|
09 Feb 06 - 06:35 PM (#1665543) Subject: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: wysiwyg I'm sure someone will get mad at me for this, but when I saw the email message title in my inbox I could not resist! Apparently the "Left Behind" thing about the Rapture is really catching on, though! ~S~ Don't be left behind~ the enlargement revolution Finally the real thing- no more ripoffs! Enhancment Patches are hot right now, VERY hot! Unfortunately, most are cheap imitiations and do very little to increase your size and stamina. Well this is the real thing, not an imitation! One of the very originals, the absolutely strongest Patch available, anywhere! A top team of British scientists and medical doctors have worked to develop the state-of-the-art Pen1s Enlargment Patch delivery system which automatically increases pen1s size up to 3-4 full inches. The patches are the easiest and most effective way to increase your size. You won't have to take pills, get under the knife to perform expensive and very painful surgery, use any pumps or other devices. No one will ever find out that you are using our product. Just apply one patch on your body and wear it for 3 days and you will start noticing dramatic results. Millions of men are taking advantage of this revolutionary new product - Don't be left behind! As an added incentive, they are offering huge discount specials right now, check out the site to see for yourself! Here's the link to check out! |
|
09 Feb 06 - 06:40 PM (#1665546) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Rapparee Well, yes, I will. But I've been left so far behind already I'm running just to catch up with the past. |
|
09 Feb 06 - 06:42 PM (#1665549) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Little Hawk I have resigned myself to being "left behind" in this particular matter... (LOL!) |
|
09 Feb 06 - 06:43 PM (#1665554) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: John O'L Sounds good to me. I'll download one of these patches ASAP. |
|
09 Feb 06 - 06:51 PM (#1665564) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: autolycus So the hook is not to be left behind. I'm prepared to put up with just playing the hand I've been dealt. I can't believe I just wrote that. There was a card analogy in there when I started. Bloody Freud. Auto. |
|
09 Feb 06 - 07:03 PM (#1665577) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: catspaw49 Little Hawk is lying! He already tried them but not too successfully. He got them confused with his smoking cessation patches and now he has a second dick growing out of his right shoulder but his real pecker got nicotine poisoning, turned yellow and shriveled up the size of a cocktail weenie. Spaw |
|
09 Feb 06 - 07:08 PM (#1665580) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: John O'L So was he able to give it up or get it up? |
|
09 Feb 06 - 07:26 PM (#1665586) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Amos Um....Soooze, I think this a different sort of rapture they're talkin' about. A |
|
09 Feb 06 - 07:36 PM (#1665589) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: gnu Automatically increases size up to 3 or 4 inches? Ain't that a hard-on? A patch? All I need is her smile. |
|
09 Feb 06 - 07:44 PM (#1665594) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Little Hawk The rapture is only one consideration. What about the rupture? |
|
09 Feb 06 - 07:50 PM (#1665602) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Amos Yeah, Gnu, but she ain't lookin' at you any, that's the problem!! A |
|
09 Feb 06 - 07:53 PM (#1665605) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Bill D Those of us who are "left behind" are having a very nice party, thank you very much.... *wicked grin* |
|
09 Feb 06 - 07:58 PM (#1665611) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Clinton Hammond When it's this big, you don't need 3 or 4 more inches.... They'd just go to waste |
|
09 Feb 06 - 08:00 PM (#1665614) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Bill D "To save himself trouble, He put it in double" |
|
09 Feb 06 - 08:06 PM (#1665621) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: gnu Why is that a problem, Amos? Assuming, of course, I understand your grammatical error. |
|
09 Feb 06 - 08:09 PM (#1665628) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Bee-dubya-ell I don't have a left behind. I have a single behind with left and right sides, but not a separate left behind and right behind. In fact, I've never met anyone with a left behind and a right behind, though I have met a few people whose behinds were big enough that they could have subdivided them into separate left behinds and right behinds if they had been so inclined. |
|
09 Feb 06 - 08:11 PM (#1665630) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Alba Yahooooooooo a real BS Thread Thank you Susan and Y'all. No yuk stuff. Mudcat Bullshit at it best. Love it. That's all I have to contribute Folks:) Please resume abnormal service. Jude |
|
