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29 Jul 06 - 02:50 PM (#1796326) Subject: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Amos "We regret to report that Mister William Shatner has experienced a tragic but long-overdue encounter with the Grim Reaper, the one alien force he could not overcome, and has been eliminated from the ranks of living, breathing, walking actors on the face of the Earth. Over the years his existence among those ranks was often hotly debated, as his talents were extremely thin and marginal. Fortunately, he was able to survive for long periods by consuming his own excess body fats. Mister Shatner's absence from the roll of living actors was first noticed by members of his fan club who, having spent a week away from their computers while on vacation with some responsible elders, were reportedly found "coming to their senses" and realizing that their revered figurehead was hollow, and devoid of ability. Experts have since confirmed these observations and his absence from those rolls has been deemed official." J.B. Penworthy, writing in the current edition of Screen Vogue magazine. |
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29 Jul 06 - 02:54 PM (#1796328) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: GUEST,Nomad I will ananlyze. A N A L Y Z E! AAAAAANNNNNAAAALLLLYYYYYZZZZZEEEE!!!! |
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29 Jul 06 - 04:05 PM (#1796378) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: John MacKenzie Was it Dutch Elm Disease? Dutch Elm Giok |
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29 Jul 06 - 04:43 PM (#1796406) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Ebbie Will someone please make the trek to Little Hawk's abode and hold his hand? 'Preciate it. |
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29 Jul 06 - 04:47 PM (#1796409) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Slag Did anyone ever notice the similarity between Shatner's emoting and the great Daffy Duck bit in a Zoot Suit? If Bill could have just half the dimension of the Duck... |
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29 Jul 06 - 04:50 PM (#1796411) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Peace A picture worth a thousand words . . . . |
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29 Jul 06 - 04:54 PM (#1796414) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Ebbie Awwwwwwww |
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29 Jul 06 - 05:01 PM (#1796418) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Bill D oh, my! He could easily overcome that with...........wait...death.....oh..thought you said DEBT! |
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29 Jul 06 - 05:22 PM (#1796440) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Ebbie Yeah! Let's put on a fundraiser for da man. He'll be feeling quite himself again very soon. Debt is a draining thing. |
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29 Jul 06 - 05:26 PM (#1796447) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: John MacKenzie He's gone to join his old friend Dr Schmock! G |
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29 Jul 06 - 05:34 PM (#1796452) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: GUEST,William Shatner Get Thou a Life! |
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29 Jul 06 - 05:38 PM (#1796456) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: David C. Carter Beam me up Snotty! |
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29 Jul 06 - 06:14 PM (#1796486) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Sorcha Sorry...I've been scammed too many times..is this really true? |
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29 Jul 06 - 06:37 PM (#1796496) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Not a chance, Bub. Unlike Jimmy Hoffa, Shatner is still alive. Maybe not kickin', but he's still alive. I wish I was earnin' his paycheck. I would buy a treehouse in Washington State, overlookin' a real nice forested area, retire, and just kick back for awhile. Then maybe I'd take up the search for Bigfoot, just so I could have a hobby and meet some fellow primates. Yeah. That'd be a cool thing to do. Boy, I gotta go out and rent the last season of "Boston Legal". That show kicks ass! |
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29 Jul 06 - 06:39 PM (#1796497) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Tweed Yes of course it's true Sorch. Do you not notice the blaring absence of Liddle Harg who is no doubt searching CheapTickets for fares to Rigel 10. Little Hawk, if you're out there brother, we feel yore pain. {{{{{{{HUGGGGSSS}}}}}}}}My god I am such a friggin' asshole..I did a hug thingy...kill me now and shoot my remains into the stratosphere. |
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29 Jul 06 - 06:43 PM (#1796502) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge At last, Tweed, you are talking good sense instead of rot! Please forward your current address so I can tell them where to find you. * PR |
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29 Jul 06 - 06:45 PM (#1796506) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Tweed Dear P.R. Get stuffed you toothless old wench. This is a funerary thread for god's sake. Have you no couth nor upbringing at all? Phaw!! What a dumbass question.... |
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29 Jul 06 - 06:48 PM (#1796509) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: John MacKenzie I believe Penny has a very smart ass! |
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29 Jul 06 - 06:57 PM (#1796515) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Tweed Yaz Giok, she is a smartass from way back. Always stalking my every move, even to the point of harassing my perfectly serious post regarding the death of William T. Kirkner. She is unscrupulous and aslo completely devoid of scuppers. |
