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BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever

13 Dec 05 - 10:06 AM (#1626346)
Subject: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: GUEST,Viz Reader

It must be the 'Muppets' Christmas Carol' with a mixture of Dickens's mawkish tale, those irritating, squaking Muppets plus Michael Caine's ham acting. What's worse?
Viz Reader


13 Dec 05 - 10:14 AM (#1626353)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Stilly River Sage

Another stupid guest troll.

Or perhaps Little Hawk in another manifestation, shooting down sacred [muppet] cows to see who salutes.

Everyone knows that the Jim Carrey "Grinch" movie is the stupidist movie out there. Hands down.


13 Dec 05 - 10:15 AM (#1626354)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: InOBU

Scrooged.

bloody awful.


13 Dec 05 - 10:23 AM (#1626357)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Strollin' Johnny

They're all crap, every last sickly, schmaltzy, sentimental, badly-acted crummy one.
Bah Humbug - The True Path!
S:0)


13 Dec 05 - 10:29 AM (#1626362)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Paco Rabanne

The Exorcist.


13 Dec 05 - 10:48 AM (#1626375)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Strollin' Johnny

LOL!


13 Dec 05 - 11:00 AM (#1626383)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Clinton Hammond

I LOVE the Muppet X-mas Carol...

And Scrooged....

Jim Carry's Grinch I could do without, but it's easily ignored....

The Ref with Dennis Leary is great too!


13 Dec 05 - 11:56 AM (#1626417)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Chris Green

Santa Claus The Movie. Yuk!


13 Dec 05 - 12:06 PM (#1626424)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: curmudgeon

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, worse than Plan 9 - Tom


13 Dec 05 - 12:09 PM (#1626426)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Rapparee

Santa Clause vs. The Martians (or whatever the title like that was).


13 Dec 05 - 12:24 PM (#1626435)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Little Hawk

God knows which one I would pick. There are so many bloody awful Christmas movies. I do like the one with the kid who wants the BB gun, and I enjoyed the Schwarzenneger one, whatever it was called.

I vaugely recall the Muppet one...I guess it would fall somewhere in the middle category. Not downright awful, not all that good either. I always enjoy Kermit, though.

I only vaugely recall the Jim Carrey one too. It must not have made much of an impression. Either that or my memory is going...


13 Dec 05 - 12:31 PM (#1626445)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Little Hawk

"Vaguely", that is. Seems like my spelling is going too.


13 Dec 05 - 12:45 PM (#1626458)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Lonesome EJ

Bad Santa, without a doubt. If you get a kick out of Billy Bob Thornton acting like a drunken, horny, thieving department store Santa spouting lines like "Jesus Christ Kid! Fuck's wrong with you? You act like a fuckin' retard!" then maybe you loved it. Stupid and mean-spirited, and aimed at an audience of 13 year olds and their mental equivalents.


13 Dec 05 - 12:45 PM (#1626459)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: GUEST

I love the bizarreness of Muppet Xmas Carol too. I'm a big Bill Murray fan, but didn't think much of Scrooged. I wouldn't cross the street to see Jim Carey in anything, I think the guy is talentless and obnoxious, and certainly no Robin Williams when it comes to stream of consciousness stuff. But there are MUCH worse versions of the Dickens classic than those two...the one with Whoppi Goldberg comes to mind, for instance.

For truly awful Xmas fare, I'd definitely nominate "Miracle on 34th St" and "The Bells of St Marys" and pretty much every single "Walton's Christmas" sort of TV show sort of crap.

My favorite Xmas films continue to be: Tim Burton's "Nightmare Before Xmas"; Bob Clark's "A Christmas Story"; "Muppet Xmas Carol", and the Bloom County "A Wish for Wings that Work".

I'm not a fan of "It's a Wonderful Life" though I think Jimmy Stewart was good enough in the film. Though it wasn't exactly his best work, it is still to recommended as an historical artifact, because J. Edgar Hoover condemned it as "subversive".

