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12 May 06 - 12:53 AM (#1738673) Subject: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Cluin How many ways do you know to tie a tie? I had to wear a tie to work today and I've always had a mental block about tying them (I HATE WEARING A TIE!!!). So I had, yet again, to call my Dad to give me a walk-through. Forget those tie-a-tie.com websites. I can't follow those instructions. I always end up with a tie about 6 inches long and a knot the size of Seabiscuit's scrotum with them. I think I've got it now, but I know damn well I'll have forgotten the whole process for next time. This always happens. So... 1. How many versions exist for the Windsor Knot? 2. Why the Flying Philadelphia F__k do we still wear these things? |
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12 May 06 - 12:56 AM (#1738677) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: NH Dave Cluin, Buy a handful of suitable ties. Have your sales person tie them on your shirt. Slip the running end back out far enough to remove the tie from your neck. Keep these pre-tied ties hung neatly with the rest of your working clothes. The ties won't last as long, and you'll have to fight with your cleaners, to keep them from untieing them, but it WILL solve your current problem. Dave |
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12 May 06 - 01:02 AM (#1738679) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: John O'L 1. There are as many ways to tie a Windsor Knot as there are people who wear them, and all of them are wrong. 2. They make you look less of a threat. No-one malicious would wear anything so absurdly trivial and demeaning. OK? Now, do the bastard up the best way you can and go and press that flesh my man, you're lookin' sharp. |
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12 May 06 - 01:03 AM (#1738681) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: CarolC Can't help you much with the your questions. Well, question number two I can... it's a phallic symbol. It helps men feel mighty when they wear a boring old suit. Plus they get to make a statement with the kinds of ties they wear. Helps them to feel all individual-like. But on the subject of your problem... maybe you should get your dad to make a video of himself tying one, and then you can have him tell you how to do it without having to call him. |
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12 May 06 - 01:07 AM (#1738683) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Cluin Carol... Phallic, eh? (you dirty girl!) Then what's with the bow tie? |
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12 May 06 - 01:07 AM (#1738685) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Peace Cluin: Buy a few leather zip-up ties. They have a built-in Windsor knot and they look cool. Just remember that after you use the urinal, it is important not to zip up and tuck in your tie. If you leave the washroom after doing only that, you will raise eyebrows. |
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12 May 06 - 01:08 AM (#1738688) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Cluin And yeah, I know, I could go with a clip-on. But I like to be able to undo that top button, behind the tie (I have a fairly thick neck). Besides, they are lame. |
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12 May 06 - 01:11 AM (#1738689) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Cluin Peace, thanks, but then I'd look like Mr. 1980s. I hate those twerps. |
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12 May 06 - 01:11 AM (#1738690) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Peace Zip-up ties. Some of the patterns could use improvement, but with these you can unbutton the top of your shirt. |
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12 May 06 - 01:12 AM (#1738691) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Peace Hey, pal, if it was good enough for Opie's family, it's good enough for you. |
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12 May 06 - 01:14 AM (#1738692) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Cluin But I need one I can tie around my head later when I get drunk. |
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12 May 06 - 01:16 AM (#1738693) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Peace LOL Instructions for the Windsor knot. |
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12 May 06 - 01:16 AM (#1738694) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Cluin Anmd NH Dave, I've tried that before, but like Rocky said to Bullwinkle... "That trick never works." |
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12 May 06 - 01:17 AM (#1738695) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Cluin Yeah, Peace, that's the page that really buggered me up and almost made me late for work. |
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12 May 06 - 01:18 AM (#1738696) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Peace Dang it. The zipper ties work well for that, too. |
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12 May 06 - 01:18 AM (#1738697) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: CarolC Bow ties are an enigma to me. But Tucker Carlson wears them, and that tells me more than I ever wanted to know about him. ...but if you think about it in visual terms, maybe they represent the other bits. And if that's the case, I guess they might represent a man's need for his colleagues to think he's got big ones. Maybe you should ask Tucker Carlson. |
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12 May 06 - 01:18 AM (#1738698) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Peace LOL |
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12 May 06 - 01:18 AM (#1738699) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Cluin And John O., I can't argue with your answers at all. |
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12 May 06 - 01:19 AM (#1738700) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Peace Cluin, you IDIOT. Use two mirrors and tie the knot behind your back. |
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12 May 06 - 01:20 AM (#1738702) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Peace Do for the tie what Jimi Hendrix did for the electric guitar. |
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12 May 06 - 01:24 AM (#1738703) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Cluin Somebody oughta invent a device to tie your tie for you. But it might be dangerous. |
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12 May 06 - 01:24 AM (#1738704) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Peace Practise these when you're sober . . . You'll be a sailor in no time. |
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12 May 06 - 01:25 AM (#1738705) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Cluin Carol, I don't think bow ties are an enigma. Enigmas are kind of interesting and sexy. No one could ever accuse a bow tie of being either of those things. |
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12 May 06 - 01:28 AM (#1738707) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: CarolC Good point, Cluin. |