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29 Jul 06 - 07:37 PM (#1796527) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Sorcha OK...so I didn't actually bite...just nibble. Bobber still afloat. |
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29 Jul 06 - 07:41 PM (#1796531) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Amos WHile it is understandable that our dearly beloved Liddle Harg would be in a state resembling Egyptian river water about this sad situation, I can confirm from personal certainty that he is no longer on the list, if he was ever on it, of actual actors living on planet Earth today. As for Dutch Elm, it is possible. A |
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29 Jul 06 - 07:55 PM (#1796538) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge Now, Tweeeeed... Don't back out of it. You said "kill me now and shoot my remains into the stratosphere", didn't you? Well? I think it's a splendid idea, a simply ripping idea whose time has come! I'm all for it. As for that overweight fellow, Mr Shatner, it is my understanding that he is not dead at all. It's just Amos engaging in one of his obessions, that's all. This J.B. Penworthy, after all, is a hack writer, a gossip columnist with a poison pen. He reminds me of England's own Hector Ballsworthy, he of the Independent Press, always raving on about space aliens, and demonically possessed children in the Cotswolds, and lizard people among us, for heaven's sake! The man is simply desperate for attention. I think that may be Mr Penworthy's problem as well. * PR |
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29 Jul 06 - 08:23 PM (#1796542) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: GUEST,J.B. Penworthy Your scurrilous remarks have been noted, madame, and although I am sure you meant them only as the kind of idle and witless gossip in which you are so well versed, and not as the malicious defamations which they will readily be interpreted to be in any court of law, I am obliged to advise you that they should cease forthwith, to avoid such a gruesome eventuality and its expensive sequelae. With kindest regards, James Benjamin Penworthy, Esquire as advised by Donaldson and Murray, Attorneys at Law "If we bring you a suit, you won't find one of your own" Catering to the Contentious And Their Usual Targets Throughout the English-Speaking World |
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29 Jul 06 - 09:22 PM (#1796554) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Amos Hey, the "PM" links to posters have been de-mobbed! A |
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29 Jul 06 - 09:30 PM (#1796558) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Rapparee Free William Shatner Ringtones are being advertised at the bottom at the moment. And a WS DVD Club! What more could anyone ask from the undead? Ringtones and a club to beat his DVDs with. My cup runneth over. |
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29 Jul 06 - 09:33 PM (#1796560) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Tweed Amos, old buddy, I must apologize to you for the hijacking of your newsworthy thread regarding the passing of Kirk Colbain. Ms. Rutabadger is apparently unable to resist flaunting her old flabby backside in my face, hoping against hope that I'll reach up and pinch it. You know the long awful history between she and myself and I hope you will find it in your kind heart to forgive her. I can't do it, but you are better adjusted than I am. This I know from your fulltime involvement with MOAB. And where is poor Harg? Has his family Baker Acted him. Do they Baker Act temporarily unstable people in Canada? |
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29 Jul 06 - 09:36 PM (#1796564) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Amos S' awright, s'awright, old companion-in-blues. No skin off my nose atall. Now, that writer fella, he seemed quite steamed, so I would advise Missus PennyBristches to lie low for a while and keep her odors to herself a bit, lest she find herself unkindly stretched at law. But, me, I don't have no problem, as I ain't got a dog in the fight. A |
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29 Jul 06 - 09:52 PM (#1796567) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Tweed Free William Shatner Rapaire?? Has he been Baker Acted aslo? Can they Baker Act deceased and temporarily crazed people in Canada? Where is Harg? |
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29 Jul 06 - 10:11 PM (#1796577) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: GUEST Extenuating circumstances coerce me to preclude you from such a bauble of extravance. |
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29 Jul 06 - 10:48 PM (#1796587) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Bill D He IS dead...maybe |
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29 Jul 06 - 11:18 PM (#1796594) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Ebbie The title 'Tragic, Overdue Death' made me smile. But notice how different its mood when you say 'Overdue Tragic Death'. :) Poor Bill. Poor LH. Poor Bill is daid. (William Shatner himself has always made me smile. He's like the guy down the street.) |
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30 Jul 06 - 12:04 AM (#1796610) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: JennyO Well I nearly shat myself when I read this thread title! Tragic, eh? The thought came to me (probably long overdue) that this thread is a perfect example of why it would be a shame for BS to become members only. Or not. Depending on your point of view. |
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30 Jul 06 - 04:50 AM (#1796700) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: John MacKenzie Regrettably the fat Canuck fraud is not deceased, but merely over here in the UK [not I hope oversexed and overpaid] doing adverts for breakfast cereals. Which when you think of how much like woodchip some cereals are and how wooden Willie's acting is, it's a bit like selling your own children. Yes sireee Bob "Try Shatners Shucked Shreddies, they're a chip off the old block" Yup when old Billy Shatner goes for a pee, he calls it hangin' out his shingle, yee haw! Giok |
