BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer

28 Mar 06 - 05:35 PM (#1705011)
Subject: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Bert

We still don't know when your birthday really is but seeing as Shambles is celebrating his today, I thought I'd wish you a happy day too.

Then you two of my good friends can enjoy a day together. Best wishes and a very happy day to both of you.

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28 Mar 06 - 05:39 PM (#1705018)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Catherine Jayne

I thought Joes Birthday was in August....but I maybe wrong!

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28 Mar 06 - 05:43 PM (#1705021)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: The Fooles Troupe

Today, today, today, today
Today, today is not your birthday!
It isn't the elephant's or the bear's.
It isn't the pickle's or the pear's...
Today, today, today, today
Today, today is not your birthday!

Here are the Crazy frog lyrics, so you can sing along:

A ding ding ding ding dididing ding bing bing pscht,
Dorhrm bom bom bedom bem bom bedom bom bum ba ba bom bom,
Bouuuuum bom bom bedahm, Bom be barbedarm bedabedabedabeda
Bbrrrrrimm bbrrrrramm bbbrrrrrrrrraammmmm ddddddraammm,
Bah bah baah baah ba wheeeeeee-eeeee-eeeee!

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28 Mar 06 - 06:31 PM (#1705061)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Rapparee

You needn't cry,
You needn't soffer --
Just say "Happy Birthday"
To ol' Joe Offer.

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28 Mar 06 - 06:35 PM (#1705068)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Dead Horse

Now now. You folks know that Joe dont like them thar birthday threads!
And a very happy unbirthday to you too.

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28 Mar 06 - 06:35 PM (#1705069)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Peace

01001000011000010111000001110000

01111001001000000100001001101001

01110010011101000110100001100100

01100001011110010010110000100000

01001010011011110110010100101110

(It reads, "Happy Birthday, Joe.")

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28 Mar 06 - 06:44 PM (#1705079)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: kytrad (Jean Ritchie)

Glorious Birthday, Joe- whenever it is...
PS: Joe, why not set up an online Mudcat calendar with everyone's birthdays on it? That way we could acknowledge the ones we wish to by sending personal messages. I always love my birthday wishes on Mudcat, but feel somewhat guilty about taking up the space, year by year!   Best to you and yours,   Jean

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28 Mar 06 - 06:46 PM (#1705081)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: SINSULL

A very happy unbirthday to you
To me? To you...

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28 Mar 06 - 07:02 PM (#1705087)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Bert

Aw ya Bugger Peace, Ya know Joe don't speak binary *GRIN*

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28 Mar 06 - 07:09 PM (#1705090)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Peace

I gave the translation.

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28 Mar 06 - 07:21 PM (#1705095)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Bill D

I wonder how long it would take Shambles to object if Joe censored his own birthday thread? ☺

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28 Mar 06 - 07:26 PM (#1705098)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Beer

Yes, a very happy birthday.
Beer

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28 Mar 06 - 07:32 PM (#1705104)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Tinker

Got to add in a Great Day wish no matter if it'a near the day of your birth or not...

Love Ya

tinker

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28 Mar 06 - 07:49 PM (#1705116)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Severn

Happy birthday!

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28 Mar 06 - 08:00 PM (#1705123)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: number 6

I hear it's yer birthday ... then Happy Birthday to ya Joe.

sIx

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28 Mar 06 - 11:08 PM (#1705246)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Joe Offer

Well, Khandu is going to be upset, since he has proclaimed himself the official Keeper of the Joe Offer Birthday threads. There is a list of birthdays - under Mudcat Photos. It says that Joe Offer was born sometime in August, 1948 - as far as I know, there are only two Mudcatters who know exactly when in August...

There was a night at a pub in Goole in Yorkshire, when I revealed to a number of Mudcatters that my birthday was approximately in the middle of August. It was that awful British beer that made me reveal that much, but I did have enough self-control and sobriety not to reveal the exact date.

But, gee, thanks for the good wishes, anyhow.

-Joe- HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WHENEVER IT COMES, JOE. I wonder if Shambles will cut and paste this as an example of abuse of power by clones. Mick

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28 Mar 06 - 11:39 PM (#1705274)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Bert

1948, Aw, you're just a young pup. Lot's more of 'em guy.

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28 Mar 06 - 11:46 PM (#1705283)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: khandu

DAMMITALLTOHELL!!!!!

I HAVE CREATED A TRADITION OF HARASSING JOE OFFER (who, btw, is no Igmo!!) ON THE FIRST MINUTE OF THE FIRST HOUR OF THE FIRST DAY OF AUGUST, WITH HIS HAPPY BIRTHMONTH THREAD!!!!!!!!! ASK...YEA, ASK FOR YOURSELF FROM JOE OFFER IS THIS NOT TRUE! YET YOU USURP MY POSITION!! I AM AGHAST!!! AGHAST, I SAY!!

