To Thread - Forum Home

The Mudcat Café TM
42 messages

BS: saying bye bye to a pet

26 Feb 06 - 03:50 PM (#1679589)
Subject: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: GUEST,Jean

Non- pet lovers please bow out her !

My beautiful, mad, 12 year old dog died. We buried her in a friend's big garden.

I want to mark where she is with a little plaque, maybe with a song/ poem written on it. Does anybody know any apropriate songs, even something short. Or does anybody have any other ideas to share ?

26 Feb 06 - 03:53 PM (#1679596)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: LilyFestre

Hi Jean,

   Saying goodbye is tough. We had to say goodbye to our cat Ellie just a month ago. We had her cremeated and when the ground softens in the spring, we will bury her in our yard. Our tradition is to mark the spot with a beautiful tree or flowering bush...something that will last a lifetime.


26 Feb 06 - 03:55 PM (#1679599)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Purple Foxx

Guest Jean please accept my condolences.
The epitaph on one Roman grave read "I was not, I have been ,I am no longer . I am satisfied." Please believe me when I say I can not improve on that.

26 Feb 06 - 03:57 PM (#1679604)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Peace

Sorry, Jean. Hand in.

26 Feb 06 - 03:58 PM (#1679607)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Peace

"The one best place to bury a good
dog is in the heart of his master."

26 Feb 06 - 04:03 PM (#1679617)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: SunnySister

Hi there Jean,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss with your beloved dog.

There is a poem called "The Rainbow Bridge" that is very popular at a time like this:

Also on that site, there is a page regarding pet loss.

I read a few poems on that site and although they got me crying, I don't know if any of them would be good for your memorial.

Here's another site that might be helpful too:

Sending my best during this hard time,

26 Feb 06 - 04:03 PM (#1679618)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Emma B

My cats both died at this time of the year - there are snowdrops growing on their graves in their favourite spot in the garden - I love to see them and remember.

26 Feb 06 - 04:10 PM (#1679629)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: SunnySister

Tribute To A Best Friend

Sunlight streams through window pane
unto a spot on the floor....
then I remember,
it's where you used to lie,
but now you are no more.
Our feet walk down a hall of carpet,
and muted echoes sound....
then I remember,
It's where your paws would joyously abound.
A voice is heard along the road,
and up beyond the hill,
then I remember it can't be yours....
your golden voice is still.
But I'll take that vacant spot of floor
and empty muted hall
and lay them with the absent voice
and unused dish along the wall.
I'll wrap these treasured memorials
in a blanket of my love
and keep them for my best friend
until we meet above.

Author Unknown

26 Feb 06 - 04:12 PM (#1679633)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: SunnySister

I found where Peace found that thoughtful sweet quote:

Where To Bury A Dog

There are various places within which a dog may be buried. We are thinking now of a setter, whose coat was flame in the sunshine, and who, so far as we are aware, never entertained a mean or an unworthy thought. This setter is buried beneath a cherry tree, under four feet of garden loam, and at its proper season the cherry strews petals on the green lawn of his grave. Beneath a cherry tree, or an apple, or any flowering shrub of the garden, is an excellent place to bury a good dog. Beneath such trees, such shrubs, he slept in the drowsy summer, or gnawed at a flavorous bone, or lifted head to challenge some strange intruder. These are good places, in life or in death. Yet it is a small matter, and it touches sentiment more than anything else.

For if the dog be well remembered, if sometimes he leaps through your dreams actual as in life, eyes kindling, questing, asking, laughing, begging, it matters not at all where that dog sleeps at long and at last. On a hill where the wind is unrebuked and the trees are roaring, or beside a stream he knew in puppyhood, or somewhere in the flatness of a pasture land, where most exhilarating cattle graze. It is all one to the dog, and all one to you, and nothing is gained, and nothing lost -- if memory lives. But there is one best place to bury a dog. One place that is best of all.

