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How Many Folkies Does It Take...

10 Feb 99 - 05:55 AM (#57956)
Subject: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: dwditty

Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'


We should be able to come up with some original thoughts here. For example:

How many folkies does it take to change a lightbulb?
About 100. One to "turn,turn,turn" the lightbulb and the rest to support the cause.

Who's next?


10 Feb 99 - 06:30 AM (#57958)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: AndyG

I beleive the canonical list sets the "official" answer at
Six: One to change the bulb and five to sing the praises of the old one.

However I always felt that the six would each go and video someone else change a bulb, then copy that method, then show the method to each other, then discuss the society and traditions which resulted in each method,agreed social deciding eventually which method best reflected commonly needs. Then they would contribute enough money each to pay a contempory electrician to do it in his own way!

AndyG


10 Feb 99 - 06:36 AM (#57959)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: AndyG

Apparently there's still some sort of problem submitting postings. The above post has lost a line, and should read;

I beleive the canonical list sets the "official" answer at
Six: One to change the bulb and five to sing the praises of the old one!

However I always felt that the six would each go and video someone else change a bulb, then copy that method, then show the method to each other, then discuss the society and traditions which resulted in each method, deciding eventually which method best reflected commonly agreed social needs. Then they would contribute enough money each to pay a contempory electrician to do it in his own way!

AndyG


10 Feb 99 - 08:06 AM (#57965)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Ireland O'Reilly

I'd actually heard it as:

How many folkies does it take to change a bulb? Two. One to change the bulb and one to write a song about how good the old bulb was.


10 Feb 99 - 09:57 AM (#57976)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Barbara

Six, one to change it and 5 to complain they liked the old one better; or 5 to complain that it's electric.


10 Feb 99 - 11:00 AM (#57983)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Bert

Three men, Two men, One man and his dog.....


10 Feb 99 - 11:03 AM (#57985)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Alice

this old man, he changed one, twisting 'tween his finger and thumb

alice


10 Feb 99 - 11:15 AM (#57986)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From:

To hell with the bulb, let 'em sing in the dark !


10 Feb 99 - 12:07 PM (#57991)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Barbara

That sounds like that line in the Bob Franke song,
"..poets used to hang around in poet bars,
but their hands would start to wander
and the party would break up too soon
Till someone thought to give them all guitars"


10 Feb 99 - 09:11 PM (#58071)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Bill D

folkies (like me-*grin*) don't dispose of the old light bulbs! I have 6 genuine WW2 blackout bulbs, coated with a black plastic except for a small open circle at the tip..(the instructions specified how far apart they were allowed to be places in hallways and that they should always point down)....I guess after 50 years, they are now 'traditional', huh?


13 Feb 99 - 10:50 AM (#58416)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: a percussionist

oh wow, you mean it is dark, man?


14 Feb 99 - 12:05 AM (#58511)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: gargoyle

To quote an old "wurzel song."

What do we want with a light?
In the dark we can handle aright!
If they had one when,
Our dads were young men ,br> Some of us wouldn't be here tonight!

The song was in reference to the local commotion strirred-up of putting a light-bulb in a shelter for the bus stop.


14 Feb 99 - 03:16 PM (#58572)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Art Thieme

How many to screw in a lightbulb?

TWO

But how did the 2 of 'em get in there?


14 Feb 99 - 05:44 PM (#58591)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Teresa

Art, hope they had condoms. ... Oops! Teresa


27 Jan 00 - 03:45 PM (#169260)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: momnopp

Thanks to Max's wonderful search engine, I can pull up an old, moldy thread and I don't have to start a new one!!

My boss sent me this one; it didn't originally say "mudcatters" though, but in light of recent mumblings, it seems only fit that I post it. Just for a bit of perspective that we are not alone. . .

Q: How many (internet mail list subscribers) mudcatters does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 1,331:

1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed. 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently. 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs. 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs. 53 to flame the spell checkers. 156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list. 41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames. 109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb. 203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped. 111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts **are** relevant to this mail list. 306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty. 27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs. 14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs. 3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list. 33 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add "Me Too." 12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversey. 19 to quote the "Me Too's" to say, "Me Three." 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ. 1 to propose new alt.change.lite.bulb newsgroup. 47 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was meant for, leave it here. 143 votes for alt.lite.bulb.

Cheers,

JudyO


27 Jan 00 - 03:59 PM (#169266)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: katlaughing

JudyO, that is brilliant and fits to a "T"! Thanks!


