happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')

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happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')

26 Jan 06 - 08:56 AM (#1655880)
Subject: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: Abby Sale

42nd US President Bill Clinton declares to reporters:

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." –

1/26/1998


          One morning my fair lady found me,
          In the arms of our young chamber maid,
          And when she demanded an answer,
          Oh, these are the words that I said:
                  I never had sex with that woman,
                  Though the contrary comes to your mind,
                  I never had sex with that woman,
                  Depending on how it's defined!
  
                           Words © 1998, Stephen L. Suffet with Ada Prill

26 Jan 06 - 05:21 PM (#1656192)
Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: GUEST,Geoff the Duck

Didn't he change his statement to "I had sex, but I didn't inhale...."
Or was that Monica?

Quack!!
GtD.

26 Jan 06 - 07:19 PM (#1656251)
Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: Peace

Monica just got the cigars mixed up in her head.

27 Jan 06 - 12:17 AM (#1656312)
Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: GUEST,Bill the Collie

I thought he said "...sexal...", omitting the "u".

Then again my ears ain't what they used to be.

27 Jan 06 - 12:21 PM (#1656545)
Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: saulgoldie

Yup, there're the lies about sumpin that is none of your danged business in the first place. And then there're the lies that cause thousands of deaths of innocent people. Me, I obviously couldn't care less about Clinton's piccadilos. That is an issue for him Hillary, and his G-d if has has one. I care somewhat more about the Bush lies and intrusions in MY private life that are none of HIS business. From where I sit, it seems pretty clear that whatever G-d Bush has must be quite confused, at the very least.

27 Jan 06 - 11:22 PM (#1656824)
Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: GUEST,Bert C

True enough about different kinds of lies, but consider this: How different might things be today if Slick Willie had kept his zipper up? For one thing, without having to be concerned about appearing to live out "Wag The Dog" in real life, he might have had the guts to go in after Osama when he had the chance. More importantly, had just a few morally-minded Floridians not been turned against the Democratic party and towards "family values", well just imagine how different Washington, New York and Baghdad might look today. Brings tears to my eyes. For further inspiration, check this out: Backwards Bush

Bert C

28 Jan 06 - 06:59 PM (#1657322)
Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: Ron Davies

The gravity of the incident, it's true, doesn't compare to that of various misdeeds of the maladmistration which now "governs" us.

But that's a great little poem. (song?)

29 Jan 06 - 10:40 AM (#1657368)
Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: gnu

Monica must be a hero to hookers. $3M per... don't need a lot of jobs when you're making that kinda money!

29 Jan 06 - 10:53 AM (#1657378)
Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: Abby Sale

Sorry, Ron Davies. I'll post the whole. Please note the copyright restriction.
======================================================
I Never Had Sex With That Woman
Words: Stephen Suffet (last verse Ada Prill)
Tune: "Rosin the Beau" ("Acres of Clams")

One morning my fair lady found me,
In the arms of our young chamber maid,
And when she demanded an answer,
Oh, these are the words that I said:

        I never had sex with that woman,
        Though the contrary comes to your mind,
        I never had sex with that woman,
        Depending on how it's defined!

I did not a thing to arouse her,
I gave her no pleasure, you see,
I averted my eyes and dropped trouser,
And allowed her to have sex with me.

        So I never had sex with that woman,
        Though the contrary comes to your mind,
        I never had sex with that woman,
        Depending on how it's defined!

'Twas then that my lady surprised me,
"I'm a sister of Sappho," she said,
"For that young chamber maid has enticed me,
Many hours have I spent in her bed."

        But I never had sex with that woman,
        Though the contrary comes to your mind,
        I never had sex with that woman,
        Depending on how it's defined!

So all you young fellows take warning,
And attention to me should be paid,
Or you'll find your fair lady one morning,
In the arms of that young chamber maid.

        And you'll never have sex with that woman,
        Though the contrary comes to your mind,
        Oh, you'll never have sex with that woman,
        No matter which way it's defined!

Words by Stephen L. Suffet and Ada Prill © 1998.---         "Permission is hereby granted for free use in any live performance provided proper credit is given. All rights are reserved, and anyone wishing to record or publish the song must obtain permission of the authors."

=========================================================

I sing this regularly in the local clubs about this time of year but (following Mr Suffet's permission) only while I'm alive. It's actually one of my more requested songs.

29 Jan 06 - 10:22 PM (#1657685)
Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: Ron Davies

It's great!---how could you withhold that from us?

20 Sep 11 - 08:12 AM (#3226028)
Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: Bernard

It's worth noting that 'Monica Lewinsky' is an anagram of 'a lick wins money'!!