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05 Jul 06 - 08:49 PM (#1777208) Subject: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: GUEST,One in the know Hans-Adam II, the Mad Monarch of the imprisoned land known as Liechtenstein, has done it again! Today Liechtenstein defied the world and launched their new Doppelganger VI missile, a deadly weapon capable of carrying a small nuclear bomb. The Doppelganger VI has a range of 3 miles when armed with a nuclear weapon. This means that it is exceedingly dangerous to anyone living in very close proximity to Liechtenstein. It is a clear attempt by Hans-Adam to do one or more of several things: 1. terrorize the entire world 2. terrorize the Swiss town of Buchs 3. terrorize the Austrian town of Feldkirch 4. blackmail the EU into funding the building of a new soccer arena in Liechtenstein 5. annoy the hell out of George Bush 6. make Kim Jong-Il realllly jealous (the Doppelganger VI performed flawlessly, flying exactly 3 miles before touching down right on target in a cow pasture that had been cleared of its livestock to receive the descending missile) "The Doppelganger VI constitutes a real and present danger toward world peace," said a grim-faced President George Bush. "We will not stand by and allow the world to be blackmailed by this little pissant rogue state, Licked--In-Styne. We are looking at all possible contingencies to disarm Licked-En-Steen and make sure that the Licked-In-Steenians...or whatever the hell they call themselves...are SET FREE from the rule of this madman, Hans-Adam." Europeans will rest uneasy tonight, with the shadow of the Doppelganger VI looming large in everyone's minds. Stay tuned for further reports on the crisis... |
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05 Jul 06 - 08:55 PM (#1777213) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: GUEST Talk about yer misrepresentation. The missile test was actually a multichoice questionnaire. I obtained a copy from #$@&%*($%@. The President of the United States of America is a) George Bush b) in deep shit c) stupider than yer average rock d) all of the above The Doppelganger VI lookalike who wrote the exam chose answer d. Therefore, Europe tonight can rest easy. |
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05 Jul 06 - 08:56 PM (#1777215) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk LOL!!! By God, that's a relief, isn't it? |
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05 Jul 06 - 08:58 PM (#1777217) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: GUEST That's all we need. Leichtenstein, Korea AND Iran teaming up together. What next? Andorra? |
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06 Jul 06 - 11:55 AM (#1777416) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: GUEST,Mingulay at work "RUTLAND LAUNCHES ROCK" It was announced today the Rutland is to launch a rock (small pebble) from the shores of Rutland Water at 12:00 hrs tomorrow. Splashdown is expected some 3 seconds later approximately 25 metres from the launch site. Officials say that it is their reply to global armament, but that they borrowed the catapult from a local schoolboy. |
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06 Jul 06 - 12:28 PM (#1777444) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: redsnapper Also in the news today.... Vatican launches new missal. The "John Paul". Capable of causing a nasty bump on the head when launched accurately over 10 metres. |
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06 Jul 06 - 01:52 PM (#1777494) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Heh! Omigod, things just keep getting worse! |
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06 Jul 06 - 01:53 PM (#1777496) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Kaleea Wow, if I could just remember where I put that old glass pop bottle, maybe I could launch the new rocket I've been saving for just such an occasion. oops! now we're in trouble. momentarily forgot that big brother is reading everything on the internet these days. now they'll be coming to take me away ha ha ho ho hee hee! |
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06 Jul 06 - 03:05 PM (#1777553) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Bill D Liechtenstein simply is learning from the tale of The Dutchy of Grand Fenwick. Look for the U.N. to offer Liechtenstein a permanent place on the security council soon. I hope they don't reveal it all done with rubber bands) |
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06 Jul 06 - 04:11 PM (#1777609) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Naemanson LOL! This is great! |
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06 Jul 06 - 05:10 PM (#1777673) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Don't underestimate the size of their hidden explosive pastry stockpiles, Bill... |
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06 Jul 06 - 07:19 PM (#1777783) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Bill D oh, I surely shan't, Little Hawk.... uh...you mean the chocolate/hydrogen éclairs? Remember what they did when a dozen over-filled ones got loose and floated over Bosnia! |
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06 Jul 06 - 07:25 PM (#1777790) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: skipy Local new:- Witney is trying to raise funds to design a trebuchet that could hurl a dustbin at Burford! Skipy. |
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06 Jul 06 - 07:26 PM (#1777792) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace Laugh and scoff while ye may. They have this, yes. BUT, it's mobile now. |
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06 Jul 06 - 07:29 PM (#1777795) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace And this! |
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06 Jul 06 - 07:36 PM (#1777803) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Typical Liechtensteiner perfidy! They are not above using the young and naive to forward their treacherous plans of world conquest. |
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06 Jul 06 - 07:45 PM (#1777813) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace Secret agent checking for lost missiles. |
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06 Jul 06 - 07:47 PM (#1777814) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Where the hell do you find all these pictures??? |
