was an American who served with the 173rd Airborne Brigade in Vietnam, immigrated to Australia after the war and became a citizen of that country.

03 Mar 24 - 11:20 AM (#4198455)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Jack Horntip

A man knocked on my door last night
said he had a telegram for me.
I said I'd never received a singing telegram
and I told him to sing it.

He said, "I don't think I should," he said

And I said, "Sing it!"

He said, "Well if you insist."

[Stomping foot twice] "Your sister rose is dead."


As transcribed from the video of John Wayne on Don Rickles and John Wayne (1975 TV Special) on youtube here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-AlVDghSio&t=410s

03 Mar 24 - 02:20 PM (#4198462)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Jack Horntip

Here's a joke for you:

A telegram man goes to the door
and he rings the doorbell
and this little old lady comes to the door.
Ninety-one year old lady comes to the door.
And he says, "I have a telegram for you ma'am."

And she says, "Is it a singing telegram?"

No, it's just a regular telegram?

Oh, could you sing it to me please. I've never had a singing telegram.
I'm 91 years old. I may never have another chance to have a singing telegram.
Could you sing it to me?

Well it's not really not the kind of message to sing.

Oh, please.

I don't sing very well.

Oh, please.

Well he gave in... and with his best try:

[Stomp foot once]
Da, da, da, ta da ta.
Your sister Rose is dead.


Transcribed from a youtube video by Parmesana posted June 9, 2011.

See video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Id5AC_otFIg

03 Mar 24 - 03:16 PM (#4198465)
Subject: RE: Origins: Singing Telegram Cante Fable (Joke)
From: Jack Horntip

An old lady, unused to receiving telegrams, was put into a pleasurable
tizzy when the Western Union operator called to say there was a wire for her.
"Is it one of those singing telegrams?" asked the old lady. "No, ma'am,"
said the operator. "It's just a message to be read to you." "But I've always
wanted a singing telegram," protested the old lady. "Now, you just sing that
wire to me or I'll report you to the supervisor."
"Okay," said the operator, with a note of resignation in her voice.
"You asked for it. Here goes:
Da-Da De Dum Dum-Dum:
[and to the tune of "Happy Birthday"]
'Your sister Rose is dead'..."

Brackets & indicated tune in the original

From Bennett Cerf's The sound of laughter. 1970. Pg 290.

See online here: https://archive.org/details/bennettcerfssoun00cerf/page/290/mode/2up?q=%22singing+telegram%22+%22rose+is+dead%22