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29 Jan 07 - 01:30 AM (#1950970) Subject: BS: For Men Only From: GUEST,Dickey Old age must be creeping up on me. The wife and I were having an amorous session this morning and at the peak of the activity I could hear my hip joints gong scrump scrump scrump. There was no pain but I have never heard this before. Do I have a problem? Has anybody else had this experience? |
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29 Jan 07 - 01:43 AM (#1950974) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Barry Finn Do you have a problem? Ya, that was just way to much info. Barry |
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29 Jan 07 - 01:49 AM (#1950976) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Stilly River Sage Did it hurt? |
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29 Jan 07 - 02:00 AM (#1950978) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Big Al Whittle Sure it was your hip joints? perhaps it was your wife. Does she know Scrump? |
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29 Jan 07 - 04:10 AM (#1950997) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: skipy If they only went scrump three times then yes you have a problem! Skipy |
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29 Jan 07 - 04:11 AM (#1950998) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Dave Hanson Scrump ain't gonna be happy about this. eric |
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29 Jan 07 - 04:22 AM (#1950999) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: JohnInKansas One suggestion is that you might consult the Kama Sutra1 for a better position that places less stress upon your hips, or on whichever "sensitive" part next presents itself. The experimental approach to finding a "new way" can be a lot of fun, and for some of the positions the giggles will probably cover the "scrumps." 1 As a reference manual, the KS is much over-rated; but there are any number of quite good modern manuals in back corners of the book shops. My experience has been that the young ladies at the checkout counter are able to suppress their snickers until you're out of earshot - unless you're s.o.o.o.o. old that they find your interest inconcievable. (You're welcome to use my "it's a stag party gift for a nephew.") John |
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29 Jan 07 - 05:27 AM (#1951024) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: John O'L Scrump, eh? Let me see, how do I explain this without offending anyone? There's this old bull and this young bull on a hill overlooking a mob of cattle. No, no that's a different thing altogether. When you were young you used to bang all night and never give it another thought. Well a scrump is a bang savoured. A bang could be thought of as a scrump frittered away in one's reckless feckless youth. |
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29 Jan 07 - 06:14 AM (#1951048) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Amos John, you're waxing poetical!! A |
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29 Jan 07 - 07:37 AM (#1951084) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Georgiansilver You could have a hip replacement or your wife could get a man replacement. |
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29 Jan 07 - 07:46 AM (#1951092) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Beer Try calling "The Wife" "MY WIFE" It may help. |
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29 Jan 07 - 07:48 AM (#1951096) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Mr Red Well there is always the er - not too sure what it is called - but lets refer to it as the doggy fashion lying on your sides. It will put the stresses in different positions and as in different positions go it is not indifferent........................ or you could try getting well-oiled though as age is a factor alcohol may also be. I'll get my dirt old mac. |
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29 Jan 07 - 08:06 AM (#1951109) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: 3refs "Well there is always the er - not too sure what it is called - but lets refer to it as the doggy fashion lying on your sides." I think it's called "spooning" or the "spoon position". |
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29 Jan 07 - 08:15 AM (#1951114) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Cluin Try it with her on top. |
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29 Jan 07 - 10:42 AM (#1951235) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Scrump I 'eard that - pardon?! :-) |
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29 Jan 07 - 11:16 AM (#1951268) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: GUEST,ib48 Iwish i had a chance of hesring my joints scrumping on a morning you lucky old bugger |
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29 Jan 07 - 11:30 AM (#1951285) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: GUEST Perhaps you're turning into the Tin Man. |
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29 Jan 07 - 11:31 AM (#1951286) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: George Papavgeris And I always thought that "going scrumping" meant something totally different... How innocent can one be... |
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29 Jan 07 - 11:44 AM (#1951302) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: number 6 "There was no pain but I have never heard this before. Do I have a problem? No ... after all these years you finally have the 'act' down right. biLL |
