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19 Nov 05 - 08:54 AM (#1608856) Subject: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: John MacKenzie How come you never thought of this? Or is it you in disguise?? Giok |
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19 Nov 05 - 09:25 AM (#1608877) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Dead Horse Looks like a bit of shag pile to me, mate! And I see the location is listed as Rugburn. Very apt. |
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19 Nov 05 - 09:53 AM (#1608890) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Rapparee I had one of those once, but got caught out in the rain and it kinda got outa hand. (My brother took the picture and now I can't find myself.) |
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19 Nov 05 - 11:12 AM (#1608927) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: MBSLynne ROFLMAO!!!! |
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19 Nov 05 - 12:20 PM (#1608954) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Cllr i cant find my camoflage net... |
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19 Nov 05 - 12:56 PM (#1608959) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: GUEST, Topsie An escaped Hastings bogey? |
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19 Nov 05 - 01:28 PM (#1608966) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: C-flat Great! That's the Christmas-gift-dilemma solved! |
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19 Nov 05 - 01:29 PM (#1608967) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Don Firth PTUI!! Don Firth |
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19 Nov 05 - 03:28 PM (#1609048) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Rapparee What an amazing business opportunity! Chia merkins! |
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19 Nov 05 - 04:04 PM (#1609062) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: John MacKenzie The only person with an IQ of 160 and green pubic hair was Bamber Grassgroin! Giok |
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19 Nov 05 - 04:14 PM (#1609070) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace Merkin. Jimmy, think of the possibilities for song rhymes: gerkin, dirk in, perkin', jerkin' (forget that one), workin'--OK, so it'll be a brief (heehee) song. Maybe a poem or a short ode. Where's Beardedbruce or Thomas the Rhymer? Guys, we need a poet! |
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19 Nov 05 - 04:54 PM (#1609091) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: freda underhill I wandered lonely, drunk and proud all floating by on valium pills when all at once i thought out loud and told the priest he made me ill he had a mangy tartan merkin with horror stories in it lurkin' incontinent as his startled mind that pickled up my silly stays he retched in never-ending whine inciting me to drink and pay ten thousand downed I at a glance tossing the glasses at his pants he buckled over, screamed hooray i tipped the oily knave in ghee he went out stalking oft in May and offered me a cup of tea my eyes were glazed, my mind distraught for brother Ken was such a sort now oft, when in the vault i lay in vacant or offensive mood I know that Brother Ken's a spy for the Mafia or Rodney Rude and then my heart with pleasure fills and suffocates the daffy pills.. f.u. |
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19 Nov 05 - 04:56 PM (#1609094) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: freda underhill to understand the subtle complexities of the thrird last line, ..read on! |
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19 Nov 05 - 05:37 PM (#1609128) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: SINSULL Giok, Jacqui and I just discovered a pair of sheep living less than a mile from my house. Probably illegal. Probaly not virgins. But they are here for you. Now leave JimmyT alone! The Lovely SINS |
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19 Nov 05 - 06:12 PM (#1609145) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Metchosin There was an old man from Leeds Who swallowed a package of seeds From out of his ass Came bunches of grass And his balls were all covered with weeds. |
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19 Nov 05 - 10:04 PM (#1609246) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Rapparee Rosalina, a pretty young lass Had a very magnificient ass -- Not rounded and pink As you probably think But gray, had long ears, and ate grass. |
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19 Nov 05 - 10:23 PM (#1609253) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Bee-dubya-ell Where'd this "merkin" work come from? Down here in Bubbaland we call a wig for a bald-headed twat a "Gizzmacher". |
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19 Nov 05 - 10:24 PM (#1609254) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace Meagre beaver in Canada. |
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19 Nov 05 - 10:25 PM (#1609255) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace . . . but that's not true. Just made it up. |
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19 Nov 05 - 10:31 PM (#1609259) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: bobad In French it's known as a pubé toupé. |