27 Jan 00 - 04:12 PM (#169273)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Roger in Baltimore

Gee Judy,

And here I thought I had found this "unique" site.

Roger in Baltimore


27 Jan 00 - 04:13 PM (#169274)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)

Six to sing and play Candles in the rain, Six to light more candles. One to change the light bulb, one to sing the shanty to Heave and Haul away the old one; and six to join in the chorus. + Max to supervise the additions to the Mudcat songbook which of course Aine will do... Total 22 not including the audience of 250 Mudcatters. Yours,( conservatively ) Aye. Dave


27 Jan 00 - 04:27 PM (#169285)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Amos

Well, a couple have to sing the harmony -- one a broken tenor, the other a problematic bass - to the tunes about how light bulbs are changed in (Kentucky, Wyoming, Montana, New Jersey, New England, Nebraska, Old Ireland, old Glasgow, Atlanta, Chicago, Burundi, New HAmpshire, San Pedro, Tivoli) by old (Reilly, Mary, Timmy, Billy, Sammy, Saira, Cindy, Corey, Tommy, Johnny, Bobby, Abdul). Adds at least two, plus the mandolin player.

A.


27 Jan 00 - 04:42 PM (#169292)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Banjer

I don't know about folkies, but give the job to Bluegrass pickers and it would take two, one to change the bulb and the other to complain that it 'Ain't the way Earl did it!


27 Jan 00 - 04:57 PM (#169295)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Max

How many Mudcatters to change a light bulb?

1117

1 to complain that there are too many technical problems to enjoy the Mudcat, with the light being out and all.

Another 1, Me, to change it.

1 to say he knows how I did it.

999 to complain that the Mudcat just isn't the same anymore.

12 to praise me up, down and sideways for my amazing ability to change the bulb.

1 to make a poor and silly joke about light bulbs.

1 to make a lewd comment loosely associated to light bulbs, potatoes or thongs.

8 to say how awful the joke was.

4 to say how offended they are by the lewd comment.

1 to start a healing circle for the poor burnt out light bulb.

3 to chastise the healer for the non-musical nature of the postings.

1 to warn Dick and Susan to find a new place for the Digitrad because Max has to use these commercial light bulbs.

1 to start a new Mudcat franchised Web site about light bulbs.

1 to start a song about it.

7 to add verses to it.

1 to add it to the songbook.

1 to move the picture of the old light bulb to the memoriam section and post a picture of the new light bulb.

and 72 to welcome the new light bulb to the Mudcat.


27 Jan 00 - 05:04 PM (#169297)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: sophocleese

Who starts the "Happy Birthday New Light Bulb" thread then Max?


27 Jan 00 - 05:11 PM (#169303)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Amos

I think the dirge for the old one has already been written, back in the 1920's:

Mazda's in the cold cold ground.

A.


27 Jan 00 - 05:14 PM (#169304)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Max

OK, make that 1118, we have to have the birthday thread.


27 Jan 00 - 05:37 PM (#169310)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: sophocleese

Actually we could make it 1111, seven of the last 72 postings were repeats of 'This Little Light of Mine".

I don't think Joe should have posted a link to recipe for Hot Buttered Rum when the temp. here is -15 Celsius before the wind chill; I'm feeling quite warm now.


27 Jan 00 - 07:36 PM (#169395)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: kendall

before 'spaw posts it.. what's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can UNSCREW a light bulb.


27 Jan 00 - 07:52 PM (#169403)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: catspaw49

MAX me lad ... THAT is the funniest thing I've ever heard from you....Really great!!!!! Seriously, and I rarely am, that was well stroked! I'd take my hat off to you, but you already seem to have it hanging from your lap. (Mandatory Lewd Joke).....Now where's Father Joebro to bitch at me about it? Oh well, he'll be along......

FUNNY SH*T MAX...Really!

Spaw


27 Jan 00 - 08:44 PM (#169436)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Caitrin

How many folkies does it take to change a lightbulb?
Change?


27 Jan 00 - 08:52 PM (#169438)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: katlaughing

That was GREAT, MAX! Now, where is that light bulb healing thread??**BG** Oh, since some us will do double duty, i.e. PRAISE YOU TO THE HEAVENS AND start a helaing thread, that might throw your count off, heeheehee!

katlaughingforreal!


27 Jan 00 - 08:57 PM (#169443)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Mbo

My lightbulb's never going to go out! Not if I can help it! "Rage, rage, against the dying of the light..."