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29 Jan 07 - 12:14 PM (#1951326) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Cluin By the way, as long as you've broached the subject... what kind of noises were you hearing from "the wife"? If they were encouraging ones, dwell on that. |
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29 Jan 07 - 12:15 PM (#1951328) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Bee-dubya-ell A daily dose of flax seed oil can help lube scrumpy old joints. |
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29 Jan 07 - 12:21 PM (#1951335) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Cluin Flax seed oil is a good supplement to take. But if you are on prescription meds, be careful when you take it. It can prevent absorption of oral medications. See here. I prefer to use the flax seed itself often to get the fibre benefits. Tastes good on a salad or on oatmeal. |
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29 Jan 07 - 12:37 PM (#1951348) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Bunnahabhain Why Men only anyway? last time I checked, both genders have hips, and any number of ways to do stupid things to them. Plus we're a nosy bunch round here, so a title like this isn't really productive anyway... |
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29 Jan 07 - 12:42 PM (#1951356) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Little Hawk Elephants found a solution for this problem millenia ago. They don't thrust with the hips at all. They have a sort of pneumatic penis that pumps in and out all by itself while the elephant(s) both simply stand there and enjoy it. |
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29 Jan 07 - 01:05 PM (#1951389) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: GUEST Pneumatics might produce some noteworthy sounds. |
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29 Jan 07 - 01:08 PM (#1951391) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: GUEST Or, put another way, pneumatics might trump gymnastics. |
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29 Jan 07 - 01:11 PM (#1951394) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Little Hawk (chuckle) |
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29 Jan 07 - 01:23 PM (#1951407) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Little Hawk Do it again tomorrow, count the average number of "scrumps" per minute, and divide that number by 12. If the result is a prime number between 2 and 59, seek medical attention at once! |
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29 Jan 07 - 02:58 PM (#1951502) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: GUEST,Dickey There were more that three scrumps but I am afraid they woud exceed one screen so I only iterated three scrumps. I just had a thought. Maybe somone way back in history heard the scrumps and coined the word scrumptious. |
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29 Jan 07 - 03:19 PM (#1951521) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Georgiansilver nice word for scraping rump...scrump.....mmmmm |
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29 Jan 07 - 03:54 PM (#1951545) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: fat B****rd Dickey, Shouldn't a person be glad to be "scrumping" at all, never mind the creaking. |
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29 Jan 07 - 04:26 PM (#1951570) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: GUEST,scrump doctor Are you sure the "scrump" was coming from the hip area? Was there a smell of burning? Try lubricating your appendage next time. |
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29 Jan 07 - 04:30 PM (#1951573) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Cluin Did you have a knee on one of your balls? |
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29 Jan 07 - 04:36 PM (#1951579) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Slag As "Willie" Wonka said to the UmpaLumpa, "Scrump-diddly-icious!" (he was getting his lumps, going 'umpah, umpah, umpah...). |
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29 Jan 07 - 04:43 PM (#1951587) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Michael Scrump:- I heard that; pardon? Uncle Mort right? Mike |
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29 Jan 07 - 09:31 PM (#1951890) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: GUEST,Dickey The scrumpee was not bothered by the sound at all. C'mon baby, let's do the scrump. |
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30 Jan 07 - 07:58 AM (#1952249) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: GUEST,Mr Red (who watches documentaries though) 3refs Spoon - is I believe - more of a sitting position legs akimbo so that the porno camera has a clear view - or so I am led to understand - not being a voyeur. But yes - it was said to be descriptive. |
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30 Jan 07 - 11:34 AM (#1952510) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: dick greenhaus Could it be that, rather than your hips getting worse, your hearing is improving? |
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30 Jan 07 - 11:44 AM (#1952523) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Scrump Scrump:- I heard that; pardon? Uncle Mort right? Close - it was Uncle Staveley :) |
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30 Jan 07 - 01:02 PM (#1952624) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Den Some very helpful information there and WLD you had me laughing out loud. |