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12 May 06 - 01:29 AM (#1738708) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Cluin The Half-English (from Peace's last linked page)... that's the one my Dad learnt me. I like it because it's easy to get it even. Those other ones always come out lopsided. |
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12 May 06 - 01:56 AM (#1738717) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Ebbie Rather than a phallic symbol, I've always thought of them as having the original function of a napkin or gravy drip catcher. Kind of like the protective valance that used to be basted on coverlets so the whole thing wouldn't have to be washed as often - or ever. |
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12 May 06 - 02:09 AM (#1738721) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Cluin Yep. Dropped a bit of lunch (reheated pasta w/bolognese sauce) down my tie. Saved the shirt, I guess. |
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12 May 06 - 02:13 AM (#1738722) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: JohnInKansas Thirty five years ago, the last time I wore a tie, nearly all the then-current crop of ties one could find at retail (Central US, anyway) were too short and too bulky for a true Windsor knot. I really disliked the way most of the half-Windsor knots most people used always pointed a bit askew, no matter how carefully you tied them or often you straightened them. As suggested by some previous comments, a proper tie, if tied with one of the smaller knots, was somewhat at risk in encounters with the zipper on the trousers. I thought once that perhaps the guys did that on purpose, so there'd be an excuse for some SWL to "straighten" them; but I tried and discarded that notion. It never seemed to work for me. John |
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12 May 06 - 02:33 AM (#1738726) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Metchosin Cluin, if you must wear a tie, just undo the top button and loosen the tie and wear it that way. Looks cool and relaxed and nobody can tell if you know how to tie knots properly. Only pencil necked geeks can comfortably tolerate a tie. |
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12 May 06 - 02:39 AM (#1738730) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: John O'L Stand in front of the mirror with your tie around your neck. The thick end should be in your right hand and the thin end in your left hand. In the interest of clarity I will henceforth refer to the thick end as 'T' and the thin end as 't'. After the first phase of tie manipulation (FPTM), we will obviously need to differentiate between the working ends and the original ends, which will still, from time to time, be in play. To this end I will refer to the new working ends as T1 and t1, and after the second phase of tie manipulation (SPTM), T2 and t2. Third phase, T3 and t3 and so on and so forth. You will by now no doubt have noticed that the mirror image has T where t should be and t where T should be. In the interest of clarity, when refering to the mirror image I will of course use T(m), t(m), T1(m), t1(m), and so on and soforth. Now then, flop T over t. Make a cup of tea. This could take a while. |
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12 May 06 - 02:42 AM (#1738731) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Emma B When I was a school girl we had to wear ties - yup it really was that long ago! I wore the same knot for 5 years just unloosened it every night - after I got my dad to tie it for me on the very first day! Now bow ties - mmmm very sexy - just picture a young Sean Connery lazily tying one....oooh I've come over all un-necessary! |
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12 May 06 - 02:52 AM (#1738735) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Dave Hanson Just a note, the Windsor knot is illegal in HM Forces due to it being named after the Duke of Windsor, the King who abdicated and became a nazi sympathising traitor. eric |
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12 May 06 - 03:08 AM (#1738740) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Cluin Emma, luv, I'm as hetero as they come, but even I know Mr. Connery could make a pocket protector and a fright wig look sexy, let alone a bow tie. There's the exception that proves the rule (whatever that means). |
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12 May 06 - 03:38 AM (#1738750) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: John MacKenzie Oh Carol, phallic symbol indeed, sounds more feminist put down than Freudian definition. I was just wondering what Freud would think of a woman enhancing the size of her chest by hanging an accordian over it, and then squeezing it in public! Giok ☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻ |
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12 May 06 - 05:10 AM (#1738799) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: GUEST,Raggytash I have to wear a tie for work, doesn't bother me in the slighest, however if I call for a pint after work I frequently get Ladies commenting how smart someone looks when wearing a tie .... should tell you something lads |
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12 May 06 - 09:00 AM (#1738943) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: artbrooks Four-in-hand knot, otherwise known as "over, under, around, up and through". Tends to leave a lot of excess in longer ties, though. |
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12 May 06 - 09:30 AM (#1738960) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: GUEST,G Cluin, wore a tie daily for 35* years. WIndsor works, just leave the collar button undone until you are ready to slip the knot up. Keeps the collar from turning up at the ends. (had one on last night for a musical event - don't do that too frequently) |
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12 May 06 - 09:36 AM (#1738964) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: DMcG How many versions exist for the Windsor Knot? You may find the answer here - but less than 85, presumably. |
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12 May 06 - 12:54 PM (#1739119) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: GUEST, heric Why in heaven's name tie a windsor unless you are going for a 70's retro look? Four-in-hand of course. Amos expressed a view of ties similar to what John-O said above, and it occurred to me that they are both right. It demonstrates your subservience to the system. That women like them . . I don't know why, unless it is an anachronistic symbol of wealth and status, and hence a matingtrigger. |
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12 May 06 - 01:47 PM (#1739175) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: CarolC Oh Carol, phallic symbol indeed, sounds more feminist put down than Freudian definition. You need to learn to recognize humour, John 'Giok' MacKenzie. |
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12 May 06 - 01:49 PM (#1739178) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: CarolC And Freud was a pervert. |
