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BS: A LOT of Shite

05 Dec 05 - 03:33 PM (#1620534)
Subject: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: GUEST

Every morning, I take a shite. Everyone else on the whole danged PLANIT does so, too. That is onehelluva LOT of shite! And only SOME of it gets processed before it is returned to "the environment." Am I the only one worried about this?


05 Dec 05 - 03:35 PM (#1620535)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: Rapparee

Probably.


05 Dec 05 - 03:37 PM (#1620537)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: MMario

Guess what? Most still isn't! think of all those fish, and whales, and every wild animal...The environment can handle it - except when way too many humans insist on crowding themselves and their pets and livestock into way too small a space.


05 Dec 05 - 03:39 PM (#1620538)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: number 6

Geeesh, with that thought .... I guess we should pack up the hounds and move out of town !!

sIx


05 Dec 05 - 03:45 PM (#1620543)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: Amos

You obviously haven't heard the song "Ten Billion Turds a Day" which is occasionally played on hober.com.


A


05 Dec 05 - 03:46 PM (#1620544)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: Wesley S

What's the alternative ?


05 Dec 05 - 03:49 PM (#1620546)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: GUEST,Ed

The reuse of manure, aka "your shite" is one of the most important cycles in farming.

You mention that: And only SOME of it gets processed

Nature has wonderful ways of processing it itself. No chemicals required. I suggest that you read a bit more and find out.

Without animal manure, we'd struggle to grow food efficiently (without the use of chemicals)...

Does that make you feel better?


05 Dec 05 - 03:53 PM (#1620549)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: number 6

Sure does .... think I'll move to the country, find a nice hundred acres right on the Saint John River, and start a great big hog farm!

sIx


05 Dec 05 - 03:55 PM (#1620550)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: GUEST,Ed

Wish I had the money to do the same!


05 Dec 05 - 03:55 PM (#1620551)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: gnu

No worries mate. "The Invisible E", superhero extrodinaire, will keep you safe. Of course, I refer to the Engineers of the world. We take care of your shit, your water, your electricity, your shelter, your transportation, your.......... invisibly. No problem. No shit.


05 Dec 05 - 03:58 PM (#1620557)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: number 6

Hell gnu ... they just pour the open untreated waste here in Saint John right out into the ocean. Why tax the citizen's of this good town any more than they have to. Waste engineers cost money, let alone the infrastructure to process that crap. Hell, let the ocean do it's trick!

sIx


05 Dec 05 - 04:00 PM (#1620559)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: gnu

Hog farm, sIx? Think you could compete with the Germans? They got the mass producing hog farm business sowed up here.


05 Dec 05 - 04:03 PM (#1620563)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: Amos

They're hogging the business, huh? What a boar that must be.

A


05 Dec 05 - 04:10 PM (#1620570)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: Dead Horse

Northern expression = Where there's muck, there's brass!


05 Dec 05 - 04:11 PM (#1620573)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: gnu

At the BIG hog farm up Kent County, you oughta see the chick in charge of, ah, er, collecting sperm. She is absolutely beautiful. Even though her right arm looks "outta place", she is good looking. Nice personality, too. Well, the boars ain't bored.


05 Dec 05 - 04:19 PM (#1620583)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: number 6

Good one gnu !!

Actually there are some concerns about the run-off from of the hog crap from those mega farms ... it's flowing from the rivers and streams out onto the north shore inot Cumberland strait ... not too healthy for the fish industry, especially shellfish.

Think about that when yer wolfing down yer next lobster.

sIx


05 Dec 05 - 04:29 PM (#1620597)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: gnu

Some concerns? The locals set the big barn on fire and killed how many hogs? Struck arses! The owners used the insurance money to expand!

Lobsters are bottom feeders. But, tasty bottom feeders, if you learn to like em. Odd to think that the farmers along the shore use to drag them and spread them on their fields... they were garbage a hundred years ago.