09 Feb 06 - 08:35 PM (#1665645) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Rapparee It adds 3 or 4 inches? Hell, I'm already six feet two! I'd have to buy all new pants. |
|
09 Feb 06 - 08:55 PM (#1665661) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: MaineDog No, I'll be right up front, thank you! MD |
|
09 Feb 06 - 09:43 PM (#1665685) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: wysiwyg (gnu, it's 3-4 bonus inches BEFORE the erection so it's proportionately larger WITH the erection, silly.) Thank you all for taking this one the right way! Ya made me larf! So.... would a proselytologist someone who helps people remove religious artifacts that've been crammed down their.... I mean up there.... you know what I mean, right???? ~S~ |
|
09 Feb 06 - 10:24 PM (#1665709) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: katlaughing Can't you just see Groucho twirling his moustache and saying "I'll be right behind you, m'dear!" Second what Alba said!! |
|
09 Feb 06 - 10:39 PM (#1665718) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Bill D Groucho's moustache was not twirlable....it was sorta like Hitler's. (and it was originally painted on) The Pink Pedanther |
|
09 Feb 06 - 10:54 PM (#1665732) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: katlaughing Oh..maybe I was thinking of his eyebrows, then? "Pink Pedanther!" Be still m'heart! |
|
09 Feb 06 - 11:22 PM (#1665751) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: John O'L "Ya made me larf!" - There goes my newfound four inches... |
|
09 Feb 06 - 11:59 PM (#1665766) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Rustic Rebel Enlargement of any kind could be a definite growth experience! |
|
10 Feb 06 - 12:09 AM (#1665770) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: katlaughing It's that obsession America has of "bigger is better"....do you want to SuperSize that?!**bg** |
|
10 Feb 06 - 12:19 AM (#1665773) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: LadyJean When I was at Girl Scout Camp, I heard the story of 3 men who went to a doctor, and asked him to make their penises grow larger. The doctor gave them some pills, and told them to come back in a week. The first man came in and said, "Mine grew an inch." The second came in and said, "Mine grew 2 inches." The third man came in twirling it over his head, and shouting, "Wahoo!" A Girl Scout may be clean in thought, word, and deed, but never in jokes. |
|
10 Feb 06 - 12:22 AM (#1665776) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Clinton Hammond Jokes should have a punch-line.... |
|
10 Feb 06 - 12:30 AM (#1665779) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Shanghaiceltic What about only being a little left behind but not greatly left behind? |
|
10 Feb 06 - 01:01 AM (#1665793) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: John O'L What about being left right behind? |
|
10 Feb 06 - 08:36 AM (#1665946) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: wysiwyg AND, we get to have fries with it! ~S~ |
|
10 Feb 06 - 08:46 AM (#1665953) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Bobert Ain't the size of the pencil but how ya' write... No brag, just fact... You can keep the patch, thankee... |
|
10 Feb 06 - 09:01 AM (#1665962) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Rapparee So, this young boy was all embarassed because his...organ...was so small. He'd see the other guys after gym class and they were all so much bigger. He went to his wise old grandfather and told him the problem. The grandfather knew that in only a very short time puberty would set in and Nature would fix the situations. So he told the lad to put a little bear grease on the tip every night before going to bed and in six months it would be larger. Six months later, the boy came back and, crying, told his grandfather that there had been no change at all. The grandfather asked him if he'd followed his instructions and the boy said that he had. Only the kid couldn't get bear grease and had used Crisco instead. "Oh, no!" shouted Granddad. "You didn't use Crisco!? Tell me you didn't use Crisco! Crisco is the worst thing to use, because Crisco is shortening!" |
|
10 Feb 06 - 12:06 PM (#1666133) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: MarkS It ain't the size of the wand, its the skill of the magician! |
|
10 Feb 06 - 02:59 PM (#1666285) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Bill D so, these two ladies were comparing notes about dating the same guy. One says "I was gonna let him take me to bed after he told me he had his school name tattooed on it, but when he undressed, that little thing said "MIT", and I got out of there fast!" The 2nd one smiles and says,"You left too soon....rub it a little and it says "Massachusetts Institute of Technology"! |
|
10 Feb 06 - 03:19 PM (#1666301) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Don Firth "It's hard and it's hard, ain't it hard. . . ." --Woody Guthrie Don Firth |
|
