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BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...

03 Jun 06 - 09:56 PM (#1752466)
Subject: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Bobert

Well, I'm usre I'm gonna get strung up fir this one but before someone else finds out and blows my covers I'm goin' on the confessioal block right here and now...

The P-Vine's '91 Camry atation wagon with 200K miles on it has decided, among other ailment, that it doesn't want to make cool air... Yeah, the air conditionaer has craped out and, well, seein' as we live in the mountains I figured that it was time fir a newer car so I bought a 2004 Honda CR-V with all-wheel-drive....

Techniclly this is a SUV but it get's 23/28 MPG... We looked at the Prius hybrid that gets 44/61 but figured it wouldn't get up the 1/2 mile driveway in the winter so I narrowed it down between the Toyota Highlander and the CR-V and the CR-V won out...

There, I have confessed... I am an SUV owner... Oh, the shame...

Bobert


03 Jun 06 - 09:59 PM (#1752467)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: The Fooles Troupe

Bend over and take yer whupin'!!!


03 Jun 06 - 10:03 PM (#1752469)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Ebbie

LOL It certainly is sad to have your covers blown.


03 Jun 06 - 10:11 PM (#1752471)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: John O'L

So, does this mean you won't be posting here any more? Does this mean you'll tidy up your language, buy a new hat and join some string ensemble website? Does this mean you'll be selling your guitar and buying a piano...(and I don't mean one of those coarse tuneless ugly things known to the coarse ugly and tuneless as an "upright")?


03 Jun 06 - 10:13 PM (#1752472)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Bobert

Well, Eb, at least I blew my own covers... Man, I would have hated it if one of these righteous GUEST's had sniffed it out and done it...

This is bad enough...

Oh, the shame...

But, hey, when the P-Vine returns from North Carolina, where she is off havin' a nervous breakdown 'er one of the women things, there will an almost new shiny Honda waitin' her...

Bobert

p.s. No questions about the P-Vine's mental state, please... Thems is perhaps fir another thread down the road... Long down the road...


03 Jun 06 - 10:21 PM (#1752474)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: The Fooles Troupe

"down the road... Long down the road... "

Ease On Down The Road...

Yeah man, just loved the movie "The Wiz" (had Michael Jackson as The Scarecrow!)

never saw the Broadway Show though...


03 Jun 06 - 10:27 PM (#1752476)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Rapparee

Slumlord, SUV owner, bloated plutocrat gouging the workers and watering their beer....

Oh, wait, my wife has an Element.

Nemind.


03 Jun 06 - 10:30 PM (#1752477)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: frogprince

Can we really forgive something this heinous, just because the perp comes whining and confessing with his hat twisted in his hands...


03 Jun 06 - 10:39 PM (#1752480)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Rapparee

I dunno...tar and feathers? Make him carry a 40 pound candle from the Capitol to the National Catherdal, stopping to pour ashes on his sackcloth every so often?

Well, he didn't buy a Yukon or an Expedition. And knowing the territoy where he lives, well, maybe he has an excuse.

Bobert, I hereby sentence you to buy the beer!


03 Jun 06 - 10:49 PM (#1752487)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: The Fooles Troupe

Now look what you started Bobert...

BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...   
BS: Suddenly Britain has a knife culture


03 Jun 06 - 10:59 PM (#1752497)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Bobert

Hey, first of all, okay, I carry a box-cutter in my left sock but that fir the many duct-tapin's I have had to undure over at Tweedsblues... Hey, couple night duct taped to the park bench 'ill get Mother Teresa carrin'a box cutter..

..but I didn't have nuthin' to do with the current UK thing... Really... I jus' use mine to cut the duct tape after everybody has gone home and it's dark and cold...

As fir the more important question about the piano... Ahhhh, the P-Vine likes her digital and I still like my 1908 pedal oragn so, no, we're stickin' with what we got....

Oh, the shame...

Bobert


03 Jun 06 - 11:10 PM (#1752504)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: The Fooles Troupe

Bobert - NOW what you done?

