To Thread - Forum Home

The Mudcat Café TM
https://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=99940
18 messages

Lyr Req: Jackson and Jane (Mark Graham)

16 Feb 07 - 08:29 PM (#1970259)
Subject: Lyr Req: jackson and Jane by Mark Graham
From: GUEST,csoucy

Does anyone know the lyrics to Mark Grahams "Jackson and Jane" ? About the cow who goes to aerobics in spandex?
Thanks


17 Feb 07 - 06:43 AM (#1970482)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: jackson and Jane by Mark Graham
From: GUEST,kenny

The lyrics are on the sleeve-notes of the 2nd CD he recorded with Kevin Burke's "Open House" ? It's a bloody long song to type out, but if no-one else does it, I'll do it for you next week.


18 Feb 07 - 04:33 PM (#1971880)
Subject: Lyr Add: JACKSON AND JANE (traditional, Paul Brady
From: Jim Dixon

This is not what you want, but it apparently has never been posted at Mudcat before. It seems a shame to post the parody without first posting the original (assuming that's a parody you're after), so I'll post this.

Copied from Paul Brady's web site:

JACKSON AND JANE
(Words traditional, music Paul Brady)

You Monaghan sportsmen I pray you draw near
To a few simple verses you quickly shall hear.
It's the deeds of a hero that lives near Ballybay,
And they call him Hugh Jackson, I hear people say.

His mill, kilns and barns, they do cut a great show,
And his cloth to the North and the City does go.
At bleaching and lapping he does beat them all,
And his cloth was first approved of at the Linen Hall.

And more of his praises I'm going to explain,
So if you will assist me, I'll sing about Jane.
Search Ireland all over from Cork to Kildare,
And you'll ne'er find a match for Hugh Jackson's gray mare.

He went to the stable, to the mare he did say,
"The hour is approaching and we must away,
For a cup at Cootehill you have twice won with fame,
And this day we are challenged, and you must run again."

She turned in her stable, "Kind sir, don't you know,
This cup is my own and I won't let it go.
For twice I have won it and I mean to do still
And we'll roll it in splendour from the plains of Cootehill."

The Jockeys were mounted and all in a row,
And if you had 'a' been there when off they did go.
The bets they were makin' ten guineas to four
That the cup back to Creeve would return never more.

When Jane she heard this, well, her mettle did rise.
Over hedges and ditches like lightning she flies,
And with a loud "neigher" these words she did say:
"You Bellamont sportsmen, I'll show yous the way".

When Jane and her jockey were half round the course,
Miss Jane and her jockey began to discourse.
Said Miss Jane to her jockey, "Kind sir, let me know,
Where are my opponents or are they in view?"

He turned in the saddle and he cast an eye round.
"As for Squire Adams, he lies on the ground.
I'm afraid that poor Curry by Spanker is threw,
And the rest of your opponents they are not yet in view."

When Jane she heard this, she went in at a race,
And into the scales the balance was laid.
The hall was surrounded for Jackson and Jane,
And the cup went with honours back to Creeve once again.

[Recorded by Paul Brady on "The Liberty Tapes," 2001.]


19 Feb 07 - 09:50 PM (#1973179)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: jackson and Jane by Mark Graham
From: GUEST,csoucy

Don't bother Kenny, now that I know what album, I'll just go buy it
Thanks....


20 Feb 07 - 01:49 PM (#1973904)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: jackson and Jane by Mark Graham
From: GUEST,kenny

Thanks for saving me that. If you can't get the CD, get back to me.


15 Mar 07 - 07:31 PM (#1997995)
Subject: Lyr Req: Dan Jackson?
From: GUEST,BigDaddy

Help! Anyone out there have the lyrics to this song? It begins "My name is Dan Jackson, I follow the plow, I've a five acre farm with a pig and a cow." It goes on to tell how the farmer sent his animals to aerobics class to save them from their own inherent content of "rashers and pork, butter and beef," after reading of the dangers of cholesterol. The song is a hoot, but I've misplaced my own transcription of it. I've tried searching Mudcat and I've googled various lyric combinations. I don't have the singer's name, so... Thanks.


15 Mar 07 - 07:42 PM (#1997999)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My name is Dan Jackson I follow the plow
From: GUEST,BigDaddy

Okay, the songwriter/singer is apparently Mark Graham. The song may be called "Jackson & Jane," but there appears to be an older, traditional song by the same name.