10 Feb 06 - 03:20 PM (#1666302) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: GUEST a huge discount in penis enlargement? how about a reduction in breast enargements? Sounds like it averages out to be the same as when you start. |
|
10 Feb 06 - 08:17 PM (#1666497) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: The Fooles Troupe If you don't get up front, you'll be left right behind! |
|
10 Feb 06 - 08:39 PM (#1666509) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: The Fooles Troupe MAKE PENIS FAST! X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649 Forwarded-by: Gene Philips INSTRUCTIONS: Follow these instructions EXACTLY, and in 20 to 60 days you will have received well over 50,000 inches of penis, all yours. This program has remained successful because of the inadequacy and vanity of the participants. Please continue its success by carefully adhering to the instructions. Welcome to the world of Mail Order Penis Enlargement! This business is a little different from most cosmetic surgery. Your product is not tangible and solid [sic], but rather, a service. You are in the business of extending penii. Many small of endowment are happy to pay big bucks for this service. (The money made from the penis enlargement is secondary to the income which is made from people like yourself requesting that they be included in that list.) 1) Immediately cut off your penis at the base. 2) Cut off the head of your penis, and pack it in ice for later use. 3) Take the remaining midsection of your penis, and cut it into 5 pieces of equal length. 4) Immediately mail each piece to the first 5 names listed below starting at number 1 through number 5. Send penis only please (total investment = your penis). Enclose a note with each piece stating: "Please add my name to your mailing list." (This is a legitimate service that you are requesting and you are paying with your penis for this service). 5) Remove the name that appears number 1 on the list. Move the other 9 names up one position. (Number 2 will become number 1 and number 3 will become number 2, etc.) Place your name, address and zip code in the number 10 position. 6) Post the new letter with your name in the number 10 position into 10 (Ten) separate newsgroups. 7) Within 60 days you will receive over 50,000 inches of PENIS. Keep a copy of this file for yourself so that you can use it again and again whenever you need penis enlargement. As soon as you mail out these letters you are automatically in the mail order business and people are sending you their penis to be placed on your mailing list. This list can then be rented to a reconstructive cosmetic surgeon that can be found in the Yellow Pages for additional income on a regular basis. The list will become more valuable as it grows in size. This is a service. This is perfectly legal. If you have any doubts, refer to Title 18, Sec. 1302 & 1341 of the postal lottery laws. NOTE: Make sure you retain EVERY Name and Address sent to you, either on computer or hard copy, but do not discard the names and notes they send you. This is PROOF that you are truly providing a service and should the AMA, FDA, or some other Government Agency question you, you can provide them with this proof! Remember as each post is downloaded and the instructions carefully followed, five members will be reimbursed for their participation as a Penis Enlarger with one inch of penis each. Your name will move up the list geometrically so that when your name reaches the number five position you will be receiving thousands of inches in penis. 1. Daniel J. Karnes 6394-B Tawney Bloom Mogi Donuts, MD 21045 2. Emil T. Chuck 6394-A Tawney Bloom Mogi Donuts, MD 21045 4. William Davenant 8295 Hiding Closet Rd Clarkston, MI 48348 5. Peter Ruckman 14805 Rivercrest Sterling Hts., MI 48312 6. Steven Crisp 3718 Kings Point Troy, MI 48083 7. Mark Gengler 5748 Patterson Troy, MI 48098 8. Pat Robertson 666 God's Little Homophobe Road Anti-Christ Hills, VA 48307 9. Fred Phelps 14-U Our Saviour of the Closet Lane Orchard Lake, MI 48323 10. Jesse Helms 20840 Tobacco Mercenary Street Lung Cancer Hacks., VA 48038 Dear Friend, My name is Daniel J. Karnes. In September 1988 my life was repressed and the bible thumpers were hounding me like you wouldn't believe. I was never laid and my mental disability checks had run out. The only escape I had from the pressure of failure was my Apple computer and my bible. I longed to turn my fixation into my vocation. This January 1989 my family and I went on a ten day cruise to the tropics. I bought a Double-Wide Trailer with CASH in Feburary 1989. I am currently building a Self-Worship Temple on the West Coast of Florida, with a private S/M Dungeon with room for all of my closeted friends, and a beautiful view of the bay from my women's shoes closet and wardrobe. I will never be underendowed again. Today I am equipped! I have over 400,000 inches of penis (33,333 feet and 4 inches! ) to date and will become a million-incher within 4 or 5 months. Anyone can do the same. This penis enlargement making program