"couple nights duct taped to the park bench 'ill get Mother Teresa carrin' a box cutter"

BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...   
BS: Jesus as mythic god like Zeus


03 Jun 06 - 11:40 PM (#1752516)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Bobert

Hey, Fooles-t, no reason draggin' Jesus into this thing... He sho nuff gonna have to take me a side fir a little talk they way it is...

Oh, the shame....


04 Jun 06 - 12:02 AM (#1752530)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Rapparee

Nah, Jesus is cool with you gettin' the P-vine an SUV, especially since it gets decent gas mileage. But he's really, really hacked off with them folks who buy something like an Expedition and live in DC er somewhere. I know, 'cuz I asked him about it and he told me, "Ol' Bobert's cool an' I'm cool with what he went an' did. Good thing he didn't get her a Suburban er something like that, though, or I'd be hacked off with him, too."


04 Jun 06 - 12:56 AM (#1752547)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: dianavan

Thats O.K. Bobert. You and the P-Vine got to get up and down that driveway somehow but if you still want to be amongst the righteous, you must park your car and take the sky train or the subway or the bus into town. While in the city, you should use public transit.

If you do this, you will get to heaven.


04 Jun 06 - 01:02 AM (#1752549)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: John O'L

So the insurance inventory already includes a digital keyboard, a 1908 pedal organ, an SUV, and...I shudder to think.

Well may you cry 'Oh the shame'


04 Jun 06 - 01:04 AM (#1752550)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: artbrooks

Let me know how you like it...we've been considering buying a CR-V ourselves. We can haul a lot of stuff in the Blazer, but the gas mileage sucks.


04 Jun 06 - 04:26 AM (#1752593)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: freda underhill

Those cars were built to be used exactly for that, Bobert, for driving up & down cliffs, along rocky roads & insurmountable paths - all those people in the city that use them to drive to the tennis club, they're the ones that should be feeling penitent.

One of the most beautiful places I've ever been to (Winjana Gorge in the Kimberleys, WA, Australia) was by courtesy of being driven in one of those things - nothing else could get through to it.

freda


04 Jun 06 - 07:17 AM (#1752631)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: The Fooles Troupe

Look Bobert, just stop it!

BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...   
BS: Amusing Beer Names


04 Jun 06 - 07:23 AM (#1752635)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: The Fooles Troupe

BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...   
BS: Suddenly Britain has a knife culture

Sigh...


04 Jun 06 - 07:51 AM (#1752645)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: GUEST

No problem here with a vehicle that probably should be called a large station wagon.

My concern is so many people sitting at home on a Saturday evening leering at the computer. What's up with that? Nothing wrong with "going out among them" and supporting a local music scene, is there?


04 Jun 06 - 08:00 AM (#1752647)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: John MacKenzie

That's if you have a local music scene!
G.


04 Jun 06 - 08:02 AM (#1752649)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Bobert

I agree wid that sediment, GUEST...

Matter o' fact, the CR-V an' I took our first trip yesterday up to the Washington Folk Festival where I performed a little Bobertized blues and met Catter Severn fir the first time an' saw both Rita and BillD in the crafts fair...

As fir Saturday nights??? Niether me or the P-Vine do night drivin' too good...

Yeah, Dianavan, I'll take public transportaion when I can... When I go to D.C. fir anythin other than playing blues at Archie Edwards Barber Shop which ain't need tyhe subway, I take the subway in from Viena, Va... Saves gas, hassels and time...

Bobert


04 Jun 06 - 08:12 AM (#1752656)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: bobad

Guess I'll have to go out and buy more sunscreen now.


04 Jun 06 - 08:15 AM (#1752658)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: GUEST

Agreed G. And my first ever 'props' for bobert. A long time coming and God only knows how long to wait for the next one. (Don't hold your breath)

But, using public transportation and being sensible about the night driving problem is good!

There, I said it - wasn't too difficult - but will go take a couple Aspirin as a precautionary measure.


04 Jun 06 - 08:20 AM (#1752661)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Bobert

You don't look too good, GUEST... Maybe you should lay down fir awhile...


