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19 Feb 07 - 09:32 AM (#1972438) Subject: BS: Feminist jokes From: Lox Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'Why are women rubbish at parking their cars? cos men keep telling them that this: >-------------------< is six inches .... Any more examples? |
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19 Feb 07 - 10:01 AM (#1972460) Subject: RE: BS: Sexist jokes (female) From: McGrath of Harlow Doesn't mean to say they can't be funny - but the Feminist label doesn't realy suit them. |
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19 Feb 07 - 10:15 AM (#1972481) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Dave Hanson Why does it take a woman with PMS 4 hours to cook a chicken ? COS IT DOES |
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19 Feb 07 - 10:46 AM (#1972519) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: katlaughing Thread should be titled "Sexist" jokes, nothing feminist about them. |
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19 Feb 07 - 11:01 AM (#1972529) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: skipy Lox, you have probably just started a war! Skipy |
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19 Feb 07 - 11:23 AM (#1972542) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: The PA Really old one - Why do men call women 'birds'? Because they pick up worms. |
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19 Feb 07 - 11:36 AM (#1972553) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: jimlad9 An educated Afghan lady campaigned for more freedom for Afghani women after the Taliban were defeated. Two years later she revisited Kabul again and found little had changed. However she did notice that the women now walked 10 paces behind their menfolk as opposed to 5 paces behind on her previous visits. On asking for an explanation for the increased distance she was answered in two words. Land Mines |
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19 Feb 07 - 11:42 AM (#1972561) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Bill D jimlad...that joke is OLD *grin*...I heard it about Korea, and I have no doubt that it was invented back in WWI....and besides, it should be that they walk AHEAD. |
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19 Feb 07 - 11:46 AM (#1972563) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Bill D and now it is sometimes getting reported as true |
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19 Feb 07 - 11:53 AM (#1972567) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Mr Red mummy mummy - what's an orgasm? dunno - ask yer dad. |
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19 Feb 07 - 12:03 PM (#1972572) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: jimlad9 I can't vouch for the pedigree of this one but it was on the BBC and apart from the Pope it doesn't get much better than that. Anthropologist in Papua New Guinea were investigating reports that Cannibalism was being practiced again. Seemingly the consumption of 'Long Pig' ie human flesh has the downside that a fatal illness is passed on to the eater. It was found that the ratio of dead males to dead females was overwhelmingly in favour of the men because with anything new or suspicious the ladies were asked to try it first. On the same principle I always let my wife go first on Escalators,in Revolving Doors or in Lifts. |
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19 Feb 07 - 12:08 PM (#1972576) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: jimlad9 Mummy Mummy I don't want to go to France. Shut up George and keep on swimming _________________________________________________________ Mummy Mummy can I have a bra,all the girls in my class have got them. No George _____________________________________________________________ Mummy Mummy I don't want to go to school today. You have to George you are the Headmaster |
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19 Feb 07 - 12:09 PM (#1972579) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Bunnahabhain Lox, you really need to get a Girlfriend. Then you need to start running... |
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19 Feb 07 - 12:33 PM (#1972606) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Georgiansilver Why did the woman cross the road?............... Irrelevant! What was she doing out of the kitchen? |
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19 Feb 07 - 12:34 PM (#1972607) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Georgiansilver How can you tell if a woman is clever....... She always starts her sentence with "A man told me that" |
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19 Feb 07 - 12:34 PM (#1972608) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Georgiansilver By the way...these are jokes folks..I am not the least bit sexist. |
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19 Feb 07 - 12:38 PM (#1972614) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Midchuck How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THAT'S NOT FUNNY!Peter. |
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19 Feb 07 - 12:52 PM (#1972628) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Alec Back in my College days my Sociology Lecturer (who was a woman) maintained that Men reached their full social development by the age of 12. This conclusion was based on the observation that 12 year old boys social lives tended to centre on 3 activities. 1)Watching sport. 2)Looking at pictures of naked women. 3)Hanging out with their male friends. She concluded that men's social lives, beyond the age of 12,continued to centre on these 3 activities permanently,therefore men reach their full social development by the age of 12. |
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19 Feb 07 - 02:37 PM (#1972740) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: GUEST,Kitty Lettermore The Lightbulb joke is: "How many Feminists does it take to change a Lightbulb?" "ONE! And it's not funny." |
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19 Feb 07 - 02:58 PM (#1972771) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Cathie Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg? A: Because not one will stop and ask directions. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your email? A: Rename the folder to "Instructions Manuals." Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you." |
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19 Feb 07 - 02:58 PM (#1972772) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Paul from Hull Alec, I think I had the same woman Sociology Lecturer....or maybe they are just all clones.... |