05 Dec 05 - 04:32 PM (#1620605)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: number 6

Hard to beleive ... and now lobsters go for around $12 lb. ... we ususally find someone who knows soemone who happens to be a lobster fisherman and get them for about $4 ilb.

sIx


05 Dec 05 - 04:38 PM (#1620611)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: gnu

Or, you can order an after dark delivery from our native brothers who believe that the quotas and seasons are a way of oppressing them.... $3 a pound, some large, some small.


05 Dec 05 - 04:43 PM (#1620614)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: Liz the Squeak

Imagine where we'd all be without the humble dung beetle... no wonder the Ancient Egyptians worshipped them.

And where would we be? Up to our necks in it!

LTS


05 Dec 05 - 08:48 PM (#1620819)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: Rapparee

Back in the days when McDonald's posted "Over 1 Billion Sold" and similar signs, I tried to compute the weight of the excrement produced by the hamburgers alone. My thesis was that the Earth would become unbalanced (at the time all McD's were in the US) and flip over.


05 Dec 05 - 09:46 PM (#1620844)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: Little Hawk

Just like a huge burger patty...

But for your theory to really "hold weight" I should think it would be more effective for everyone to defecate in one fairly small location in the USA. This would probably produce a local mass of excrement sufficient to collapse the Earth's outer crust. That would precipitate vast, cataclysmic eruptions, and the shit would literally hit the fan! The USA would be consumed in a methane-laden fireball, a shit-storm of unheard of dimensions, while the rest of the world watched with a mixture of horror, sympathy...and a certain vague sense of giddy relief.

It might even usher in the long-prophecied 1,000 years of peace.

Let's see if we can organize it.


05 Dec 05 - 10:01 PM (#1620850)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: SINSULL

I can name at least a dozen who start their day with bran and prunes in the hopes of contributing to the problem. Count your blessings as well as turds.


05 Dec 05 - 10:09 PM (#1620854)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: Little Hawk

I had to give up eating prunes at all, starting about 20 years ago. They began having the oddest effect on me. I don't really want to go into details, but...just imagine what it would be like being trapped inside a diving bell with Spaw for a few hours.

You would not, for example, want to strike a match in there.

I don't know what happened. When I was a kid, I would eat all the prunes I wanted, and without any very notable side effects. Aging is really a drag sometimes.


06 Dec 05 - 04:11 AM (#1620979)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: Big Al Whittle

Perhaps we ought to have special day where we all agree to do our bit by holding it in and not doing it. a bit like Live Aid, we could call it Shite Aid.


06 Dec 05 - 05:22 AM (#1621004)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: Gervase

At least our offerings get flushed and digested; what about our livestock? I worked out the other day that my sheep deposit more than 25 tonnes of crap a year on our pastures. That's a serious amount of shite (not to mention the methane from their chronic belching and farting).


06 Dec 05 - 06:36 AM (#1621025)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: Leadfingers

Gervase - Is it rich in nitrates ?? At least its Organic !!!


06 Dec 05 - 09:31 AM (#1621112)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: Rapparee

Rich in nitrates? NITRATES, like in explosives? Sheep sh...manure...is explosive???? This could explain a lot of things, but it bodes ill for Certain Ethnic And Cultural Groups.


06 Dec 05 - 06:30 PM (#1621527)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: autolycus

Do you know the one which compares the religions, and other things,in terms of shit, starting with

Taoism: Shit happens

Buddhism: This shit isn't really shit.


etc etc ?

Shall I post some more?


06 Dec 05 - 09:40 PM (#1621622)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: GUEST,Joe_F

Rapaire: The connection between fertilizer & explosives is a notorious fact of life. It is due to the anomalous strength (badly understood, last I heard) of the triple bond holding together the nitrogen molecules in the air. That creates a chemical bottleneck on the way to life, for which nitrogen is essential -- but attached to carbon, hydrogen, or oxygen, not to itself. To pry the N atoms apart we are indebted to certain special bacteria that live on the roots of legumes, but we are no longer dependent on them, because about a century ago we learned to do the job in factories. The same anomaly means that compounds of nitrogen tend to be highly unstable -- the N atoms are aching to get together again and give off a lot of energy when given a chance to do so. So, if you can make fertilizer, you can make explosives. There is an enormous amount of artificial fertilizer these days (has to be, to feed our huge population), and that is a useful fact for wicked people to know.

