There are several versions of "The Meeting," certainly an apt addition to this thread to make it "musical." Here's on I wrote down at an inebriate ceilidh at the Atlanta Highland games a few years ago. I felt at home, as all but a few wre gleefully swirling the Scotch in their glasses.

The dogs all had a party, they came from near and far;
Some the came by taxi, and some they came by car.

The dogs they had a party, they signed a little pact;
And each one took his ***, and hung it on a hook.

One dog was not invited, and this aroused his ire;
He strolled into the party, and loudly shouted "fire."

The dogs got so excited, they didn'y stpo to look;
And each one grabbed an ***, off the nearest hook.

This is a sad, sad story, for it makes you very sore;
To wear somebody's ***, you never wore before.

This is why dogs everywhere, no matter where you roam;
Will sniff each other's ***, in hopes it is their own.

--or words to that effect. Only trouble is I can't remember what melody was used.