LH - I agree with you about being a householder etc. the problem is that a lot of people don't recognise that fact and REALLY work at the relationship. In my experience there seems to be an attitiude of 'OK, now we're married I don't have to try so hard' and that's when the real work should start.

I now would not go into a relationship unless I felt that there really was a strong tie with the guy, and a lot of shared interests. Otherwise I think I have got to a point where I can accept that I may never have another romantic relationship for the rest of my life. So be it.

Now I make sure that I be myself - a good friend says that that is what we are most qualified to be. I found it hard at first to be confident of my own opinions, even if they were not shared by the majority, but have now realised how many people will accede to the majority view, just to avoid seeming out of step. I now have a great circle of friends who seek my company and accept me as I am. If I find a guy who does the same, fine. If not life's too short to worry about it.