THIS IS AN INSULT TO MY ROYAL ROBES, CROWN AND THRONE!!!

It saddens me that now I must consider the possibility and probability that the Ethereal Kingdom of Mississippi must enforce sanctions against Bert until an appropriate reply has been received.

Tis a hard and lonely thing, being King.

King khandu

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28 Mar 06 - 11:51 PM (#1705288)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: khandu

Oh, BTW, Bill D, Joe Offer did somewhat diddle with his own birthmonth thread, moving it from its appropriate place above the line to the accursed BS section!!

True, it was a music thread (see "The Joe Offer Music Thread")
but he thought not!

However, it did not effect the Glorious Celebration that followed!!

Looking forward to August!!

Kk

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29 Mar 06 - 12:22 AM (#1705312)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Barry Finn

Doesn't this belong in the BS section? Oh! Happy Birthday Joe
LOL
Barry

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29 Mar 06 - 04:37 AM (#1705433)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: gnu

Ah, but Bert made you post to a NOT-Birthday thread. Well worth the effort. Bravo Bert.

In any case, have a very happy day, Joe.

And, in case I miss your Birthday thread in August, have a very happy Birthmonth.

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29 Mar 06 - 07:42 AM (#1705518)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Georgiansilver

Joe...Happy Birthday for August...just in case I miss it them. Best wishes, Mike.

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29 Mar 06 - 08:18 AM (#1705539)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: freda underhill

happy day, Joe!

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29 Mar 06 - 08:56 AM (#1705570)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Big Mick

HERE

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29 Mar 06 - 10:53 AM (#1705665)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Alba

I would wish you a happy Birthday Joe, but I know you are not very fond of Birthday Threads...so..I will give you the 'Have a nice Day Joe Offer' post instead.

Have a nice Day Joe Offer, go on, you've earned it, spoil yourself like it WAS your BIRTHDAY:)
Best Wishes
Jude

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29 Mar 06 - 10:59 AM (#1705669)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Emma B

Joe you have finally achieved the status of royalty! A real birthday (whenever) and now an "official" one too :)

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29 Mar 06 - 11:25 AM (#1705689)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: fat B****rd

Enjoy every sandwich, Joe, as Mr. Zevon said.

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29 Mar 06 - 11:30 AM (#1705694)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: ranger1

Merry unbirthday to you!

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29 Mar 06 - 11:50 AM (#1705710)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Bert

I'm so very, humbly sorry Khandu. I just thought that Joe needed a happy day; you can give him another one in August.

Have a happy day Joe, Oh sorry that was yesterday, so have another one anyway.

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29 Mar 06 - 12:16 PM (#1705725)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: GUEST,bbc at work

(smug) I'm one who's in the know (& I'll take the secret to my grave!). Good wishes later, Joe!

love,

barbara

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29 Mar 06 - 12:19 PM (#1705726)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: karen k

Happy unbirthday, Joe and many more. Hope to see you in Nov.

karen

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29 Mar 06 - 12:24 PM (#1705730)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: MMario

In honour of Joe's non-birthday I post here a story - replete with typos as it is: (obviously 'Joe Otter' should be 'Joe Offer' and "billy Mink' I believe to be a type for "big Mick'

Little Joe Otter's Slippery Slide (T. W. Burgess)

Little Joe Otter and Billy Mink had been playing together around the Smiling Pool all one sunshiny morning. They had been fishing and had taken home a fine dinner of Trout for old Grandfather Mink and blind old Granny Otter. They had played tag with the Merry Little Breezes. They had been in all kinds of mischief and now they just didn't know what to do.

They were sitting side by side on the Big Rock trying to push each other off into the Smiling Pool. Round, smiling red Mr. Sun made the Green Meadows very warm indeed, and Reddy Fox, over in the tall grass, heard them splashing and shouting and having such a good time that he wished he liked the nice cool water and could swim, too.

"I've thought of something!" cried Little Joe Otter.

"What is it?" asked Billy Mink.

Little Joe Otter just looked wise and said nothing.

"Something to eat?" asked Billy Mink.

"No," said Little Joe Otter.

"I don't believe you've a thought of anything at all," said Billy Mink.

"I have too!" said Little Joe Otter. "It's something to do."

"What?" demanded Billy Mink.

Just then Little Joe Otter spied Jerry Muskrat. "Hi, Jerry Muskrat! Come over here!" he called.

Jerry Muskrat swam across to the Big Rock and climbed up beside Billy Mink and Little Joe Otter.

"What are you fellows doing?" asked Jerry Muskrat.

"Having some fun," said Billy Mink. "Little Joe Otter has thought of something to do, but I don't know what it is."

"Let's make a slide," cried Little Joe Otter.