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06 Jul 06 - 11:40 PM (#1777905) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace On the computer. They're just there. I don't know where they come from or how they GET there, but there they are. If you go to the Google page, just type a search term in. For example, I will do so with the word breasts . I first type missles, then click the blue thing above the box entitled Images. Then to the right on the new screen will be a place to click Search Images. That will then search for missiles. Lots of pics. Sometimes it's a hoot to type weird stuff in there and see what comes up. For example, I will try the term Bob Dylan. Naw. You try it. You will be taken to a page of fairly small images--about 20 per page. Click on the image and it will get larger. Look around. I appreciate that you have a strange sense of humour, so I shall stop there. However, see what happens when ya type in ears. |
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06 Jul 06 - 11:41 PM (#1777906) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace Ten to one he types in breasts. No need to post links. |
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06 Jul 06 - 11:53 PM (#1777909) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace Like, just for the heck of it, I type in the word ouch. This is one of the pics from that page. Neat, huh? |
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07 Jul 06 - 08:32 AM (#1778145) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: GUEST,Mingulay at work "RUTLAND ROCK LAUNCH DISRUPTED" From our science and jumble sale correspondent. Officialdom stepped in today in the shape of Anglian Water to halt the planned launch of a rock into the depths of a local lake. A spokesperson for the authority told the Stamford & Rutland Mercury that it was strictly against the byelaws to hurl foreign objects willy nilly into the water without prior permission and submitting a full Risk Assessment and Method Statement. Besides which the rock may fall on and injure a passing trout thus depriving the AWA of much needed revenue from fishermen. The spokesperson added that water quality and the actual supply of the same were of secondary importance in this issue. A man is due to appear in Court on Wednesday week to answer charges regarding the malicious dropping of a boiled sweet wrapper. It is not thought that the two incidents are connected. A recent spate of bicycle thefts are thought to be the work of a London gang...................... |
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07 Jul 06 - 09:07 AM (#1778168) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Cool Beans Roy? He should stick to his painting. |
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07 Jul 06 - 09:13 AM (#1778173) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: jacqui.c Not to mention the up and coming young missile designer ansd scion of a well known Mudcat family who learned to make chocolate mousse filled party poppers to terrorise the world, and South Wales! |
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07 Jul 06 - 09:30 AM (#1778183) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Charley Noble As I recall from our visits to Oz, "rockets" were a regular offering on the breakfast menu. There was some combination of "rockets" and "bashers" but maybe it was "bockets" and "rashers." Life is so surreal downunder! Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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07 Jul 06 - 09:36 AM (#1778188) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: MMario Liechtenstein, UN, at Oddsthe UN Security council met today in emergency session to pass a resulution blocking delivery of Mentos mints and Diet Coke to Liechtenstein or agents of that country. According to D.Emmit Ahle, press secretary for the Security Council, these are the primary materials neccessary for the Liechtenstein missile program. The council is expected to pass further resulutions detailing sanctions for those defying the sale of these items. |
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07 Jul 06 - 09:36 AM (#1778189) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk How about "bangers and mash"? |
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07 Jul 06 - 09:52 AM (#1778204) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Yes, Diet Coke can be used to generate massive thrust to propel a missile. Very nasty stuff. It should be banned entirely. |
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07 Jul 06 - 11:05 AM (#1778262) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: GUEST,Mingulay at work Little Hawk - would you see me out of a job? |
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07 Jul 06 - 11:16 AM (#1778265) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Well, Mingulay...if your job constitutes a dire threat to world peace...then, I guess...yeah. Why don't you go for a career change? I understand there is a real shortage of muskox sexers in the Yukon. |
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07 Jul 06 - 03:39 PM (#1778421) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace Bangers and mash: Its use will be outlawed by the Geneva Convention. |
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07 Jul 06 - 03:47 PM (#1778425) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: MMario One can see why, given that photograph! So, Mingulay - do you work for the big 'C' - or in the Liechtenstien Missile program? Or possibly you are a dentist? |
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07 Jul 06 - 05:04 PM (#1778473) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Charley Noble I'm still puzzling over my memories of "Rockets" for breakfast in Australia. Here's a place in Brisbane that's part of the Johnny Rockets chain: Click at Your Own Risk! Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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08 Jul 06 - 01:40 AM (#1778735) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace HOLY SH#T. If they have these, we may as well surrender NOW. |
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08 Jul 06 - 01:45 AM (#1778737) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Peace Never mind yer .357; look out for the.302; don't mess with 'em. |
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08 Jul 06 - 09:56 AM (#1778884) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Typical Liechtensteiner firepower! They're a deadly bunch, no doubt about it. I'm glad I don't live in Buchs or Feldkirch. |
