I learned two super skier songs as a child from my mothers old Bob Gibson vinyl "Ski Songs"... SUPER SKIER They called him super skier as he sat around the sundeck, and he swore that he'd never spill. When they finally took him down they had to use three toboggans to carry all the pieces down the hill (ch)Oh he was slippin' down the slope going ninety miles an hour when he caught an edge of his ski. Oh his clothes they were fast, but the slopes they were faster, that's the last of super skier we shall see He hollered "What the hell!" as he put'em paralell He figured he had nothin' else to learn As he started on his way he was shouting "Andile!" (sp?) Assumin' that he'd never have to turn (Ch Variant) Oh he was slippin' down the slope going ninety miles an hour When a mogul flipped him in the air His jumping form was fine, till he ran into a pine, And two one-legged skiers left from there (ch) When he left the tree at last, he was skiing twice as fast Both halves were skimming moguls like a feather He said "If I must be a split personality, How can I ever keep my knees together?" (ch) One ski was headed east, the other headed west 'cause both of them, you see, were running free-er The folks on Little Nell, they looked up as scared as hell said " It's a bird, no a plane? It's super skier!" (ch) Well, the moral of my story, tho' my story's kinda gory, is very simple even to a dope. Buy the fastest clothes you can, and talk skiing like a man But don't let people catch you on the slope! (Ch) SUPER SKIER'S LAST RACE (Tune: Battle Hymn of the Republic/ John Browns Body) The starter cried "Is everybody ready for the race?" Our super skier shouted "Yes!", and kick turned into place He boldly waved to all his friends, a smirk upon his face. Well he ain't gonna race no more (ch) Gory, gory... what a hell of a way to die (x3, or with two of the variant lines following) ... whos's that nitwit trying to fly ...it's enough to make you cry ...it's a sport I'll never try Well, he ain't gonna race no more He yawned at his opponents, said the race was good as won. He'd ski the course blindfolded just to add a little fun With bandaged eyes he jetted off till his binding came undone Well he ain't gonna race no more (ch) He felt the wind, he felt the cold, he felt the sudden drop He tried to stem, he tried to check, and then he tried to stop His fatal error dawned on him...he shoulda stayed up top Well he ain't gonna race no more (ch) He hit each pole that set the course and twelve spectators too Came roaring through the finish wearin' garlands of bamboo Two were killed and four were hurt and six were black and blue Well he ain't gonna race no more (ch) There was blood upon his bindings, there were brains upon his suit Intestines were a-hangin' from the treetops to the roots They scraped him up from off the snow and poured him from his boots And he ain't gonna race no more (ch) They took him to the hospital and fixed him up real great, But took off all his arms and legs, a sad and lonely fate Now he's working in an office, hired as a paper weight And he ain't gonna race no more (ch) So skiers take my warning, lest you by a pair of skis Why take a chance on cracking up, or risking a deep freeze? There are quicker, slicker ways to go, all guaranteed to please And we ain't gonna ski no more (Final chorus end with last line of last verse)
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