If you bury him in this spot, the secret of which you must already have, he will come to you when you call -- come to you over the grim, dim frontiers of death, and down the well-remembered path, and to your side again. And though you call a dozen living dogs to heel they should not growl at him, nor resent his coming, for he is yours and he belongs there.

People may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass bent by his footfall, who hear no whimper pitched too fine for mere audition, people who may never really have had a dog. Smile at them then, for you shall know something that is hidden from them, and which is well worth the knowing.

The one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of his master.

by Ben Hur Lampman

26 Feb 06 - 04:30 PM (#1679653)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Stilly River Sage

I noticed some cast stepping-stone like plaques at PetSmart the other day that were actually tastefully done, meant to place on the ground over the burial spot and are probably possible to mow over to maintain the area. They had embossed remarks in two or three versions.


26 Feb 06 - 04:37 PM (#1679663)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Skipjack K8

Not exactly what you want, perhaps, but offered in a spirit of support.

"My aim in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am"

26 Feb 06 - 05:07 PM (#1679690)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Sorcha

Me too today. I'm sorry.

26 Feb 06 - 05:25 PM (#1679699)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: kendall

This says it all much better than I could. You have my deepest sympathy.

Yellow Dog

You keep your lofty abstract God.
Myself, I choose a child of Pan,
An ordinary yellow dog
Who does for love what mortals can,
Who stretches out her mortal frame
Determinedly, although she's lame
For one more walk beside her man.

Whose ashes grace the forest way
We roamed together yesterday.
And to the wilder god I pray:
Give her soul some woods to run,
A stick to fetch, a patch of sun.
And near her, Pan, preserve a place
For me, come from a lesser race .

) 1994 W. B. Leavenworth

26 Feb 06 - 05:26 PM (#1679701)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: ranger1

Kendall knows a great poem called "Ode to a Yellow Dog" or something similar to that. When our boyo goes, that's what I want on his grave.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Few things leave such a huge hole in our hearts as that of the loss of a pet. There are support groups for the loss of people, but none that I know of for pets. And one gets insensitive remarks such as "but it's not like they were human." No, but they are sometimes more comfort than humans.

26 Feb 06 - 05:27 PM (#1679703)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: SunnySister

Obviously, Sorcha, you and Annie were in my thoughts as I was reading some of the poetry for Jean. I was so praying that you and your husband would not need to deal with this hard situation so soon. I'm so sorry.

This week I've held my cat, Rosie, extra close. I know that each day is precious. Sometimes you have a pet companion that is more special than all the rest. Rosie is that for me and I'm so grateful I decided to adopt her as she was considered in the "hard to adopt" category because she was 6 1/2 when I found her. I knew within seconds that she was THE ONE after 6 years of looking after my other elderly cat passed away.

I may never have children although I know what its like to love a furchild. It may be hard for some people to understand that sort of connection but for those that do, we are blessed by our connections with our animals and times like these, when we lose them, is just the same as losing a human in our lives.


26 Feb 06 - 05:35 PM (#1679710)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Ebbie

My heart goes out to all who mourn the loss of a companion.

Beside a grave where a friend of mine buried his beloved Old English under a lush wisteria canopy he placed a wooden bench where he often sits and reads or just contemplates the mysteries. Sometimes he directs a remark to Jeffrey, just in case he's hanging around.

26 Feb 06 - 05:49 PM (#1679723)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Maryrrf

I know what it's like to lose a pet - like losing your best friend. I'm sorry.

26 Feb 06 - 06:24 PM (#1679749)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: LilyFestre


   I love the poem. Thanks for sharing that., love and more love to you.


26 Feb 06 - 07:01 PM (#1679774)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Bobert

First of all, Jean, I am so sorry to read of your loss...

I have always been a sucker for dogs and cats that show up at my door looking hungry and in need of some lovin' so it seems that I always am goi8ng thru this myself and it's never any easier...

Back at my little piece of "almost heaven" in Wes Ginny I had a trail that went thru the woods and had my cemetary up there right next to the path... In it are thr remains of 3 dogs and 3 cats...