"You show us how," said Billy Mink.

So Little Joe Otter found a nice smooth place on the bank, and Billy Mink and Jerry Muskrat brought mud and helped him pat it down smooth until they had the loveliest slippery slide in the world. Then Little Joe Otter climbed up the bank to the top of the slippery slide and lay down flat on his stomach. Billy Mink gave a push and away he went down, down the slippery slide, splash into the Smiling Pool. Then Jerry Muskrat tried it and after him Billy Mink. Then all did it over again. Sometimes they went down the slippery slide on their backs, sometimes flat on their stomachs, sometimes head first, sometimes feet first. Oh such fun as they did have! Even Grandfather Frog came over and tried the slippery slide.

Johnny Chuck, over in the Green Meadows, heard the noise and stole down the Lone Little Path to see. Jimmy Skunk, looking for beetles up on the hill, heard the noise and forgot that he hadn't had his breakfast. Reddy Fox, taking a nap, woke up and hurried over to watch the fun. Last of all came Peter Rabbit.

Little Joe Otter saw him coming. "Hello, Peter Rabbit!" he shouted. "Come and try the slippery slide."

Now Peter Rabbit couldn't swim, but he pretended that he didn't want to.

"I've left my bathing suit at home," said Peter Rabbit.

"Never mind," said Billy Mink. "Mr. Sun will dry you off."

"And we'll help," said all the Merry Little Breezes of Old Mother West Wind.

But Peter Rabbit shook his head and said, "No."

Faster and faster went Billy Mink and Little Joe Otter and Jerry Muskrat and old Grandfather Frog down the slippery slide into the Smiling Pool.

Peter Rabbit kept coming nearer and nearer until finally he stood right at the top of the slippery slide. Billy Mink crept up behind him very softly and gave him a push. Peter Rabbit's long legs flew out from under him and down he sat with a thump on the slippery slide. "Oh," cried Peter Rabbit, and tried to stop himself. But he couldn't do it and so away he went down the slippery slide, splash into the Smiling Pool.

"Ha! ha! ha!" laughed Billy Mink.

"Ho! ho! ho!" shouted Little Joe Otter.

"He! he! he!" laughed Jerry Muskrat and old Grandfather Frog and Sammy Jay and Jimmy Skunk and Reddy Fox and Blacky the Crow and Mr. Kingfisher, for you know Peter Rabbit was forever playing jokes on them.

Poor Peter Rabbit! The water got in his eyes and up his nose and into his mouth and made him choke and splutter, and then he couldn't get back on the bank, for you know Peter Rabbit couldn't swim.

When Little Joe Otter saw what a dreadful time Peter Rabbit was having he dove into the Smiling Pool and took hold of one of Peter Rabbit's long ears. Billy Mink swam out and took hold of the other long ear. Jerry Muskrat swam right under Peter Rabbit and took him on his back. Then with old Grandfather Frog swimming ahead they took Peter Rabbit right across the Smiling Pool and pulled him out on the grassy bank, where it was nice and warm. All the Merry Little Breezes of Old Mother West Wind came over and helped Mr. Sun dry Peter Rabbit off.

Then they all sat down together and watched Little Joe Otter turn a somersault down the slippery slide

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29 Mar 06 - 01:12 PM (#1705761)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Joe Offer

"Ho! ho! ho!" shouted Little Joe Offer.

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29 Mar 06 - 09:48 PM (#1706171)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: GUEST,khandu

My Fellow MudCatteers;

No, it was nothing on the scale of, say, the Bay of Pigs, or even the Bloomer, Arkansas Fiasco of 1972, but a dreadful calamity has been averted by Bert!

I am thankful to Bert for his quick action in offering his word of Peace to the Crown of Mississippi. The Crown accepts it gladly.

But, all ye others, be forewarned...the Joe Offer Birthmonth is not a toy to be trifled with! It is a serious Statewide Celebratory Event and we shall not stand for any cowsplatter concerning it! We will act swiftly and vehemently!

I do hope yesterday was a very good day for Sir Joe Offer, First Duck of Pelahatchie. But August is his BIRTHMONTH!!!

Kk

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29 Mar 06 - 10:45 PM (#1706204)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Bee-dubya-ell

Mmario, that was such a sweet little story! The only thing that would have made it better would be if we got to skin and barbecue all the little critters when it was over.

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30 Mar 06 - 01:23 AM (#1706285)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: skarpi

well that´ll be the day , everyday can be birthdays !
Happy birthday Joe , sorry it´s a little late .

all the best Skarpi Iceland.

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30 Mar 06 - 12:39 PM (#1706743)
Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Joe Offer
From: Donuel

Happy birthday Joe Offer.

I will dedicate my current New Age piece to you.

It is entitled Improvisation on an explosive device.

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