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19 Feb 07 - 05:42 PM (#1972936) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: GUEST,lox I know some sexist ones too (in the interests of a balanced perspective etc of course) Perhaps I should hold back though ..... |
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19 Feb 07 - 05:43 PM (#1972938) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: GUEST,lox .... Oh sod it Why do women fake orgasms? Cos they think men care. |
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19 Feb 07 - 06:27 PM (#1972991) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Ebbie ouch |
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19 Feb 07 - 08:34 PM (#1973137) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Joe_F Men have two heads, but only enough blood to work one at a time. |
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19 Feb 07 - 09:47 PM (#1973176) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Dave Wynn Grow your own dope...........Plant a man. |
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20 Feb 07 - 03:04 AM (#1973339) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Georgiansilver According to women Joe that should be two brains. |
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20 Feb 07 - 05:12 AM (#1973408) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Dave Hanson Women have many faults, men only have two, everything they say and everything they do. |
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20 Feb 07 - 10:04 AM (#1973651) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Bee There were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone "brother" 2. He liked Gospel 3. He couldn't get a fair trial. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish 1. He went into His Father's business. 2. He lived at home until he was 33. 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: 1. He talked with his hands. 2. He had wine with every meal. 3. He used olive oil. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian: 1. He never cut his hair. 2. He walked around barefoot all the time. 3. He started a new religion. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish: 1. He never got married. 2. He was always telling stories. 3. He loved green pastures. But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman: 1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food. 2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it. 3. Even when he was dead,He had to get up because there was more work for him to do. |
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20 Feb 07 - 12:35 PM (#1973831) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: autolycus Why do men have transparent luchboxes? So they'll know whether they're going to work or coming home from work. Ivor |
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20 Feb 07 - 04:10 PM (#1974095) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Mr Red How many men does it take to tile a bathroom? Depends how thin you slice them. |
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20 Feb 07 - 07:31 PM (#1974340) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Dave Wynn I know a doggist joke. Please remember a puppy isn't just for christmas......... You can save a slice for the new year..... Sorry Mum |
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20 Feb 07 - 07:35 PM (#1974348) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: bobad Bad dog spot. |
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20 Feb 07 - 07:39 PM (#1974353) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Peace XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX |
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21 Feb 07 - 03:49 AM (#1974590) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: GUEST,lox Why are you called "peace"? ;') |
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21 Feb 07 - 05:00 AM (#1974634) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Georgiansilver GUEST lox....now he will go quiet!!!! You'll get no answer! |
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21 Feb 07 - 05:07 AM (#1974644) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: guitar i think this is sexist against men. but after all they are just jokes. Sorry if i have offended you for writtig that. |
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21 Feb 07 - 05:13 AM (#1974651) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: guitar I as a man can take jokes, here's a really sexist joke, I don't beleive that this shoud happen, but here goes I don't think that women should be chained to the sink, i mean how else is she going to cook the dinner. I heard that one on the radio, I agree that is sexist. I'm hopefully not sexist. |
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21 Feb 07 - 05:19 AM (#1974656) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: guitar i don't want start a war |
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21 Feb 07 - 01:16 PM (#1975097) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: GUEST,lox Is Quiet his girlfriend? I prefer her to War though. |
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21 Feb 07 - 01:29 PM (#1975109) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Midchuck Why do men have bigger feet than women? So women can get closer to the sink. P. |
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21 Feb 07 - 01:42 PM (#1975116) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Peace "Why are you called "peace"? ;')" I thought that Mayhem was taken. |
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21 Feb 07 - 01:46 PM (#1975120) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Ebbie I prefer Peace. :) |
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21 Feb 07 - 04:34 PM (#1975254) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: GUEST,lox Mayhem? That was just me clearing my throat! |
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21 Feb 07 - 05:00 PM (#1975278) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist jokes From: Peace Mayhem my pants later. |
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21 Feb 07 - 07:23 PM (#1975451) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: GUEST,Nick Sexist Joke about females: How long does it take a woman to orgasam? WHO CARES? Sexist Jokes about males: What is the difference between men and Bonds? Bonds Mature. A mother was glowing about her newborn baby... "He seems to have atributes of both sexes. He has a penis and a brain!" Two guys are walking down the street when they observe a male dog licking it's privates. The first guy say "I have always wished I could do that!" His friend replies "You probably ought to pet him first." Nick |