But then there was Beau... He came to me thru marriage and he was as fine a golden retriever as ever was... Yeah, Judy, had had him for about 8 years when we were married and he fit in real well with my collection of adoptees but Beau got real bad in his hips at age 11, just as, sniff, Judy was diagnosed with invasive breast cancer...

Well, the two fought together but Beau got real bad first and we took him to Doctor Pease and had him put to sleep... Her daughters were there with us and it was okay... Judy wanted him cremated and so we got back his ashes... I had a nice little wildflower area back in the woods and so we waited until Judy's daughters and their husbands could make it up there and we had a peaceful little ceremony back there and spread his ashes on the garden... I hasd made a sig that read "Beau's Garden" and screwed it to a tree overlooking the area... That was in early summer of 1996...

Judy died the following October 2nd... Sniff...

I can't think of loosing pets without thinking of loosing Judy...



BTW, we have since moved but I'm sure that the folks who bought our place back in Wes Ginny will wonder about the "Beau's Garden" sign and the 6 large quartz rocks lined up next to the path...

26 Feb 06 - 07:09 PM (#1679778)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: SunnySister


Thank you so much for sharing about Beau and Judy. My father passed away suddenly on Christmas Day 2003. His beloved border collie, Bobby, attended his funeral and in the dog's mourning for my father, died within two months. Bobby's ashes are buried next to my father's and my stepmom put Bobby's name on the gravestone too.

The two, like yours, are interwined in my memories in death as they were in the last year's of their lives.

The postscript is that my sister now has a black and white border collie by the name of Bobbie II.

Hugs- SunnySister

26 Feb 06 - 07:20 PM (#1679784)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Divis Sweeney

Always hard to say goodbye to a pet. A friend of mine recently lost his dog of 18 years. He said wise words, the older you get the more inclined you prefer pets to people, very true. Also I always think animal lovers could not keep pets, too painful to say goodbye to. I have two cats, lost one last year due to age. She was so lovely.
Heart goes out to you.

26 Feb 06 - 09:01 PM (#1679872)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: GUEST,AR282

A friend of mine's beloved dog died last year and he wanted to commemorate her passing in some way, so I suggested erecting a sundial over the grave, which is on his property. Instead buying one, we built one. He hasn't carved a motto yet--I suggested "Life and love pass swiftly" but he doesn't know yet what he wants so he's holding off.

But the sundial is so lovely that I think I will do the same for my cat when he goes (although he's pretty young right now). Maybe I'll use that motto--then again maybe not.

26 Feb 06 - 09:41 PM (#1679913)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: JudyB


No ideas beyond what others have already shared, but my deepest sympathy.


27 Feb 06 - 03:49 AM (#1680033)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Ernest

Google or the epitaph Lord Byron wrote for his dog Boatswain.
I have never read something better.

27 Feb 06 - 04:03 PM (#1680488)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: SunnySister

Per Ernest's message with thanks to him:

At the death of 'Boatswain', the Newfoundland who was the trusted friend of Lord Byron, the famed English poet has a monument erected on his grave at Newstead abbey. Then he wrote the following poem, which was etched on one side of the octagonal shaft:

When some proud son of man returns to earth,
Unknown to glory, but upheld by birth,
The sculptor's art exhausts the pomp of woe,
And storied urns record who rests below;
When all is done, upon the tomb is seen,
Not what he was, but what he should have been.
But the poor dog, in life the firmest friend,
The first to welcome, the foremost to defend,
Whose honest heart is still his master's own,
Who labors, lives, fights, breathes for him alone,
Unhonored falls, unnoticed all his worth,
Denied in heaven the soul he held on earth.
While man, vain insect, hopes to be forgiven,
And claims himself a sole, exclusive heaven.
Ye! Who behold, perchance, this simple urn,
Pass on; it honours none you wish to mourn.
To mark a friend's remains these stones rise,
I have never known but one - and here he lies.