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08 Jul 06 - 06:27 PM (#1779110) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Lanfranc Plot Summary for The Mouse That Roared (1959) The Duchy of Grand Fenwick decides that the only way to get out of their economic woes is to declare war on the United States, lose and accept foreign aid. Peter Sellers, as the scheming Prime Minister of Grand Fenwick, plots with Peter Sellers, as the scheming Grand Duchess, to declare war on the USA, lose and get that foreign aid. Unfortunately, they forget to tell Peter Sellers, as Tully Bascombe, commander of their mediaeval army.They send an invasion force to New York (armed with longbows) which arrives during a nuclear drill that has cleared the streets. Wandering about to find someone to surrender to, they discover a scientist with a special ultimate weapon that can destroy the Earth. When they capture him and his bomb they are faced with a new possibility: What do you do when you win a war you meant to lose? The best laid plans of mice and men ... Life imitating art? Or history repeating itself? Enough to make me watch the film again! Alan |
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09 Jul 06 - 12:03 PM (#1779510) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Charley Noble I'm really impressed with the firepower that Peace has dug up images of. Truly terrifying! My Oz informants tell me that my memories of "rockets" for breakfast were off-base. However, they are a key ingredient in some gourmet salads. So beware, and take care! Check out the Badde Manors Menue here as an example: Click at Your Own Risk! Now back to our normal programing. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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22 Jul 06 - 09:16 PM (#1790296) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk Note that the subject of Liechtenstein has not even been mentioned publically at the G8 meetings! This tells you just how serious a crisis it is, and how deeply feared is the response of the mad Hans-Adam regime to any open criticism. World leaders don't dare to mention the crisis openly, for fear of causing mass panic. You can be sure, though, that there are frantic consultations occurring behind the scenes, and George Bush has probably already remarked to Tony Blair that "Liechtenstein is a small country...but a very dangerous one.") |
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22 Jul 06 - 09:30 PM (#1790312) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Bill D How small IS Liechtenstein? well, the sign on the railway station extends into Switzerland. |
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23 Jul 06 - 03:41 PM (#1790896) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: leeneia Joke all you want, but if something goes wrong and the missile explodes on the launcher, there won't be any Liechtenstein left to defend. Peace - love the lipstick mailbox. I mean ICBM. |
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23 Jul 06 - 04:25 PM (#1790927) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Little Hawk That's why the Liechtensteiners are so efficient and deadly. They can't afford to make a single mistake. |
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24 Jul 06 - 03:16 PM (#1791884) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Don(Wyziwyg)T Reuters 24 July 2006. Liechtenstein destroyed at noon today. Details are sparse, but the sole survivor, a border guard who had just popped out to Switzerland to buy an army knife, stated that on his return, his country was no longer there. In an exclusive interview he said "I was minding me own business when this lump of rock come flying out of nowhere. Nearly took me 'ead orf. Then I saw what was left of Liechtenstein; bleedin' 'orrible it were". Asked to describe the rock, he replied "It was pink, and it 'ad the letters R U T L A N D printed right through it. What's all that abaht then?" UN delegates are examining the possibility of establishing a new homeland on the devastated land, to be known as New Israel. The Palestinian delegate commented "Ah well, it's an ill wind.....". Plans are in train for the evacuation of Germany, Austria, and Switzerland. Representatives of the three states said that they could not take chances with the lives of their citizens. Don T. |
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25 Jul 06 - 10:04 AM (#1792673) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Paul from Hull See, dont underestimate catapults, pebbles & lakes.... the result of one such train of events... |
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25 Jul 06 - 10:08 AM (#1792677) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: MMario no one who read 'Dr. Doolittle and the Secret Lake' ever would. |
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25 Jul 06 - 10:18 AM (#1792687) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Bill D "Plans are in train for the evacuation of Germany, Austria, and Switzerland." And France is studying plans to rebuild the Maginot Line and extend it around the entire country. |
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25 Jul 06 - 10:58 AM (#1792714) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Paul from Hull Round the ENTIRE country? Well, good for them....not that I care whether or not they are well-defended, its just nice to have the French acknowledge a previous mistake for once...... |
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25 Jul 06 - 11:36 AM (#1792767) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: Bill D Mistake? Just look at the wine cellars it left after the war! (France has been watching the USA/Mexico border situation....evacuating Germany and Austria shakes them to the core.) |
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25 Jul 06 - 01:30 PM (#1792857) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: GUEST,Hans-Adam II There is no truth to the rumour that Liechtenstein has been destroyed. To the contrary, we stand ready to defend our homeland at a moment's notice against any and all comers. Let no one be under the illusion that Liechenstein is weak or ill-prepared. We are well-armed, filled with resolve, and determined to prevail in any test of national will. If anyone attempts to interfere in the internal affairs of Liechtenstein we will respond immediately with crushing force! |
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25 Jul 06 - 01:31 PM (#1792861) Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein tests new missile From: MMario That's funny - I heard Michael Jackson had bought your entire nation. He plans to make it an amuesement park. |