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20 Oct 08 - 05:57 AM (#2470556) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: GUEST,ben and alliee what is a mans real priority? his privates |
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20 Oct 08 - 06:29 AM (#2470568) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: Proogle LOL! and that road kill thing is blooming manky! |
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20 Oct 08 - 07:00 PM (#2471230) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: Bat Goddess Q: How many menopausal women does it take to change a light bulb? Woman's Answer: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !! I'm sorry. What was the question? |
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20 Oct 08 - 07:36 PM (#2471265) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: Art Thieme From the beginning, the women's movement has taught me one huge lesson---and... I no longer believe I'm God." Art Thieme |
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20 Oct 08 - 11:40 PM (#2471448) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: Joe_F A country boy & girl are sitting on a fence, watching a bull & a cow. He (shyly): Gee, I wish I was a-doin' that. She (shrugs): It's your cow. * Feminine intuition is a myth invented by men to fool women out of using what brains they have. * Men are luckier than women: they marry later & die sooner. |
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21 Oct 08 - 07:30 PM (#2472279) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: Mrrzy Why don't women have brains? Cause they don't have a penis to CARRY'M AROUND IN! |
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21 Oct 08 - 08:06 PM (#2472329) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: dick greenhaus Why is Woman's work never done? 'Cause they're so damn slow. |
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21 Oct 08 - 08:11 PM (#2472334) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: GUEST,Justin U You can say what you like about my ex-wife, but she was a good housekeeper. She's been married and divorced four times and managed to keep the house every time. |
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21 Oct 08 - 08:56 PM (#2472369) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: Donuel Sarah Palin is the shining example of feminist campaigns throughout history and the pinacle of feminist accomplishments, not Hillary. |
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22 Oct 08 - 01:57 AM (#2472468) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Why don't women fart???? They don't keep their mouths shut long enough to build up pressure! |
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22 Oct 08 - 02:03 AM (#2472471) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Why do farts stink?? So deaf people can enjoy them, too! |
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22 Oct 08 - 02:33 AM (#2472477) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: Cluin No it's... Why don't single women fart? Because they don't have an asshole yet. |
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22 Oct 08 - 02:35 AM (#2472479) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: Cluin Why do men snore when they sleep on their backs? Because their nutsacks slide down and cover their rectums and they vapour-lock. |
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22 Oct 08 - 02:36 AM (#2472480) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity From: Cluin Date: 22 Oct 08 - 02:33 AM No it's... Why don't single women fart? Because they don't have an asshole yet. No, some just act like they don't. |
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22 Oct 08 - 02:37 AM (#2472481) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: Cluin When a frenzied day of trading ended on Friday, the Dow had suffered its worst week ever... leaving global markets in a panicked state of uncertainty, and one shocked trader said : "This is much worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth, and I still have a wife!" |
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22 Oct 08 - 03:06 AM (#2472489) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: Georgiansilver What is the difference between a pre-menstrual woman and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist!!!! |
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22 Oct 08 - 07:17 PM (#2473222) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: Doug Chadwick Why do brides wear white? It's the traditional colour for kitchen appliances |
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22 Oct 08 - 08:31 PM (#2473303) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: Joe_F Penis envy: The theory that every woman wishes she had a prick until she marries one. |
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22 Oct 08 - 08:43 PM (#2473310) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: GUEST,MarkS (on the road) How does a real man tell if his sex partner is satisfied? A real man does not care. |
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23 Oct 08 - 03:34 AM (#2473454) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity You come back from being gone for a couple of days....you walk inside the door. ..How can you tell if a homosexual has been in your house, while you were gone??? You open the refrigerator door, and the rump roast farts! |
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23 Oct 08 - 07:19 AM (#2473553) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: Proogle I dont get GUEST,Guest From Sanity... |
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23 Oct 08 - 08:51 AM (#2473645) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: Acorn4 A bloke walked into the casualty department of a hospital. He was bent double with pain, and both his hands were clasped between his legs which were tightly clenched. "What's the trouble?" said the nurse. "Arggh! I got hit by a cricket ball and I'm in agony. Can you do something, please? "Don't worry -just take off your trousers and pants and lie on the couch over there." The nurse then massaged his testicles for half an hour, then said:- "There, does that feel better?" "Yes", said the bloke, "feels great , but I still reckon I might lose the fingernail!" |
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23 Oct 08 - 10:08 PM (#2474362) Subject: RE: BS: Feminist (not!) jokes From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity From: Proogle Date: 23 Oct 08 - 07:19 AM I dont get GUEST,Guest From Sanity... HUHH??????????? |