16 Mar 07 - 02:21 AM (#1998179)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My name is Dan Jackson I follow the plow
From: Peace

"Also featured this time around are several of Mark Graham's songs- "Jackson and Jane", "Monkey With a Typewriter", and "The Classical Greek". These are all treats, especially if you have never heard Mark's songs before. The first parodies Irish ballads, using the language of Irish song to humorously narrate a story of a man who is frightened by a cholesterol article in the newspaper. He decides to take his Spandex-bedecked pig and cow to aerobics class out of fear for their health (because "a pig is but rashers and pork to the ground, and a cow's made of butter and beef by the pound"). The lyrics are quite witty- many layers of puns and parodies unravel with each repeated listen."

The above in reference to

OPEN HOUSE
Second Story
Green Linnet GLCD 1144
Copyright © 1994 Dan Beimborn


16 Mar 07 - 02:52 AM (#1998196)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My name is Dan Jackson I follow the plow
From: Joe Offer

I haven't found lyrics there yet, but you really ought to take a look at Mark's Website, www.mongrelfolk.com/ - just because the graphics on the home page are cool.

-Joe-


16 Mar 07 - 07:48 AM (#1998381)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My name is Dan Jackson I follow the plow
From: alanabit

I have a lovely recording of this song by Tenpenny Piece, a band, which featured Mudcatter Robin 2 on the hammered dulcimer. I have not heard from Robin for three or four years now, since she had some health problems. I wonder if anyone else may have heard from her?


16 Mar 07 - 10:22 AM (#1998581)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My name is Dan Jackson I follow the plow
From: Gene

check here...

http://allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:wifqxqwhld0e


17 Mar 07 - 11:06 PM (#1999918)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My name is Dan Jackson I follow the plow
From: GUEST,BigDaddy

Still can't find the lyrics.


17 Mar 07 - 11:22 PM (#1999919)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My name is Dan Jackson I follow the p
From: artbrooks

Are you the same BigDaddy who is a Mudcat member? If nothing comes up in a few more days, PM me and I'll sit down with my Round The House CD and see if I can transcribe it.


18 Mar 07 - 11:06 AM (#2000187)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My name is Dan Jackson I follow the plow
From: GUEST,BigDaddy

Yes artbrooks, that's me. Somewhere I have the song on a cassette that a friend taped from the "Thistle & Shamrock" radio show many years ago. I was in the midst of transcribing it myself years ago when the cassette went missing. I still have the part I transcribed. I had decided to finally sit down and finish it when I realized that after several moves (including from Michigan to Florida and back), I don't seem to still have the tape. Or it's buried in one of too many boxes in the basement. Anyroad, what I have of the song ends with, "Come sign up today and work out at the club/Just past the post office right next to the pub." I'll try the PM thing tonight. Thanks.


19 Mar 07 - 02:42 PM (#2001272)
Subject: Lyr Add: JACKSON AND JANE (Mark Graham)
From: artbrooks

OK, here it is...written by Mark Graham and transcribed from Keep this Coupon from the wonderful Tucson, AZ group Round the House.

JACKSON AND JANE

My name is Dan Jackson. I follow the plow.
I've a five-acre farm with a pig and a cow.
I'm a devil for work when the sun's burning bright,
And a happy wee man by my fire at night.

I can butter me spuds, and there's milk for my tea.
A rasher and eggs are no stranger to me.
Just show me a roast of your beef or your pork
And I'll show you the Rembrandt of knife and of fork.

One night by the hearth, I was reading the Times
About politics and other horrible crimes.
I spied a bold headline that gave me a start:
Said eggs, meat and butter will tear down your heart.

It will clog up you plumbing and puff up your bag
And turn fine lad and lass into has-been and hag,
Blow up your blood pressure clear up to the sky.
Thank Joseph and Mary there's porter, says I.

Then a tear filled me eye. Fear filled my mind,
For the fate of my friends of the four-footed kind,
For a pig is just rashers and pork to the ground,
And a cow's made of butter and beef by the pound.

By Jesus, says I, they'll be poisoned for sure,
For the article mentioned no physic or cure.
My sorrow was great; there was naught I could do.
Then salvation appeared on page seventy-two.

My hope was renewed as I read in a glance
Of the wonders achieved through aerobical dance.
Aerobics, they said will return you to trim
Through the fierce locomotion of torso and limb.