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19 Nov 05 - 11:53 PM (#1609283) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: GUEST,Freda's Shocked Santa. That's it...coal is all you get. Just coal. |
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19 Nov 05 - 11:57 PM (#1609286) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: freda underhill Santa, where have you been? you know, Christmas in Sydney could be a boiler - what will I do with coal? I promise, promise that I will try to be good! a very penitant freda ps, the f.u. thing. it's just my initials, you know?, think, like in the Odd Couple.. (felix unger used to sign his notes f.u...) |
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20 Nov 05 - 07:42 AM (#1609375) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: John MacKenzie Does this mean the expression 'Cut a rug' is a mis-print then? Giok |
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20 Nov 05 - 08:59 AM (#1609399) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: jimmyt well,well,well,......... I see there has been a lot of adolescent giggling and tittering and making fun of ole jimmyt while he was away trying his best to make it a better world, one tooth at a time. Giok, I have my legal team looking in to this Merkin bit. Harry Richard, oh how clever! These people have violated my very latest corporate research with planting a spy on my R and D department. It is just this type of corporate espionage that makes it so difficult for an honest businessman to eke out a living these days. Now I shall have to let my chauffer go in order to tighten my belt. So lets review: We still have the best line of thongs on the planet, soon to come out with the camo line for the redneck southern women. I have developed several edible products thanks to Jane and Geoff Duck and their UK market research. Sad to say the treacle thong has some ...........adhesion issues that we must overcome if this is to be a viable product. Thanks for all you have done, Mrs. Duck to run the experiments, I am sorry for the unpleasent "stickiness" and the whole ants-at-the-picnic incident was unpreventible . Send me the Casualty Department bill and I shall gladly reimburse you, dear. This Merkin bit will prove to be just fine for our Scottish Division. I appreciate Giok for heading up our work amongst the Celts and Picts. I will not tell you exactly how he came up with the idea of inserting the male genitalia in somthing tha so resembles sheepwool, but it was absolutely brilliant, Giok. Keep up the good work, mate, ewe are the man! I have a line of new products that will soon be available for Mudcatters everywhere, hopefully in time for the CHristmas gift-giving season, I can only give you a hint, marital aids that are environmentally friendly and combine the subtle aroma of several delicious products, kraut, beef jerky, tuna, beer, tandoori chicken, and Kim Chee for our Korean Friends. Yes, friends, the corporate world of jimmytinc continues to climb over the biotech and dotcoms to earn our rightful placeamong the giants. more to come.......... |
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20 Nov 05 - 09:40 AM (#1609418) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: John MacKenzie I am trying to make my [shag] pile too Jimmy! G.. |
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20 Nov 05 - 01:48 PM (#1609551) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Rapparee Why do you want to shag a pile? And what about my idea of Chia merkins? There's a fortune to be made there, I tell you! |
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20 Nov 05 - 03:15 PM (#1609593) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace "Yes, friends, the corporate world of jimmytinc continues to climb over the biotech and dotcoms to earn our rightful placeamong the giants. more to come" I think he's finally got the hang of it. The new Halliburton--and we can say we knew him when. (Will that be OK, jimmy?) PS Let's wait until he's a corporate giant, THEN we send the pictures of the sheep, etc. |
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20 Nov 05 - 03:55 PM (#1609609) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Rapparee Or the pictures of him modeling the products.... |
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20 Nov 05 - 04:00 PM (#1609613) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace . . . and the group shot with the herd. |
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20 Nov 05 - 06:44 PM (#1609687) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Rapparee Sheep aren't herd, cattle are herd. Sheep are flocked. |
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20 Nov 05 - 06:48 PM (#1609691) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace Oh yeah? Then what are birds, huh? Answer that. A flock of sheep. Pshaw. When the heck did you ever see a flock of sheep flying south? Huh? HUH? And if sheep aren't herd, then how do we know that Mary's Little Lamb cried all the way home? For a smart guy you just don't make sense at times. |
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20 Nov 05 - 09:40 PM (#1609841) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: jimmyt yeaH Rapaire! I'm with Brucie on this! because of one thing! They are called ShepHERDS They are not caled ShepFLOCKERS (Giok being the notable exception) with love and affection jimmyt |
