Here's my pitiful offering.

To the tune of "Stormy Weather" (Not folk but anyway here goes)

Don't know why,
There's no buttons on my fly,
Got a zipper,
Me and my girl think it's quicker,
It's quicker with a zipper.

Here's another one you may find quite interesting:

Leprosy,
My God I've got Leprosy,
There goes my right ear
Into my soup dear...

Sounds a bit Tom Lehrer dontcha think? Unfortunately that's all I've got of either of these songs.

There are a number of Irish Folk songs I would like to change the lyrics to - DO YOU LOVE AN APPLE is one of them. I wonder why?

Here goes:

Before I got married I wore a black shawl
But now that I'm married I wear bugger all
I don't like him, why'd I marry him?
I'll be unhappy wherever we go.

He stands in the corner, a fag in his mouth
Two hands in his pockets he whistles me out
I'd love to hurt him, stick a knife in him,
I'll be so happy whenever he's gone.

Before I got married I'd sport and I'd play
But now, how that b#*$&£ard he gets in me way
Now I despise him, I can't stand him
I'm gonna stiff that man when I get home.

Some tea laced with cyanide might do the trick
The pleasure I'll get just from seeing him sick
Oh and Still I hate him, can't wait to get rid of him
I'll laugh as I watch that man decompose.

Do you love an Apple do you love a plum?
Did you shoot your man with a .47 gun?
Oh but now I love him, how much I'll miss him
As the worms rot his body, from his head to his toes.

Written by me in the last few minutes (bored of course). Could do with some amendments. I'm no feminist or misandrist (female mysogonist) but even I have noticed how Irish folk songs, supposedly taking the female viewpoint, are obviously sympathetic towards men. Strange in a country where women are so strong and outspoken, even in history (as far as I'm aware).

Perhaps this could lead to another thread "Feminism in Traditional Folk Music." Yeah, OK, maybe not.

Tcifidh me thu,

Laoise

HTML line breaks added in place of double spacing. --JoeClone, 12-Apr-02.