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13 Nov 05 - 12:49 PM (#1603821) Subject: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: wysiwyg I suppose a PG-13 filter might be in order for this thread... My son, now ex-military, says that while he was in the service a few years ago, two lists circulated among the enlisted men and women that consisted of one-item contributions from all over the world, land and sea. You know-- each recipeint would add an item and pass it along; I envision the resulting list (he has it on his PDA) being very like some of our Mudcat threads. He warned us that most of the lists' items are VERY non-PC, but we are waiting for him to send both lists to us via email. But I thought, why not get a start? The first list's topic was, Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It. His example was that great Seuss couldda-been, One Bitch Two Bitch. The text begins something like this: One bitch, Two bitch, Fat bitch, You bitch! Support our troops-- add your contribution and we'll see if we can blast it out to our service men and women. ~Susan |
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13 Nov 05 - 12:52 PM (#1603825) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: Stilly River Sage Wow. Now that's a project I want to spend a lot of time on [not]. What is the point? SRS |
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13 Nov 05 - 01:08 PM (#1603835) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: Rapparee The 365 Days and a Wakeup of Bartholemew Cubbins |
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13 Nov 05 - 01:10 PM (#1603840) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: Amos Bartholomew Cubbins and the 211 Condoms Horton Buys a Vibrator Tot Smokes Pot Bug On Drugs Scrambled Brains and Grass The Ma in the Bra ... I think this may end up being a long thread. A |
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13 Nov 05 - 01:18 PM (#1603846) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: Rapparee Green MREs and Spam. |
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13 Nov 05 - 02:02 PM (#1603870) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: wysiwyg Awww, ain'tchoo guys going to compose the opening text?!? Those are pretty good-- go for it! ~S~ |
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13 Nov 05 - 02:14 PM (#1603881) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: wysiwyg OK, then I'll do it myself! You can eat it on the run; You can chop it with your gun. You can serve it by itself, Or with Spam if nothing else. I recommend Green MREs with Spam, And here's a serving, Sam I Am. ....You'd serve Soylent to Sam I am? I will not eat Green MREs and Spam! ~S~ |
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13 Nov 05 - 02:43 PM (#1603903) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: Amos Miss Hortense the Elephant said to her mater "Now Horton there's something I have to relate! You're old and you're fat! Yes you are! That is that! And I'm tired of you snoring, and making me wait!" Now Horton was kindly, and listened quite well, Though much saddened by what his dear wife had to tell. So he pondered and thought, and then pondered some more! The he hollered, "Eureka!" and let out a roar! And he ran down the road toward the Vibrator Store!! When he got there, my golly, what greeted his eyes? There were vibrators EVERYWHERE, of every size! There were tiny small green ones, that were just right for bugs! There were some ran on C-cells, and some that had plugs! And some just for people who had to have more! The wondrous collection at the Vibrator Store! There were some shaped like dildos, and some colored green, And some made of latex, almost real, it would seem! There were handhelds and king-size, both wide, short and long, And one that was ordered in just for King Kong! There were colors, and sizes, and textures galore! In the wondrous collection, at the Vibrator Store. (Subsequent developments are left as an exercise for the learner...) |
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13 Nov 05 - 02:53 PM (#1603913) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: Sorcha Drift again..have you seen the computer one? Put the pocket in the socket...etc? |
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13 Nov 05 - 10:17 PM (#1604228) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: Charley Noble Amos- What are you on? Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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13 Nov 05 - 11:12 PM (#1604266) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: Amos Just a roll, Charlie, just a roll. A |
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14 Nov 05 - 12:44 AM (#1604297) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: NH Dave You mean this one? Dave If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report. If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash! If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang! When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mum!" |
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14 Nov 05 - 01:30 AM (#1604317) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: Thomas the Rhymer Five thousand fingers each on it's own spree All fashioning zingers in hopes we'll agree Some walking the walk of their talking the talk Some caulking the stalk with some talking they mock... And so, Bingley Thorpston, what did they do next? While you ate your portion, all out of context? Did they stammer of weapons, with delited disdain While teaching hard lessons, in vapor trail rains. And after that, then some, incorrigable fiends Lassooing petrolium, tortillas and beans It's the thrill of the chaste, inside acres of steel Who chew through the taste and find nothing to feel. And flowers unfettered, grew faster than fear But the caustic unlettered, were louder that year And, sounding much bigger were much righter than right So much so we figure, that day became night. So here Bingley, there Bingley, pull up a chair Bingley For what do you care Bingley, put down the snare Bingley Its all up to you, for the things that you do Are best when their true... and are beautiful too! It cannot be easy, you mustn't be late The causeway is breezy, you don't have a date But make a good effort, smile, give it your best Eschew some more comfort, dare to be blessed. ;^) ttr |
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14 Nov 05 - 12:38 PM (#1604718) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: Little Hawk "Horton Humps a Who" |
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14 Nov 05 - 12:39 PM (#1604719) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: wysiwyg Snerk! A winner! Write a bit of it LH....! ~S~ |
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15 Nov 05 - 06:41 AM (#1605363) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: GUEST,Dr Seuss Dedicated to Amos Jessup Dr. Seuss on Aging I cannot see I cannot pee I cannot chew I cannot screw Oh, my God, what can I do? My memory shrinks My hearing stinks No sense of smell I look like hell My mood is bad - can you tell? My body's drooping Have trouble pooping The Golden Years have come at last The Golden Years can kiss my ass |
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15 Nov 05 - 09:54 AM (#1605452) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: wysiwyg These are great parodies, but the point isn't just parodies- it's a bit sicker in the humor department than that. Titles and text that could not have been allowed. ~S~ |
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15 Nov 05 - 06:09 PM (#1605881) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: Little Hawk I...I just can't bring myself to spend time imitating Dr Seuss's style, Susan. I never even read that stuff when I was a kid. PM Amos. He'll do it, I'm sure. |
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15 Nov 05 - 07:34 PM (#1605940) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: Amos ALready did one title. I await collaborative contributions. A |
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16 Nov 05 - 05:45 PM (#1606758) Subject: RE: BS: Dr. Seuss Books That Never Made It From: Donuel I've illustrated a number of ribald parodies of Seuss like Horton Hires a Ho...and One fish two fish red fish rude fish, but here is one I did that is entirely original http://www.angelfire.com/md2/customviolins/tude.jpg |