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20 Nov 05 - 09:45 PM (#1609844) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Rapparee Well...well...oh yeah? What about llamas? What about ewes? What about whales, huh? -- they come in pods, like peas! And crows are just murder! Did you ever see a pod of sheep or a murder of cows? Or a pride of whales, for that matter? And for that matter, lamas come in a monastery! |
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20 Nov 05 - 09:51 PM (#1609850) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace About-to-be-flying llama. Flying llama. |
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20 Nov 05 - 09:55 PM (#1609858) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Rapparee Okay, so llamas come in airplanes. I didn't know that. "Hey, Jose! Is that your airplane of llamas in Mr. Garcia's garden?" The one-L lama, he's a priest The two-L llame, he's a beast, And I will bet a silk pajama There isn't any 3-L lllama. |
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20 Nov 05 - 09:56 PM (#1609860) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace Flying whales in a snowstorm. |
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20 Nov 05 - 10:02 PM (#1609864) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace It's just not yer day, Rapaire. |
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20 Nov 05 - 10:28 PM (#1609887) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Rapparee Actually, all animals, regardless of species or genus, come in a "bunch." This is best demonstrated by the following, true-life, statements: "Holy shit, Joe, there's a whole big bunch of buffalo comin' this way!" "Look at that bunch of whales over there!" "Colonel Custer, there's a bunch of Indians down in that valley." "There'a a bunch of cattle down in the draw fer ya, Smokey." "Gee, Dr. Fleming, that mold sure killed a bunch of bacteria, didn't it?" "Saw a bunch of elk jist over the rise this mornin'." "Be careful -- they've got a bunch of nasty dobermans." "Wow, a whole bunch of leperchauns right in my own back yard!" Inanimate things come in "crocks" or "buckets" and even sometimes in "bunches": "They've had a bunch of bad luck lately." "That's a crock of manure!" "Buddy, you've just got yourself a whole bucket of trouble!" "Henry, you're a crock, you know that?" "That damn bunch of leperchauns left a a crock of...stuff...in my backyard, the dirty spalpeens!" Well, that's settled once and for all. |
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20 Nov 05 - 10:32 PM (#1609891) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace You say so, mano. But there is this one exception . . . |
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20 Nov 05 - 10:36 PM (#1609893) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace And this guy. |
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20 Nov 05 - 10:40 PM (#1609896) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace BUT, it now seems you are right, Rapaire. SEE HERE. |
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20 Nov 05 - 10:42 PM (#1609898) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace Left to Right: Standing, Bill Carver and Harvey Logan ("Kid Curry") Seated, Harry Longbough ("the Sundance Kid"), Ben Kilpatrick ("the Tall Texan"), Robert Leroy Parker ("Butch Cassidy") |
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20 Nov 05 - 11:06 PM (#1609907) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Rapparee Just to add a bit of thread creep -- did you know that Robert Leroy Parker was the scion of a good Mormon family from Utah? That's just an interesting tidbit, it actually says nothing about the LDS Church one way or another. Orrin Porter Rockwell was lots worse. |
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20 Nov 05 - 11:10 PM (#1609912) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace The Destroying Angel indeed. |
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21 Nov 05 - 09:51 PM (#1610790) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: jimmyt Slight thread creep, but why in the hell is Thousand Island Dressing called THousand Island Dressing? I understand Italian and French and Ranch and Blue Cheese and Russian but Thousand Island? And why do they get to name a dressing? Why not the Lesser Antilles Dressing? Why not Micronesian Dressing? WHy not the Windward Islands Dressing? Am I smelling a conspiracy theory here? |
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21 Nov 05 - 09:54 PM (#1610793) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Rapparee When I was growing up we were so poor we had to use Hundred Island Dressing. |
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21 Nov 05 - 09:58 PM (#1610798) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace "Thousand Island Dressing - It is made from bits of green olives, peppers, pickles, onions, hard-boiled eggs and other finely chopped ingredients. The history of Thousand Island Dressing dates back to the early days of the 20th century and centers in the small resort village of Clayton, New York. A fishing guide named George LaLonde, Jr. guided visiting fishermen for Black Bass and Northern Pike through the waters of the 1000 Islands. After a day of fishing, he and his wife, Sophia LaLonde, would serve what they called "shore dinners" with a different and unusual salad dressing. The following story on the origin of Thousand Island Dressing was given to me by Allen and Susan Benas, owners of the Thousand Islands Inn: The rest is here. |
