I've told my daughter that, if I get like my mother, she's to shoot me. I can see that I am coming to resemble her physically but do not want to become like her.

I will agree that we build up a picture book based on those that bring us up but I'm afraid, in my case, that the book is basically how not to behave. I think my parents had their own problems but, as children, my brother and I weren't aware of, or capable of understanding and making allowance for that and my mother has, over the years, alienated most of her family.

The problem with coming out with the above is that some people can't believe that one can feel that way about the people who raised you, but there are bad/indifferent parents as well as good ones. It took me a lot of years to get past the guilt but, having raised two of my own who want to spend time with me, I can see the difference that attitude can make.

Still, I wonder if my daughter would shudder at the thought of being like me!