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30 Jul 06 - 07:13 AM (#1796756) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Liz the Squeak Well why not.. Rigor Mortis set in years and years ago! LTS |
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30 Jul 06 - 08:17 AM (#1796775) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: mack/misophist "Poor Bill he's daid Bill Shatner is daid. See him liein' Quiet and serene, And serene, Poor Bill he's daid. Bill Shatner is daid. And his fingernails Ain't never been so clean Been so clean." |
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30 Jul 06 - 09:00 AM (#1796801) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: jacqui.c '(William Shatner himself has always made me smile. He's like the guy down the street.)' Ebbie - did you mean the old guy who sleeps in the cardboard box? What I want to know is, if the beloved Shatner is Daid, has anyone rescued that poor little animal he kept prisoner on his head? |
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30 Jul 06 - 12:05 PM (#1796954) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Ebbie Ah but Jacqui, he can afford his own cardboard box. |
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30 Jul 06 - 12:23 PM (#1796971) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: SINSULL This is as good a place as any to ask: in that movie where Spock is dying of an overdose of radiation or whatever, why does Kirk keep opening and closing his lapels as he watched Spock die. And how does he manage to do it and emote at the same time? Jacqui - that thing is an embalmed tribble. Not to worry. It's days were over many years ago. Couldn't you tell? |
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30 Jul 06 - 12:39 PM (#1796983) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: jacqui.c Sins - it's a bit like Bush having the remote control under his jacket to keep him on course. Shatner had his words on the lapels, and the directions for facial expressions as well. |
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30 Jul 06 - 08:42 PM (#1797304) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: 282RA If a Vulcan was dying in front of you, believe me, you'd be opening and closing your lapels too. |
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31 Jul 06 - 04:30 AM (#1797458) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Liz the Squeak I suspect it wouldn't be just my lapels that were opening..... Is his corset going to be sent to the Museum of the Moving Image, or the Science Museum? LTS |
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31 Jul 06 - 07:36 AM (#1797532) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: jacqui.c No Liz - Pavarotti outbid everyone else for it. |
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31 Jul 06 - 12:46 PM (#1797839) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Little Hawk I see that the Anti-Shatnerite forces, led by their deranged Uber-Commandant Amos, are stirring again. An ugly spectacle! When will they "get a life" and learn not to mess with their superiors? |
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31 Jul 06 - 12:49 PM (#1797842) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Liz the Squeak When I find someone superior to me I'll not mess with them! LTS |
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31 Jul 06 - 12:52 PM (#1797851) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Little Hawk Heh! A wise choice, Liz. ;-) Anti-Shatnerite types are drawn irrestistibly to the Great Flame that is the talent and persona of William Shatner. They can't stay away. Like moths, they hasten to their doom. (...that oughta bring 'em out of the woodwork, foaming at the mouth...) |
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31 Jul 06 - 01:15 PM (#1797871) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Amos MWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Superiors? Oh, little Little Hawk, you wot not whereof you speak!! MWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!! Shatner and all his followers will be as DUST under the wheels of our triumphant chariots!! DUST!! DUST!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. A |
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31 Jul 06 - 01:26 PM (#1797881) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Little Hawk Ha! The battle lines are drawn! Now that you filthy Anti-Shatnerites have come out into the open we shall expunge you UTTERLY! Phasers shall be set on "eviscerate". |
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31 Jul 06 - 06:34 PM (#1798230) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Liz the Squeak Got my laser printer set to stun.... shame it won't print my bloody documents out! LTS |
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31 Jul 06 - 06:42 PM (#1798238) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Amos Nothing harder to read than a thoroughly stunned document. The problem you are going to have, Shatmerites, is the same basic problem Shatner has. Your phasers, which have set to eviscerate, are imaginary, while our guts are quite real. Not knowing the difference, you may as well surrender now. A |
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31 Jul 06 - 07:36 PM (#1798278) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Little Hawk You should be well aware, Amos, that those who don't know the difference NEVER surrender! Like the Jews at Masada... Like the Japanese on Iwo Jima... Like the SS in the ruins of Berlin... Or as Neil Young put it: "It's better to burn out than to fade away." And that's why you find a lot of burnouts at the NYCFTTS. |