27 Feb 06 - 04:12 PM (#1680493)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Mr Fox

"The Power of the Dog"
Rudyard Kipling

THERE is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie—
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart for a dog to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet's unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find—it's your own affair—
But . . . you've given your heart to a dog to tear.

When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!).
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone—wherever it goes—for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart to a dog to tear.

We've sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we've kept 'em, the more do we grieve.
For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short-time loan is as bad as a long—
So why in—Heaven (before we are there)
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?

27 Feb 06 - 04:13 PM (#1680495)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)


If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep;
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle can't be won.

You will be sad, I understand;
But don't let grief then stay your hand.
For this day more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years;
What is to come can hold no fears.
You don't want me to suffer so
The time has come, please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend,
But please stay with me 'til the end
To hold me close and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree,
It was a kindness done for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I'm saved.

Please do not grieve that it was you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years;
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

Author Unknown

27 Feb 06 - 04:20 PM (#1680503)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Raptor

I'm so sorry. I love my dog so much and I can't stand the thought of loseing him.


27 Feb 06 - 08:25 PM (#1680747)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: catspaw49

A tough thread to read isn't it? I was just re-reading the poem Dave posted the other day as Karen and I are close to losing the finest dog either of us has ever shared out lives with. Old age is catching up with our beautiful Weimaraner Jaeger. He's almost completely blind now and close to deaf as well, His hips and joints have become a problem and the other night he was in almost a coma-like state for an hour or so. But he came out of it and has been pretty good since. He's generally pretty happy and still able to get up with us on the bed with a little assistance. We both know his time is short but he's not yet in any pain short of some arthritic stiffness.

Both Karen and I are prepared to do what we have to but it will be a tough call......Right now he's sleeping contentedly at my feet....Huh....Must have known I was writing about him.....Just woke up and gave me a few licks in exchange for some ear scratchin'!

George Carlin said that every time you get a dog you get your own future tragedy.


27 Feb 06 - 09:19 PM (#1680781)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: kendall

"He who loves gives hostage to fate."

27 Feb 06 - 10:58 PM (#1680831)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Scoville

One of our rescue dogs died and we had no place to bury him and couldn't afford to have him cremated (we had lost our old dog 5 weeks earlier after a long and expensive bout with cancer), so he went off for a mass cremation and scatter. We don't even have a picture of him. It's been almost seven years and I still feel terribly about that. Somebody else neglected him for nine years--we should have done better by him for his last week.

The next rescue we got, we took a zillion pictures of her in her ugliest Starving Rescue Dog stage, just in case. I've learned--no matter how bad they look, take a picture. She's 12-ish now and shows no signs of slowing down but I can't stand the thought of losing her.

I can't read the Rainbow Bridge poem. I've read it a million times and I've never gotten all the way through.

28 Feb 06 - 02:33 AM (#1680871)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Ella who is Sooze

You really miss your pets when they are gone, but there's usually a lot of fine memories too.

I miss my old bagpuss of a cat, I had him when I was 5 and he died when I was 25. By the time I was 24 he'd used up nearly all his 9 lives, had 1 eye, and was the grumpiest, funniest ould man going. He continued his distrust and hatred of all men (except my dad) by chasing any unsuspecting specimens out of the garden. Then, saying all this, I could hold him like a baby, tickle his chin as much as i liked. I was distraught when he died, it was awful, and since then I've lost 2 others, both almost as bad as the first.

I sometimes wonder why we do it to ourselves, but the companionship, pure trust, love, loyalty and fun they give back is all I have to say, they are so rewarding to be with.

I wouldn't want to be without a pet, someone who's always around to talk to and cheer you up.