In the "oldies" canon of Xmas fare, I much prefer Judy Garland in "Meet Me in St. Louis". My favorite Xmas song (and I only have a few I even like!) comes from that film--Judy singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas". Just the right combo of bittersweet to that holiday song.

I also enjoy watching "The Bishop's Wife" every now and then, just to see Cary Grant and David Niven in the same movie.

On my worst list:

Aforementioned Grinch w/Jim Carey; Charlie Brown Xmas; Home Alone; Christmas with the Kranks...

More recently, I enjoyed "Love Actually". I thought "Bad Santa" was a disappointment, but I'll likely get this year's "Ice Harvest" from Netflix eventually. I'm not a Billy Bob fan, but I like John Cusack.


13 Dec 05 - 12:53 PM (#1626472)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: GUEST

Also, the bizarre TV show "Frosty the Snowman" entertained me when I was stoned in my misspent youth.


13 Dec 05 - 01:05 PM (#1626482)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Little Hawk

Wouldn't it just be great if they brought together ALL the key players from "Scrooged", "Bad Santa", "The Grinch", "Christmas With the Kranks", etc...and put them in ONE stupendous Christmas movie blockbuster that was three hours long? They could put Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, and Pamela Anderson in it too, as Santa's Elves.

Call it "A Hollywood Christmas". I think a script could be written for this in about 1 week, no problem. Put Danny De Vito in it too, as a nasty, greedly little toy store owner who cheats his customers and hates kids. Magic, eh?

Maybe get Ben Affleck in it too. And Jen, of course. And Bradd Pitt and Angelina. And the other Jen. Why not? Some possibilities here.

Maybe get cameo appearances by George Bush and Dick Cheney (who could play a department store security officer and Santa Claus, respectively).


13 Dec 05 - 01:06 PM (#1626487)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Coyote Breath

They are all weak in some way.

INHO the best Christmas story is:


"The Life of Brian" which is more of an Easter story, I know.

I try to rent "The Life" and "Scrooged" and "Christmas Story" right around this time each year. I invite my friends over for egg nog and snacks.

My list of friends keeps getting smaller.

I think it will be just me and my stuffed coyote, "Sparky" this year.

The quantity of egg nog, however, remains the same.

Mary Chrispness to all!!

CB


13 Dec 05 - 01:19 PM (#1626501)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: GUEST

CB, maybe you should try showing "The Bishop's Wife" and serving apple martinis. You might make some new friends.


13 Dec 05 - 01:47 PM (#1626524)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: robomatic

The Home Alone Series was ghastly and unfunny.

That one where Michael Keaton played a father reincarnated as a snowman was also awful.


13 Dec 05 - 02:05 PM (#1626538)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Alba

My 1st pick would have to be
The day they gave Babies away! a 1955 B Movie.
Oh my...it is just so.......words fail me...
Running a close second comes the dreadful Surviving Christmas with Ben Affleck.
and third, I agree with robomatic, the one with Michael Keaton reincarnated as a snowman....bloody hell...


13 Dec 05 - 02:32 PM (#1626561)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Rapparee

Don't forget the TV show with the elf who wanted to be a dentist....


13 Dec 05 - 02:36 PM (#1626567)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Clinton Hammond

"the one with Michael Keaton reincarnated as a snowman...."

Jack Frost....

It was originally done as a B-horror that is abso-fkn-lootly hillarious!!!

http://imdb.com/title/tt0116671/


13 Dec 05 - 02:46 PM (#1626578)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Bee-dubya-ell

"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is also infamous for providing the remarkably untalented Pia Zadora with her first movie role.

No, she didn't play Santa Claus. She played a little girl, which was pretty astute casting considering that she was a little girl at the time.


13 Dec 05 - 03:04 PM (#1626598)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: CapriUni

I know this is off-topic for this thread, but my favorite movie to watch at Christmastime (even if there is not a single mention of Christmas in the whole tale), is the Danish movie Babette's Feast.

