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BS: Acoustic Guitar

24 Jan 07 - 05:49 PM (#1947063)
Subject: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: John Hardly

Accusetic Guitar – played by those plagued with guilty consciences
Acaustic Guitar – wear asbestos gloves while playing
Agnostic Guitar – Can't be sure if it's real or not
BobCoustic Guitar – Great on Celtic tunings
Aztecoustex Guitar -- Musical ancestor of the Mariachi Guitarrones
Acoustex Guitar -- for Western Swing
Axcoustic Guitar -- Played by Lizzie Borden
Acluestic Guitar -- Played by Professor Plum in the library

Haikustick Guitar --
a simple guitar
on which one can make music
without plugging in

Acoustack Guitar -- easier to store when not in use
Eggcoustic Guitar -- can balance on its endpin during the Spring Equinox

Avalon
Claxton
Ryan
Olson
Somogyi
Turner
Ibanez
Charis

Akoistic Guitar – for serenading fish out by the garden pond
Akookookachoostic Guitar – I think it was a Gibson J-160
Echostic Guitar plays with lots of reverb
Edclaxtic Guitar yours for only $10,000.00
Acursetic Guitar -- model introduced by the Occultstic Guitar Company and used by bands like Black Sabbath
Akookystic Guitar --kooky, kooky, lend me your akookystic.
Apustic Guitar – Played by Springfield's friendly Quick-Mart owner
Acrobatstic Guitar -- perfectly balanced for playing while tightrope walking
Acoochie-coochie-coostic Guitar -- Charro's guitar, of course.


24 Jan 07 - 05:54 PM (#1947071)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: McGrath of Harlow

You missed out the Sarcastic Guitar, typically accomopnaied by a Sneer Drum.

And, of course, the Iconoclastic Guitar irreverent protest singers rely on.


24 Jan 07 - 06:09 PM (#1947089)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Jeri

Accostic Guitar: the one that jumps you in the music store and makes you buy it.


24 Jan 07 - 06:13 PM (#1947092)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Cluin

Achoostic guitar - Gor bless ya!... and wipe it down after playing.


24 Jan 07 - 06:17 PM (#1947098)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: jonm

g
u
i
t
acrostic
r


24 Jan 07 - 06:54 PM (#1947132)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: GUEST,282RA

I had an agluestick guitar. In fact, I still do, dammit.


24 Jan 07 - 06:58 PM (#1947139)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: John Hardly

Acrowstic Guitar - What with Sheryl, Counting, and Black, it was very popular in the 90s
JCrewstic Guitar -- Also popular in the 90s until the kids moved on to Abercrombie & Fitchstics
A-bubblin'crudestic Guitar -- The guitar played by Lester Flatt on the "Ballad Of Jed Clampett"


24 Jan 07 - 07:34 PM (#1947173)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: McGrath of Harlow

There's Ascetic Guitar, which isn't for self-indulgent players.

And Drastic Guitar which is a bit extreme.


24 Jan 07 - 07:54 PM (#1947187)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Bernard

Alcohoustic guitar... hic! Thash the besht kind...!

A-cue-stick guitar - great for playing pool.


24 Jan 07 - 09:23 PM (#1947232)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: wysiwyg

Ectoplastic Guitar-- New age, new materials

Acouscoustic Guitar-- Middle Eastern

Magoostic Guitar-- For toons

Aflustic Catarrh-- Sicko!

Anewstic Guitar-- When you used to play, 15 years ago, and you want to work up to calluses gently

Aphooeystic Guitar-- Never mind, it's too damn hard, will you buy me back?

~Susan


24 Jan 07 - 11:01 PM (#1947280)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Bee-dubya-ell

In Soviet Russia, you not make pun about Acoustic Guitar. Acoustic Guitar make pun about YOU!


25 Jan 07 - 12:07 AM (#1947300)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Ebbie

Atheistic Guitar- A guitar that gives up midway. :)


25 Jan 07 - 04:39 AM (#1947370)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Big Al Whittle

A Pooh Stick Guitar - for players of very little brain


25 Jan 07 - 06:03 AM (#1947418)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: David C. Carter

The Teflon Non Stick Guitar-as played by Ronnie Reagan


25 Jan 07 - 06:03 AM (#1947419)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: fat B****rd

Bugger, WLD I was off to say that. LOL


25 Jan 07 - 06:15 AM (#1947425)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: David C. Carter

Or:The Bombastic Guitar-Tony Blair's Favorite axe.


25 Jan 07 - 06:22 AM (#1947436)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: John Hardly

Agricultstic Guitar They do, as it turns out, grow on trees.