The fat will leap off you like fleas off a cur
And your blood will run clean as a drop of the pure.
Your heart will be filled with such vigor and might.
Fair play to your lungs, your liver and lights.

Come sign up today. Come work out at the club.
It's past the Post Office, right next to the pub.
So early the next morning, before the cock crowed,
Was Bossy, meself and the sow down the road.

We passed the Post Office, walked in through the door,
And there saw a sight that we'd ne'er seen before.
They were leaping about as if under a spell,
And the music rang out like the hammers of Hell.
And in the tightest of tights, in the brightest of hues,
St. Vitas in charge of the whole bloody crew.

We purchased admission. We stood in the back,
And soon with the rest we were ballin' the jack.
And the fat that we burned as we tortured our flesh
Would have ended starvation in Bangladesh.

We labored the winter, spring, summer and fall,
Aerobics and jogging, and Nautilus and all.
Bacteria and virus away from us sped.,
For we ate every vitamin from alpha to zed.

The sow's now a marvel, so lean and so trim,
And full to the brim with vigor and vim.
She's a match for Jane Fonda, so slim and so sleek,
And I hear Donald Trump proposed marriage last week,

And Bossy'd become such a dainty cow-lean.
She gives naught but skim milk and the best margarine.
Her fame had been spreading from village to town.
She's the first of her race to say, "Down, dairy, down."

And, as for meself, it's quite easy to see:
There's no man on the planet can stand up to me.
At aerobics and jogging, I have no peer.
There's only one thing in the world that I fear.

For your man Schwarzenegger, he's no match for me.
Your monkey King Kong can climb up a tree.
And the sum of these two to the power of ten.
But don't let me see Bossy in Spandex again.


19 Mar 07 - 10:24 PM (#2001664)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My name is Dan Jackson I follow the plow
From: BigDaddy

Many big thanks to artbrooks for this one!


19 Mar 07 - 10:27 PM (#2001668)
Subject: LYRIC ADD
From: Peace

Two posts above.


24 Mar 07 - 04:19 PM (#2006062)
Subject: Lyr Add: JACKSON AND JANE (trad. Irish)
From: Jim Dixon

This seems to be the original song that Mark Graham was parodying. It looks like they could be sung to the same tune.

Lyrics below copied from Paul Brady's web site. Brady sings this on his album "The Liberty Tapes."

JACKSON & JANE
(Words traditional, music Paul Brady)

You Monaghan sportsmen I pray you draw near,
To a few simple verses you quickly shall hear,
It's the deeds of a hero that lives near Ballybay,
And they call him Hugh Jackson, I hear people say.

His mill, kilns and barns, they do cut a great show,
And his cloth to the North and the City does go.
At bleaching and lapping he does beat them all,
And his cloth was first approved of at the Linen Hall.

And more of his praises I'm going to explain,
So if you will assist me, I'll sing about Jane,
Search Ireland all over from Cork to Kildare,
And you'll ne'er find a match for Hugh Jackson's gray mare.

He went to the stable, to the mare he did say,
'The hour is approaching and we must away,
For a cup at Cootehill you have twice won with fame,
And this day we are challenged, and you must run again'.

She turned in her stable, 'Kind Sir, don't you know,
This cup is my own and I won't let it go,
For twice I have won it and I mean to do still
And we'll roll it in splendour from the plains of Cootehill:

The Jockeys were mounted and all in a row,
And if you had a' been there when off they did go,
The bets they were makin' ten guineas to four
That the cup back to Creeve would return never more.

When Jane she heard this, well, her mettle did rise,
Over hedges and ditches like lightning she flies,
And with aloud 'neigher' these words she did say,
You Bellamont sportsmen, I'll show yous the way'.

When Jane and her jockey were half round the course,
Miss Jane and her jockey began to discourse,
Said Miss Jane to her jockey 'Kind Sir let me know,
Where are my opponents or are they in view?'

He turned in the saddle and he cast an eye round,
'As for Squire Adams, he lies on the ground,
I'm afraid that poor Curry by Spanker is threw,
And the rest of your opponents they are not yet in view.'

When Jane she heard this, she went in at a race,
And into the scales the balance was laid,
The hall was surrounded for Jackson & Jane,
And the cup went with honours back to Creeve once again.