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01 Aug 06 - 12:04 AM (#1798425) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Amos Whereas, at the WSSBA, you find those who never burned at all.... Let me offer you this fine quote from a REAL mentor, Mister Jack London, American author: I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather That my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze Than it should be stifled by dryrot. I would rather be a splendid meteor, Every atom of me in magnificent glow, Than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of mankind is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time." A simple sentiment, but far beyond the ken of your sleepy-planet hero. A |
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01 Aug 06 - 11:06 AM (#1798796) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Don Firth There are those who claim that William Shatner died the first time he stepped in front of a television camera. . . . Don Firth |
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01 Aug 06 - 04:16 PM (#1799129) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Slag So.......How many Klingons do you want? |
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02 Aug 06 - 12:01 AM (#1799501) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Little Hawk That is unquestionably an excellent quote from Jack London, Amos. Impressive. |
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18 Aug 06 - 02:16 PM (#1813153) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Amos Here ya go, LH. Comedy Central is offering a Roast Of the Ghost of Shatner. A |
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18 Aug 06 - 02:42 PM (#1813179) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Bill D Yep...Shatner's feet held to the fire! Maybe Scottie can beam him somewhere safe. |
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18 Aug 06 - 02:44 PM (#1813181) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: MMario damn - I fall for this every time. |
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18 Aug 06 - 02:59 PM (#1813189) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: GUEST,Neftig WHOOOOOMP!!!! |
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18 Aug 06 - 03:07 PM (#1813195) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Little Hawk Thanks, Amos. It's always fun watching Leonard and Bill pick on each other like that. |
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19 Aug 06 - 10:20 AM (#1813753) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: SINSULL I can't bring myself to start another Shat thread but am amazed that no one (read: Little Hawk) is salivating at the prospect of Sunday's Roast on Comedy Central. |
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19 Aug 06 - 10:57 AM (#1813769) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Jeri SINS, I've seen the previews, and it looks like it's going to be great. There's that line about what the previous roast of Pamela Anderson and Shat's have in common: neither can act, but they both have big boobs. I think they're being nice to Little Hawk, as he doesn't have a TV. |
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19 Aug 06 - 11:27 AM (#1813781) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: catspaw49 Comedy Central has leaked a bit of the ending where the Boulder police show up and arrest him in connection with the JonBenet Ramsey case. I have always known Shatner was a preeevert........... Spaw |
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19 Aug 06 - 12:28 PM (#1813814) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Janie Some one he loved, on learning of WS's tragic demise. |
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19 Aug 06 - 01:06 PM (#1813834) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Little Hawk LOL! I wonder who won the final round? |
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19 Aug 06 - 01:18 PM (#1813840) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: John MacKenzie RAM bo! Do my eyes deceive me, or was that Scotty in the sheepskin? G. |
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19 Aug 06 - 01:35 PM (#1813851) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Little Hawk The sheep is obviously quite angry that the swing keeps coming back for more, and has no intention of backing down. How the swing feels about the matter is not clear. |
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19 Aug 06 - 02:00 PM (#1813866) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Janie The sheep is obviously quite angry that the swing keeps coming back for more.... Sort of the way some people feel about ol'Bill. Maybe that's why the video came up when I googled William Shatner? |
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19 Aug 06 - 02:32 PM (#1813906) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Amos The sheep, as you put it Janie, is not "someone he loved" -- it is clear that it is a ram. The love object must have been the swing set. A |
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19 Aug 06 - 03:39 PM (#1813955) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: robomatic From The Scofflaws: *** William Shatner *** He got a fine tan shirt with an emblem on the chest, the interstellar girls all like him the best. Captain of the crew and he knows kung fu and he did Joan Collins in 1932. Really just an actor and a genius to boot, he never gets to fire when the enemy shoots. Ends each show looking neat and clean after staring down the barrel of the Doomsday Machine. I really like the one where he reads the Constitution after ending all the fighting in the future revolution. William (Shatner!) William (Shatner!) William (Shatner!) William... |
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19 Aug 06 - 04:36 PM (#1814008) Subject: RE: BS: The Tragic, Overdue Death of Wm Shatner From: Slag Tell 'em Willy Boy's here. |