works perfectly every time, 100% of the time. I have NEVER failed to earn 50,000 inches or more whenever I wanted. Best of all you never have to leave home except to go to your mailbox or reconstructive surgeon. In October 1988, I received a letter in the mail telling me how I could earn 50,000 inches of penis or more whenever I wanted. I was naturally very skeptical and threw the letter on the desk next to my computer. It's funny though, when you are desparately underendowed, backed into a corner, your mind does crazy things. I spent a frustating day looking through the want ads for a wife who didn't need sexual fulfillment. The pickings were sparse at best. That night I tried to unwind by booting up my Apple computer and calling several gay bulletin boards. I read several of the message posts and then glanced at the letter next to the computer. All at once it came to me, I now had the key to my dreams. I realized that with the power of the computer I could expand and enhance this penis making formula into the most unbelievable penis enlargement generator that has ever been created. I substituted the computer bulletion boards in place of the post office and electronically did by computer what others were doing 100% by mail. Now only a few letters are mailed manually. Most of the hard work is speedily downloaded to other bulletin boards throughout the world. If you believe that someday you deserve that lucky break that you have waited for all your life, simply follow the easy instructions below. Your dreams will come true. Sincerely yours, Daniel J. Karnes -- Why doesn't Wenchell's -- Serve Mogi Donuts? About six months ago I received the enclosed post in letter form. I ignored it. I received about five more of the same letter withn the next two weeks. I ignored them also. Of course, I was tempted to follow through and dreamed of making thousands of inches, but I was convinced it was just another gimmick and could not possibly work. I was wrong! About three weeks later I saw this same letter posted on a local bulletion board in Montreal. I liked the idea of giving it a try with my computer. I didn't expect much because I figured, if other people were as skeptical as I, they wouldn't be too quick to part with their penis. But, I buy lottery tickets weekly in my province and have nothing to show for it but ticket stubs. This week I decided to look at this as my weekly lottery purchase. I addressed the envelopes and mailed out one piece of my penis in each as directed. Two weeks went by and I didn't recieve anything in the mail. The fourth week rolled around and I couldn't believe what happened! I can't say I received 50,000 inches, but it was definitely well over 35,000! For the first time in all my years, I was adequately endowed. It was great. Of course, it didn't take me long to feel inadequate again so I am using this excellent penis enlargement opportunity once again. Follow the instructions and get ready to enjoy. Please send a copy of this letter along with the enclosed letter so together we can convince people who are skeptical that it really works! Good Luck,
------------------------------------------------------------------- |
|
10 Feb 06 - 10:28 PM (#1666547) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: John O'L Help! I've cut off the head and packed it in ice, and I've cut the rest into five equal parts, but now I don't know which is which and there's so much blood all over the place I'll never be able to work out which piece to send to name number 5 or 4 or anything. Now I'm getting blood on the keyboard and the thing won't do wha |
|
11 Feb 06 - 01:01 AM (#1666635) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: LadyJean I suppose I should explain that the Girl Scout joke is presented dramatically. Instead of describing the third guy, one mimics him twirling his willy over his head. There's a variant of this, where the man with the biggest willy comes in twirling it like a watch chain. I suppose, in it's own way, it's folklore. But I like the joke about Crisco and Bear Grease better. |
|
11 Feb 06 - 01:53 AM (#1666643) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Stilly River Sage Yeah, so what's new. A real prick visited the thread and didn't get the point. . . |
|
11 Feb 06 - 11:31 AM (#1666797) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Stilly River Sage Come light of day, when considering the nature of this thread, I think we should all turn the other cheek. |
|
11 Feb 06 - 11:39 AM (#1666802) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: Stilly River Sage Considering that the offending remark was removed, maybe this one ought to go also. |
|
11 Feb 06 - 11:51 AM (#1666809) Subject: RE: BS: Will YOU Be 'Left Behind'? From: John MacKenzie A wandering minstrel I — A thing of shreds and patches, Of ballads, songs and snatches, And dreamy lullaby! My catalogue is long, Through every passion ranging, And to your humours changing I tune my supple song! I tune my supple song! Thank you G&S Giok |