25 Jan 07 - 12:41 PM (#1947756)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: McGrath of Harlow

Monastic Guitar for those with a musical habit.

Gastric Guitar for gutsy music.

And Eclectic Guitar for those who like to pick and choose the music they play.


25 Jan 07 - 12:52 PM (#1947769)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: John Hardly

Acrewstick -- ideally suited for such classics as" "Micahel Row The Boat Ashore" and "Row, Row, Row Your Boat".


25 Jan 07 - 02:14 PM (#1947838)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Scoville

Babalustic--as played by Desi Arnaz/Ricky Ricardo


25 Jan 07 - 02:16 PM (#1947842)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Scoville

Oh, and:

Froufroustic--all the bells and whistles, even if you don't need them.


25 Jan 07 - 02:21 PM (#1947846)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Scoville

Accruestic--you get one, then another, then another . . .


25 Jan 07 - 03:05 PM (#1947906)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Scoville

Agnewstic--played by seconds-in-command to unpopular presidents.


25 Jan 07 - 04:09 PM (#1947962)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Stilly River Sage

Yabbadabbadostic guitar is a stone-age precursor to the modern guitar


25 Jan 07 - 04:15 PM (#1947967)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: McGrath of Harlow

Bostik Guitar for sticky passages.


25 Jan 07 - 04:54 PM (#1947985)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Scoville

speedstic--for those prone to perspiring

parlezvoustic--transcribes automatically


26 Jan 07 - 02:33 AM (#1948327)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Blindlemonsteve

Dont forget the "Ajewstick Guitar". very popular in Synagogues on saturdays.


26 Jan 07 - 02:34 AM (#1948329)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Blindlemonsteve

Also the "bamboostick Guitar", readily available from all jungle music shops.


26 Jan 07 - 03:11 AM (#1948348)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Blindlemonsteve

The "wot-do-i-do-stic guitar" the ultimate first guitar, comes with no books, but you do get blow pipes for tuning.


26 Jan 07 - 03:21 AM (#1948354)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Blindlemonsteve

This one is fantastic,,,,, The "De Ja Vu stic guitar" it rings a bell.


26 Jan 07 - 10:16 AM (#1948651)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: RangerSteve

Abuse-tic guitar - specially designed for rock musicians who like to bash the instruments on stage after a performance.

Amuse-tic guitar - the one that you play for fun.

Adieustic - the one that you just traded in for a new one.

Adiostic - the Spanish guitar you just traded in for a new one.

Acloistic - you play it all alone in a room where no one can hear you and it doesn't have any strings anyway, because you took a vow of silence.

Chewsick - made out of rawhide for your dog to chew on.


26 Jan 07 - 10:16 AM (#1948652)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Scrump

Acowstic Guitar - ideal for accompanying "Champion Dung Spreader".

I'll get me smock.


26 Jan 07 - 12:22 PM (#1948791)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Scoville

Abrewstic--for beer lovers

Apewstic--the only instrument you can play on Sunday

Bayoustic--for Cajun musicians


26 Jan 07 - 12:41 PM (#1948813)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Blindlemonsteve

Dont forget Noah´s guitar, The "two by two stic"


26 Jan 07 - 12:47 PM (#1948825)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Scoville

P.U.-stic--needs some of that speedstic.


26 Jan 07 - 12:50 PM (#1948829)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Blindlemonsteve

the "My coo ca choo stic guitar" made famous by Alvin Stardust. there really is no barrel i wont scrape.


26 Jan 07 - 12:54 PM (#1948835)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Scoville

Yeah, I'm having way too much fun. My family has punning in the DNA. There are very few places we can do it legitimately.

PepeLePewstic--special edition of the P.U.-stic. Comes in black lacquer finish with white binding.


26 Jan 07 - 02:48 PM (#1948955)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Blindlemonsteve

the "voodoostic guitar" you might feel a bit of a prick playing it.


26 Jan 07 - 02:50 PM (#1948956)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Bunnahabhain

A-roo-stick- as played by Aussie bush bands.


26 Jan 07 - 02:52 PM (#1948959)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Scoville

toodleoostic--only use it for the last song in the set.


26 Jan 07 - 02:53 PM (#1948961)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Scoville

loupgaroustic--only for Cajuns who wolf out under a full moon.


26 Jan 07 - 05:57 PM (#1949120)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: RangerSteve

Emu-stic guitar - another one played by Aussie bush bands.

Et-tu-stic - your guitar is just like mine.

Boru-stic - ancient Irish forrunner of the modern guitar.

Peru-stic - used in Incan music.

Baloo-stic - the bear in "The Jungle Books" played one.

Farou-stic - made especially for the last king of Egypt.