04 Jun 06 - 06:35 PM (#1752964)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: The Fooles Troupe

So you started taking long trips now, Bobert?

BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
BS: Football World Cup 2006


04 Jun 06 - 07:14 PM (#1752976)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Bobert

Ahhhhh, fooles-t, if you consider a trip to DC a "long trip" then, yeah... Hey, this so-called SUV ain't got as much room as the P-Vine's ol' 91 Camry station wagon... Ahhhhh, strike that... The ol' Camry station wagon once controled by the P-Vine but, ha, that baby's mine now... Gonna put all my tools in the back of it and generally "male-ize" the thing... You know, spit cup in the cup holder... Few empty Iron City beer cans unner the seat... Maybe a "Gophers Need Love" bumper sticker... You know, all the important things than guys do...


04 Jun 06 - 07:21 PM (#1752978)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: The Fooles Troupe

Twin Overhead Foxtails?


04 Jun 06 - 07:27 PM (#1752983)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Rapparee

Big fuzzy dice on the rear-view mirror? A license plate surround of nekkid women? A gun rack? Bobert, the mind boggles.


04 Jun 06 - 08:45 PM (#1753025)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: artbrooks

A W/04 bumper sticker?


04 Jun 06 - 08:53 PM (#1753033)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Rapparee

A gun rack surrounded by nekkid women holding a "Bush/Cheney in 04" sticker?


04 Jun 06 - 09:13 PM (#1753041)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Amos

And one on the side window that says "This vehicle Insured by Smith&Wesson"....


A


04 Jun 06 - 09:22 PM (#1753046)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Stilly River Sage

Better leave that old one available for P-Vine occasionally--chances are with a new vehicle she won't want to get the inside dirty with plants and potting soil right away. Leave the old one for that a little while longer.

SRS


04 Jun 06 - 09:39 PM (#1753050)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Bobert

Firget it, SRS.... We guys have our plans fir the Camry that don't involve no womenz-folk-people-persons...

Don't we, guys...

Yeah, we gonns bring in an axhortist and exhort all the womenz outta that Toyoteeer and then we gonna have our way wid it...

Hey, we get so few pleasures that just once in a while... it's our turn...

PARTY!!!!!!

Fuzzy dice... Oh, a must....


04 Jun 06 - 09:49 PM (#1753057)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Willie-O

I knew a guy who had on old Toyota wagon that had treated him badly (an early 70's model when they weren't the marvels they later became). When the time finally came to take it off the road, he peeled the roof off like a giant sardine can and used the thing to haul cedar logs from the back 40...got all his revenge on it. I think later, after it quit running, the back of it got used for an outhouse pit...(outhouse on a rock type design)--lift the hatch and clean it out once a year. Hmm I think I smell something.


05 Jun 06 - 10:46 AM (#1753306)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: GUEST,Chairman of Toyota Motors

Did you try to drive the Prius up your drive way?
I suspect you simply made an impulsive decision based upon poor or no evidence.


05 Jun 06 - 10:48 AM (#1753309)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Stilly River Sage

Driving up a driveway in spring isn't the same as driving up the driveway in ice and snow. I've seen those little tuna-can-sized Priuses. Do you know something about the laws of physics and tiny cars carrying loads on slick long driveways that Bobert doesn't, Mr/Ms Chairman?


05 Jun 06 - 11:32 AM (#1753334)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: number 6

I guess you can just leave the old Camry wagon out in your front yard, to rust, weeds growing around it, smashed windows ... you know, create that old redneck country living ambiance.

sIx


05 Jun 06 - 11:38 AM (#1753338)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Rapparee

Bobert, about that Camry. I got just two words:

HUNTING CAR!

Yeah! And fishin', too! Sling a dead carp under the seat, spread a little "Doe In Heat" deer attractant around the back seat, put some of them plastic worms in the glove compartment...dang man, you'd have it all iffen you rip off one of the fenders and hook the headlight up with duct tape.


05 Jun 06 - 04:45 PM (#1753503)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Richard Bridge

Land Rover.