Of the TV specials fare, I have to agree with the Guest who dislikes "Frosty the Snowman." Even considering the animation technology available at the time it was made, it comes off looking cheap and badly done.

My favorite TV special this time of year is the original animated "Grinch", directed by Chuck Jones.

Last year, I sat down at my computer and found an etext of Dicken's Christmas Carol. I enjoyed it much more than any of the various film versions out there. I half-wished there was a daring film maker out there who would retell it in the spirit of social and political protest that Dickens originally wrote it, and who would use modern effects technology to make the spirits appear as Dickens described them.

But mostly, I admit, I like wallowing in smaltz this time of year.


13 Dec 05 - 03:07 PM (#1626602)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Little Hawk

I miss almost all of it by not watching TV and not listening to the radio. If it wasn't for the Net, I'd forget about it entirely.


13 Dec 05 - 03:10 PM (#1626605)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: GUEST

"But mostly, I admit, I like wallowing in smaltz this time of year."

Then you should definitely rent "Meet Me in St. Louis"!

The even more bizarre thing about "Frosty the Snowman" is, even though it is SO horribly bad, it continues to run year after year after year! Looks like it was made by the guy who invented crack, eh?


13 Dec 05 - 03:21 PM (#1626611)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Little Hawk

That is typical of the entertainment media. They just keep doing what they did the last time. Over and over again. They would only stop if everybody stopped watching or if a giant asteroid hit the Earth and destroyed our entire civilization.


13 Dec 05 - 03:36 PM (#1626621)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Pseudolus

How could anyone NOT love Frosty the Snowman?!?!?!?!? The mouths are not synched up with the dialog and the animation sucks but Jimmy Durante makes it all worthwhile! OK, I guess I agree with CapriUni on the Shmaltz thing. I admit, I listen to the all Christmas, All the time radio stations and I will be watching Rudolph, the Grinch, Frosty and all the rest very soon. And then, "White Christmas"!

Oh wait, this thread was about the worst Christmas Film....hmmmm, I really didn't like the Jim Carrey Grinch thing although I usually do like Jim Carrey.

Merry Christmas!
Frank


13 Dec 05 - 06:09 PM (#1626724)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: robomatic

CapriUni wrote:

Last year, I sat down at my computer and found an etext of Dicken's Christmas Carol. I enjoyed it much more than any of the various film versions out there. I half-wished there was a daring film maker out there who would retell it in the spirit of social and political protest that Dickens originally wrote it, and who would use modern effects technology to make the spirits appear as Dickens described them.

oddly enough, there was a Rod Serling take on Christmas Carol updated to the Nuclear Future, aired in the 60's. Saw it once as a young kid and it scared the bejesus outta me. I've looked into it and though it is memorable, it is unobtainable.


13 Dec 05 - 06:16 PM (#1626734)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Stilly River Sage

I love some of the old Looney Tune and Warner Brothers holiday cartoons that were made 50 years ago or more. Some are sweet, some are quite grim, some are very funny.

Somewhere around here I have a tape of a christmas special from the 1980s with the California Raisins and George Plimpton and a hodge-podge of characters. Very funny and/or sweet vignettes.

SRS


13 Dec 05 - 06:49 PM (#1626769)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Jim Dixon

"Jingle All the Way" was pretty bad. It starred Arnold Schwarzenegger. I only went to see it because it was filmed in the Twin Cities and I wanted to see how many sites I would recognize. It wasn't worth the trouble. It was way worse than "Bad Santa" which I sort of enjoyed.


13 Dec 05 - 09:54 PM (#1626908)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Peter T.

"Love Actually" is the new worst. Britain suddenly turns into America for the holidays.

yours,

Peter T.


13 Dec 05 - 11:26 PM (#1626938)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: CapriUni

...there was a Rod Serling take on Christmas Carol updated to the Nuclear Future, aired in the 60's...

Ooh! Well, keep your hopes up. Every year, more new restorations of old classics are getting put on DVD -- especially "cult" favorites that wouldn't don't have a wide audience, otherwise.

