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14 Jul 06 - 08:42 AM (#1783314) Subject: BS: Adult Curiosity From: GUEST,PennyRoyal Recently I found out that two women I know with hold sex from their partner/spouse as a means of getting things they want or to keep their partner/spouse from doing things they don't approve of. Is it just me, or does this scream CONTROL FREAK and of a doomed relationship? And what does that say about the other person? Personally I find this inherantly wrong. Why would you do that to someone you supposedly LOVE? Any thoughts? PennyRoyal |
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14 Jul 06 - 09:08 AM (#1783337) Subject: RE: BS: Adult Curiosity From: Rapparee I agree. |
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14 Jul 06 - 09:29 AM (#1783352) Subject: RE: BS: Adult Curiosity From: Becca72 Immaturity and passive-agressive bullshit if you ask me. |
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14 Jul 06 - 09:33 AM (#1783358) Subject: RE: BS: Adult Curiosity From: Scoville Never having tried this myself, I wonder if it doesn't go both ways. I wonder if women who feel powerless in most other aspects of a relationship (i.e. don't feel like they have much say in the finances, in family policy, etc.) use this as a last resort. The flip-side stereotype is the husband who won't give his stay-at-home wife money because it's "his" and he doesn't want her wasting it on herself. Refusing to clean the house, etc., in retaliation directly affects the kids and would probably bring extra criticism on the woman herself. Withholding sex directly affects mostly the husband. Which is not to say that I don't think it's a childish ploy and degrading to everyone involved, just that without insight into what drives someone down this road, it's hard to tell what's really going on. |
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14 Jul 06 - 09:35 AM (#1783363) Subject: RE: BS: Adult Curiosity From: Rapparee In any case it's a game being played and it's a sick one. The relationship couldn't have been very solid to begin with. |
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14 Jul 06 - 09:41 AM (#1783370) Subject: RE: BS: Adult Curiosity From: Emma B been done before |
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14 Jul 06 - 11:16 AM (#1783436) Subject: RE: BS: Adult Curiosity From: Bill D "been done before" for a good cause. Lysistrata might be a good idea in today's world....but not for a little relationship. |
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14 Jul 06 - 03:33 PM (#1783615) Subject: RE: BS: Adult Curiosity From: Big Al Whittle all marriages are weird. if they work at all. they work if you turn up and contribute your physical presence every day, anything else is an extra. actually i can think of some marriages that work because the two combatants, stay apart as much as is humanly possible. don't get snotty about anybody else's marriage, if it works for them....who is to say what's right. |
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14 Jul 06 - 03:42 PM (#1783626) Subject: RE: BS: Adult Curiosity From: fat B****rd I am fortunate. My wife doesn't do that sort of thing. If she did I'd rather engage in DIY than mind games. Then again that's MY marriage, weelittledrummer's last paragraph is fine by me. |
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14 Jul 06 - 08:06 PM (#1783870) Subject: RE: BS: Adult Curiosity From: folk1e Come on you can't leave us in suspense......... Did the man notice? |
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14 Jul 06 - 08:08 PM (#1783872) Subject: RE: BS: Adult Curiosity From: GUEST The women who confided in you must feel so good knowing how well you keep a confidence. |
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14 Jul 06 - 08:38 PM (#1783892) Subject: RE: BS: Adult Curiosity From: GUEST Any woman who tries this risks her man going elsewhere. |
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14 Jul 06 - 09:52 PM (#1783942) Subject: RE: BS: Adult Curiosity From: jacqui.c Sounds like a form of prostitution to me. |
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14 Jul 06 - 11:52 PM (#1783991) Subject: RE: BS: Adult Curiosity From: GUEST,PennyRoyal Guest 8:08, One doesn't care who she tells. The other has no idea I know. I haven't disclosed names so what does it matter? Is it someone on Mudcat? Wouldn't you like to know! Either way, I can't imagine why you would play such games with someone you love. In fact, I can't imagine that love is involved at all in that kind of situation. PennyRoyal |
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14 Jul 06 - 11:55 PM (#1783995) Subject: RE: BS: Adult Curiosity From: GUEST Not at all. You sound like a gossip. |
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15 Jul 06 - 12:09 AM (#1784002) Subject: RE: BS: Adult Curiosity From: GUEST,Art Thieme I've always liked what M. Scott Peck said: 'One main reason to get married is for the friction!!' The hard WORK you must both do to make it work is where the real positives come from (and that friction adds to sex too.) Art |
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15 Jul 06 - 12:45 AM (#1784012) Subject: RE: BS: Adult Curiosity From: GUEST,PennyRoyal Guest 8:08 Gossip? More like I have never heard of such a thing and was quite taken by surprise. Again, it just doesn't fit into what I consider love. I can understand a disagreement and not feeling close to each other (so no sex is happening) but for it to be a one sided decision and used as leverage, that just isn't love. Call me old fashioned, but if it's not about love, it's not worth having. The power trip thing is beyond me. PennyRoyal |