Kerou-stic - made for accompanying beat poetry.

Igloostic - an Inuit instrument.

afewstic - they didn't make many of these.

I can't think of any more. Maybe that's a good thing.


26 Jan 07 - 06:10 PM (#1949132)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Scoville

boohoostic--see the Tear Jerker thread above.

pogoostic--for a) bouncy songs or b) cartoon possums.

Oh, come on--everyone has to have an outlet for inaninity.


26 Jan 07 - 06:55 PM (#1949189)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: John Hardly

And now from the "dark side"....

Eclectric Guitar -- You can play just about anything on it.

Electrick Guitar -- Santorum played one. It was unplugged last year

Neglectric Guitar -- Sits in the corner collecting dust

Elastric Guitar -- Bend these strings, baby

Elextric -- The alternative Lutheran guitar

Elactric Guitar-- As with electric guitar, some people are elactric intolerant

A lesstrict Guitar -- No need to play by the rules.

Elegtrick Guitar -- Can't be played after knee surgery.

Eelectric Guitar -- Some rare species provide their own electricity. Some are tuned EAAAAE. That variety is called the "More A" eelectric.

Emetric Guitar is played everywhere in the world but the USA

Ellactric Guitar -- the guitar that Joe Pass used in those sessions with Fitzgerald

Delectric Guitar -- A delectric guitar is a guitar that is particularly prized within a given culture

Bimbectric Guitar – I hear the Tommy Lee bought one for Pamela Anderson

Quadriceptric Guitar – another name for "lap steel" guitar

Beelectric Guitar – Purportedly bass player Sting owns one

Finally, I hear that Gretsky had Gretchky make him an eHatric Guitar.


27 Jan 07 - 11:45 AM (#1949676)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: McGrath of Harlow

Emetic Guitar, for when you've had too much of a good thing.


27 Jan 07 - 06:37 PM (#1949986)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: RangerSteve

Dyslextric guitar (or ratiug).


27 Jan 07 - 07:25 PM (#1950023)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: bubblyrat

What about the PLASTIC ?? As played by Middle Eastern terrorists ??


28 Jan 07 - 11:38 AM (#1950415)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Big Al Whittle

Blind Pew-stic guitar - as ever was, me hearties!


28 Jan 07 - 11:46 AM (#1950425)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Big Al Whittle

The Dangerous Dan MacGrew-stic guitar - very Service-able


28 Jan 07 - 12:30 PM (#1950454)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Big Al Whittle

Say it again Fat b-----d - I don't mind. It comforting sort of thing to say......


28 Jan 07 - 12:47 PM (#1950474)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Scoville

Aqueastic--nauseating. Works well for backup with the emetic guitar above, though.


28 Jan 07 - 07:43 PM (#1950813)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: McGrath of Harlow

There's Semitic Guitar for Klezmer music.

And Erratic Guitar, which is a bit hit and miss.

And of course Erotic Guitar, for which the same can be said...


29 Jan 07 - 06:46 AM (#1951063)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Big Al Whittle

Young ingenue-stic guitar - played by winners of radio 2 folk awards


29 Jan 07 - 10:53 AM (#1951241)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Scrump

Tenor Guitar. Great value for money.

Steal Guitar. Even better value - didn't cost a penny.

Pedal steal guitar. He made his getaway on a bicycle.

...I'll get me coat.


29 Jan 07 - 11:29 AM (#1951284)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: C-flat

Altruistic guitar........for your enjoyment and free of charge!!


C-flat


29 Jan 07 - 06:20 PM (#1951717)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Big Al Whittle

great spot C-flat! Really enjoyed that. we'll fit you in for another one next week! Can't give you a booking unfortunately, we're saving up for someone nobody likes except me.


30 Jan 07 - 02:24 AM (#1952040)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: C-flat

That sounds about right big Al!!


02 Feb 07 - 03:40 PM (#1955939)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Cluin

Eclectic guitars.


02 Feb 07 - 05:40 PM (#1956018)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: GUEST,Scoville

There's also the Amusing Bass Gallery, which is pretty eclectic.


03 Feb 07 - 12:45 PM (#1956642)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Big Al Whittle

the mange-tout-stic guitar - green and tasteless.


04 Feb 07 - 12:04 AM (#1957144)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: GUEST,DonMeixner

A Ragoutstic guitar would have some very tasty licks played upon it.
A Perustic guitar would come from South America.
A Kazoostic guitar would be a hum dinger of an axe.


04 Feb 07 - 04:37 AM (#1957228)
Subject: RE: BS: Acoustic Guitar
From: Big Al Whittle

orthodox jew-stic guitar - the G string has been circumcised