Speaking of retellings, every year on Christmas afternoon, my local public radio station broadcasts an audio of Jacob Marley's Christmas Carol by Tom Mula, which retells the story from the ghost's point of view. That's fun.


14 Dec 05 - 12:47 PM (#1627279)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: CapriUni

I don't know how that happened. The link to "Jacob Marley's Christmas Carol" is here: http://www.tommula.com/JMtape.html.


14 Dec 05 - 12:59 PM (#1627290)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: GUEST,Ahnold

You are welcome to your opinion, Jim Dixon. Your stupid opinion.   Just remember this: I'll be back.


14 Dec 05 - 03:35 PM (#1627387)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Liz the Squeak

Jack Frost.... {{{{{{shudder!!!}}}}}} Ghastly film..

Back in 1975 I was given the topic 'Christmas 2000' to write an essay on. Bear in mind that we were 10/11 and 25 years seemed a lifetime.

I wrote that we would still be watching 'The Wizard of Oz' and eating pre-packed frozen ready meals.... Little did I dream that it would all be true!!

LTS


14 Dec 05 - 04:32 PM (#1627421)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Cluin

The only filmed version of Dickens' Christmas Carol I can stomach is the musical one with Albert Finney.

Oh, and the Blackadder one.


14 Dec 05 - 04:44 PM (#1627433)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Joybell

We show a Pia Zadora double feature for Christmas. "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" and "Voyage of the Rock Aliens" We love Pia Zadora. Hooray for Santy Claus...
Cheeers, Joy


14 Dec 05 - 07:21 PM (#1627561)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: McGrath of Harlow

The only filmed version of Dickens' Christmas Carol I can stomach is the musical one with Albert Finney.

You can't ever have seen the 1951 version with Alistair Sims, !"Scrooge".

Worst? I generally seem to be able to wipe films I don't like from my memory. I think any version of the Christmas Carol set in modern times would probably qualify. I'm sure I've seen a few, at least part of the way through, but the memory has mercifully deliquesced.


14 Dec 05 - 08:47 PM (#1627633)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Cluin

Seen it a few times, McGrath. Prefer the book.

But I love the songs from the Finney one.


14 Dec 05 - 08:50 PM (#1627637)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Donuel

Shwartzenegger + a Christmas film = sickening drivel.


14 Dec 05 - 11:49 PM (#1627731)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Stilly River Sage

Revisit a few of your favorite moments from A Christmas Story.


15 Dec 05 - 11:16 PM (#1628489)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Peace

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre" has got to be the worst. It was nothing but blood and gore for the whole movie.


15 Dec 05 - 11:42 PM (#1628498)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Stilly River Sage

Bruce, I haven't seen that one. Is it a holiday movie?


16 Dec 05 - 05:42 AM (#1628604)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: The Walrus

The film that most affected me about Christmas wasn't a Christmas film as such, but, thanks to "The Victors", I can't hear "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" without mentally flipping back to that film and the execution scenes (and for the life of me,I don'tknow why). So for its effect on me, I'd nominate that.

Walrus


16 Dec 05 - 09:21 AM (#1628702)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: GUEST

fox news


16 Dec 05 - 07:03 PM (#1629104)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Peace

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre"

No. It shouldn't even BE a movie. I watched it near Christmas one year. Some guy running around with a chainsaw cutting people up. Awful.

I notice--on second look--that this thread pertains to movies made to cause 'feelings' and togetherness in the Yule season--not movies we watched in the Yule season. Pardon me one and all.


16 Dec 05 - 07:52 PM (#1629144)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: robomatic

For you 'fans' of Frosty the Snowman, it's been remastered! Also the 'return' of Frosty.

Meanwhile, a rather different and more recent video that my nieces really liked was: "Olive The Other Reindeer".


16 Dec 05 - 08:45 PM (#1629173)
Subject: RE: BS: The Worst Christmas Film Ever
From: Peace

Here's Olive!