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22 Nov 05 - 09:21 PM (#1611670) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: jimmyt Why in the heck do we need a South Dakota and Carolina and a North Dakota and Carolina? Wouldn't it be much simpler to just have one each? Do we really need a choice? |
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22 Nov 05 - 09:25 PM (#1611672) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace That's so ya don't get two State capitals in one State. |
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23 Nov 05 - 09:09 AM (#1611890) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: John MacKenzie Bruce you're so erudite. G ☺ |
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23 Nov 05 - 06:40 PM (#1612394) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Rapparee No, he ain't. Bruce likes girls! |
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23 Nov 05 - 07:20 PM (#1612420) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace Is THAT what he meant. Thought he'd implied my parents never married. |
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23 Nov 05 - 11:52 PM (#1612565) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: jimmyt I thought Moses saw the Erudites worshiping the golden calf and threw down his Goldenrod tablet in disgust? |
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24 Nov 05 - 04:41 AM (#1612631) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: John MacKenzie Get up in the morning, slaving for bread, sir So that every mouth can be fed Poor me Erudite My wife and my kids, they packed up and leave me Darling, she said, I was yours to be seen Poor me Erudite Shirt them a-tear up, trousers is gone I don't want to end up like Bonnie and Clyde Poor me Erudite Think it might catch on? It sort of worked for Desmond Dekker and he never wore a merkin as far as I know. G. |
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24 Nov 05 - 06:17 PM (#1613121) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Dead Horse I thought that song was called "Me ears are alight" something to do with spontaneous combustion of dreadlocks........ But I am at present perfecting my own idea for gettin rich. Wait for it........ Its................... Self Adhesive Body Jewellery! I got this idea of having stick-on gold coins to be placed around the female genitalia. This has three distinct advantages. 1. No piercing necessary. 2. It provides a sign post to backward males. 3. Ideal for men who have always wished to come into money! |
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24 Nov 05 - 06:28 PM (#1613129) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace Wasn't Erudite a Greek playwright? Died about 2500 years back? |
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24 Nov 05 - 08:18 PM (#1613197) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: jimmyt Gin run out or do you just have too much time on your hands Deadhorse? Come to think about the idea.........I will have my people talk to your people!!!! |
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24 Nov 05 - 09:06 PM (#1613223) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace "Self Adhesive Body Jewellery! I got this idea of having stick-on gold coins to be placed around the female genitalia. This has three distinct advantages. 1. No piercing necessary. 2. It provides a sign post to backward males. 3. Ideal for men who have always wished to come into money!" Better give this more thought, Dead Horse. If the men are backward . . . well, it's gotta be one hell of a wang with one helluva turn in it--108 degrees by my reconin'. |
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24 Nov 05 - 09:06 PM (#1613224) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace plus 72 degrees=180 degrees. |
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25 Nov 05 - 07:01 AM (#1613443) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: GUEST Brucie you are a maths whiz - but can you do it in digital? |
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25 Nov 05 - 10:04 AM (#1613538) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Peace Digital? Wot's digital? Is that like the prostate exam? |
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25 Nov 05 - 02:18 PM (#1613714) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Rapparee Surgical adhesive. Works wonders. |
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26 Nov 05 - 12:04 AM (#1613947) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Dead Horse The whole point of the sign post is surely to provide direction for these poor unfortunate men (and their even more unfortunate women) Do I need draw a diagram ??? |
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26 Nov 05 - 06:28 PM (#1614326) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Rapparee I don't understand it. Is it something like when I played Doctor with the little girl next door and since she didn't have health insurance I tossed her out of the office? |
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26 Nov 05 - 11:20 PM (#1614456) Subject: RE: BS: JimmyT eat your heart out!!! From: Dead Horse Thats it exactly me old mate. Thats why NHS is pronounced nnnnnerrrrrrse! |