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30 Jan 07 - 06:02 PM (#1952926) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Liz the Squeak Cod liver oil (although it takes a couple of months to feel the benefit) and a different position. Lucky bastard. LTS |
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30 Jan 07 - 07:02 PM (#1952972) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Schantieman ...and what exactly do you do with the oil. Liz? Inject it directly into the offending joint perhaps? ahem ;-) S |
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30 Jan 07 - 07:29 PM (#1952991) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: kendall I'd give up sex before I'd swallow that crap! The only thing worse is CASTOR oil. |
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30 Jan 07 - 07:56 PM (#1953011) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Beer Mum use to go down to the fishing shacks and scrape off the cod liver oil that floated to the top. Once home, boil it let it cool then we had to have a spoonful every morning before going off to school. Man that stuff was horrific. Just the mention of it I want to puke. Good for a lot of things though. Since the moratorium on cod maybe they will run out. |
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30 Jan 07 - 09:05 PM (#1953063) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: frogprince I've heard a whole lot of euphemisms and expressions for "getting it on", but first heard "scrumping" from a young co-worker just a few years back. Afterward I asked her "What do you have if you make love deep in the woods?" ....Forest Scrump. |
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30 Jan 07 - 09:34 PM (#1953082) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: katlaughing I'm still thinking about the wonders of a pneumatic penis! Oh, honeee...lookee here what I learned on the Mudcat!**BG** |
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30 Jan 07 - 10:45 PM (#1953113) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Cluin If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need the cod liver oil. |
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31 Jan 07 - 10:37 AM (#1953537) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Liz the Squeak At least no-one recommended garlic capsules.. that way you'd have no worries - only another garlic lover would get close enough to scrump! LTS |
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01 Feb 07 - 03:02 AM (#1954276) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: GUEST,Dickey I see some ladies? peeking in on this thread. It reminds me of a restaurant in Miami. I can't remember the name but in the ladies restroom there was a mural if Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Over Adam's penis there was a leaf carved out of wood, hinged at the top. Under the leaf was a switch that activated a loud buzzer that could be heard everywhere. Whenever someone set off the buzzer everybody would be watching as she exited the restroom, red as a beet. |
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01 Feb 07 - 05:40 AM (#1954338) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Georgiansilver Was that exited or excited? Dickey? |
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01 Feb 07 - 12:24 PM (#1954705) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Cluin Don't look, ladies. Dickey's hanging out here. |
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01 Feb 07 - 01:07 PM (#1954741) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Little Hawk LOL! How diabolical. |
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02 Feb 07 - 06:24 AM (#1955406) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: GUEST,Mr Red as a beet Reminds me of the bottle of pills I bought as a joke way back. Sex Lax. I always kept them on view in the bathroom and forgot I had them there at a party. Halfway through the evening I noticed the erstwhile full bottle had reduced to half empty. No one mentioned it - I was too amused to let on! |
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02 Feb 07 - 08:22 AM (#1955495) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: freda underhill There is a solution to this problem, guest, but it involves yoga, a crowbar and some emu linament. |
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02 Feb 07 - 04:00 PM (#1955951) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: bassen I respectfully submit that this thread should be moved above the line, for example to one of threads about the music scene at coffee houses and cafes in the 50s and 60s...since it's about new sounds in a hip joint;-) |
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02 Feb 07 - 04:30 PM (#1955972) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: Charley Noble The joint is jumpin', It's really jumpin', Come in, cats, and check your hats, I mean this joint is jumpin'! Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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06 Feb 07 - 01:41 PM (#1959286) Subject: RE: BS: For Men Only From: GUEST,Dickey WOMEN OVER FORTYThis is a piece [NOT] written by Andy Rooney - CBS 60 Minutes. As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 40 will not lay next to you in bed and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting. A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know. A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 18-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize: it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage. |