--Mbo


27 Jan 00 - 09:28 PM (#169454)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Amos

Tell me how many folkies need to change a light bulb
Before the light bulb stays changed?
AN' how many Mudcats need to add to the list
Before they get home on the range?
And how many answers does one man have to see
Before he can see that they're strange?
The answer, old bloke,
Is just a Mudcat joke!
The answer is just a Mudcat joke.

Yes, an' how many threads must a man run down
Before the Kat makes him grin
AN' how many Possum whistles must ol' SPaw sell
Before possum whistles get him?
An' how many times mus' Mbo be pronounced
Before it begins to sink in?

The answer, old bloke
Is jes' a Mudcat joke!
The answer is just a Mudcat joke!

(Rasp, rasp wheeze wheeze, raw raw)
Kaching kaching G Am Bm D ad infinitum


27 Jan 00 - 09:33 PM (#169455)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Mbo

You're a gem, Amos! This should be in The Mudcat Songbook!

--Mbo


27 Jan 00 - 10:37 PM (#169500)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Amos

You are too kind, Sir MBo. It's there for the taking, 'twas but a triflin' thing that crost my fevered brow before an evening was yet full...whoops, slipped back to the bend in the Western river in 1830 for a sec there... Anyway, it can go to the Songbook an' it whist.

A.


28 Jan 00 - 12:16 AM (#169553)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: katlaughing

Amos! You are indeed a welcome addition. Your postings have been a source of constant delight! (Made ya grin, didn't I?)

katlaughing


28 Jan 00 - 12:44 AM (#169566)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Amos

Yep! Shucks Miss Kat, I feel almos' reg'lar!! Er...well, shucks, thanks, anyway!


28 Jan 00 - 08:32 AM (#169643)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Liz the Squeak

Good one Kendall, that is going to do the rounds!!

LTS, who prefers candles to light bulbs.....

 Kiom di Esperantistoj es necessas por sangi ampolo? Du - uno por sangi ampolo, > and one to translate it into English.

Hope you like it!


28 Jan 00 - 02:09 PM (#169823)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Áine

Well, don't know 'bout the lightbulb, but a little birdie told me about this great song on this thread -- So, Amos, your wondrous work has been added to the Mudcat Songbook!! You can thank Mbo and Max for bringing it to my attention . . . Congratulations! Look under the Thread Song category to find it.

-- Áine


28 Jan 00 - 02:15 PM (#169825)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Amos

Wow! I feel like I'm in the Big Time, where the all the tocks are strong and the ticks are all good-lookin! Thank you, Áine. I am honored. Shucks.


18 Oct 07 - 05:59 PM (#2174003)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: GUEST,Paul

None.
The lightbulb turning dark is just part of the folk process, if you change it you ain't a folkie !


18 Oct 07 - 06:08 PM (#2174011)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: dick greenhaus

Mudcatters not only curse the darkness; they curse the light, too.


18 Oct 07 - 06:19 PM (#2174020)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: redsnapper

202

One to change the bulb and 201 to define exactly what a folkie is...

RS


18 Oct 07 - 07:19 PM (#2174061)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Peace

Dang, redsnapper, now I got nothin' to say.


19 Oct 07 - 04:57 AM (#2174273)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Michael

I hadn't seen this thread before

I think Amos's "Mazda's in the cold cold ground."
Is a classic and will store it for future use.

Mike


19 Oct 07 - 12:10 PM (#2174555)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: open mike

However many it takes, there should be one more to make sure the new
bulb is a compact flourescent energy saving bulb manufactured in the most "green" way by workers who were compensated fairly for their labor
and worked in a place with full spectrum lights designed to dispell
Seasonal Affective Disorder...maybe even fair trade bulbs purchased from a worker owned co-operative where everyone has full health benefits...


19 Oct 07 - 06:29 PM (#2174831)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: deadfrett

...er ...how many politicians does it take to change the bulb ?
Two.. one to tell us " everything that can be done is being done " and one to screw it into the water faucet..

Dave


20 Oct 07 - 09:20 AM (#2175243)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: bankley

one to change the bulb..... and the rest to complain that its too electric


20 Oct 07 - 09:45 AM (#2175256)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Fidjit

Ah the traditional light bulb!

Now was it a source type and is the new one a revivalist?

Chas


20 Oct 07 - 10:13 AM (#2175272)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Neil D

Hey. Shouldn't this light bulb thread be below the line?


20 Oct 07 - 10:18 AM (#2175274)
Subject: RE: How Many Folkies Does It Take...
From: Bill D

1119!, thanks to Neil