28 Feb 06 - 02:55 AM (#1680878)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: freda underhill

Hi jean

I started this thread Departed Pets when my beloved cat Dellie died. You'll find some fellow petlovers sharing their thoughts here. we buried her in the back yard, in a little cardboard shoe box, in the ferns under a tree. We put lots of sticks of incense amongst the ferns, smoking the area with sweet sandalwood fragrance.

good luck in honouring your dog and giving him a loving send off.

freda x

28 Feb 06 - 08:46 AM (#1680997)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: jacqui.c

Many years ago we adopted an unwanted kitten, one of a litter that had been abandoned with their mother. As the years went by we joked that we could understand why Min was abandoned - she could be a complete pain in the neck when she wanted to be. She had the loudest howl I have ever heard and, if she wanted attention, would just climb onto your lap and stare in the most baleful way. She was, however, a very affectionate friend.

She lived with us for about twelve years before finally succumbing to failing kidneys as a result of a thyroid condition. She could have lived longer with medication but it became an absolute battle to get the pills into her and we decided that the trauma she was going through when medicated was worse than the disease.

She finally collapsed while we were away and my daughter had to take her to the vet, who put her down.

A copule of days later we picked her up from the vet and buried her under a bench in the garden which had been her favourite roosting place for just about all the time we had been in that house. A year or so later we found a crouching cat garden ornament which we placed on top of her grave.

28 Feb 06 - 09:52 AM (#1681041)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Zany Mouse

Oh Jean - what can we say? Nothing will ease the pain, only time (perhaps).

I've owned and loved quite a few dogs in my life and at the end of their life wanted, like you, to have some sort of memorial to honour their many qualities and love.

Every time this has happened I came to the same conclusion: The best way to honour such a valued family member is to say "That was great, let's do it again".


28 Feb 06 - 10:10 AM (#1681051)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: GUEST,Jean

Thanks everybody for being so understanding and sympathetic.

The poems are lovely and I have had a look at the other links.

For the moment the sundial idea seems the best to me. I would like to write her wee poem, but so far nothing suitable has come out.

It's only been a few days, but I already know , that, yes, it was worth having her with me all those years, although it hurts to know she's gone.

Luckily I have her mum and her sister, and they are fine. My ex has got her neice, her grand-daughter and her boyfriend / nephew, and we share them all , so I have got plenty of other wee darlings to keep me busy.

They are worth it.

28 Feb 06 - 10:35 AM (#1681070)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: katlaughing

I've kept away from this thread as I knew it would make me cry and we've had so many of them through the years, but today, something told me to open it and my heart to the memories of those gone past and those yet to pass.

Thank you for sharing your loss with us and thanks for the poems, folks.

{{{{{{{{SPAW & KAREN & JAEGER}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Hugs to all,


28 Feb 06 - 10:54 AM (#1681089)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Windsinger

Can relate, we just had to put down the family cat of 12 years this past June. :(

She was jolly little beast: affectionate, plush as a stuffy-toy, and talkative, with a sweet chirrupy voice. Literate, even.

We haven't even had the heart to adopt a replacement yet.

My deepest sympathies.



05 Mar 06 - 01:44 PM (#1685736)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: Sorcha

Had a strange thing happen last night....I was reading, closed my eyes for a sec...and there sat Annie at my feet....she said, Go write this I did...Here it is...

A Gift From Annie

There is a place where I will go
When I am tired.
I will wait there for you
Until you are tired too.

Together we will go
To a place where we can rest
And look into each other's eyes again

You will give me cookies,
I will give you kisses
We will be together again.

I will run, and you will rest,
Then we shall both rest again.

                                                                   Annie, as told to Mom

05 Mar 06 - 05:46 PM (#1685941)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: KT

So sorry to hear of your loss, Guest, Jean. Been there....sigh.....They stretch our hearts, don't they?

06 Mar 06 - 01:46 PM (#1686533)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: JudyB

Beautiful, Sorcha!

They do stop back to say hi now and again, generally when you're at rest and least expecting it.

06 Mar 06 - 01:58 PM (#1686550)
Subject: RE: BS: saying bye bye to a pet
From: GUEST,Van

A few years ago our cat died and we buried him in the garden and put a roofing tile there as a headstone. A few weeks later a neighbour stole the roofing tile.