05 Jun 06 - 04:47 PM (#1753508)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Richard Bridge

Diesel for economy.

Earplugs for the hearing.

No point in rushing, they don't (except for the V8s)

Very durable so the energy costs of replacement are largely reduced.


05 Jun 06 - 07:58 PM (#1753652)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: artbrooks

Very very expensive, and not easy to find a diesel Land Rover in the US.


05 Jun 06 - 08:46 PM (#1753681)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: The Fooles Troupe

Get a Hummer.

The Queensland Prisons Dept had several, now disposed of, cost a fortune, and they had to be 'upgraded' with 'armour', just in case the next lots of bad guys were being broken out with other bad guys with guns... again...

Somebody did a really good con job, the damn things were undriveable, and so heavy they bogged... :-)


05 Jun 06 - 09:01 PM (#1753695)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Bobert

Actually the ol' Camry ain't all that hatefull at all... I'm gonna us it a a work vehicle and put the rear seats down and put my tools in her...

Yeah, maybe a couple bumper stickers and moon discs up front with a couple miss-matched Kreager mags and bigass bald tires on the back...

Yeah, that be cool...


05 Jun 06 - 09:08 PM (#1753700)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: The Fooles Troupe

"put my tools in her"

You got got more than one? Didn't think you could pull yourself that stupid with only one...


06 Jun 06 - 12:13 AM (#1753854)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Bob Bolton

OK ...

Should I drop this one in before Foolestroupe gets back?

BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
BS: Disaster/Emergency Movies (serious)

Regard(les)s,

Bob


06 Jun 06 - 04:49 AM (#1753946)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work

Bobert perhaps you could trick out the Camry with a flame paint job and BIG air scoop on the hood. Should turn the quarter in under several minutes!!

Not sure about the moon discs tho unless you're gonna run her on the salt.

On second thoughts, stick with the shame.


06 Jun 06 - 07:33 AM (#1754003)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Bobert

I waz thinkin' 'bout flamin' the danged thing, M-gulay... It's stiall a possibilty... I'll see what I have left in the budget after the mismatched Kragers and big ass baldies... As fir hood scoops, hey, I don't live close 'nuff to North Carolina fir 'um to be fully appreciated... The boyz 'round here jus take their hoods off so ther motor gets washed when it rains... Nuthin' like a clean motor...


06 Jun 06 - 08:35 AM (#1754023)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work

Bobert, if you was living near North Carolina you'd have to have both those big ass baldies on the right hand side fer getting round those tight oval turns. Make it kinda interesting driving on the freeway tho and you'd have to park on a hill to keep the junk from sliding off the dashboard.

PS: Don't forget the Confederate flag for the radio aerial and a whole pile of Coors cans in the trunk. Way to go!!


06 Jun 06 - 08:42 AM (#1754029)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: artbrooks

...rifle rack...gotta have a rifle rack.


06 Jun 06 - 08:45 AM (#1754031)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Rapparee

Lowrider.

Turn 'er into a lowrider. Sure, it'd be tough, replacing the muffler and stuff every time you drive even the paved roads down there, but think of the COOL!!


06 Jun 06 - 10:43 AM (#1754120)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work

Sure would be COOL with the floor pan ripped away. Turn it into a highrider even with 12 inch long spring hangers on the back. No need for a snowplough in winter especially if you rip out the engine and slot in a real big hemi. Hey, I just invented the first Camry funny car/plough. Rifle rack, nah, bolt on a couple a .5 machine guns instead for that real macho "hunter" look.


06 Jun 06 - 11:44 AM (#1754165)
Subject: RE: BS: News Flash! Bobert purchases SUV...
From: Scoville

My brother loves his 1999 CR-V.

My father is waiting in line for one of the new Toyota RAV-4's. He's an mpg junkie who unfortunately often needs to haul things like furniture, large amounts of recyclables, and canoes, that his 1974 VW Beetle just won't handle. The new RAV-4's are bigger but are still rated for up to 30 mpg highway. We're dying to test that out, but they're selling them faster than they can make them so we're still waiting.