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12 May 06 - 02:13 PM (#1739200) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Cluin HA! Dress-down day today. In your face, Windsor Knot! |
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12 May 06 - 02:31 PM (#1739222) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: John MacKenzie As do you Carol my whole post was a joke, I'm sorry if irony is a lost cause in some quarters. Giok ☺☻☻☻☺ [Smiley face see, see the smiley face see?] |
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12 May 06 - 02:43 PM (#1739232) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Metchosin Here you go, More about the tie than you'd ever wish to know. |
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12 May 06 - 03:15 PM (#1739252) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: catspaw49 Personally I don't like ties although I wore one every working day for about 15 years. My canned response to the tie question was, "No, I don't like them but I like where they point." Spaw |
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12 May 06 - 04:25 PM (#1739320) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: CarolC Good one, John 'Giok' MacKenzie. You got me. But my Freud comment was humourous, even though I think it's the truth. |
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12 May 06 - 05:34 PM (#1739353) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Teribus I've never known why the knot is named after the Duke of Windsor, because he never used it. His ties were specially made with thicker cloth in order to produce a wider knot when tied with the conventional four in hand knot. |
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12 May 06 - 07:04 PM (#1739391) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Peace CLUIN: Yer problem is solved. Easy directions. However, I don't know what it says in semaphore, so watch out. |
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12 May 06 - 11:46 PM (#1739571) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: GUEST,Joe_F We were a Freudian family, but, oddly, I never heard that neckties were phallic symbols. I did learn that if someone gave you a necktie as a gift, it meant he wished you would hang yourself. --- Joe Fineman joe_f@verizon.net ||: They have the fun, and we have the baby. :|| |
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12 May 06 - 11:58 PM (#1739574) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: CarolC I've been thinking about this since yesterday... I think if a man were to wear both a bow tie, as well as a neck tie (both at the same time), I think that would make a hell of a statement. |
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13 May 06 - 12:51 AM (#1739590) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Peace If that's all he was wearing, I'd agree with you, Carol. |
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13 May 06 - 04:19 AM (#1739654) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Gurney How many ways to tie a windsor knot? Just one, the same number as a reef knot. I only know three knots to tie a necktie, and I'll wear a tie for weddings and funerals. |
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13 May 06 - 07:29 AM (#1739711) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Cluin That's the one, Peace. Even I can get it right with that one. |
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13 May 06 - 07:41 AM (#1739715) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Cluin A statement, Carol? Yes. Especially with the accompanying fright wig, round rubber nose, big shoes and a car horn. The statement would be, "Guess what time it is, Kids!" How about one of those thin ribbon Col Sanders ties? The statement there is "Oh, you're gonna buy me chicken! Ohhhhh!" |
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13 May 06 - 02:55 PM (#1740047) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Peace Have a few beers and then do this one. |
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13 May 06 - 02:57 PM (#1740048) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Peace "That f___in' Windsor Knot!" HEY, Cluin, there IS no f in Windsor Knot. |
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13 May 06 - 03:12 PM (#1740062) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: freda underhill it all started in China.. I heard that a few years ago, some European designers tried to get men to move on from wearing neckties, because both the ties and the flappy collars they're worn with are so daggy. But businessmen were conservative and too scared to change - we may have to put up with thzem for millenia! |
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13 May 06 - 03:14 PM (#1740063) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: freda underhill (the neckties, that is!) :-) |
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18 May 06 - 01:41 AM (#1742901) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Cluin My dad gave me a present today..... a zip-up tie. |
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18 May 06 - 03:38 AM (#1742921) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: John MacKenzie 'daggy' Freda, I know what it means, but it may puzzle others who don't speak Strine! Giok |
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19 May 06 - 12:34 AM (#1743674) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Peace "My dad gave me a present today..... a zip-up tie." Well, do you look SNAZZY? |
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15 Jun 06 - 05:20 PM (#1760954) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: CarolC Hey Cluin.... Here's a video that shows how to tie a four-in-hand knot. Do you think you would find this video helpful if you needed to learn how to tie this kind of knot? http://alcdv.com/Movie_Tie_L.html |
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19 Jun 06 - 05:48 PM (#1764030) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: CarolC yoo hoo... Oh, yooou hooo... Anybody home? |
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20 Jun 06 - 04:42 AM (#1764412) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Liz the Squeak My mum used to make Bridport neckties.... she worked in the rope factory that supplied the UK prisons with rope for hangings. At Bridport in Dorset, rope & netmaking have been the major industry since the 13th Century but since the death penalty was repealed in the 1960s, their most famous products are the nets for Wimbledon Tennis tournaments. Todays useless information brought to you by LTS |
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20 Jun 06 - 08:33 AM (#1764527) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: David C. Carter I think the 'Windsor Knot'was what the people at the time of his abdication,would have liked to have used to strangle him with!Hence the name. D. |
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20 Jun 06 - 06:55 PM (#1765032) Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot! From: Liz the Squeak As opposed to the Windsor Nit... Edward. LTS |