--- Joe Fineman    joe_f@verizon.net

||: What sticks to the spoon doesn't get stirred. :||


07 Dec 05 - 01:58 AM (#1621710)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: Gurney

From my grab-bag memory:

The salpetre which is a component of gunpowder was mainly obtained from dried urine. Wine-drinkers urine was best.

In China, most of the turds are put through the Magi-Mix along with animal effluent and other waste, and spread on the land as fertiliser. It is a valuable resource, but I wouldn't eat freshwater fish there.

Do you remember the Big Yin's monologue 'The Jobby Wheeker?'


07 Dec 05 - 04:22 AM (#1621751)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: Georgiansilver

I agree with Weelittledrummer on this one...a special day called 'Shiteaid'. A day with no excrement from anyone of the millions of TV viewers.....A good day for advertising laxatives...a good day for dancing ( try not to )....A bad day for anyone with a bad cough....9 try coughing whilst holding it in ).
How could we pick a particular day though.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Turdsday, Friday, Shatterday. Any ideas?
Best wishes, Mike.


07 Dec 05 - 10:14 AM (#1621949)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: saulgoldie

I Googled "happens religions" and found this:

Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List

    * Taoism: Shit happens.
    * Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
    * Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
    * Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
    * Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
    * Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
    * Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
    * Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
    * Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
    * Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
    * Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
    * Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
    * Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
    * Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
    * Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
    * Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
    * Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
    * Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
    * Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
    * Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
    * Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
    * Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
    * Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
    * Creationism: God made all shit.
    * Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
    * Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
    * Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
    * Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
    * Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
    * Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
    * Darwinism: This shit was once food.
    * Capitalism: That's MY shit.
    * Communism: It's everybody's shit.
    * Feminism: Men are shit.
    * Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
    * Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
    * Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
    * Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
    * Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
    * Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
    * Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
    * Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
    * Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
    * Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
    * Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
    * Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
    * Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
    * Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
    * Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
    * Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
    * Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
    * Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
    * Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
    * Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
    * Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
    * Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
    * Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
    * Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
    * Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
    * Atheism: What shit?
    * Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
    * Nihilism: No shit.

    * And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!


08 Dec 05 - 02:23 AM (#1622488)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: EBarnacle

Why is there a thread about Muslim sects??


08 Dec 05 - 03:34 PM (#1623053)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: GUEST,VizReader

I don't know about Shatterday, it's already called SaTURDay
Vizreader


08 Dec 05 - 04:20 PM (#1623093)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT e
From: SharonA

Alcoholics Anonymous #2: My name is    . I happen.


08 Dec 05 - 09:08 PM (#1623310)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: dianavan

I watch the love boats on their way to Alaska and imagine how much shit they spew into our waters.

I also worry about disposable diapers lying in mountainous heaps incubating endless number of diseases new and old.

I prefer using outhouses and can't quite reconcile the idea of shitting inside my place of habitation.

Yes, we will probably all be buried in our own shit one of these days. A trip to India will convince you of that.

Thank God, my shit doesn't stink.


09 Dec 05 - 10:22 AM (#1623549)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: Georgiansilver

Dianavan..If you go see your Doctor...he can give you something for your sinuses to help restore your sense of smell! ROFLOL.
Best wishes, Mike.


09 Dec 05 - 01:20 PM (#1623697)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: DougR

I think it's this thread thats a lot of shite.

DougR


09 Dec 05 - 01:31 PM (#1623713)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: Georgiansilver

You may be right DougR.....You are obviously qualified to make a judgement on shite....so I'll take your word for it.
Best wishes, Mike.


09 Dec 05 - 01:38 PM (#1623725)
Subject: RE: BS: A LOT of Shite
From: GUEST,p

oh for a minute I though this was going to be another thread on Iraq, but I misread the title.